Firebird

by Iris Gower

  ‘I suppose I want to oversee all those things. I think my ambition is to make the Savage Pottery as well run and as successful as your father’s pottery.’

  ‘And I thought you said you had no ambition!’

  ‘No, Joe said that. He was trying to tell me the same thing as you but in a different way. I’ve done a great deal of growing up over the past months,’ Llinos said.

  Eynon squeezed her hand. ‘You have become a woman, no, a lady, since that first time I saw you.’

  He lifted her fingers and kissed them. ‘I love you, Llinos, do you know that?’

  Llinos rose from the seat. ‘Come on, enough flattery. It’s getting chilly sitting here. Let’s walk.’

  They left the park and Llinos thought with a tinge of wistfulness that to anyone watching they might have looked like a happy couple deeply in love. Was she destined to always meet men who were unsuitable in one way or another?

  She smiled up at Eynon and he, unaware of her thoughts, smiled back. She slipped her hand through his arm and sighed inwardly. One day, perhaps, she would forget Joe and fall in love with another man but somehow, she did not believe it.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  ‘You should have talked this over with me, Llinos.’

  Binnie was staring at her across the kitchen table, his face flushed. It was clear he was very angry.

  ‘You and me been good workmates, good friends,’ he continued, ‘but that doesn’t give you the right to run my life.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Binnie, I didn’t think . . . I was only trying to help.’

  ‘Do you want me and Maura out of here so bad that you’d push us in with that toffee-nosed fop?’

  ‘It’s not like that,’ Llinos protested. ‘Anyway, I thought you liked Eynon.’

  ‘He’s all right for a Morton-Edwards but living with him, well that’s something different. Anyway, for a start, I don’t want to get married.’

  ‘Well you can be unmarried at Eynon’s house just as well as you can anywhere else, can’t you? For heaven’s sake, Binnie, stop thinking of yourself and your pride, think of Maura and the child she is having. Your child.’

  He rubbed at his thick, coarse hair. ‘I don’t know, Llinos, I just don’t know what to do or what to think. Perhaps I’m not ready for . . . for all this.’

  ‘Well, that is just your bad fortune, then, isn’t it?’ Llinos was growing angry. ‘You were ready to take Maura to bed, weren’t you? Man enough to make her pregnant. Are you not man enough to face up to the consequences?’

  Binnie sighed and sank into a chair. ‘This has been my home for so long.’ He rubbed at his eyes and suddenly he seemed like the youth he was.

  ‘But everything changes, Binnie. Mr Cimla changed things for us, didn’t he? He threw you out and Maura’s family were good enough to take you in. Are you to repay them by failing their daughter when she most needs you?’

  ‘Oh, for God’s sake, Llinos, don’t preach!’

  ‘And don’t you blaspheme!’ Llinos brushed a stray curl of hair away from her face. ‘I’m sorry, Binnie. You’re right, it’s none of my business.’

  He looked across the table at her. ‘Truth to tell, I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘Take your time, Binnie, just take your time and let me know what you decide once you’ve thought about it.’ Llinos sighed heavily. ‘How can I expect to sort your problems when I can’t deal with my own?’

  ‘What problems have you got, Llinos?’ There was not a little sarcasm in Binnie’s voice.

  ‘Plenty! For a start I no longer have a place here,’ Llinos said. ‘I’ve been used to taking charge; used to working hard, taking all the responsibilities for running the pottery. Now there is nothing for me to do, I feel lost.’

  ‘Aye, I can see that right enough.’

  Llinos reached across the table and took Binnie’s hand. She saw the warmth in his eyes, knew how much affection and loyalty he still felt towards her.

  ‘I will be even more lost if you and Maura move out but I thought it was best for you.’

  ‘It’s good of you to put me and Maura before your own feelings but . . . oh, I don’t know.’

  ‘This is a good chance, Binnie,’ Llinos said. ‘Maura will have a position with fair wages and a roof over her head and, better yet, a place where her baby will be welcome. You won’t find such security anywhere else.’

  ‘I like Eynon well enough.’ Binnie was uneasy. ‘But then I’m not comfortable when I’m around him. He’s too posh, not one of us.’

  ‘So you are a snob, are you, Binnie?’ The irony in Llinos’s voice was not lost on Binnie and he flushed.

  ‘All right, I’m a fool. We’ll take him up on his offer.’ He squared his shoulders. ‘Where’s Maura, have you spoken to her?’

  Llinos shook her head. ‘I wanted to know how you felt first.’

  Binnie rose to his feet and on an impulse touched her cheek. ‘You are a wonderful person, Llinos. One day some man is going to be very lucky.’ Silently, Joe appeared in the room and Binnie drew his hand away. He nodded affably to Joe and went outside into the yard.

  After he had gone, a heavy silence hung over the kitchen. Somehow, Llinos was reluctant to meet Joe’s eyes. After a moment, he took her hand and drew her to her feet. She stood before him, aware that she was trembling. He tipped her face up and studied her and it was as if he was memorizing every feature. His eyes were so blue, so unreadable, and she knew.

  ‘You are going away?’

  He nodded. ‘Just for a time.’

  She wanted to beg him to stay. ‘Why, where are you going?’

  ‘My father is sick. I was reluctant to impose my presence upon him but now I regret it. I may have left it too late.’

  She did not even ask how he knew, she had become used to his strangely powerful intuition. ‘You will come back?’

  ‘As soon as I can.’ He placed his hands along her cheeks, his fingers capturing her. Slowly, he bent and touched her lips with his.

  His mouth was hot, passionate and yet gentle, drawing an instant response from her. It was the first time she had experienced a lover’s kiss and it was a shimmering light. An awakening. She felt she would never be the same again.

  He released her. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise.’

  She felt frightened, reluctant to let him go. ‘Joe . . .’ She put her arms around him, burying her face against the crisp shirt front, breathing in the exotic scents of him. Briefly, he held her close and she felt his heart beating against hers and then, on silent feet, he left the room.

  ‘Duw, don’t those pots look lovely then?’ Lily had grown adept, her small fingers handling the brush with a skill she had not known she possessed.

  Llinos smiled at her. ‘Are you happier working with the paints than with the paper patterns, Lily?’

  ‘You can bet your last penny I am, Miss Savage.’ Lily’s eyes shone wickedly. She lowered her voice. ‘At least I’m out of reach of Mrs Smedley’s sharp tongue.’

  ‘Well, that’s an improvement. Here, let me show you an easier way of creating a flat edge. Take your brush, see, this one here.’ She chose a brush from the pot and showed it to Lily. ‘See, it has a broad, flat edge. Press into the paint like this, sharply. Now, a quick movement of the hand and you have your rock outlined against the sky. Drag the paint downwards, see how it thins, appearing like the crevices in the mountain?’

  ‘You are clever, miss.’ Lily’s eyes were admiring.

  ‘It’s just practice. Right, I’ll leave you to it.’ Llinos was aware that her presence sometimes had the effect of creating tension among the artists. Some of them were highly skilled, used to handling paint on china but, to a man, they had their own views on how a job should be tackled.

  One of the painters was a local artist born less than a mile from the Savage Pottery. David Briars executed the most intricate design with an ease that impressed Llinos. He was more used to the flower designs used on fine porcelain than the bold Indian patterns
he painted now on pottery and yet his work was exquisite.

  ‘That’s lovely, David.’ Llinos admired the Indian brave, head raised to the skies, hair flowing, and saw in the noble features something of Joe. ‘May I have that one when it’s finished?’

  ‘You certainly may, Miss Savage. It will need to be fired first but then you know that.’

  Llinos smiled. ‘What’s that there, in the distance, a figure, a spirit?’

  ‘It will be the Indian’s woman.’ David smiled. ‘A flight of fancy on my part. Shall I paint her out?’

  ‘No. But leave her as she is, insubstantial. Ephemeral.’ She left the smell of paint and clay and walked out into the cool air. She wanted to hide away and cry. She was missing Joe more than she could have believed possible. It was as though he had become part of her. No, as if he always had been part of her. And now that part was missing.

  When she crossed the yard she found her father sitting in the doorway of the house. ‘Come here, my dear, there’s something I want to talk to you about.’

  It was dim in the parlour after the winter sun outside. ‘What is it, Father?’

  ‘I have been thinking about your future, Llinos.’ An icy finger trailed a line down her shoulders.

  ‘Yes?’ she asked.

  ‘Well sit down, for heaven’s sake!’ He was edgy and it showed. ‘I think it is about time you attended some sort of ladies’ school. I want you to be trained in all the things young ladies should know.’

  ‘I don’t want to go away.’ Her tone was flat.

  ‘Well, I do want you to go away,’ he said. ‘Look, Llinos, I’m a cripple but I am not blind. You are becoming too friendly with Joe and it will not do.’

  ‘I am proud to have Joe as a friend,’ Llinos said defensively. ‘He’s a fine man. Well-educated with excellent manners. He is intelligent and more than that he has senses that we do not have.’

  ‘I agree with all that but he is a half-breed, never forget that, Llinos.’ Her father’s face was set. She could see that he was determined to have his way.

  ‘He saved your life, have you forgotten that?’

  ‘I have forgotten nothing.’ He spoke sharply. ‘I repeat, Joe is a half-breed, he is not a suitable companion for you.’

  ‘I love him, Father.’

  ‘Love him? What do you know about love? Llinos, you are little more than a child.’

  ‘I am a child who needed to grow up rather quickly, Father. Remember, I kept this pottery working almost single-handed.’

  ‘You are going to school,’ he said. ‘I will brook no refusal, Llinos.’

  She was about to speak when there was the sound of a crash from upstairs. Llinos spun quickly towards the door.

  ‘Maura?’ She was taking the stairs two at a time, her skirts lifted above her knees.

  Maura was kneeling on the floor, the shards of a broken jug around her. ‘I’m sorry,’ she gasped, her arms hugging her swollen figure. ‘I should have called someone before, I’ve been having pains for hours, the baby is coming.’

  ‘All right, there’s nothing to worry about. Just keep calm and everything will be all right. Here, let me help you onto the bed.’

  Maura shook her head. ‘No, I can’t. Let me just kneel here a minute till the pain passes.’

  ‘I’ll fetch Celia, she’ll know what to do.’

  Maura shook her head. ‘No! You can’t leave me, there’s no time to fetch anyone else, you’ll have to help me.’

  ‘But I don’t know anything about childbirth and neither do you, this is madness.’

  ‘You’ve got to help me!’ Maura insisted, clutching her swollen belly. ‘There’s nothing else for it.’ She bent her head to her chest, her eyes tightly closed, and cried like an animal in pain.

  ‘All right, I’ll do what I can.’ Swiftly, Llinos brought water from the kettle, clean cloths from the cupboard and newspaper to protect the mattress. That was if ever Maura consented to lie on the bed, she thought drily.

  ‘A pair of scissors, you’ll need those for cutting the cord.’ Maura had relaxed as the intensity of the contraction abated.

  Llinos swallowed hard. She hesitated and Maura looked up, her eyes desperate.

  ‘Sure ’tis easy enough, seen the old biddy in Greenhill bring two of my sisters into the world, ’tis I do all the hard work.’

  Llinos pushed up the sleeves of her dress. ‘What shall I do?’

  Another contraction contorted the face of the Irish girl. She shook her head, unable to speak. Llinos knelt beside her and rubbed the girl’s spine in rhythmic movements. Maura looked up gratefully as the pain eased.

  ‘I’d best get on the bed or my babe will be born on the floor.’ Awkwardly, she manoeuvred herself into a lying position, half on her side. Sweat beaded her forehead. She screwed up her eyes as another contraction caught her and growled deep in her throat. ‘I need to bear down, help me, please.’

  Llinos acted on instinct. ‘Here, put your foot against my shoulder, it should help.’

  ‘Push my petticoats aside, let the baby have room to come out.’ Maura gasped. ‘Oh my Lord, help me!’ She did not speak again. Her eyes were tightly closed, her face red with effort. Sweat darkened the red of her hair and, watching her, Llinos wondered if the Irish girl was going to die.

  The dark crown of the baby’s head appeared and Llinos looked at it in wonderment. ‘It’s coming!’ Llinos’s voice was urgent. ‘Have courage, it won’t be long now.’

  She felt her own belly grow tense as though her efforts could be added to those of the Irish girl.

  ‘I must rest.’ Maura fell back against the pillows, her face beaded with sweat. ‘I’ll bear down again in a minute but I must have rest.’

  The head of the child seemed to recede and Llinos wondered desperately if she should have done more to help bring it into the world.

  ‘It will take a bit o’ time,’ Maura said, ‘don’t worry, I’ll tell you what to do when the time comes.’

  Maura was right. The labour was protracted. Together the two girls fought with nature. Maura was weakening; even to Llinos’s inexperienced eyes it was clear that some action needed to be taken.

  When the urge to bear down came again, Maura’s whimpering turned into the strange, inarticulate sounds of a creature in pain.

  As the baby’s head came forward, Llinos grasped it firmly. ‘Come on, then, push it out! I’m helping you. One last effort, Maura, just one last effort.’

  Miraculously, the head of the child emerged, eyes closed, doll-like features turned towards Llinos. ‘I think it’s a girl,’ she said softly.

  ‘Turn the shoulders round,’ Maura gasped. Her hands clutched the pillows, her face drained now of colour.

  The baby was slippery but Llinos held the shoulders firmly as with a last effort from Maura the infant slipped into the world.

  ‘The afterbirth will come soon,’ Maura said. ‘You must tie the cord in two places and cut it.’ Maura could scarcely speak, her strength was spent. ‘Don’t worry about the blood, ’tis normal enough to lose a little at the moment of birth. Can you do it?’

  ‘I’ll cope.’ Llinos hesitated, trying to control the trembling of her hands and then, with a firm stroke, she severed the cord. It pulsated with a life of its own and Llinos marvelled at what she had helped to achieve.

  The baby began to gurgle and Maura lifted her head. ‘Put your finger in its mouth, hold the child face down, that’s right, clear its throat.’

  The baby let out a hearty cry. Llinos looked down at the small creature with a sense of awe. She wanted to laugh and to cry all at the same time. She had helped in this miracle of new life and it was a wonderful feeling.

  ‘It’s a girl! I knew it would be. Here, Maura, do you want to hold her?’

  Maura nodded, a smile widening her lips. Her eyes shone as she cradled the child against her breast.

  ‘The afterbirth, you must wrap it in paper and burn it, ’tis cleaner that way.’

  Llinos worked methodically.
She changed the sheets and made Maura comfortable in the clean bed that smelled of lavender.

  ‘Now, I think we both deserve a nice hot cup of tea,’ Llinos said.

  Maura smiled. ‘You more than me by the look of it.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Will you send Binnie up to see me, please? I want to show him his daughter.’

  As Llinos left the room there were tears trembling on her lashes. She felt exhilarated and yet drained of energy. She ran downstairs and out into the yard anxious to find Binnie. He would be so proud of his new daughter. Once he saw her, everything would be all right, he would marry Maura and they would live happily ever after.

  ‘So, the doctor complimented you on your midwifery?’ Lloyd Savage tapped a pencil against the arm of his converted chair. ‘I must confess I never thought you could be so practical in an emergency, I congratulate you.’

  Llinos bent and kissed her father’s springy grey hair. ‘There is a great deal you don’t know about me, Father.’ She spoke gently but her words held an undercurrent of reproof.

  ‘So it would seem. I still think that you would benefit from some proper schooling. It is not appropriate for my daughter to be taking on tasks that rightly belong to the peasant stock.’

  ‘That “peasant stock” as you call it comprises my friends. Binnie, Watt, old Ben, how would I have survived without them?’

  ‘You see?’ Her father turned his hands palms upwards. ‘That is just the point I’m trying to make. You will become a hoyden, unfit to take your place in society.’

  ‘You don’t fool me, Father,’ Llinos said. ‘It’s just Joe, isn’t it, all the rest is simply an excuse.’

  ‘It is, of course, and can’t you see the sense of that, girl? Anyway, I have written to Caswell Ladies’ college; they have a place for you there.’

  ‘I will not go.’ Llinos spoke flatly. ‘If you try to force me I’ll leave home.’

  ‘And how will you live without my support?’

  ‘I will live as I did when you were in France.’ She looked at her hands. ‘I can pot with the best of them, you know that, Father.’

  He was frowning angrily. ‘You mean you would take up a position with the Morton-Edwards lot?’