“There really is nothing to say.”
“It is a quandary, isn’t it?” Lucy heaved a heartfelt sigh. “When there are two things you want so very much and you can’t have them both.”
Teddy smiled. “Quandary is putting it mildly.”
“As much as I admire you, Teddy, Jackson is my dearest friend in the world.” She squared her shoulders. “And I feel it my duty to lay out his case.”
Teddy drew her brows together. “Does he know this?”
“Don’t be absurd. He would never ask me to speak on his behalf.” Lucy folded her hands in her lap. “First of all, Jackson Channing is intelligent and handsome and has a good head on his shoulders. He is the best man I have ever known.”
“Indeed he is.”
“You’ll never find anyone even half as good.”
“Probably not, but—”
“But?”
Teddy chose her words with care. “Once, he was everything I ever wanted. Now, I want something different.”
“Still—”
“I don’t want to spend my life wondering what might have been.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to live my life with regrets.”
“Won’t you regret not being with Jackson?”
Teddy met the younger woman’s gaze directly. “Every minute until I breathe my last.”
“Oh.” Lucy stared. “I was right. You do have courage.”
“Or I’m a fool.” She shrugged. “There’s apparently a fine line.”
“Apparently. Although I suppose I’m a bit of a fool myself.” Lucy wrinkled her nose. “I let him go after all.”
“Why did you?”
“Well, I suppose it’s because I didn’t really want him. Not for my husband that is. I’ve known Jackson all of my life and I really think if you are going to spend the rest of your days with a man, it should be at least a little bit of an adventure.” She shook her head. “I can tell you what he will usually order in a restaurant. I can tell you what song he can’t resist dancing to when an orchestra plays. I can tell you his favorite color, book, play. There’s nothing left to discover about Jackson. And as truly wonderful as I think he is, I find it all rather, well, dull.”
“And I find it all fascinating.”
“That’s because he is your adventure.” Lucy smiled. “Not mine.”
“Well, adventures do come to an end you know.” Teddy forced a light laugh. “It’s the very nature of adventure.”
“Nonsense, I don’t believe that at all. Why, life itself is an adventure or at least it should be.” Lucy cast her a chastising look. “Surely you realize, Teddy, the very best adventures are only a beginning.”
Lady Briston was beside herself with delight as were her new dearest friends Lady Sallwick and Mrs. Channing. All three women agreed the New Year’s ball organized by the simply brilliant Lady Theodosia Winslow was the event of the year.
The Millworth ballroom had been transformed into a winter fairyland with hundreds of twinkling candles and garlands of sugared evergreen. Red roses overflowed from every nook and cranny and silvered half-masks were tucked into every arrangement. Even though Lady Briston had abandoned her idea of a masked ball, she had insisted on the masks as part of the decoration and Teddy had to admit she was right. The overall effect was breathtaking and nothing short of magical.
Teddy and Jack managed to convince the daunting trio that the ball was not the time to formally announce their engagement as they pointed out it would overshadow the true purpose of the evening, which was, of course, to introduce Jack to their world. Oddly enough, all three ladies, even Teddy’s mother, agreed. Teddy wondered if Lady Briston had already learned the truth from Dee. Mrs. Channing, who had seemed to accept Teddy, probably hoped there was still a chance Lucy would become her daughter-in-law. As for Teddy’s mother, well, she had firmly met her daughter’s gaze and said this was a decision best left to Teddy and Jack. It was as shocking as it was delightful.
It was indeed a night to remember. Once the ball began, Teddy turned over her duties to Clement to oversee. The butler accepted that as his due but broke from his usual proper demeanor and urged her to have a wonderful evening. Perhaps he too had noticed her manner wasn’t quite as cheerful as usual.
Jack hadn’t said a word about her low spirits but she had caught him studying her thoughtfully in those rare moments this week when they were in the same room together.
He was as brilliant tonight as the ballroom. Handsome and dashing, he danced with the dowagers and charmed the younger ladies. He joked with his father’s cronies and debated in a good-natured manner with his uncle’s friends. It struck her that, in spite of his apprehension, he fit in as surely as if he had lived his entire life here. There’s was no evidence of the ill-at-ease American she had met at Camille’s wedding, no sign of a fish out of water. And why should there be? Millworth, and all it meant, was in his blood.
And when he took her in his arms to dance, her resolve melted and she wanted nothing more than to stay in his arms forever.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” He smiled down at her.
“Why, no, you haven’t.” She heaved an overly dramatic sigh. “A grave oversight on your part, I would say.”
He laughed. “Absolutely. One I should rectify at once. Unfortunately . . .” He studied her for a moment. “Words are not enough.”
“As charming as that is, I’m not letting you get away that easily.”
“Oh, I could say your eyes sparkle like emeralds, your skin glows in the candlelight, your hair gleams like liquid fire, your lips are as irresistible as ripe cherries.”
“Come now, Jack, surely you can do better than that,” she teased.
“You are a dream, Theodosia, a gift from God. You are truly an adventure.” His gaze locked with hers. “My adventure.”
Her heart lodged in her throat. “See,” she said weakly. “I knew you could do better.”
“I think we should tell the family about our engagement tomorrow,” he said abruptly. “Delilah says the guests staying at the manor all plan on leaving first thing in the morning. We can do it at breakfast after they depart.”
“Breakfast will be later than usual,” she murmured.
“And then . . .” His eyes narrowed. “We need to talk.”
“We really have nothing to talk about. Not once we confess our deception.”
“We have a great deal to talk about,” he said firmly. “On a matter of some importance, I would say.”
She frowned up at him. “What?”
He ignored her. “The dining room is apparently where all matters of importance are discussed in this family so it does seem appropriate to make our confession there. Once that is settled, I have another announcement to make as well.”
She stared up at him. “What?”
“You do ask a lot of questions.”
“I always have.” She huffed with impatience. “I should warn you, I have never been fond of surprises.”
“Nor are you particularly patient. Tomorrow, Theodosia,” he said in what was obviously his best vice-presidential tone. “We shall discuss what needs to be discussed. Tonight . . .” He smiled down at her. “I have the most beautiful adventure in the world in my arms and I don’t intend to allow anything to spoil it.”
“But—”
“For once, just for once, simply smile and agree with me.”
She stared at him, then sighed and smiled. “Very well then.”
“I knew you could do it if you tried.” He grinned.
“Well, it’s not easy.”
“It’s not supposed to be.” He pulled her slightly closer and smiled into her eyes. “After all, where would be the challenge in that? Or the adventure?”
“. . . and there you have it.” Jack stood at the head of the table, his father on one side, Teddy on the other. “Lady Theodosia and I were never actually engaged.”
Teddy held her breath. The entire family had gathered around the dining ro
om table. The twins, Grayson, Sam, and Lionel as well as Lord and Lady Briston, Jack’s mother and grandfather along with Teddy’s mother and Mr. Lockwood all stared in stunned silence. The expressions on their faces ranged from shock to acceptance. Dee, Lucy, and the colonel simply kept their mouths shut.
“How very . . . heroic of you, Jack,” Camille said at last.
“Admittedly it’s rather extreme simply to save someone from an awkward situation,” Beryl said. “But no less gallant for the absurdity of it. It’s quite impressive when one thinks about it.”
“I can’t say I’m not disappointed.” Lady Briston sighed at Teddy. “I was quite looking forward to having you as a member of the family.”
Teddy glanced at her mother. “Mother?”
“I . . .” Mother hesitated, then drew a deep breath. “I owe you my apologies, Theodosia. I should never have put you in such a position. I am truly sorry.”
Teddy swallowed hard. “Thank you, Mother.”
Almost at once everyone launched into their own opinions and for a minute the air was filled with expressions of surprise or disappointment
“One moment if you please.” Jack’s mother stood up. “I have something to say to my son.”
Jack’s brow rose. “Yes?”
“What do you mean? You’re not going to marry this woman?” Mrs. Channing glared at him. “Feigned engagement or not, and, as much I might hate to admit it, she is so obviously perfect for you. Do not make the same mistakes I did of disregarding something simply because it’s completely unexpected. You belong together.” She glanced at Lucy. “It’s no more than the truth, Lucinda. Why, anyone can see it. I am sorry but there you have it.”
“Poor, poor me.” Lucy grinned, then sobered. Her gaze shifted between Jack and Teddy. “She’s right, you know.”
“Thank you, Lucy.” Jack nodded. “Sit down, Mother.”
“But—”
“Sit down, please. There’s more.”
The colonel frowned. “More?”
“Yes, Father.” Jack drew a deep breath. “When I came to England I had no intention of staying. I had simply thought it was the opportunity to get to know my father and meet the rest of my family. I felt quite out of place here at first. All that has changed.”
Lord Briston beamed. “Excellent.”
“In the beginning, I assumed I would return to New York to resume my position at the bank.” He looked at his grandfather. “I am sorry, Grandfather, but that is no longer my intent.”
“Not a surprise to me,” Mr. Graham said gruffly. “I never thought banking was really in your blood.”
“I’m glad you understand.”
The older gentleman shrugged.
“As for the rest of it.” Jack turned to Lord Briston. “I understand the way this sort of thing, inheritance and titles and the like, works in this country. That, regardless of any decision I make, I will someday be the Earl of Briston. The question is do I want to accept all that goes along with it.” He glanced at Lionel. “I’m not under any obligation to take on the responsibilities of the earldom, am I?”
Surprise washed around the room. The colonel winced. A startled expression crossed Lionel’s face. “No, I suppose you’re not.”
“I could conceivably return to America, live the rest of my life there, and have nothing to do with Millworth or Parliament or any of it?”
“I’ve never considered that before.” Lionel nodded. “But yes.”
Lord Briston’s brow furrowed. “Now see here, Jack—”
“Wait, Uncle.” Jack held up a hand to quiet the older man. “I’m not saying that’s my intention but my life, even how I see myself, has changed enormously in the last few months. I feel as though I have barely begun to live and I’m not ready to decide how I want to spend the rest of my days.”
“Nonetheless, Jack,” his uncle began.
“Uncle Nigel,” Jack said. “Do you intend to die anytime soon?”
Lord Briston huffed. “I do not intend to die at all although I suspect I cannot avoid it forever.”
“I wish you a long and happy life, Uncle.” He turned to the colonel. “Father, you look like a healthy sort. How do you feel?”
His father chuckled. “Never better, Jack.”
“Well then, as both of you would have to depart this world before I would inherit the title, it seems to me any decision on my part would be premature and completely unnecessary. Besides, I’m tired of having my entire future planned and plotted and expected.”
Delilah stared. “What do you intend to do?”
“Actually,” He glanced at his mother. “It was something you pointed out, although the idea has been growing for some time. I intend to travel the world. I intend to see all those places and try all those things I wanted to do and see as a boy.” He grinned. “I intend to follow in my father’s footsteps.”
His mother stared in disbelief.
The colonel leaned closer to her and lowered his voice. “I would strongly suggest, Betty, that you force a brave smile to your face and graciously accept the inevitable.”
Mrs. Channing hesitated, then nodded and smiled weakly.
Jack turned to Teddy. “What do you say, Teddy? Come with me? See the world?”
She stared at him for a moment, then laughed. “I knew you weren’t really a banker.”
“We’ll have grand adventures, see things not everyone does, go places most people only dream of going. We’ll spend five weeks in a balloon or make it around the world in eighty days. Or less.” He grinned. “Carpe diem, Teddy.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. “Venture into the unknown. Marry me.”
“Jack.” She stared up at him and for a moment she could see a future with him as well as a future without him. Neither was perfect. Both came with regrets. She braced herself. “No.”
He paused. “No?”
“No.”
His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean—no?”
“I mean . . . no.” She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“But I love you and you love me.”
“I never said I loved you.” She lowered her voice. “You should probably release me now. Everyone is staring.” The room had indeed quieted as if those present were holding their breath.
“I don’t care,” he said but released her nonetheless. “And you didn’t need to say it.”
“It wasn’t real, Jack, remember,” she said firmly. “The engagement, none of it was real.”
“Not the engagement perhaps but this is real.” He gripped her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “You love me.”
“Goodness, Jack I . . .”
“You are a stubborn creature, Theodosia Winslow, and you may deny it all you wish but I know. I see it in the look in your eyes and the touch of your hand. I feel it in the strength of your trust and the depth of your concern. I know it as I have never known anything before.” He took her hand and pressed it to his chest and his heart beat beneath her fingers. “I know it in my heart, in my very soul, and you know it too.”
She stared up at him. Not so much as a glimmer of doubt shone in his eyes. And it destroyed her. “Yes, God help me, I do. Of course, I do.” She shook her head. “But I never intended for you to know that. I thought it would be better, easier for you, if you didn’t know how I felt.”
“You thought thinking you didn’t love me, that you didn’t share my feelings, would make things easier?” Disbelief rang in his voice. He dropped her hand and an aching sense of loss swept through her.
“Obviously, nothing will make this easier. But loving you . . .” Her voice cracked. “Apparently I’m not very good at hiding my feelings but then I’ve never truly been in love before.”
“And you are now.”
“It doesn’t matter, Jack. It only makes this harder.” Her gaze searched his. “Don’t you see that?”
“No, I don’t.” His gaze bored into hers. “If you love me—”
“And I do.” She nodded. “Truly I do. Bu
t—”
“But you have plans for your life.”
“You know full well I do.” She glanced at the others watching them closely. “Perhaps this would be best discussed in private.”
“Oh, don’t mind us,” Dee said. “Pretend we’re not here.”
Jack ignored her and glared down at Teddy. “And those plans do not include me.”
“No, they don’t.” She’d seen him annoyed but she’d never seen him angry before. And angry was exactly what he was. Angry and hurt. It showed in the hard line of his jaw, the tense set of his shoulders, and the look in his eyes. “You are the heir to Millworth Manor and a title and exactly the kind of man I always expected I would wed. The kind I was supposed to marry. In that, it seems I have come full circle.” She forced herself to continue. “It also seems it’s no longer what I want. Odd how quickly life changes.”
“So,” he said, his tone measured, his gaze never veering from hers. “You are choosing your . . . your pursuit of business over a life with me?”
“Good Lord.” Mother groaned.
“No, I’m choosing to pursue my own . . . well, my own challenge if you will. My own adventure.”
“I’m offering you adventure. The kind of adventure you’ve always wanted.”
“I’ve always thought love a grand adventure,” her mother said in a soft, hopeful voice.
Teddy shook her head. “But it’s your adventure, not mine.”
“It can be ours.” The firm note in his voice did nothing to dim the growing realization in his eyes.
“I have plans—”
“Good God, Theodosia, plans, expectations change with circumstances or desire. My plans certainly have, for my life, for my future.”
She struggled against the lump that lodged in her throat. “Mine haven’t.” Her gaze searched his. “You of all people should understand.”
“I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it.” He glared down at her. “You’ve admitted you love me and I’ve declared my love for you. That should be the end of any debate. We should be planning a life together. It seems to me when two people find each other, against all odds that they would even meet, mind you, they would be fools to throw it away.”
The Shocking Secret of a Guest at the Wedding (Millworth Manor) Page 36