by Mercy Amare
When I get to Olivia’s small bedroom, she’s asleep, and for a split second I think maybe I should let her sleep. But I then I think of Ariana… Every second that I waste is another second she’s closer to death. Nobody else needs to die. This monster needs to be put behind bars.
“Wake up,” I say, shaking her. I flip on the lamp beside her bed.
Olivia jumps and looks up at me.
“Why are you here?” she asks, sleep in her voice.
“Somebody stole Lily’s journal,” I tell her.
At my words, she sits up. Her eyes are wide with panic. “Stole it?”
I tell her the whole story. About what I read in the journal, and about how Gabe lied to me about knowing Lily got notes just like mine. And then I told her Gabe texted me to talk and while I was talking to him the journal was stolen.
“Do you think Gabe took it?” she asks.
“No. He was with me. There was no way he could have. It had to have been somebody else,” I say.
“Somebody who knew he was coming. Oh my gosh, Kihanna. He was the distraction. The answer was there, and your stalker knew you were close to an answer,” she says. “You need to go to Gabe’s house and confront him. Right now. But not without my brother. You can’t go alone.”
“I can’t call Brian. He has missed enough sleep because of me. He has school tomorrow.”
“He will miss. This is important.” Before I can protest, she pulls out her phone and starts calling him. Brian is a light sleeper, so he answers right away. Olivia tells him a little bit of our conversation, and then I hear him say he’s on his way before Olivia pulls the phone away from her face.
“You didn’t need to do that,” I say.
“I know. But you’re not doing this alone. Now I’m getting dressed,” she says, getting up. “Together we are going to figure this out. It’s time for you to get your life back. And it’s time for Lily to finally avenge the people who made her life miserable before she died.”
“So you really didn’t read it before you gave it to me?”
“No. I wish I wouldn’t have been such a coward. I should have read it… And I should have given it to you a long time ago. I’m such a coward,” she says.
“There’s something I didn’t tell you… About my conversation with Gabe…”
She stops me. “Wait until Brian is here. He will want to hear this.”
I put my shaking hands into the pockets of my hoodie. I am so close to an answer, I can literally taste it. I thought this would feel so much better than it does… But right now, all I feel is fear. What if finding out hurts worse than not knowing? What if the stalker is somebody I trust? Gabe’s betrayal was enough. I don’t think I could handle it if anybody else I cared about has betrayed me so deeply.
My heart is broken.
1am
What now?
Gabe isn’t home. He isn’t freaking home! I let out a frustrated scream. Of course he’s gone.
I pull out my phone to call him, it goes straight to voicemail.
“Where could he be?” I ask Olivia.
She shrugs. “How should I know? You’re the one who dated him. Not me.”
“I didn’t date him long enough to really know this kind of stuff,” I say, realizing just how much there is I don’t know about Gabe. After a month of dating, I hardly knew him at all. Our relationship was very physical.
“What did you do when you hung out?” Olivia asks, then laughs. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
I feel my face grow warm, and I look over at Brian who has stayed quiet.
“The relationship was obviously one big lie,” I say. “I knew he was a liar, but I didn’t realize just how big of a liar he was… I mean, for all I know he is my stalker.”
“Why would he cut the brakes on his own car?” Olivia shakes her head. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“Maybe he did it so he wouldn’t look guilty.” Brian speaks up. “I’ve always felt uneasy about Gabe Johnson. Not because he’s Kihanna’s ex, but before she even moved here… I didn’t like the way he treated Lily.”
“Me either,” Olivia agrees. “He was absolutely horrible to her. I think before she was died she was scared of him.”
I hit my fist against the steering wheel, and feel my heart literally breaking in my chest. I trusted Gabe. I gave him everything. And all along, he knew who was doing this to me. Even if it wasn’t him, he knows, and he won’t tell me. He allowed me to be tortured, threatened, and nearly killed. All the promises to keep me safe… all lies.
And idea hits me, so I start the car and take off.
“Where are we going?” Brian asks.
“To track a cell phone,” I answer. “Toby and Gabe have been trying to track down my stalker, so Toby has learned a few things about tracking. I figure he will be able to help us find Gabe. I want that journal back. And I want answers.”
I honestly never should have let him leave earlier. I should have held him down if I had to. I need answers… I just felt so betrayed, I couldn’t stand to look at him.
I am so stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
“I think that Lily knew the letters were from Gabe… from the beginning,” I say. “I don’t think she wanted to admit it to herself… But in her journal she would write stuff about Gabe and then mark it out. She didn’t want to believe it. Neither do I. He’s so… nice. He’s so good at faking and pretending, it is hard to imagine him being capable of something like this.”
“I wish I would have read her journal,” Olivia says. “If I were a good friend, I would have. I just couldn’t bring myself to.”
“It’s not your fault. I don’t think I would want to know if the last few months of my best friend’s life were spent… scared.” My voice breaks. What if these are the last few months of my life? What if Gabe kills me too?
“I won’t let Gabe hurt you,” Brians says firmly, grabbing my right hand. I keep the left on the steering wheel. “Even if I have to eliminate the threat myself… I will not let him… I… can’t… let him…” his voice cuts off.
A silence falls over the car, and I’m pretty sure we are all thinking the same thing… What now?
Finally, I pull the car up to Veronica and Toby’s condo. Brian and Olivia wait in the car for me.
There is a knot in the pit of my stomach as I make my way to the door. I use my key to unlock it, and am quiet so I don’t wake up Veronica. Once inside, I go to Toby’s room, and let myself in. He’s asleep, so I shake him. He stirs and sits up suddenly. He rubs his eyes as he looks at me.
“Kihanna…” he says in a sleepy voice. “What are you doing here?”
“I need your help,” I say, and then I lose it. I start crying.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, putting his hand on my arm.
“It’s Gabe… He’s… I think he’s… he’s my stalker.”
“Gabe as in Gabriel Johnson?”
I nod.
Toby puts his hands over his face and rubs it for a few seconds. When he pulls his hands away, they are clinched into a fist.
“I am going to kill him,” he says through clinched teeth.
“I need your help finding him. He’s not home, and we need to track his phone or something.”
“Okay,” he says. “I’m naked, so unless you want to see my manhood, you should turn around.”
I roll my eyes but look the other way. I know Toby isn’t bluffing. He would definitely stand up naked in front of me. He isn’t shy.
“So what makes you think that… Gabe… is your stalker?” he asks.
With my eyes staring at his wall, I answer. “A few days ago, Olivia gave me Lily’s journal. Lily was getting notes from somebody too, and she thought it was Gabe. I only got to read a few entries. But when I asked Gabe about it, he lied. He said he knew nothing about it…” I pause to take a deep, shaky breath. “Tonight he sent me a text and told me that we needed to talk. I planned to confront him about the lies… And he confessed that he’s known who my stalker
is this whole time. He’s known, and he’s kept it from me.”
“You can look now,” Toby says.
I turn around as he slips a shirt over his head.
“Wait, so Gabe just told you that he knows who it is?”
“Yes.”
“But he wouldn’t say who?”
“No.”
“And what made you come to the conclusion that your stalker is Gabe?” he asks.
“Well, I’m not finished with my story yet,” I say. “When I came back to my room after talking with Gabe, the journal was gone. Somebody took it. And so I went to Olivia’s house. I hoped that she had read what it said, but she didn’t. So we decided to confront Gabe, and he’s not home. His phone is turned off. And I just… I don’t know that he’s my stalker, but I just have this feeling that he is.”
“We need to go to your dad’s office,” Toby says. “I am not smart enough to do it with my computer… Gabe… he was the one who knew how to do all that… But we can track him from Staying Connected. We can see where his phone was last turned on.”
I nod. “Okay. Let’s do it.”
3am
Gabe Johnson?
When we get to Dad’s office, he’s still there. Which doesn’t surprise me at all.
“Why is he still here at three in the morning?” Toby asks me.
“He’s always here,” I answer, as the four of us make our way to the door.
Toby uses his key to unlock the door, and as we make our way inside Dad looks up. He looks panicked when he sees us.
“What’s wrong?” he asks. “Is Veronica okay? The baby?”
“Everything is fine,” I say, then shake my head. “Well, Veronica is fine… But we just need to use your computer.”
Dad looks at us funny, but he gets up. Toby takes a seat behind his desk, and starts clicking.
“Hey, you’re not supposed to do that,” Dad says.
“It’s important,” I tell him. “We have to find Gabe… Like now.”
“And you realize what you’re doing is illegal. And we could go to jail for a very long time. You can just track somebody…”
“I know,” I say, cutting him off. “But this is life and death.”
Dad looks at me, and for the first time he sees the panic on my face. “What is wrong, Kihanna?”
I open my mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. How can I tell my dad what’s going on? How can I tell him that my ex-boyfriend is the one stalking me?
Toby answers for me. “Basically, Gabe is stalking Kihanna… Or at least he knows who is stalking her, and he has from the beginning. And now we need to know where he is, because he has the answers that we need.”
Dad looks from my face to Toby’s. “Gabe Johnson?”
“Yeah,” Toby and I both say at the same time.
“But I thought he was helping you…” Dad shakes his head. “He was dating you while this was going on… And why would he cut his own brake lines?”
“That’s why we need to find him,” Toby answers.
“Shouldn’t you be calling the police? I need to call Jack…”
“No,” I say. “Please. Just… let me talk to Gabe first. I need some answers… answers that only he can give me.”
“I don’t know, Kihanna. If Gabe really is your stalker, he’s dangerous. He’s killed people,” Dad says. “I still can’t wrap my head around this… Are you absolutely certain that it’s Gabe?”
“No,” I answer. “All I know is that he does know who my stalker is. He’s always known. And if it’s not him, he’s been covering for whoever it is. I need to know why, Dad. I trusted Gabe… I…”
At one point I gave him my heart.
I gave him my everything.
My hands are shaking, and Brian grabs my hand. “Dad, please. Just let me do this.”
Dad looks at Toby and then at Brian. “The both of you will be there with her?”
“I will. And I promise I won’t let anything happen to her,” Brian says.
“Ditto,” Toby says, and then takes a picture of the computer screen with his phone. “I’ve got it. Let’s go.”
We all start walking to the door.
“Be careful,” I hear my dad say.
“I will,” I tell him from the doorway.
“I love you.” I’m shocked to hear him say it, because he hasn’t said it in a long time.
“I love you too.”
5am
He’s a monster.
The address is about forty-five minutes out of town. And I’m not really sure what to expect once we get there. I wonder if Gabe will still be there? Or maybe this is all one big set up. A million thoughts run through my head, but they’re all jumbled and I’m mostly feeling disbelief.
When we get to the address, I am shocked to see that it’s an abandoned warehouse. On the outside, graffiti covers the building. I start to run toward the building, but Brian holds me back.
“We go in together,” he says, grabbing my hand.
Toby is the first to head inside, followed by Olivia, me, and Brian.
Inside, it is completely empty. Except for one thing in the middle. It’s Ariana, tied to a chair. There is duct-tape over her mouth, and her eyes are shut. When she hears the door shut behind us, she jerks awake. The four of us run over to her. I take the duct-tape off as Brian leans down to undo the ties.
“On my lap,” Ariana says.
I look on her lap, there is a note.
Kihanna Evers — stop looking. Whatever you think you know is a lie. I own you. That’s all you need to know. And until I’m ready to tell you who I am, you will never know.
“Who did this to you?” Olivia asks her.
Ariana shakes her head, and tears fall down her face. “I can’t…” she looks at me. “They said they would kill you if I said anything. Kihanna, I can’t tell you. I’m sorry. They are monsters.”
“Was it Gabe?” I ask.
“No,” she answers quietly. “But please don’t ask me anymore. I can’t tell you.”
I should feel relief at her words. She says it’s not Gabe. But how else would his cell phone lead us here? He knows. He is somehow involved in this. Even if he’s not the one stalking me, he is just as guilty as the one who is.
My phone rings, and Gabe’s name pops up on the caller ID.
I show everybody my phone, and then answer it.
“Gabe…” My voice comes out frantic.
“Where are you?” he asks.
“Looking for you,” I tell him. “We found Ariana, Gabe.”
“I know,” he says. “You need to get out of there. It’s all a set up.”
“What are you talking about?” As the words leave my mouth, I hear an explosion from outside. I run towards the door, and watch as my dad’s SUV burns. I stifle a scream.
“Are you okay?” Gabe asks.
“Who did this? That could have killed us, Gabe… You have to tell me.”
“I can’t,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
I scream at my phone. “If you don’t tell me, you’re just as guilty as the one who is doing this.”
“I know. And I hate myself for it, but I can’t, because you’re right. I am just as guilty as them,” he says, and then pauses. “I’ve said too much now. I have to go, Kihanna… But just… be careful… The closer you get to the truth, the more dangerous it will become… But if you want to know, you need to dig deeper into the past.”
“I tried! Somebody took Lily’s journal!”
“Goodbye, Kihanna.”
My phone beeps to let me know the call has ended, and I let out a frustrated scream. I hear sirens in the distance, and I know the cops are coming to see what the explosion was. I run my fingers through my hair.
This day couldn’t get any worse.
3pm
Baggage.
I spend most of my day at the police station — answering questions, being interrogated… By now, I know the drill. I’m very used to it. I hate that I’m used to it.
&nb
sp; Ariana, true to her word, doesn’t say who kidnapped her. She tells the police that she never got a look at him, because he had a ski mask on. It’s a lie, I know it. I just wish that she’d tell.
They said they would kill you if I said anything… Ariana’s words ring through my head, over and over.
Maybe I will never have a happy life. Maybe they’ll never find my stalker… And they will kill anybody who gets close to me. I can never have friends or even children… I’ll be all alone. Forever.
After leaving the police station, Olivia, Brian, and I go to their mom’s house. Susan had to come pick us up from the police station. The whole way to their house, I think about Gabe. How much I trusted him… At one point, I thought I was in love with Gabe. I slept with him. I gave him my virginity… And now, all I can think is that I want it back. I gave it to somebody who manipulated me, lied to me, and took advantage of me. He was never in love with me.
“Are you okay?” Brian asks me.
He and I are sitting in the backseat, and he has my hand in his. I look up to see him looking at me with concern.
“No,” I answer. “I have got to be the stupidest person alive… I have so much… regret.”
“You shouldn’t regret anything,” he says.
“I can’t believe I dated him.”
Brian laughs. “I kind of can’t believe you did either, but we all have relationships we regret.”
Olivia snorts from the front seat. “Remember Karen?” She turns towards me. “She liked to be called Kitty. She was so weird.”
“She was nice,” Brian defends himself.
“She also had big boobs.”
“I was sixteen. Let’s just forget that ever happened,” he says. “Besides, we dated less than a week. And my taste has obviously improved since then.”
“I’m glad Kihanna was the first girl you brought to meet me,” Susan says. “I hope she’s the last.”