Pieces of You

by Marie, Lisa

  Moments later, Tim pulls up in his truck alongside me as I walk. His windows are rolled down. “Let me drive you.”

  I offer him the same look he offered me when we were in the house. Boredom and distaste. He stops the truck, and I climb inside without speaking to him.

  “Look. I was worried about you. I didn’t think it would be that bad to crash at my house for a day or two, and quite frankly, I wasn’t expecting any house guests, so my home probably did smell a little funky and my sofa did have crumbs all over it. But you need to stop acting like a damn princess and stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

  He turns the corner that takes us to the street I live on, and I turn to glare at him. “Feeling sorry for myself? What the hell are you talking about?”

  He stays silent for the couple moments it takes to get to my driveway. Throwing his truck into park, he shifts his body and drapes his right arm over the back of the seat.

  “I get it. I’m not a complete ass. I get that you lost Mel. I get that you were in a horrific accident. I get that you didn’t get closure because her parents were dicks. But what I don’t get is almost two damn years later, and you still mope over the love you lost. You can’t move on because no one is Mel, or Mel wouldn’t approve or some nonsense like that.”

  “You really think that?” It’s starting to anger me. “You really think I was moping around for Mel? I wasn’t moping. I’m not a freakin teenage girl.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but for the past almost two years, you have been a teenage girl, and I’m done. SO many of us are done, but everyone is afraid to say something because you might snap. We’re afraid that you didn’t get the proper help you needed to move on with your life, that maybe just maybe we will lose you too.”

  It’s like a slap in the face. It stings coming from Tim.

  I open the truck door and slide out, slamming it behind me as I storm away. For once today I am not thinking about my throbbing head. Or Mel, or Riley, or Trina. I’m not feeling bad for myself. Instead, I feel anger. So much anger and resentment for my friend. Pushing the door open at my house, I stalk inside and straight into the bathroom to wash my face.

  Turning on the taps, I splash warm water on my face and rub my eyes trying to remove the cobwebs from my head. Looking up into the mirror, I see my pathetic reflection staring back at me. Realization smacks me in the face like a ton of bricks. Tim’s right. I have been a mopey teenage girl, and I need to end this.

  I start the water to my shower, and slowly take off my clothes, trying to avoid the bandage on my head. I grab my razor out of my shaving kit before stepping under the spray. Facing the water, I can avoid getting any on the wound while it soaks my body. I look down at the blade of the razor and lift it up to my exposed neck.

  Carefully, I take my first swipe and remove the first strip of stubble. I continue this motion over and over again shaving below my chin and keeping the stubble on my face. I can’t wash my hair until I take off the bandage, and I can’t remove that for two days.

  I have to change. I have to step forward and away from the accident and move on with my life. First thing I need closure. I need to say good bye to Mel. I will print off the pictures but I have to take them off my phone. I need to say goodbye, and I plan on doing so as soon as I can.

  Stepping out of the shower, I swipe the condensation from the mirror and take note of the small knicks I left on my skin. Only two this time. I rip small pieces of tissue and stick them on the open wounds before I pick the small scissors out of my shaving kit and give the scruff on my face a trim.

  By the time I’m finished, my anger has subsided, and I am ready to do this. I walk into my bedroom and throw on some decent clothes before making my phone call.

  “Hello.” The sweet voice on the other end of the line responds. She was always so gentle to me, until that day in the hospital.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. Vispar. This is Tyson Lorey. Please don’t hang up.” I rattle off quickly. I need to plea my case.

  “Go on.” Her voice becoming as cold as ice. She still blames me. She hasn’t moved on either.

  “Mrs. Vispar. I need your permission to pay my respects to Mel. I need to tell her goodbye.”

  I hear her breathing on the other end, but she says nothing.

  “Mrs. Vispar. Please. I just want to go and say goodbye. I won’t come to you. I will go quietly and not stay long. Please understand that my guilt is unbearable, and it wasn’t even my fault. You have to know this.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “My husband won’t allow it.” They were always under the rule of Mr. Vispar. His voice carried and no one wanted it to be directed at them.

  “I just need a half an hour. That’s all, and you will never be bothered by me again. Please, Mrs. Vispar. Do you remember when you gave us your blessing to elope because you knew that your husband did not approve? You wanted your daughter to be happy.”

  She sniffles quickly. “I remember. But I can’t let you do this. I made such a mistake last time. I regret offering you my blessing.”

  “I know you do. But please, I’m begging you.”

  The line is silent for a moment, and I hear some muffling on the other end. I believe she’s walking around and I’m hoping to another room, or to an area where she can talk.

  “Okay. I have Mr. Vispar drive me to go shopping every Saturday at ten. We will then have lunch at 12:15 at our favorite restaurant. Once we’re done there, we go to the cemetery to say our hellos. We are usually there by two. I can’t delay longer than two. Don’t doddle,” she whispers hurriedly into the phone. “I’m sorry you’ve had to live with this. I forgive you.” She hangs up the phone, and I choke back a tear.

  I’ve waited a long time to hear those words. I just hoped I would hear them face to face, but I will accept them the way I got them.

  Saturday is three days from now. I need to make some arrangements.

  Chapter 10

  “Thank you. I still don’t like road trips, especially ones this far from home.”

  “It’s okay, Ty. How’ve you been?”

  I turn to look at her, and she’s just as beautiful as I remember. Her dark hair pulled up into a ponytail, and she’s wearing little makeup. She doesn’t need it. Her features are amazing even without accentuation.

  “I’ve been good. Did you hear about the bar fight?” I ask as I shift in my seat. Her Tiburon is definitely more comfortable than my truck would have been for this trip.

  “You were in a bar fight? I don’t believe that for a second.” She smirks and turns her attention back to the road.

  I smile and lick my lips. “No, ma’am. I wasn’t in one. I was a victim of one.”

  She turns her head and raises her eyebrow at me. “Explain.”

  “The Band is getting very popular and more and more people are coming to see them from all over. They actually started playing on Tuesdays and Wednesdays now.”

  “Good for them! They have talent.”

  “So I’ve been helping at the door. Stamping hands after Princess IDs them. You know. Doorman type stuff.” I shift in my seat to get more comfortable and look out the window. “Two guys leaving got in a fight, for what, I have no clue. Princess and I separated them, and the one I had decided to smoke me over the head with a bottle.”

  She hisses.

  “I woke up in the hospital. It freakin’ hurt. Minor concussion and a huge bandage. Turns out they glued my head closed and it makes it difficult to wash.”

  “You’re lucky that’s all that happened,” she informs me.

  “It led to me getting mad at Tim and then at myself, and finally I decided that I needed to do this. Thank you for understanding.”

  “Why did you call me to go with you?”

  “It was…” I take a deep breath. “The only thing that made sense.”

  “So I got us a room at the Comfort Inn for the night. It’s nothing special but it’s a place to sleep. We’ll get some dinner and hang out.” She shoulder checks an
d changes lanes getting ready to take the next off ramp.

  “I appreciate that, thank you.” Neither of us says another word until we reach the hotel.

  Together we walk in and we collect our room key. I look at her in surprise when I see the one key. As we walk away from the counter, I nudge her shoulder with mine. “I was expecting two rooms.”

  “How can we hang out if we’re in two rooms?” She nudges me back.

  “I want you to know that I’m not that kind of guy. I’m not going to be putting out tonight.”

  “Shut up.” She smiles. The dimples appear as does the blush on her cheeks.

  “I missed those dimples,” I state quietly as she opens the room. I step inside and see two beds, and a large television. “Which one do you want?” I ask, trying to be the gentleman. However, I hope she takes the one closest to the bathroom. I need the breeze of the window to sleep more comfortably.

  “You pick, I’m going to the bathroom.” She tosses her bag on the bed closest to the bathroom and I watch her perfect backside as she walks away.

  This is going to be a hard night. No pun intended.

  *

  After a restless night, I wake at 7:00 A.M. and tiptoe past Riley’s bed to take my shower and to grab some courage for today. I reach for the taps and pray for silence when I turn on the water. The last thing we need is screaming pipes as the hot water rushes through them.

  Placing my folded clothes on the counter, I undress and climb into the tub and scrub down. Carefully I wash my hair. The spot is still tender where I was hit. The glue is still holding but I have to be careful not to pick any off.

  I clean up as quickly as I can and towel dry off, taking extra care to dry my hair as gently as I can. Once I have my pants on, I’m just about to button up my shirt when there’s a gentle knock on the door. I turn and pull it open and see Riley standing on the other side. Her hair is mussed up, her face still puffy with sleep. She looks amazing. I’ve never seen anyone look this beautiful in the morning. My heart skips a beat, and my mouth wants to drop open. Instead, I clear my throat.

  I find her glancing down at my chest and back up to my face. She reddens a little before asking if I was done in the shower.

  “Sure am.” I pick up my pajamas and step out of the small room. She steps in and closes the door. As I reach the bed I hear the water turn on and just thinking about her standing under that spray in the next room, gives me goosebumps.

  “Hey, Ty.” Her small voice calls from behind the door when the water turns off.

  I stand and approach the door. “Yep?”

  “Can you pass me my bag? I forgot to bring it in with me. It’s on the floor by the bed.”

  “Sure thing. Just a minute.”

  I walk back toward the bed and look on the floor. I see her bra laying there next to the bag and pick it up, thinking that she might need it along with her bag. The material is soft in my hands, almost silky, but I know it’s not silk. It’s delicate, and I picture it on her body. Clearing my throat, I shake my head and carry both items to the bathroom door. Resisting the urge to run the lingerie against my cheek, I raise my hand and tap slightly to let her know I’m at the door.

  “Here you go. I’ll turn away,” I say and step to the side of the door frame. Turning my head back to the beds. My eyes come up and find a mirror as her eyes find the same mirror. Momentarily, our eyes meet in the glass before we both turn away in embarrassment. She pulls her arm and the bag inside in a hurry while I take my hand back and turn away from the mirror.

  “You trying to spy on me, Mr. Lorey?” Her voice calls out a second later.

  “No, ma’am. I wouldn’t do such a thing.” I assure her. Old me might have. The before Mel me wasn’t such a sweet guy. I’d be in the shower with her right now if this was pre-Mel. We’ll see what happens in a couple of hours.

  Turning on the television, I find the local news station and settle in for a while. Amazed at the city news compared to the small town news I’m used to. Shootings that aren’t related to hunting accidents are never heard of. Muggings, car accidents. School closures and donation drives. It’s heartbreaking to hear all of this stuff.

  I drop back on the bed and close my eyes in disbelief. This is why I don’t like the city. I can’t handle stuff like this.

  “Crazy night,” Riley states as she sits beside me on the bed. I open my eyes and turn my head to look at her. Her hair is twisted up on the back of her head, and she’s wearing a small amount of makeup. The pink blouse she has on looks amazing on her skin tone, and I can’t help but stare.

  “Indeed.”

  She takes the remote from my hand and turns off the television. “Let’s check out and get some breakfast so we can be there as quickly as possible. Then you can do what you need to do.”

  Tapping my leg, she encourages me to stand and follow her while we claim our items and leave the room. I leave Riley to check out, and I take our bags to her car in the parking lot. There’s a pancake house on the other side of the lot, and we’ve decided to have breakfast there.

  It only takes a few moments for her to check us out and meet me in the lot. She’s smiling as she approaches me, and it captivates me. I can’t take my eyes off of her, and I’m sure I’m showing every bit of my adoration for her like a mask.

  “What?” she asks suspiciously as she approaches me. I knew she could tell. I’m not very good at hiding these things.

  “I just want to tell you that…” I begin and think better of it for the time being. “Thank you again for being here for me.”

  “You’re welcome.” She smiles. “Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

  Together we walk to the restaurant and wait at the door for the hostess to seat us. It doesn’t take long before we are both finished with our second cup of coffee, and our meals are being placed in front of us.

  I’m starting to get nervous now. The time is getting closer for me to do this, and I just pray that I don’t back out. It’s getting harder and harder for me to swallow my meal and Riley watches my struggle. Reaching across the table, she takes my hand in hers and squeezes it.

  “I’m here for you.” It’s the only thing I need to hear to remind me that this is what I want.

  Squeezing back, I nod and finish my meal with one hand. There’s no way I’m going to let go of her again.

  Chapter 11

  We pull into the parking lot and cut the engine. Anxiously, I sit and try to calm my breathing. My heart is beating out of my chest, and I’m filled with a hive of angry bees.

  Reaching for my hand, Riley squeezes and brushes my knuckles with her finger. “You don’t have to do this today, Ty,” she whispers. She can see the pain my body holds. “You can do this when you’re ready and only you will know when you’re ready.”

  I turn my head to face her. Chewing on my lip, I adjust my hand and braid our fingers together. I know she’s just trying to encourage me to do what I need to do. She knows how much I have suffered with this for a year.

  “I need to do this. It’s time,” I tell her quietly. “I have so much to say to her, and I need to do it today. Her mother gave me today. I could never ask for another.”

  I look out the window and see the beautiful cemetery before me. Rows upon rows of beautiful ornate markers made of slate and marble. Flowers on almost every plot.

  Looking up I see blue sky with wispy clouds and a gentle breeze rocking the leaves of the oak trees that line the property. “I want you to come with me.” I turn back to Riley. “Please.” She nods and gives my hand one last squeeze before we open the doors and step out of the car.

  Rounding the car, she takes my hand and together we follow the sidewalk into the cemetery. Slowly we walk the path and take note of some of the markers.

  Grandparents with lilac flowers.

  Children with baby’s breath and teddy bears.

  Mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers.

  Every one of the markers is a loved one, lost but not forgotten.

/>   Finally we come to the section where Mel is laid to rest and we separate to find her. It takes a few minutes of reading headstones before I come across a simple black marble headstone with her name on it.

  Melanie Corrine Vispar.

  Beautiful daughter.

  Fly high among the angels, sweet child, we will dance again one day.

  I kneel on the ground in front of it and start shaking like a leaf.

  “Hi, Mel,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. It took a lot for me to come. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.”

  I take a deep breath and change positions so I’m sitting directly on the earth above her. My fingers run through the grass, and my emotions hang on by a thread.

  “I’ve missed you so much. That last day we were together was the happiest day of my life. You were so amazing. Smiling and loving me on our journey. I remember that morning so well, we just threw whatever we could in our bags and started toward Vegas. It was so exciting. Do you remember that, babe?” I ask quietly.

  “Your mom quietly offered us her blessing just the day before and we couldn’t wait. We decided to do it as quickly as we could.” I smile at the memory and chew on the inside of my cheek.

  “We made love that night, knowing that would be the last time we did it as a dating couple. Little did we know that would be the last time we were intimate - ever.”

  Birds chirp in the trees just behind her marker and I look up toward them. Taking a deep breath as I do.

  “I miss you so much.” A tear runs down my cheek and into my beard. Tipping my head forward, I close my eyes and wipe my nose with the heel of my hand. “You were the only thing in my life that meant anything. You made me a better man.” I sigh. “Just knowing you made me a better man.”

  Behind me I hear quiet footsteps approach on the sidewalk. I don’t turn around to greet her, but I know it’s Riley. She steps off the path and onto the grass beside me. Her hand finds my shoulder and gives a squeeze.