The Man I Love (The Man I Need Trilogy #3)

by Loretta Steel

  Afterwards, she lay in my arms as I stroked her tender behind. She shuffled back to meet my hand as I reached down to the left cheek, hidden beneath the sheets. Blushed, with thin raised stripes where the whip had fallen sending her into a frenzied display of tears that produced only another erection and a long slow sex session that left her weak. She had enjoyed the idea of holding the fort, of being able to control the very thing she would never, ever, really have control over. But I had no intention of repeating the experience too soon. She would need to learn to control her desire to force me into spanking her. She must know that her discipline was, and always would be on my terms. But it was good to know that she hadn’t lost interest in me, or our lifestyle choice just because she’d got the ring on her finger.

  If anything it had only increased her wish to submit to me.

  EZRA

  Almost a week had passed and whilst the marks had faded I hadn’t forgotten my recent transgression, the awkward reminders coming to me as I passed a reporter in the lane on my way out to the newsagents or noticing an article in the crime column of the local newspaper. I couldn’t get away from it, it seemed Tyler’s arrest and Maddie’s acquittal were everywhere. It didn’t help that I’d promised not to visit Maddie, or lie to Blake again. Which meant that when I wanted to meet up with her, I had to tell him the truth, knowing how he felt about the prospect, and knowing I was putting myself in an awkward position.

  ‘I’m not going to stop you, but I think you’re making a mistake.’

  ‘I’m a big girl and I can handle it.’

  ‘If you think so.’

  I cursed him silently for doubting me, but I left with a seed of apprehension as I sat beside Blake in the car, headed for Madison’s flat.

  She greeted me warmly, but I glanced behind me to see Blake seated out the front and closed the door, walking hesitantly into the living room we’d spent many times drinking, eating and laughing together in. This time, though, it felt different. I felt a little above her. I wanted to see her face, witness my anger and pain for her betrayal. I wanted her to see the hate burning in my eyes as I gave her what for.

  She stooped, shoulders drawn, face hidden behind a mask of hair that fell down over her pale face. She was broken, and I wanted to know why.

  ‘Why did you do all those things, leave notes, scare me with a pretend break-in?’

  ‘I wanted to hurt you,’ she said.

  ‘You did, but that’s not what I was asking.’

  She took a deep breath. ‘You’ve always had it easy.’

  ‘Easy?’

  ‘That’s not what I meant. Hear me out, Ezra.’

  A brief pause passed before she continued, giving me enough time to gather my thoughts before I filled the air with obscenities towards my one-time best friend, who now appeared to be a shadow of her former self. Our damaged friendship was irreparable.

  ‘You’ve always found it easy to find a man. Someone to make you happy. You were lucky when you got that money from the criminal injuries board.’

  ‘Lucky?’

  She continued without looking away from the floor or acknowledging my horror at her words.

  ‘You had a lovely apartment, the chance to start over. While I always seemed to struggle.’

  ‘You have Nate.’

  ‘Not any more.’

  ‘He broke up with you?’ I wasn’t surprised.

  She nodded, glumly.

  ‘I deserve happiness. I deserve Blake. He makes me happy.’

  I realised after saying this that I hadn’t even met Blake when the phone calls started, her breathing heavily down the phone frightening me into believing that Tyler was stalking me.

  As if able to read my mind she said, ‘I didn’t make those calls. I really didn’t. I wouldn’t do that.’

  ‘They may not have charged you but I know it was you.’

  She turned to me then, I glanced out of the window to see Blake sat in the driver’s seat, winding down the window to allow the misted interior windows to de-steam. I was avoiding eye-contact because something unsettled me, and I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.

  I felt her hand reach out to touch mine briefly, swiping it away again when I pulled my hand away from my knee to scratch away the feeling of discomfort from my neck.

  ‘I promise you it wasn’t me. The notes and the window, yes, but not the calls.’

  ‘Then who was it?’

  ‘Do you even need to ask?’

  I looked at her then, really looked at her. Taking in the tearful eyes, the worried expression, the feeling of hopelessness that filled her very core, sending out waves of sadness that almost beat like a physical drum in the atmosphere.

  ‘It was him. It had to be.’

  ‘Tyler?’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘Blake.’

  BLAKE

  She ran from the flat, the door banging back and forth in the wind. The sun had left a warm haze in the air against the backdrop of a moody sky. I looked up expecting a few dotted rain drops to fall, but the sky was showered only with clouds.

  Ezra jumped into the car and began to cry.

  ‘She tried making out that it was you. That you made those calls. As if what she did wasn’t so bad.’

  I wasn’t going to say “I told you so” so I put my arms around her to console her and started the engine as soon as her tears had abated. I wanted to get her as far away from Maddie and her disgusting lies as possible. But as I turned the car out onto the road a hand fell against the bonnet and the door swung open on Ezra’s side.

  ‘You have to believe me. It was him,’ she said, pointing at me.

  ‘Directing your anger and hate at me now that Ezra has told you she wants nothing more to do with you isn’t going to be taken lightly.’

  I flashed her a warning look that said, “don’t mess with me,” and she turned on her heel and sauntered off back to the flat.

  Ezra gave me a lopsided smile and sunk down into the seat to avoid eye-contact with Maddie.

  ‘Is that the end of it?’ I asked her, almost an hour later as we reached the lane where several reporters stood, eagle-eyed ready to take a few snaps of the victim.

  Ezra was no victim. In my eyes, she was a strong-willed woman who I respected and loved. I wasn’t going to allow anything to come between us.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, taking my hand in hers as we walked together towards the house.

  EZRA

  I followed Blake into the house and we sat in silence as the night drew near. The darkness enfolded us in its embrace as we ate and snuggled up on the sofa. Feeling the beat of his heart as I lay my head against his chest while he spoke softly into my ear, stroking me as though I were a pet. I was content. More at peace than I’d ever been before.

  I breathed in the scent of his cologne and allowed him to gently caress the nipple that stood erect beneath my jumper. Whimpering when he gave it a tight squeeze, gasping as he lifted the jumper up and took my breast in his hand, working away the tender ache of my sore nipple between his fingers. He leant down and began to suck, nibble and lick away the agony that burned between my thighs as I imagined him taking me there and then.

  But he didn’t.

  He dropped his hand, allowing the jumper to fall back down and cover my braless breasts. Taking my hand, he lead me into the bedroom and with a kick of the door it slammed behind us. There was nobody in the house, but the added restriction accentuated my nerves, sending prickles of anxiety down my spine as I took in the gleam in his eyes as he motioned for me to lie back on the bed.

  With one hand down my jeans and his other threading his fingers through my hair, tugging on it until I cried out with the familiar sensation of pleasure-pain I’d grown to love, he knelt over me and whispered in my ear all the things he was going to do to me as I lay helpless below him.

  It didn’t hurt when he slapped my tits and began finger fucking me. I didn’t wince when he tugged down my jeans and knickers, tossing them onto the floor and spreading
my legs to lay a few light slaps to my inner thighs. I didn’t gasp as he tweaked my clit between his thumb and forefinger. Neither did I cry out when he lay a harder, more focused slap to my aching wet pussy. But when he turned me over onto my front and I heard him unzip his jeans I clenched my legs instinctively to make accessing me that little bit more difficult.

  He struck me once, twice, and again, harder, before I relaxed into position and accepted his cock pressing against my arse.

  I both craved and loathed the beginning. The knowledge that it was going to hurt before my body opened up to him, the inevitable feeling of fullness as my muscles relaxed around his cock, the focused pumping action that eventually resulted in an orgasm so strong it made my legs quiver and my eyes water. The anticipation of anal sex was almost as exciting as the heightened emotions I felt right before a punishment.

  The waves of pleasure took over the biting sting of his thick manhood as he swamped my insides and left me shaking with relief and the urge to fight him off me. When he came, he pressed deeper turning my moans into a guttural roar that only he could tell meant that I’d cum too. He slipped out of me and wiped his juices in the crack between my cheeks. I couldn’t look him in the eye as he crept out of the bed, returning with a wipe to rid the mess from my skin. But I did give him a backwards glance when he saw that I had no intention of moving from the bed. I intended to lie there until he’d fulfilled his daily need to leave a mark on me. It felt like a naughty love bite. A sign that I’d been owned.

  I felt his hot breath on my arse before he bit me hard enough to leave four teeth marks that would remain there until the next time we made love. I’d been branded as his, but only he and I knew that it was there. It was a dirty little secret I enjoyed keeping. A moment of pleasure between us that would last as a reminder of his love for me, and my love of being overpowered by the strong, handsome man I’d married.

  Blake fed my desires. He understood my need to be dominated. My yearning to be held, protected and pushed to the brink of my self-imposed boundaries. I would allow him to take me to the brink of ecstasy and beyond the bar of pain for my own gratification. My womanhood was being attended to by Blake’s masculine energy. I wanted it no other way.

  BLAKE

  I enjoyed challenging Ezra. I liked the way her uncertainty left a rosy tint on her face and her eyes gleamed with apprehension each time I broke one of the uncoded rules we hadn’t yet made. She assumed I wanted to dominate her, to fulfill some long-held fantasy of pushing Ezra to the limits of her pain threshold and beyond into something more pleasurable, but she had no idea that to me, it was much more than that.

  I didn’t get turned on by the thought of punishing her. My body responded to her feigned struggle as she lay across my lap. Her arse in the air, kicking and writhing against my pulsating manhood. The sound of the first strike snapping the air and landing down hard on her pale skin, turning it a blushing red, as her face appeared when she turned to catch sight of my burning desire to feed into her need to be chastised.

  What made my heart ache was the sight of her crimson rear, shaped by my hand or whatever other implement I’d chosen. Her tearful eyes, the look of fear washed over with relief as she gave in to her punishment and accepted the consequences of her misbehaviour.

  The arrangement suited us perfectly. As a couple, I was able to fulfill my desire for a quiet life and she, in turn, received her need to submit to me. However you took it, we both were able to get what we wanted from one another without having to speak of it. It worked.

  EZRA

  On the outside, we looked like any other normal couple. You might have seen us walking hand-in-hand down the street beside you. You may have witnessed him whispering what you thought were sweet nothings in my ear. But you’d be wrong. He held my hand to remind me who was in charge. He was whispering in my ear to ensure nobody else heard the things he was going to do to me later in bed if I broke any of his rules. And I was happy that way.

  Lying in bed beside Blake I felt comforted, cherished, and so utterly and completely in love. I didn’t want that feeling to end. I wanted to lie there, our hearts beating almost in sync, forever.

  I glanced around the room and noticed the leather whip tied to the wall, the set of handcuffs left purposefully on the top of the bedside cabinet, the feather tickler on the floor and the erotic book collection in the bookcase, and I breathed out a sigh of relief that finally, I could be myself. Those items were a symbol of trust. I trusted Blake to take care of me, and he for me to worship him.

  Ezra DeSilva could go. I could be Bethany Stone again. The woman I was. The woman I’d always been. The woman who took no shit from anyone, but still, when the need arose became Blake’s submissive. A role I felt more than comfortable in.

  The life I’d chosen felt right.

  I looked down to where Blake lay, enfolding me in his arms and I smiled.

  I was home.

  BLAKE

  Her behaviour had improved. I still, occasionally had to remind her of her place, when she’d begun to display damaging behaviours, but that wasn’t often those days. And one of those days would forever be remembered.

  The day she came to me with the news that she was carrying my child.

  I swooped her up in my arms and held her body to mine.

  ‘Put me down,’ she cried, a huge grin coating her face.

  ‘You have no idea how much this means to me.’

  ‘I think I do,’ she said, kissing my cheek.

  I had loved Ezra DeSilva from the moment I’d met her, but right then I fell in love with her all over again.

  I thought of Ezra with a babe in her arms and felt like the luckiest man alive.

  My budding flower had truly blossomed, and I felt blessed.

  EZRA

  I held onto Blake for dear life as I felt his arms wrap themselves around me, keeping me close, protecting me. He was my saviour. The love of my life. And that babe, the one I kept safe, already providing a nurturing sanctuary for him or her, was my final surrender to Blake. I was glad of the prospect of being a mother and a wife. Because with Blake, I knew I could trust him to provide the stability and security the babe and I needed.

  I hope you have enjoyed reading The Man I Love. The full three-part trilogy titled The Man I Need: a novel is now available to pre-order in both eBook and paperback for release in May 2017.

  Please leave your review on Amazon.UK/Amazon.US and Goodreads to enable other erotic thriller lovers to find my work.

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  Read on for a short extract of Surrender, a BDSM novella, available to buy now from the best-selling author of The Man I Need trilogy, Loretta Steel.

  SOPHIE

  We’d been married for ten years. Ten years!

  I’d met Jason in a pub on a night out with the girls. We’d invited him and his friends to tag along with us to the nightclub and as the drink and gleaming lights overtook all rational thought I’d dragged him into the ladies for a quick fumble that had eventually lead to sex back at my apartment. I wasn’t drunk, but I wasn’t used to taking the lead and instigating sex either. The Dutch courage had seen to that. I’d never had a one night stand before and certainly not with a man I’d only just met. But Jason turned out to be the perfect catch, because after a send, then a third fuck followed by a whirlwind six months of dating he’d asked me to marry him.

  I suppose that was when I realised I had to be honest with him. That included telling him how I earned a living.

  I was a professional submissive. I got paid to fulfill men’s fantasies and fetishes, and pay it did. I was loaded. But I also knew that no man would ever want to marry a woman who willingly acted a slave to another man’s dominant kinks. It just wouldn’t work. Which was why I was surprised after I’d sat him down and explained how I earned an income, Jason was only too pleased to tell me that he’d been searching for a new sub. He said I fit the role per
fectly. I couldn’t believe my luck.

  Only with a hectic work schedule and a busy career in finance, Jason had enough money to enable me to give up the day job. Something that took me until he’d proposed to give up-completely. Only the need to be dominated outweighed my need to start a new life so I told him, under no uncertain terms that he’d better make it worth my while. And that he did. Only, well, you could say real life had got in the way. His job for one, the twins came a close second. I felt too mumsy to fulfill the role of a submissive so when he told me that he’d found a nursery and thought it was time for me to return to my role I didn’t think twice.

  Five years later, the boys in school, I’d just settled down on the sofa to enjoy a film in peace when I heard Jason’s key in the lock.

  ‘You’re home early?’

  ‘I’ve taken the day off.’

  ‘No more work to do?’

  ‘No,’ he said, drawing a set of handcuffs from his coat pocket. ‘Just you and me.’

  I eyed the handcuffs and breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn’t forgotten then. Friday’s had been our night of kink back before the children came, we’d often spend the evening (as Jason finished work early) in bed. Well, I’d be in bed, usually handcuffed to it, and he’d be stood over me holding the whip or deciding which dildo to tease and fuck me with as I lay powerless beneath him.

  Only that day, he had something a little different in mind.

  Okay, so it wasn’t anything I hadn’t done before. I’d been bound, gagged, blindfolded, butt-plugged, whipped and pussy fucked, but that day he wanted to turn the tables. I’d get what I wanted if he got what he wanted. That was the deal.

  I thought it was fair.

  The children were being collected from school by my Christian mother-in-law who had absolutely no idea what a filthy minded man she’d brought into the world.