Tell Me No Secrets

by Michelle-Nikki

  While he put me on hold to fuss with my mother in the background I dialed Chyanne on my cell. It wasn’t like her not to have called or texted, I thought as I looked at the time. It was thirty minutes after three and her doctor’s appointment had been at one. I sent a text message to her after leaving her a voice message telling her to call me. When my dad came back to the phone, I quickly ended the conversation telling him I would get back to him later. For some reason I couldn’t fathom, Chyanne was heavily on my mind and I couldn’t shake the feeling that the only thing that would keep her from calling was if something was wrong. I’d begun to hope that nothing had gone wrong with the baby and that everything was okay. The thought of anything going wrong with Chyanne and the baby unsettled my nerves and put me on edge.

  My cell rang just as I was about to make my way out of the office. It was April. My first mind was to ignore her call, but when the phone stopped ringing only to immediately start again and her name popped up again, I answered the phone.

  “Yeah.”

  “Aric?” The voice was that of a young male.

  “Yes, this is Aric.”

  “This is Aaron, April’s son. Mama said to call you and tell you that something’s happened to Chyanne—”

  My heart rate made haste and felt as if it was about to take a running leap out of my chest.

  “What do you mean something’s happened to Chyanne ?”

  I could tell he had been running because he was breathing hard. “The old man that lives across the street from her called mama and said that some lady had attacked Chyanne and that she was bleeding . . .”

  Not having time to wait for the elevator, I took the stairwell to the parking deck. April’s son was still talking but the only thing I could hear was wind in my ear as I raced down the stairs. In my mind all I could see was the image of Chyanne laying somewhere bleeding and clinging to life. I made it to my car and sped out of the parking deck almost having a head on collision with another car in the process.

  “Where is she now?” I asked when I’d finally turned into traffic.

  “The police and the ambulance are still at her house. I’m standing outside with mama.” I could hear the commotion in the background mixed with sirens. “Mama said somebody shot Chyanne and looked like her house had been robbed.”

  Hearing that Chyanne had been shot puzzled me as I questioned him about why and who had done it. He had no answer. He could only relay what his mother was repeating to him. I could hear April asking questions about Chyanne’s condition and questioning what hospital they would be taking her to. I stayed on the phone as I sped down I-75 trying to get to Chyanne’s place. April got on the phone and gave me a better explanation of the things he son had relayed to me. I had questions that April couldn’t give me the answers to. I asked her if Chyanne and the baby were okay. She said she didn’t know because the police and detectives wouldn’t give her any information which only frustrated me more. I found myself stuck in traffic which caused me to punch the steering wheel and curse out in anger. Stephanie kept beeping in on the other end of my phone and I had to ignore her calls so I could keep April on the line. So much was happening at one time that I felt as if I had lost control.

  By the time I found an exit so I could maneuver around traffic April was telling me that they had taken Chyanne to Atlanta Medical hospital. Forty five minutes later I was rushing through the halls of the ER trying to get someone to give me any information they could on where she had been taken. In the end I was led down a hall and into a waiting area for the families of those who were admitted with life threatening injuries. The room was small with dim lighting. About twenty sky blue chairs with brown arm rests sat back to back in the middle of the room while six more cushioned chairs sat sparsely against the four tan colored walls. A small flat-screen TV was perched against the wall and a vending machine sat off in the far right corner. I took a seat in one of the chairs that occupied the middle of the room.

  All the nurse told me was to wait and as soon as she heard something she would tell me. I’m surprised she even told me that after the way I’d cursed her and every other person within hearing distance. I was frustrated, angry, and I felt lost because I didn’t know what was going on. It seemed like hours ticked away as minutes trickled by slowly. My leg shook as I irritably rubbed both hands down my face worrying myself trying to figure out just what the hell had happened to Chyanne. A feeling of dread washed over me as the thought of never seeing her again barraged my mind. I hadn’t put in perspective just how much she’d meant to me until that moment. Feelings of guilt paraded through me because I hadn’t been there to protect her and my child.

  A few minutes later April and her son’s came rushing into the waiting area. She looked like she had just thrown on the first particle of clothing she could find and made her way to the hospital. Her hair was not done up like it usually was, she was in sweats and tennis shoes, and she had on no makeup.

  “You hear anything yet?” April asked me as he she carelessly tossed her purse in a chair next to me and rubbed her hands together.

  She and her sons stood surrounding me with fear and worry etched over their faces.

  I shook my head and exhaled. “No, nothing yet. What happened?”

  “You guys go sit over there for a minute,” she said to her sons and she took a chair next to me.

  “Why? I want to know what happened too.” The tall one who looked to be close to my height said. “Chyanne don’t do nothing to nobody. She’s nice to everybody and I wanna know who fucked wit’ her.”

  “Jo-Jo if you don’t watch your damn mouth, I’m going to jump up from here and put my foot in it. Now sit down! I know you’re mad right now, but don’t forget who I am,” she said to him sternly.

  He stood there and stared her down for a few seconds. The muscles in his jaws twitched before he turned away and stormed out of the waiting room. I recognized the anger and resentment behind his eyes. It reminded me of my own whenever I thought of my childhood.

  She turned to the twin boys. “Go get your brother before he ends up sharing a bed with somebody up in here,” she told them.

  “Hey, Aric if you get to see Chyanne tonight tell her we were here a’ight?” one of the twins asked of me. I had no idea if he was Aaron or Aaden.

  I nodded. “I’ll do that.”

  They both nodded and jogged down the hall in the direction their older brother had gone. I watched April as she stood and rubbed her eyes.

  “I don’t know what happened,” she started. “All I know is I get a phone call from Mr. Jerry, he lives across from Chyanne, and he’s telling me that somebody done attacked the girl.”

  “Who attacked her?” I asked her as rage filtered through my body.

  “I don’t know. He said he went to her house to check on her because he heard a lot of screaming and commotion going on. He said he’d found her lying on the floor with a bullet in her and she looked like she had been beat up.”

  I shook my head trying to wrap my mind around all that she was telling me because none of it made sense. We both were quiet for a few seconds and by the way April was looking at me I could tell there was something else she wasn’t saying or something she wanted to say.

  “This doesn’t make much sense. Did somebody try to rob her? Was it a random attack?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. The cops wouldn’t tell me anything.”

  “Damn! I need to know something,” I belted out in frustrated annoyance.

  “Justin told me about your wife attacking Chyanne at the job before.” April said after a moment of silence.

  I furrowed my brows. “So...”

  “Mr. Jerry said some woman was running away from Chyanne’s house right after all of the commotion and the gun shot he heard.”

  The reality of what she was saying was starting to sink in. “Are you asking me if I think my wife did this to Chyanne?”

  Stephanie was a lot of things but I didn’t think she had it in her to shoot any
body.

  “I’m just saying Aric. She attacked her once.”

  “Yeah, it was a physical fight. Stephanie isn’t stupid enough to shoot anyone, especially not Chyanne.”

  I stood up, too annoyed to continue to sit. Stephanie didn’t even own a gun. She detested the things. I’d known she’d been acting crazy as of late, but I refused to drape my mind around the possibility that she would have gone to Chyanne’s to shoot her.

  “How do you know?” April asked with way more attitude in her voice than necessary. “If you’re running around here cheating on this woman and she showed up out of the blue and attacked Chyanne before, how in the hell do you know what she did and what she didn’t do?”

  “You need to mind your own fucking business. Don’t try and act like you have Chyanne’s best interest at heart right now—”

  “I know I’ve done some fucked up shit to Chyanne, and I know I’ve been a horrible friend,” she said as her posture went rigid with defense. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t and don’t care about her well being. She didn’t deserve to be attacked and gunned down in her own home because you can’t keep your shit in order!”

  “That’s comical. You’re coming at me like I had something to do with it.” My voice had escalated enough for people passing in the hall to stop and look at us.

  She sighed and exhaled with a look that insinuated I was trying her patience. “Does your wife drive a red Mercedes Aric?”

  Panic and alarm gripped me. “What?”

  “Does your wife drive a red Mercedes?” she asked again. This time with more force behind her question as she walked closer to me. “Because if she does Mr. Jerry said that was the kind of car he saw leaving Chyanne’s house. That’s the car the woman was in. So if your wife doesn’t drive that color or kind of car you have nothing to worry about.”

  I didn’t answer right away. I couldn’t. What she’d said slammed into me like a head on collision. I closed my eyes and bit down on my lip to smother the curses that threatened to escape my mouth. I should have known that if Stephanie was stupid enough to attack Chyanne once then she would do it again! I said a silent prayer that I was wrong but how else could it be explained that a red Mercedes was seen leaving Chyanne’s home right after she was shot? I didn’t even know Stephanie owned a gun, if she owned a gun. I fought with the decision of leaving the hospital to go and confront Stephanie, or staying and waiting for news on Chyanne and the baby. My conscience was fighting with my heart and, at that moment, neither was winning.

  Five hours later after the doctors had told me the fate of Chyanne and my son, I sat beside her bed side with her hand in mine.

  “You okay,” Gabe asked me as he got ready to leave the room.

  I nodded my head without looking up at him.

  “Call me if you need me. I have to go and pick up dad from the airport,” he said.

  He’d come to the hospital after I’d called him to tell him what was going on. His voice was low as if he didn’t want to disturb Chyanne.

  They’d put her into a medically induced coma because her injuries were so life threatening and the fact that when she got to the hospital she was already crowning. While fighting for her own life, she went through natural birth to fight for her son’s life as well which is why they put her to sleep. She had two broken ribs, one having punctured her lung, and she had a gunshot wound to the shoulder. It had penetrated deep, ricocheted off of her collar bone, and stopped inches from her heart. She’d been lucky.

  Now I sat beside her with my right arm in a sling. Pain caused me to flinch with a headache so bad it hurt to keep my eyes open, but I’d refused to move once I was seated next to her bed side.

  Five hours ago, after April told me about Chyanne’s old neighbor seeing a red Mercedes at Chyanne’s house, against my better judgment I rushed out of the hospital telling April to call me as soon as the doctors let her know anything. I’d rushed home, needing to know if my wife had actually done what I was suspecting she had done. See, I was beating myself up, kicking my own ass for the games I’d been playing recently.

  Making the drive to home gave me time to think and for some reason anxiety took a strange hold of me. Over the past couple of months since finding out I was going to be a father a lot of my perspectives had changed. I realized that for the longest time I had been a shell of the man that I used to be. I mean, I’d been happy, at least I thought I’d been, but just thinking back over everything, the last few years to be exact, I wasn’t the same man I once was. Stephanie had been right in her assessment a while back.

  I’d always been the smooth talking business man, but I was trying to figure out when I’d become the man who just didn’t give a fuck anymore. When had I become the man who didn’t love and cherish his wife and when had I become the man who would lead a woman on just to satisfy my own selfish needs and wants? I guess that my love for Stephanie had hardened me. There’s a thin line between love and hate they say and I think it was safe to say that all the love I’d had for Stephanie had turned to hate. I was finally able to admit that; finally able to admit that I’d been doing to my wife what she’d done to me in an effort to inflict the pain on her that she’d inflicted on me. As a kid all I’d ever really wanted was for my mother to love me enough to not hurt me. I think she’d loved my father more though and it showed when her love for him turned into her hate for me. People say I looked, walked, talked, and acted just like the man who was my father. Maybe that’s why my mother hated me so.

  When Stephanie walked into my life, I’d finally found the love that I’d wanted from a woman. The first couple of years with Stephanie had been the best times of my life because I thought, at the time, that she had loved me unconditionally. I found out the hard way that her love was limited. So once again I found myself on the receiving end of a woman’s wrath and once again I was left to try and figure out why. Nobody else had the power to hurt me the way Stephanie and my mother had. Chyanne being there the way she’d been gave me the balance needed in my life and now that she was blessing me with a child it had me thinking about just what the hell was going on in my life.

  It was almost dark as I pulled into the cul-de-sac. For the first time parking inside of the garage didn’t matter to me. Not seeing Stephanie’s car in the garage, I called out to her when I walked into the house and got no answer. I laid my keys on the island in the kitchen and followed the music I’d heard out back to the pool. Stephanie was lying by the pool and I didn’t know what to feel as I watched her slowly turn and looked at me.

  She looked up and smiled when she saw me. “Hey honey,” she crooned.

  Even though she was wearing dark sun glasses I could tell her smile didn’t reach her eyes. It was a forced smile, one mixed with condescension that overlapped a sneer.

  “Took you this long to get in from work?” She asked. “I’ve been calling you . . .”

  I slowly approached her, rubbing my hand down my face as I did. I found myself getting angry at the notion that she’d attacked Chyanne. To keep myself sane and to keep from wrapping my hands around her throat, I chose my words carefully.

  “I just came from the hospital,” I told her.

  My words came out slow and precise. She looked up at me. I couldn’t see her eyes behind her sunglasses but I’m sure they were in slits. For a second she opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something and then she closed her mouth and continued to silently stare at me.

  “Who’s in the hospital? Are you hurt? You okay?” She asked as she stood.

  When she walked over to me as if she was really concerned and tried to touch my face I slapped her hand away. She stepped back into a defensive posture and dropped both hands to her side. Rage was tearing me up on the inside eating away at my resolve.

  “Were you at Chyanne’s house today?”

  She struggled for breath before asking, “What?”

  “Were you at Chyanne’s house today, Stephanie, and don’t lie to me.”

  Standing mute fo
r a second, she turned and walked back toward the lounge chair she had been resting in before. She was in a white tunic that covered a red bathing suit with red stiletto heels, and a big floppy red straw hat. I got tired of playing ring around the roses with her and quickly snatched her by her forearm to bring her attention back to me. She squealed and tensed up and like a scalded cat baring her teeth at me.

  “Let me go Aric!”

  “Were you at her house today?” I yelled in her face.

  With the heels on she stood face to face with me, but with the pressure I had her arm grasped in she was limp and that forced me to look down at her.

  “Yes,” she yelled. “Now will you please let me go?”

  “Why were you at her house?”

  “I just figured it was time to hear her side of the story. You never tell the whole truth so I wanted to hear it from her. You know, you have her eating right out the palm of your hand. She’s so in love with you she can’t see past that fake ass smile of yours. You should be ashamed of your damned self playing with women’s feelings the way you do.”

  I shoved her down into the lounge chair gripping her neck as she fell back. I could see her eyes widen behind her glasses because of the pressure I was inserting into the choke hold. The anger that resided in me was so strong that my eyes burned in frustration. The thought of the possibility that my wife had indeed attacked Chyanne and in turn attacked my child gave me murderous intent.

  “Aric,” she managed to get out barely above an audible whisper.

  “Did you shoot her?” I asked her through clenched teeth.

  “Aric. . . . please let go . . .”

  “Did you?”

  I was so close to her face that my lips brushed her nose when I yelled the question in her face.