by Mercy Amare
Her words shock me. “I think if my son was dating somebody with a crazy stalker, I wouldn’t be happy with her.”
“It’s not your fault that this is happening to you,” she says. “And besides, this is just a temporary problem. This person isn’t going to be able to hide much longer. They’re going to leave behind evidence, and the cops are going to catch them.”
I don’t remind her of the number of people who have died because of me. I don’t remind her that hanging out with me is a very dangerous thing to do. She knows. And more importantly, she knows that I can’t handle it alone. She knows that I need the support. And she doesn’t just worry about Brian and Olivia… She worries about me too.
“I can’t believe my dad’s SUV got blown up,” I say randomly. “The white one was his favorite.”
“At least we weren’t in the car when it happened,” Olivia says.
“The weird thing is, I’m always one step ahead of the danger. I always make it out okay. It’s almost like he wants to scare me, but not really harm me.”
“So you think the person cares about you? That seems morbid…” Olivia’s voice trails off. “My money is still on Gabe. What he said doesn’t clear his name. And it doesn’t explain why we traced his phone to Ariana’s exact location.”
I sigh. “I can’t imagine anybody being that crazy… Certainly there would be signs, right? How am I completely missing all the clues?”
“It’s because you’re too nice,” Susan says. “You only see the good in people.”
“I’m not that nice,” I reply. “I definitely think I could be nicer. If I would have, maybe Kasbian would have talked to me a long time ago… I was so rude to him. I think if I would’ve taken the time to say hello to him in class, maybe he would’ve talked to me a long time ago, and a lot of lives could have been spared.”
“You can’t blame yourself for any of this,” Brian says. “If you do, life will get you down quick. You have to know that none of this is your fault. You’re innocent, just like Kasbian… and Keith… You didn’t ask for this.”
“I know.” My voice comes out quiet. “It still doesn’t stop the guilt that I feel when I think about it. Would this be happening if I would’ve stayed in St. Louis? If my mom never would have died… If I had never met my dad…”
“But then you wouldn’t know me,” he says.
“I can’t imagine not knowing you. If it weren’t for you and Olivia, I would be spending a lot of time alone…”
I remember how it was when I very first moved here, before I made friends. I pretty much spent my days reading, playing on the internet, or hanging out with Nicholas… Thinking about him makes my chest hurt. I miss him. He was so much more than a butler… he was my first friend.
It’s crazy how fast things changed for me in less than a year. When I came here in July, I had no clue what it was going to be like… Though I never would’ve guessed in a million years that I would have a stalker. Of course I also didn’t think I would find a boyfriend… And I’ve had three… Even though I don’t want to count Gabe anymore. I wish more than anything I could have all the time we spent together back. I wish I could have every kiss, every touch… I wish I could delete every feeling I ever had for him.
I feel so stupid.
“I love you,” Brian whispers in my ear, and then kisses my cheek.
It’s then I realize, no matter how intense I thought my feelings for Gabe were, they can’t even hold a candle to the feelings I have when I am with Brian. I will have no regrets with him… I just wish that I could still give him everything. I wish I hadn’t wasted my virginity on Gabe. I should have thought it through, and I definitely shouldn’t have rushed into it. If we wouldn’t have had sex, I don’t think we would’ve dated. The feelings with him were strictly lust.
Love feels a lot different than lust. It’s more than just on a physical level… though I definitely do feel it on a physical level with Brian. He’s hot. And I’ve never wanted to be with somebody so bad… But it’s emotional too… And whenever we take the next step in our relationship, I won’t have any regrets. It will be completely out of love. And I won’t feel bad about it when I wake up the next day.
“I love you too,” I say back to him. And I mean it. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach… The feeling is so strong, that sometimes I wonder how it’s possibly to feel like this. I love him so much that it hurts. I could search for a million years, and never find another love like this.
He takes my hand in his, and smiles. I know that he can feel this too. I don’t worry about Brian breaking my heart, because it would break his too.
I remember when I was little, I used to ask my mom how you would know when you found “the one”. She always told me, “You will just know,” and it’s true. With Gabe, I wanted him to be the one, but I always had so many doubts. We were so off and on. And with Ty, I always knew that we weren’t meant to be. I don’t even know why I dated him… Maybe because he was the first guy who had ever asked me out. Part of me thought no other guy who ever ask me out… Thank God I was wrong.
Thank God I found Brian.
When we get to Olivia’s house, Olivia and Susan go inside. Brian and I sit on the concrete steps leading up to the house. He puts his arms around me, and I put my head against his chest.
“Brian, I’m scared,” I tell him.
“I know,” he says. “But you shouldn’t be. I’m here. And I’m going to do everything I can to protect you.”
“But what if I can’t protect you?” My voice breaks, and I try to hold in the tears. I don’t want to cry right now. I’ve cried enough already. “I just can’t… lose you… I love you too much to lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he promises. “I’m here now, and that’s what matters.”
Brian squeezes me gently around my waist and kisses the top of my head.
“What do you think our kids will look like?” he asks.
“Are you trying to distract me?”
“Yes.”
I take a deep breath. “Our children will be beautiful. How could they not with you as their father?”
“How could they not with you as their mother,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “I often think about our future. Sometimes I wish you were older so I could marry you now. I want to make this officially a forever thing.”
“Four more days until I can legally marry you,” I joke.
“Too long,” he says. “I want to marry you today. Right now.”
“You’re only twenty-one. That’s awfully young to get married. What happens if you realize I’m not the one for you?” I ask him.
“That wouldn’t happen. Ever… Besides, I’m pretty sure my family would disown me and adopt you if we ever broke up.”
I roll my eyes, but can’t help but smile. “Whatever. Your family adores you. I’m so envious of how close all of you guys are. I see your family more than I see mine.”
“It’s a good thing they love you so much.”
“I was wondering something…” I say. “I know that you dated girls before me… Why did you never bring anybody else to meet your family? And better yet, why did you bring me so soon?”
“I never brought anybody else, because it was pointless. I knew they weren’t going to be around very long. But with you, I knew from the moment I met you that you were special,” he says. “After just one conversation with you, I didn’t have any doubts. I knew that as long as you never got tired of me that you were my forever girl.”
“Do you think you would’ve talked to me if you would have known how much emotional baggage I was going to bring into our relationship?” I ask him.
He laughs. “You’re very much worth it.”
I pull my head off his chest, and push my lips firmly against his.
“Very, very worth it,” he says against my lips.
Saturday, April 14
9am
It’s so obvious.
Sometime Friday afternoon,
I fell asleep in Olivia’s bed, and somehow I manage to sleep though the night. I wake up with arms around me, but unfortunately they don’t belong to Brian.
I shove Olivia’s arm away, and she groans.
“It’s been a while since I had somebody to cuddle with,” she says in a sleepy voice.
“Stay on your side.”
“The bed is mine. The whole thing is my side.”
I roll my eyes, and sit up. When I do, I see Brian is standing in the doorway with an amused look on his face.
“How long have you been standing there?” I ask him.
“Creepy, dude,” Olivia tells him. “Despite what you learned in Twilight, not every girl thinks it’s cute when a guy watches her when she’s sleeping.”
Brian pushes himself off the doorframe and walks inside. “I just got here,” he says, and then looks at me. “You’re really cute in the morning.”
I reach up to my hair. Currently my messy bun is half way down my face, and frizzy hair is sticking up. I’m pretty much mortified right now, but from the way Brian is smiling I can tell he means it when he calls me cute.
Why can’t I be one of those girls who goes to bed and wakes up with perfect hair? Wait… do those even exist? Probably not.
“Reynaldo dropped you off a bag earlier,” he says, putting a duffle bag onto the bed. “Melissa opened the door, and she about had a heart attack at the sight of him.”
I laugh. “He tends to have that affect on people.”
Olivia shudders beside me. “Dude, it’s so hard to go to sleep when I stay at your house because of him. He is freaky.”
My phone vibrates with a text message. I look and see that I have about twenty messages, all from Toby. Mostly him wondering how I am. He’s worried. Things have changed, and I’m not sure who I can trust anymore, but it’s nice to know that Toby is always there for me. I send him a text back.
Me: I’ll be okay. Eventually.
My chest hurts as I think of the week that I’ve had. All trust that I once had in Gabe is now shattered, and I don’t even know what to do, think, or even feel. All I know is that I regret every moment I spent with Gabe, and there is nothing that I can do about that.
I want answers. No. I need answers. And finding out that Gabe knows everything makes me feel even more confused than ever. Who does Gabe care about enough to want them to get away with murder?
The first person that comes to mind is Ty, because that’s his only friend, but he doesn’t seem to care that much for Ty. Plus, Gabe let Ty help us when we were trying to figure out who my stalker is. I’m pretty sure that Gabe wouldn’t let him if Ty really were him.
But what if Ty is?
Ty dated Lily too.
Lily got the same notes as me.
The only other person connected to this is Ty.
“Ty Newman,” I finally say out loud.
Brian and Olivia both look at me for a minute, wondering why I just randomly said his name.
“Ty is connected to all this. Gabe and him are best friends. And he dated Lily too,” I say. “What if Gabe is covering for Ty?”
“And what if Gabe is covering for Gabe?” Olivia asks.
“I’m serious. I think that it could be Ty Newman. Why else did I get a note saying to go to his house?”
“If Ty was your stalker, why would he leave you a note asking you to come over?” Brian asks.
“Unless it wasn’t Ty. What if Kasbian left the note? Or somebody else? Because they know that Ty is my stalker… And when I went over there, he was acting pretty shady. What if he was hiding something? Or someone?” I stand up from the bed, and start pacing. “Oh my God, it’s so obvious. Ty’s mom had an affair with my dad. After that Ty’s mom was killed. Maybe he somehow thinks it’s my dad’s fault that she was killed, and because of it he’s getting revenge on me.”
“That’s a good thought and all, but what would be the motive behind Lily?” Olivia asks. “She was new. She didn’t know anybody here. Why would Ty stalk her?”
“I don’t know,” I say, trying to think of something that would connect them. “If he’s crazy, does he really need a legit reason?”
“Let’s say that Ty is your stalker,” Brian says. “What are you going to do about it?”
Good question. “I don’t know yet.”
“So just calm down and really think about this.” He takes a seat at the end of the bed. “This is a really big deal, and you need solid evidence. You can’t just accuse him of something unless you know.”
I nod. “Okay. We can do this. We’ve just… got to find evidence.”
Evidence that the police can’t find.
Yeah, this shouldn’t be hard at all.
1pm
I will never have privacy again.
On Saturday afternoon, my dad asks me to come home. I am anxious to talk more to Ty and get to the bottom of what’s happening, and I’m kind of disappointed to go home. I’m also curious why he’s asking me to come home. He’s pretty much always at work these days, and seeing him outside of the office is rare.
When Brian and I get to the house, I see that Veronica’s car is parked in the drive, which makes me excited. I haven’t seen her since our last Sunday brunch… But when I think of brunch, I think of Gabe and how fake he’s been with me.
I’m sick of deceit.
I’m sick of lies.
All I want is to be happy. I want a family. I want friends. I want to feel safe.
While most teenage girls are worried about how their hair looks, and who they will be going with to prom, I worry about being kidnapped and all of my family being murdered. Prom is absolutely the last thing on my mind.
When Brian and I get inside, the detective working on my case is sitting in the living room with Dad, Veronica, and Toby. My heart races, because I know he’s here for a reason. I’m hopeful that it’s a good reason.
“Miss Evers, have a seat,” the detective says.
I look at Dad, who is obviously stressed. I take a seat beside him, and Brian sits beside me.
“I’ll get right to the point,” the detective says. “It’s not safe for you right now. The threats have consistently gotten worse, and the number of people dying is… to be honest… a bit alarming. Until it is safe, I think it’s best if you stayed in your home for a while.”
“What about school?” I ask.
“You will have to do all of your school work from home.”
“And my friends?”
“Your friends can come and go as they please, but they will all be closely monitored,” he says. “We want to find out who this person is, and we want to keep those around you safe.”
“Toby and I are moving back in,” Veronica tells me. “You won’t be here alone.”
Veronica and Toby are moving back in.
And I’m being kept prisoner in my own home.
But we’re going to be a family again!
“Toby will be kept home from school as well, so you won’t be here alone,” Dad tells me. “And we are hiring more security guards. They will make sure you stay safe… and inside.”
He says security guards, but for some reason I hear prison guards instead.
“Ugh,” I groan. “Seriously?”
Brian puts his arm around me. “This is a good thing. I want you to be safe, and now you will.”
“How am I supposed to figure out who my stalker is if I’m locked up?” I ask.
“You’re not,” the detective answers. “It’s my job to figure it out, and I’m confident that every day we get a little closer to solving this mystery.”
“You should question Gabriel Johnson,” Toby tells him. “Gabe claims to know who the stalker is, and he led us right to Ariana.”
“Why didn’t you tell us sooner? Like when we questioned you at the police station?” he asks.
“Because Kihanna thinks she can figure everything out on her own,” Toby says, looking at me. “Not anymore. I’m going to try my hardest to keep her from doing anything s
tupid and/or life threatening.”
“Good luck with that,” Brian says.
I stand up from the couch. “Am I the only one who understands what’s going on here? I am going to be kept prisoner. How is this fair?”
“Miss Evers, if I may be frank, this house is nice. I doubt you will grow bored here, and your friends can come over to visit anytime they want. It could be a lot worse. Besides, this is just a safety precaution… If I were you, I’d be a lot more concerned about your safety,” he says. “I’ve seen a lot of young girls kidnapped, dead, or worse. You don’t want to play games. This is a very serious situation. It’s not a game. Not anymore.”
I nod my head, because I know. More than anybody, I do. And if this is what it takes to keep me and everybody I love safe, I will do it.
“Okay,” I say.
For the next several hours, the detective goes over safety procedures with me. Once the security guards arrive, I freak out slightly. I learn that a rather large guy named Cole is going to be following me around during the day, and a guy equally as large named Zack will be here all night. Both of them will be living in the house. I’m relieved and terrified at the same time.
I also learn that Veronica and Dad will be sleeping in separate rooms at opposite ends of the house. Dad is in their room on the third floor, and Veronica is in a bedroom on the first floor. But Toby moves into his old room, right down the hall from mine.
As selfish as it is to say, I’m glad Toby is under house arrest too. Being here alone would just suck. Having him around will make things bearable.
Something the detective says catches my attention.
“Whoa,” I say. “What do you mean tracking all activity on my computer and cell phone?”
“You get texts and messages from this person, correct?” he asks.
“Yeah…”
“Well, we are going to track all your messages. More importantly we are going to track where they are coming from.”
Oh my God.
I will never have privacy again.
“So basically, you’re saying my every move is going to be monitored…” I am trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice, but I’m not doing a good job.