My Insanity (The Insanity Series Book 1)

by Martin Länger

  “Spare me,” Gwyn deflected his usual charade. “There are still many things we don't understand yet.” Gwyn was ready to join up with their newfound acquaintances.

  “Fufu, sometimes you don't need to understand. Just feel it instead,” Delirias added while he hopped next to him on the remaining pieces of rubble.

  “Sometimes I truly hate you,” Gwyn responded with a light apathy.

  “Don't be so mean. Words are like swords. You have to wield them carefully. Even though they might be the only thing you'll ever wield properly, fufu,” Delirias giggled into his coat as Leandro started to approach them.

  “Thanks for the help. We couldn't have done it without you,” Gwyn reached out his hand once more.

  “We could've all been killed!” were the first words out of the tanned young man’s mouth. “I… I still can't believe someone would charge in as reckless as you did… b-but I'm still grateful. I also couldn't have done it without you,” he reached for Gwyn's hand and tightly held onto it.

  “Couldn't or wouldn't?” Delirias chuckled, followed by an intimidating glare from Destare. “Calm down, I'm just kidding, alright? You did a good job, tin man.”

  The four of them made up with each other and properly introduced themselves. Though there were some mixed feelings between the two parties, they did indeed seem to match themselves quite efficiently.

  “Ever since I've arrived here, one thing after another happened. I even met other humans with aspects, but it didn't go over so well either. I tried to keep a low profile, but it seems that there is no safe place for us to stay.“ Leandro explained to Gwyn who carefully listened.

  “I get what you're saying. We were on our way to the city of Pride, Magnus, and look what happened to us.“ Gwyn added.

  "That might still be our best bet," Leandro responded. “The only reason we came here was because a damn weirdo in a mask made us.“

  “Made you? Is he strong?“ Gwyn asked curiously.

  “From what I could gather … “ Destare needed to pause himself while talking. “He seems stronger than anything we've ever seen.“

  “He suddenly appeared and forced us to enter this abandoned city, even taking it so far that we had to enter this creepy dungeon,“ Leandro further explained. “But since then he seems to have vanished.“

  The two agreed that the initial plan of Gwyn still sounded like the most reasonable approach to their current situation. If Leandros pursuer had indeed left them, then they could safely reach the next city. Mangus, the city of Pride was set as their next goal after both of them were nearly just as clueless as they were when they arrived in this world.

  “You seem a little bit weird as well, but I'm glad we met. I don’t like being alone in this hellhole,” Leandro answered. “Shall we head out?” he asked with a smile.

  “Not yet. There is still something I want to check on,” Gwyn answered grinning himself.

  Feeling somewhat in control of his aspect and decisions, for the first time in his life, he explained to Leandro what he had seen and how there should be at least some surviving prisoners.

  “Are you mad?! Wasn't one suicide attempt enough for you? We should get out of here while they're scattered and fleeing,” Leandro raised his voice, seeming almost a little concerned about Gwyn.

  “We should use this opportunity. Their master is dead. I wasn't the only one they captured! We should do something.”

  The thick atmosphere was abruptly lifted by Delirias that patted Destare on his gigantic back.

  “Awesome trick you got yourself there, tin man. First, you puff up, and then you jab out. Sometimes I wish I could grow a few inches myself,” Destare was clueless as to how to react to the unique character that was Delirias.

  “Oh, don't you worry, you cute honorable knight. Even though I know what you are planning, I won't tell your little human about it. I'd also advise you to do the same, because otherwise there might be consequences that ain't quite as honorable, alrighty?” the white-haired aspect whispered into Destare’s ears and let up from him with a vicious wink. He returned to Gwyn’s side as if nothing happened.

  “Before you two girlfriends start a catfight, I may have an idea that satisfies both of you,” he then started to intervene in their argument.

  “And what do you circus clown propose? I feel like I've been invited to an asylum of crazy people,” Leandro retorted.

  “You should listen before you huff and puff, little ringlet,” Delirias pointed at his black locks. “What do you say to letting me and my wonderful partner handle the rest of the prisoners while you wait for us at the entrance of the building. How does that sound?”

  Leandro turned himself away, needing the help of Destare to cool his head.

  “Leandro, I don't think they risked their lives just to lie to us afterward.”

  “Pah, fine,” Leandro huffed. “We will wait. I hope it's not a mistake to trust you this much already…”

  “We won't disappoint you,” Gwyn said with a kind expression on his face, leaving Leandro dumbfounded as he didn't expect these exact words. In the end, they made up, and Gwyn made his way down below on his own. With the plan to escort anyone he finds to the front entrance where Leandro and his aspect would wait for them.

  Without losing time, both of them sprinted forward. Gwyn was leading the charge, still feeling intoxicated by the fight he just lived through.

  “What do you hope to find down here except another liability? Still not enough thrills for one day, huh?” Delirias spoke to him, but no answer was given to the companionable trickster that spoke to him. Determined and quickly they darted through the tight hallways until his aspect started to pick up yet another sensible topic.

  “Kikiki. So, did you deliberately not tell our handsome new friend about that guy they called Despair, or did you pretend that you have forgotten about it?” Delirias confronted Gwyn while they made their way downwards through the mold infested corridors and staircases.

  “I will tell him whenever I feel that his life's in danger, okay? This is not the time to discuss my deficits as a human being.”

  “Oh, but what better time than now? You will soon look for another distraction and keep going until you eventually ask yourself, ‘how did you end up here?’” yet Delirias shook his head. “But I don't think that's a deficit at all. It might be the most normal and unconventional thing about you. Even though you want my body for your own selfish needs.”

  The aspect started caressing his chest with his fingertips, moving downward slowly and carefully. He got closer to Gwyn's side, almost snuggling against him.

  “But there are moments where you cannot run away from yourself,” he whispered into his ear.

  Trying not to pay any attention to it, Gwyn focused his gaze onward and rushed along. With a smile, the man in the black-green coat followed him like his own shadow.

  “I will find my own answer,” Gwyn thought to himself nervously. “Even if I have to abuse the powers of my aspect. No matter how it ends. I want to choose for myself.”

  They roamed the dark catacombs, searching for prisoners, but were unsuccessful. The few cells they did manage to find were already opened up and empty. The scattered Personas they did find were beyond any help. They went on and on, while Gwyn struggled with his own doubts about himself. Delirias ranted on about his disapproval of giving up and the never ending feeling of dread that still surrounded this place of horror. The sickness inside of him was spreading like a virus, as he smelled and saw what had been going down in the lower parts of the crypt where every victim had been prepared. Only as he noticed something odd, he finally paused.

  Gwyn noticed a small slope. After what felt like an eternity of mold, death and nearly identical architecture, cluttered with urns, spider webs, and dust, he saw something at the bottom of the slope. It was sort of like a small training hall where you could watch from above, with a staircase leading down to it.

  “Fufuf, and what do we have here, huh?” Delirias grinned as his p
iercing green eyes widened themselves, staring at the bottom. Like a wild animal stalking in the deepest thicket, observing his prey, waiting for the ideal moment to strike. Eventually, even Gwyn could see what Delirias had preyed upon.

  In between these horrifying walls, they saw the face of a familiar looking woman and her partner who had his long brown hair braided to a ponytail, wearing a coat in red wine colors. Together it looked like they were freeing the last batch of the remaining prisoners. The neatly dressed man reacted immediately as Gwyn and Delirias were closing in on them.

  “Uninvited guests have arrived, Emily,” his voice sounded calm, yet serious.

  The woman wasn't bothered by this at all. Slowly, but cautiously, she removed the last shackles of the prisoner, while gently putting her hand on his shoulder before showing him the way.

  “Go on ahead. We will be right behind you. The others will await you right at the end. Do not be afraid. The night will soon be over, and you will be free.” Only after she was sure that all of them had left the dark catacombs, she took the time to turn towards her visitors. Her partner had already locked them into his stern gaze and crossed his arms. With an almost similar look of seriousness, the woman focused her attention on them. She was covered in dirt and mud. Her clothes in tatters, unkempt strains of hair everywhere and clearly visible bags under her eyes.

  It was obvious that she had lived through just as much of the horror that Gwyn experienced, yet her eyes remained unwavering and determined. He also noticed how Delirias was licking his lips, while his pupils sharpened, which prompted Gwyn to take initiative.

  “Woah, woah, let's all calm down, alright? We're not here to fight,” he said with an awkward smile and appeasing gestures.

  “What do you think Gieldan?” Emily asked as she turned to her aspect for confirmation.

  “We’ve met quite a few of them, haven’t we? He doesn't look like a threat, but his aspect… it's the one we briefly met at Lust’s tower,” he paused.

  “The guy you were worried about? He does look somewhat sinister,” Emily whispered back to him.

  Gieldan laid his hand on his holster and locked eyes with Delirias, whose green pupils were glowing maliciously in the dark gulf.

  As the atmosphere started to grow tense, Gwyn intervened once more.

  “Ahem,” he cleared his throat loudly to defuse the tension.

  “We were also on our way to free the other prisoners, but, to my surprise, you seem to have done a wonderful job already. You have my gratitude for that. I don't think that you remember it, but we've already met each other in Lust’s tower, though only for a brief moment. If you don't mind, we could talk about a lot and join forc-”

  “No,” she interrupted him directly. “Your intentions may not be ill-natured, or maybe they are, but I won't expose my group to any more uncertain dangers.”

  “Oh well, I won't force you,” he sighed.

  She seemed surprised, as she was expecting Gwyn to rant on about how he wanted to win her over for his goals. “I can even understand you. Partially, at least. Maybe I've gone a bit too far. I can imagine how hard it must be to trust someone in this cruel world. Even I don't know whether I'm truly gathering my marbles or not, yet here I am making one reckless decision after another, fearing that when the time comes, I will choose the most egotistical of them all…” Gwyn halted as he realized, that he had talked for much longer than he initially intended to. Shortly afterward the hall was wrapped up in laughter, as Emily held her stomach, almost in tears.

  “Y-you really don't make a compelling case for yourself,” she tried to answer as best as she could while holding back her hearty laughter. “I don't know about his aspect, but he certainly is a weird one,” she followed up with a response to her aspect, who tried to ignore it.

  “Well,” Gwyn rubbed over the back of his head trying not to take himself too

  seriously “I appreciate that. If you happen to think over your decision, let me introduce myself. I'm Gwyn, and this is my aspect Delirias,” who promptly turned himself away and towards the shadows at the mentioning of his name.

  “I've met another kind fellow, who helped us defeat the master of this rotten place. You should be safe to move on for now. If you want to join us, we will be traveling to the city of Pride. Maybe we will meet each other again because I would really like to get to know you,” Gwyn smiled, hoping he didn't overstep his boundaries.

  “I will think about that… Gwyn,” she happily responded, as if she realized that this may have been the only blissful moment since their arrival at the crypt.

  “My name is Emily Jaeger…” She halted as well, reflecting about herself. Thinking it might not be the wisest choice to open herself up, yet decided to go for it anyway.

  “When the dust has settled, I would very much like to talk with you as well,” she said with the warmest smile that the young man had ever seen.

  After nodding back at her respectfully, both of them disappeared before his eyes into the dark pathways of the sewers.

  “Well, well, looks like you are not getting any action today, kid. Kikiki,” the green-eyed trickster giggled beside him.

  “You know what Delirias? I'm seriously glad not everyone is like us. Even this world needs some thoughtful and cautious people like Leandro, while also needing brave ones like Emily.”

  “You always sell yourself short, Gwynny,” the aspect put his fingers on top of Gwyn’s head. “It's not about us versus them. It never was. You can be whatever you choose to be. A free man chooses the best of both worlds and carves his own path,” Delirias answered.

  Gwyn started smirking, even though he wasn't sure whether he should smile or frown. “Where did you steal that from, huh? But maybe it is true. Sometimes you cannot see both sides when you're all caught up on one of them,” he replied.

  “Fufufufuf, don't tell me this sudden insight occurred to you, just because you like her?! Because that would be a terribly shallow thing to do, even for you.”

  “No,” he coldly replied. “That's far from it.” Gwyn remembered Emily's determined look on her face, while also imagining her smile.

  He felt as if she had so much to give. So much that it was overflowing, ready for everyone to receive without cost.

  “There is more to it. I really wished that we had met under different circumstances. Otherwise, it might have been a real lovely encounter, but this is no place for love. It might as well be the final nail in the coffin that we carry on our backs.”

  A feeling of uneasiness overcame Gwyn as the silence returned to the room. Their goal was fulfilled and yet he didn't feel satisfied. For now, he was sure that Delirias had something up his sleeve, but it seemed that he was still in control. Which is why he marched right back, just as he had promised, hoping that he would notice the strings before it was too late.

  Just as Gwyn struggled with his recurring doubts about his aspect, he wasn't the only one with an odd topic of conversation.

  “Ksk, such a poser. As if we would follow them,” Gieldan remarked unimpressed.

  Emily moved on without a word. Though, she couldn't quite forget her unusual encounter.

  “Don't tell me you still think about that brat?” Gieldan asked in a jealous tonality, while they marched through the tight stone corridors.

  “Why not?” she smiled. “You still do, too.”

  With an irritated expression, Gieldan shook his head in response.

  “Bah, he was nothing more than a loser. Just like the last one we met,” the aspect remarked. “He wouldn't stand a chance in a duel with me.”

  Emily started to laugh again. “Please don't tell me the mighty Gieldan feels attacked in his pride, nay even jealous, that I'm giving my attention to someone else?!”

  “HMPF!” Gieldan turned his head away and huffed.

  She calmed her restive aspect, but couldn't wipe the smile off her face.

  Their ordeal was finally coming to a close. They were leaving behind all the muddy water and disgusting sm
ells, as the end of the tunnel was near. It already felt way too long since Emily had seen the beautiful night skies this world had to offer. In her thoughts, she was already thinking about Olivia and their newly founded group

  “Is the twisted world that awaits at the end of this tunnel the one I imagined, or will I be the one who's twisted?” she asked herself unconsciously.

  She looked downwards, into the dirty water at her feet, seeing her own sad reflection hurrying along. Suddenly she felt Gieldan’s hand on her shoulder and his neat ponytail waving in front of her face as he sprinted past her.

  “Doubt is never wrong in the right dosage, Emily, but now… now is not the time for doubt. The responsibility we created will be ours to bear, and ours alone to burden. But not without a smile,” he sneeringly shouted at her while running ahead towards the light in the distance.

  Fast moving steps were heard trudging through the water, and with a hopeful expression, Olivia was watching the sewage passage.

  “Phew, finally we made it out of there,” the voice of a man panted.

  Her expression transformed into disappointment as yet another survivor made it out of the canal, without Emily being anywhere in sight. Ideally, she should have rejoiced, as the promise her friend made to her was actually coming true. However, the only one she wished a safe return for was Emily herself.

  “I couldn't believe how dirty it was down there.”

  “And here I thought we would never escape from that horrible place,” the Personas continued to rejoice, some in tears, as they greeted each other. While there already was an impressive number gathered, made up of humans and Personas alike, Emily and Gieldan were nowhere to be found.

  Olivia kept asking around, but she would always receive the same answer. Nobody really knew. The more time passed, the more the anxiety grew inside of her and the fresh free folk alike

  “Maybe they couldn't make it?” one of them broke forth.

  “Such honorable people. I will always have a place for them in my heart.”

  “Just in case they got captured, we should try to think of a way to not let their sacrifice be in vain.”