Reasons to Stay

by Lisa J. Hobman

She took a group of learners to the local community centre to watch a Scientist Stu show at the end of the week. She applauded in all the right places and laughed along with the kids, even though she wasn’t really listening. This was usually one of her favourite parts of the curriculum. The sad thing was, as Head of Science she wouldn’t get to do this anymore. No, there were to be far more important demands on her time than watching someone turn water into what looked like red wine or making elephant’s toothpaste and screaming jelly babies. There would be facts and figures to sort through, grades and exams to think about, timetabling and staff appraisals.

  She stepped out to get some fresh air, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed by her impending responsibility. She noticed a leaflet rack of course information for the local community college. Perhaps I need a hobby? Yeah, something to help me de-stress. She thumbed through the leaflets. Karate, netball, metal work…ooh metal work would be good…archery… She grabbed a few of the brochures and shoved them into her handbag.

  The end of the day was a welcome occurrence, and Stevie arrived home in a bit of a daze. Her phone rang and with a long sigh she answered the call.

  ‘Hi, Mum.’

  ‘How was your day, honey bun?’ Dana asked.

  ‘Oh, good actually. Saw Scientist Stu. He’s really funny. The kids love him.’

  ‘That’s good then. Bit of a change.’

  ‘Yeah, it was. Mum?’

  ‘Yes, love?’

  ‘What do you think about me getting a hobby?’

  ‘I think it’s a great idea. What were you thinking?’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know yet. I got some leaflets from the community centre. There are all sorts going on at the community college.’

  ‘Sounds good. You’ll need something to help you de-stress when you start your new job.’

  ‘That’s exactly what I thought.’

  A few moments of silence followed, which was rare for Dana, and Stevie could tell her mother had something to say. ‘Come on, Mum, out with it. I know you're hiding something.’

  Dana sighed. ‘Tom told me he loves me. So...I... I told him about my condition. I felt it was only fair that he knew what he was letting himself in for. I mean...things can change with Myasthenia and...you just never know...’

  ‘Oh, Mum. You must really care for him. And it's not as if you're ill ill. You cope so well with things. What...what did he say?’ Please let him still be around...please...she needs this.

  ‘He said that nothing could change the way he feels about me,’ Dana said dreamily. ‘He says he always had strong feelings for me and he's grateful to have been given a chance to be with me.’

  Tears of happiness and relief stung at Stevie's eyes. Dana deserved someone wonderful. It was about time. ‘Oh, Mum, I knew he'd be the one for you. I just knew it.’

  ‘He's just so...there aren't enough lovely words, darling. Anyway, sweetie. I’ll have to go. He’s picking me up soon. He’s taking me to the cinema to see the new Gerard Butler film. And you know how much I adore him.’ Her voice was chirpy and excited.

  Stevie giggled. ‘Who? Tom or Gerard?’

  ‘Hmmm…both!’ Dana squeaked.

  ‘Okay, have fun, Mum. Say hi to Tom for me.’

  The call ended and Stevie reached down to scratch behind Rowdy’s ears. ‘It’s bloody typical, Rowds. My mum has a better love life than I do.’

  The dog whined as if agreeing sympathetically with her. She was so very happy for her mum. After all these years of steering clear of men and the complications they brought, Dana had finally found love with someone she had known when Jed was still around. The familiarity of that seemed to comfort Dana. And Tom was great. A really nice, down to earth kind of guy. He treated her well and clearly adored her. He was a handsome man, and Stevie could definitely see the attraction. Since Dana had been with Tom, she had relaxed a little and smiled a hell of a lot more.

  Stevie wondered if this might mean she could worry less and concentrate on her own life more. If things continued the way they were going, Tom would clearly take care of her mum. The thought warmed her heart and for the first time in a long while she felt a weight lift from her shoulders. She noticed the leaflets she had picked up from the community centre laying on the coffee table. She was on the verge of looking through them when her phone rang again.

  ‘Stevie?’

  She sat upright. ‘Dillon? Is everything okay?’

  ‘Fine…fine yes. I had to call you. Something’s been bugging me for a while, but I promised I wouldn’t interfere. But…well…sod it, I’m interfering anyway.’

  Stevie scrunched her brow. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘Okay…here goes…’ He inhaled deeply. ‘Why didn’t you meet Jason at the airport like you said you would?’

  Stevie snorted. ‘You’ve waited all this time to call and ask me that?’

  ‘Yeah. Like I said, I was asked to leave it, but some questions need answers.’

  She remained silent.

  ‘You said you’d be there, Stevie. You said you’d go. What changed?’

  She took her own deep breath before speaking firmly. ‘For your information, Dillon, I did go. I turned up like the dutiful friend. I even managed to get someone to help me into the press only conference.’

  ‘Oh…oh right.’ He sounded surprised. ‘But Jason looked for you. You didn’t approach him. You didn’t go to him. You haven’t been in touch since.’

  ‘No. I haven’t and there is good reason for that, don’t you think?’

  ‘How should I know?’

  She laughed bitterly. ‘Oh come off it, Dillon. He announces his engagement to the paparazzi and therefore the whole world, and I’m supposed to play nice, hug him, and tell him how happy I am that he’s home. Actually I was happy he was home, but I couldn’t speak to him. My heart kind of shattered into a million pieces when I saw them looking at each other.’

  ‘You’ve got it all wrong.’

  She was getting annoyed. ‘What? What do you mean?’ She tapped her foot and flared her nostrils.

  ‘He didn’t get engaged.’

  ‘No? Whatever, Dillon, he moved on. I need to do the same, so please let me do it, okay?’ She hit end call and slammed the phone onto the sofa.

  ‘Who was it, bro?’ Jason asked as he walked in and found Dillon hanging up the phone. He rubbed the towel over his head as he waited for an answer.

  ‘What? Oh, no one. Nothing.’

  Jason scrunched his brow. ‘It doesn’t look like it was nothing. You don’t look too impressed.’

  ‘No…no it’s something and nothing. Nothing for you to worry about.

  ‘Okay. If you say so. Are you still up for going to that La Fontaines gig at the Ironworks over in Inverness tonight?’

  ‘Yeah, sounds good.’

  ‘Great. I’ll go get dressed and we’ll leave now. We can get a pizza on the way, eh?’

  ‘Yeah. Sounds good.’ Dillon still looked distracted.

  Jason went back into his room and pulled on his T-shirt. His iPod was on random and as he sat on the bed he was greeted with Aerosmith’s ‘What it Takes’. He smirked and shook his head. Great fucking timing, Mr. Tyler. He glanced over at his dresser at the photo of Stevie standing against the wall in her climbing gear. She may not have realised it at the time, but she had a glow about her that day, and seeing her in the harness had done strange things to his imagination. Images of her in just the harness…no clothes…danced through his head like they had done on the day itself. He adjusted his jeans and rolled his eyes.

  He growled at his reflection in the mirror. ‘I’ve got to stop fucking thinking like this.’

  Friday night was yet another night of wine with Mollie, only this time they ventured out of the house. They ended up at a club not too far from Stevie’s house and things were going well. They danced and drank…drank a little more and then danced more as a result of the drink. Stevie was feeling relaxed and quite giggly. That was until a guy approached her, asking for
her number and if he could buy her drink. He was tall with mousey hair, fairly good-looking, and nicely built. Mollie was doing her best to encourage Stevie to chat to him, but she wasn’t interested.

  ‘What’s your name?’ Mollie asked him, her words a little slurry.

  ‘I’m Jaz…Jaz Malone.’

  Stevie was intrigued by his accent. ‘You’re not from here,’ she informed him, pointing a drunken finger in his face.’

  ‘That would be correct. I’m from a little place called the USA,’ he told her with a smile.

  Stevie scrunched her face at him. ‘Why are you here then?’ Her tone wasn’t exactly friendly she realised, but it didn’t put him off.

  ‘Ah, long story. Came here with my girlfriend. Things didn’t exactly work out. She met someone new and moved on. So here I am.’

  Stevie huffed. ‘Huh, I know all about being dumped for someone else, Jaz Malone.’ She slurred his name into one word and he chuckled. ‘Wanna get pissed with us?’

  He glanced around as if looking for someone. ‘Uh, yeah, why the hell not?’

  ‘Oooh I like your accent…it’s kind of sexy…schmexy.’ Oh god, what am I talking about? I really am fissed as a part, and should, therefore, go home. Go home, Stevie. Hang on though… I’m talking to myself in my head, so I can’t be quite as think as I drunk I am…huh? I’m actually, quite most absolutely fine…ish. Another few shots won’t hurt.

  Realising she had been standing having a conversation with herself whilst staring at the handsome American set her off giggling.

  And so the night went on in a drunken blur.

  The following morning, Stevie awoke with a throbbing head and a mouth as dry as the Sahara. She tried to recall the events of the previous evening and could remember being helped into a cab by…someone…a man…Jazz hands? Jazzy Jeff? Jaz Malone! That’s it! Jaz Malone. She climbed out of bed, and when the room had stopped spinning, she made her way downstairs. Rowdy was giddy and excited, jumping around, and giving a high-pitched yip that felt like a drill at her skull. She opened the back door and evicted him into the garden.

  Mollie appeared in the doorway, looking as fresh as a daisy. Stevie opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. She did this several more times until Mollie spoke.

  ‘Okay, so either you’re doing a very good impression of a fish out of water or you’re trying to communicate with either me…or the mother ship. What’s up?’

  ‘How do you end up looking so fucking fresh? It’s not fucking fair.’

  ‘And how come every time you’re hung over you swear like a boat builder?’

  ‘That could be very insulting to boat builders, you know.’

  Mollie glanced around her and spoke in a hushed tone. ‘When they wake up, we’ll apologise.’

  Horror suddenly washed over Stevie. ‘Was he a boat builder? And is he here?’ Her own voice was a loud whisper.

  Mollie burst out laughing hysterically. ‘Who the hell are you talking about?’

  ‘That…that Jaz bloke, obviously!’

  ‘Oh him! Oh no, he saw us into a cab, and we went our separate ways. And he was a newly qualified teacher. He was only in London for the weekend. He lived up in the Scottish Borders.’

  ‘Oh. Thank goodness.’ Stevie leaned against the counter top as she breathed a sigh of relief. ‘What is it about bloody Scotland and good looking men?’

  ‘Hmmm. Dunno. He was really nice. Young too. Yeah it was quite sweet. I left the two of you alone to sit and wallow in self-pity about being dumped by the love of your lives whilst I went off and pulled a hunky guy called Todd. When I came back, you’d got your arms around each other’s shoulders and were singing a delightful rendition of ‘What Becomes of the Broken Hearted’. He was actually quite good. But then again, he teaches music. You on the other hand…’ She sucked air in through her teeth and shook her head.

  The phone began ringing, and the sound of that had the same effect as Rowdy’s bark. Rubbing at her temples, she shouted, ‘Chuck it in the garden and ignore it. That’s what I did with Rowdy.’ But the ringing stopped. Ah shit. Too late.

  Mollie had already answered the call. ‘Yeah, Dillon. She’s just here. Hang on. Oh, be gentle though, eh? Yeah, bad hangover.’ She laughed.

  Stevie snatched the phone. ‘Dillon.’ She was very much aware that her monotone greeting was anything but cordial.

  ‘Stevie, right, you need to listen. You need to stop jumping to conclusions and you need to listen. Can you do that?’

  ‘Why are you whispering?’

  ‘Because Jason is still in bed, and he’ll kill me if he knows I’m calling you.’

  She huffed out a frustrated sigh. ‘Why? What’s going on?’

  ‘Right…for starters, he is not and I repeat not engaged.’

  ‘No I—’

  ‘Bah! List-ennnn.’ He drew the word out patronisingly, and Stevie had the urge to hang up. ‘Not only is he not engaged. But he is not in a relationship with Oriel Maçon.’

  ‘Who’s Oriel Maçon?’

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Stevie! You’re supposed to be listening! I don’t have much time!’

  ‘Okay, keep your knickers on!’

  ‘Oriel is the woman he was captured with. But she is in a relationship with someone else. A woman. Okay?’ Oh…right. ‘The way they were able to escape is that Oriel told them she wanted to sit by her fiancé, Jason, because she was afraid. They let her. Jason had a knife hidden in his boot. They used the knife to cut the ropes so they could escape. Now do you get it?’

  The information overload made Stevie’s head pound in her skull. She didn’t know what to do with it.

  ‘Stevie? You can speak now.’

  ‘Yes, sorry. I just… I don’t know what to say.’

  ‘He was looking for you. He wanted you to be there at the airport. He hoped you’d be there. Do you understand?’

  Stevie stumbled over to the kitchen table and sat down. ‘Yeah…yes…I get it. But why didn’t he contact me?’

  ‘Because he still thinks you’ve moved on. I told him about Marcus and that you’re not in a relationship with him. But he says he needs to hear that from you, but he won’t contact you about it. Honestly, I could bang your heads together!’

  ‘So he’d come to London again?’ Something akin to hope swelled inside her, and her sluggish heart rate began to increase.

  Dillon, however, sighed. ‘That’s just it. He says that being away and going through what he went through has made him feel that he… He says he won’t be leaving here. That this is his home. So I’m guessing that, no, he won’t come to London, Stevie.’

  ‘Therein lies the issue, Dillon. I just got the Head of Science job, and so my life is here.’ Her heart plummeted.

  Dillon sighed. ‘Really? No chance you’ll change your mind on this?’

  Stevie’s eyes began to sting as all hope ebbed away as quickly as it had arrived. ‘I’m sorry, Dillon.’ The waver in her voice told of her anguish.

  ‘Okay, in that case, this conversation never happened.’ His voice was tinged with sadness and disappointment. ‘Take care of yourself, Stevie. Be happy.’

  The line went dead.

  A little like Stevie’s hopes of a future with Jason.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Since her call with Dillon, Stevie had made a few decisions about her life. It was time to start living it. That was the first decision. In fact…it was the only one that needed any consideration. Life would start right now.

  Her resolve was set firm.

  Saturday night had rolled around, and Mollie was out with Todd whom she’d met on their girl’s night. Stevie had opened a bottle of wine and had been contemplating what movie to watch when the leaflets from the Community College caught her eye from under a pile of magazines.

  There were several courses being run at the College that she decided she’d like to try. The trouble was she didn’t have time for several. One maybe, but no more than that. And luckily, one in particular had sparke
d her interest.

  Without thinking it through, she picked up her phone and dialled. Considering it was a Saturday evening, she didn’t anticipate anyone answering. She presumed it’d be a voicemail. But when a man answered, she was a little taken back. Hoping she didn’t sound too slurry, she spoke as politely as she could.

  ‘Hello, yes. I picked up your leaflet from Wilmersden Community Centre, and I’d like to sign up for lessons please.’

  The call went on for several minutes as the man took down many details. Stevie wasn’t sure which interrogation had been more intense, this one or the all-day interview she had undergone for the Head of Science job. At least with this particular one, she was told she could start on Monday, unlike the job, which she wouldn’t be starting until after Christmas. Although considering the amount of new work that had surreptitiously landed on her desk, it appeared that the Head Teacher had forgotten that minor fact.

  Monday at school was a mixture of annoying kids with no homework and looking out for the Head Teacher, who kept on sneaking those extra documents onto her already stacked in-tray. She had decided to subtly remind him that her post wasn’t beginning until the New Year. But she kept missing him. By the time she was home, she felt incredibly frustrated and was ready to punch something…or preferably someone. She wasn’t sure whom she wanted to punch. Once ready to go on her new adventure, she walked around to her neighbour, Joe's house with Rowdy in tow, knocked on the door, and waited.

  ‘Hi, Stevie, are you coming in for a coffee?’ Joe asked as he crouched down to pay attention to his canine friend.

  ‘No, thanks, Joe. I need to get going, seeing as I’m running late. Are you sure this arrangement will work for you? He loves his long walks with you, but I don’t want you to feel pressured.’ Rowdy hated most men, but for some unknown reason he adored Joe. It worked out well, seeing as Joe loved to walk and enjoyed the company of the huge dog.

  ‘Nah, not at all love. Don’t worry. Me and Rowds have a great time, don’t we boy? But are you sure you want to do this? It's a bit drastic don't you think? Just don’t get hurt, okay?’