Torn (Tattered Heart Duet Book 1)

by Brooke O'Brien

“Why? I mean, it’s not like we’re doing anything wrong. So, you’re lying on my bed. Big deal. It’s not like anything happened. We’re talking.”

  His lip quirks up at the side, as if he finds my defensiveness amusing before moving his arms behind the back of his head. He rolls over onto his back, staring up at the stars glowing on the ceiling.

  “I told you about my drawings. Those are personal for me. Now it’s your turn. Tell me something no one else knows.”

  I don’t know how much time passes as my eyes roam over the side of his face. The dark stubble on his cheeks adding a layer of definition to his perfectly sculpted face.

  “I sneak out of my house every night to sneak into yours. Sometimes it’s to outrun the nightmares of the life back home, other times it’s to escape the demons that plague me in my dreams.”

  I wait for him to explain more, not wanting to push him. The deep sigh he releases feeling more like the weight of the boulder sitting heavily on his chest.

  “It’s my dad; he hasn’t been the same since my mom passed away. When we found out she was diagnosed with cancer, we begged her to fight but it was too late. Stage four cancer doesn’t leave you with a lot of hope, I guess. She wanted to enjoy what was left of her life.

  “She struggled with the decision of whether to do chemo and I hated seeing how much the cancer was taking from her. I didn’t want it to take the last few months we had with her. When I told her it was okay, my dad lost it. He still blames me for it, for not convincing her to fight harder. I tell myself to just make it through the school year. I have enough credits to graduate early, but while I’m going to school, I can take extra college classes and they’re paid for by the school. I want to take advantage of it while I can, ya know?”

  Turning to lie on my side, I rest my cheek against my elbow listening to him. I want him to feel like I’m here with him, to know I care.

  “It’s okay though, really. He can be an asshole, but it’s nothing I’m not used to. I try to steer clear of him when he’s in his moods.”

  “I hate you have to sneak out to come over here.”

  “I like being here,” he whispers. I can’t help but wonder if he’s talking about here, in my room. He adjusts his head, looking back up at the ceiling.

  The time ticks by as my thoughts drift off, thinking about what life is like for him at home. My mind shuffles through the memories, pieces of information I’ve overheard and picked up over time.

  Sliding into the backseat of my mom’s old Volkswagen I reach back, grabbing the seat belt and click it into place. Glancing out the window, I listen as my mom and Dean bicker with each other about his choice in music.

  A few minutes later, we pull into the driveway at Maverick’s house. The grass is overgrown, and I notice one of the shutters is missing since the last time we were here. The sound of rain lightly beats down on the window.

  The door swings open and Maverick steps out wearing a jacket. He has the hood pulled up, covering his face as he presses his chin against his chest. His body looks tense and I soon know the reason why, as his dad tears out the door, following him, causing the screen door to slam at the side of the house.

  “What’s going on?” my mom mutters quietly, voicing my thoughts out loud. “He asked permission if he could come with us, right?”

  My eyes stay focused on Maverick. I watch as he grimaces. I can see the spit flying out of his dad’s mouth as his finger points at him, shouting. Maverick nods his head, acknowledging him before turning back toward us, looking embarrassed and dejected.

  “No, he just doesn’t like him,” Dean replies.

  I wish I knew what his dad was saying to him. I fight against the urge to open the door and defend Maverick. Nothing Maverick could’ve done warrants him talking to him that way, but I don’t. I know firing back at him would likely only make things worse on Mav and that’s the last thing I want for him.

  What kind of parent yelled at their kid like that? Hell, I understand not liking decisions they make or their behavior, but how could you not like your own flesh and blood?

  Maverick’s body slips into the backseat next to me, the look of apology in his eyes as he looks over at Dean murmuring an apology.

  I can sense my mother’s sadness watching the exchange, feeling terrible for how he was treated. She reassures him it’s okay and that she’s glad to have him joining us as she backs out of the driveway.

  As much as my mom doesn’t like the decisions I make, she’s never once talked to me the way Maverick’s father did just now.

  I want Maverick to know he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed or alone. In a bold move, I reach over and fold my hand over his resting in his lap. I can see his body tense out of the corner of my eye as he glances toward Dean. Finding us alone, he turns his head to look at me. I don’t want to see the rejection on his face, so I keep my eyes trained out the window.

  I’m not sure what I expected him to do after that but when I feel his hand turn over beneath mine, lacing our fingers together, I know it isn’t that. The butterflies in my stomach take off. I tell myself repeatedly this doesn’t mean to Maverick what it means to me. He is only holding onto the closeness I am offering him, something he obviously hasn’t felt in a long time.

  What he doesn’t know is what he is giving to me in return. Hope. Hope that he will someday see me as more than Dean’s sister, how much I care about him, and that he will eventually let me in.

  Hope that someday he will feel for me the same way I feel about him.

  Thinking back to that memory, my eyes run up Maverick’s stomach, to the subtle rise and fall of his chest up to his face. His eyes are closed, and his long dark eyelashes are feathered out along his cheek. I know by the quietness of his breath, he’s asleep.

  He looks peaceful, and in that moment, I’m grateful I can keep the monsters lurking around the corners at bay.

  At least for tonight.

  Four

  MAVERICK ~ THREE YEARS AGO

  Sweat drips from my brow and down my back as the sunshine beats down on me. Music blares from my headphones as I feel the wheels of my skateboard click over the cement beneath me.

  I wipe the sweat dotting my forehead on the sleeve of my T-shirt. It’s my first week living in Everton. My first week living in our new house, going to a new school, and here I am hanging out with my new friends.

  Or I should say I’m trying to.

  To be honest, I have no interest in making friends. Fuck, I don’t even want to talk to people most days. I’m just sick of being inside, fed up with listening to my dad do nothing but bitch at me. When the kid from my Biology class offered for me to hit up the skate park with him and a couple of friends, I jumped on the chance to get out of the house.

  I told him I’d meet them there. I didn’t even care that it’s eighty-two degrees outside. There are three weeks left in the school year and I know if there’s any chance of me having a decent summer, I want to take him up on the offer knowing this friendship would likely get me out of the house more this summer.

  “Mav, hey! What’s up, man?” I hear Dean’s boastful voice over the music as I remove my earbud, skating toward where he’s standing.

  There are people milling around downtown, walking along the boardwalk near the river. I maneuver my board around a couple walking, approaching me.

  “Woah, asshole. Watch where you’re fucking going.” I hear shouted from behind me.

  I quickly swerve, not wanting to crash into the person next to me. Bailing on my board, I lean back and come to a stop as a sea of brown hair and tan skin flies past me. The black Volcom hat covers her head as she turns back toward me grinning.

  “What the hell?” I mutter.

  “Ryan, why don’t you go somewhere else? Like, I don’t know, the mall?” I hear Dean shout. My brows furrow as I glance over at him, realizing he’s chastising her.

  Kicking the heel of my board, I grab it and walk toward where Dean and a group of guys are standing.

&nbs
p; “You know her?”

  “That’s my sister and the biggest pain in my ass.”

  “Do I look like the type of girl who wants to spend her Saturday shopping? Get fucking real.”

  As if I wasn’t distracted enough by the sheen of sweat covering her tan skin, her smart mouth and unfiltered thoughts would do it for me. My eyes follow her, watching as her hair blows in the wind behind her.

  She must be able to sense my eyes on her, watching her, as she skates around the people walking along beside her. Glancing over her shoulder, her eyes fall on mine as a small smile curls around the edge of her lips. It’s like she just punched me in the gut.

  “Dude, eyes off. That’s my sister. Don’t be getting any ideas because it ain’t gonna fucking happen. Not with me around.”

  Breaking eye contact, I come face-to-face with a stern Dean. He must be beating teenage boys off with a stick because one look at her, you’d have to be blind not to be captivated by her beauty.

  Within five seconds of being near Ryan, I know she’s dangerous for me. It’s like playing with fire and God help me, I like the idea of getting burned.

  * * *

  Waking up the next morning, my body feels still from sleeping with my arm stretched beside me. My shoulder feels like there’s a giant knot in it and I just want to get up and stretch.

  As soon as I move, I realize the error of my ways. My eyes jolt open and come face-to-face with a sleepy-eyed Ryan. My mind races through all the events that occurred last night and how I ended up asleep in her bed.

  Even with my discomfort from my sleeping position, I can’t remember the last time I slept so well. The side of her mouth curves up in a small smile as my lip curls up mirroring hers.

  “Morning,” I whisper. “I’m sorry. I remember us talking one minute and before I know it, I’m passed out in your bed.”

  Rolling onto my side, I lean in close to where Ryan is lying and do my best to climb over her. As soon as my leg is positioned on the other side of her body, I press my mouth against her ear.

  “I never thought I’d end up half naked and in your bed, Ryan Blake. Maybe in my dreams, but never in real life.”

  I can hear her suck in a deep breath, as I plant my foot on the floor next to her. Careful to avoid flashing her an embarrassing image of me, shirtless, sporting my massive boner, I adjust my cock so it’s pressed against the waistband of my shorts and turn to face her.

  “I guess I should probably head back over to your brother’s room. Neither of us need an angry Dean on our hands.”

  She doesn’t say anything, so I find myself scanning her face for any clue as to what she might be thinking. Her skin is soft as her eyes blink lazily from her tiredness. I want so badly to crawl back into bed next to her. It’s not even from wanting to be with her sexually. Even though I could feel a spark of something more between us when I touched her. Lying next to her, falling asleep with her by my side, was the first night I’ve felt a sense of calmness since before my mom passed away.

  I don’t want to lose it, which makes walking back into Dean’s room much more difficult.

  Slipping out of her bedroom, I’m careful when I close the door and enter Dean’s room. He’s still asleep and the sound of me entering his room doesn’t faze him in the least.

  Kneeling on the makeshift bed I had set up on the floor, I adjust the pillows and lie my head back. The hardness from the floor causes my back to ache, but I don’t complain.

  Reaching over, I slide my phone out of the pocket of my jeans. I’m surprised when I see it’s after eight in the morning. I know Ryan and I ran the risk of being caught, but I didn’t regret it.

  I never would.

  There is a missed text from a number I don’t recognize. Opening it up and reading the message, I’m able to piece together who it’s from. The weight of my impending decision making it even more difficult.

  Last night I opened myself up to Ryan about what my life is like at home. Knowing I’m so close to graduating, I’ve been keeping my head down and focusing on each day bringing me one day closer to getting out of this hell hole. I’m eighteen now, which means there’s nothing keeping him from kicking me out. The fact of the matter is, it’s the only place I have to go.

  Last week we had an army recruiter visit our high school talking to us about enlisting. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered it as an option. He said because of my grades, I would be eligible to graduate early and enlist right away.

  After fights with my father like the one we had last night, there’s nothing I want more than to get out of this town. Then, when I think about Ryan and after the night we spent together, it makes it harder to consider leaving. I’ve spent the past five years keeping my distance; I’ve stayed away but she’s eighteen now.

  I could run the risk of pushing away the only friend I have here, to fulfill the ache my heart has been craving.

  Rolling over, I push on my hands and move to stand. Looking over at Dean, he has the pillow draped over his face and his arm slung across the bed. I opt to send him a text as I fold up the blankets on the floor and slip out of the door.

  I pause, standing outside of Ryan’s room. I think about what she looks like in there, sleeping in her tank top and boxers, sprawled out on her bed. I picture her with her hair fanned out around her as her chest softly rises and falls with each of her shallow breaths.

  I fight against the urge to open the door and crawl back into bed next to her as I walk down the hallway and out the front door.

  The sun has started to rise and the birds chirp as I grab my skateboard from against the side of the house. Opting to walk, I take in the scenery around me and inhale the crisp spring air as I prepare myself for what is waiting for me at home. After the argument with my father last night, I know I shouldn’t waste any time doing the chores he has for me.

  When I’m home, I make a dash for the kitchen I open the cabinets and fridge, quickly taking inventory and making a mental note of everything we need before grabbing the credit card left out for me on the counter.

  Not bothering to stick around for long, I head back out the door and make the trip to the corner store a couple blocks up the street deciding it’s best to get it done now before he wakes up angry.

  Later that night after I met up with Dean and some of our friends to celebrate his birthday, we ended up checking out a concert in Des Moines. It’s after eleven by the time I make it home and I’m thankful when I find my father already asleep.

  My phone vibrates from where it’s sitting on the nightstand next to my bed.

  “What’s up?”

  “What are you doing? You sound like you’re sleeping. Dude, it’s Saturday night. Wake the hell up!” Graham voice booms through the phone.

  “Nah, just got home a little bit ago. Where the hell are you?”

  I can hear someone shout his name as he mutters, “hang on, baby.” I can only assume he’s talking to his girlfriend, Halle.

  “You going to answer the question or sit there and smack your lips in my ear?”

  “Sorry, man. She can’t keep her hands off me.” I roll my eyes.

  “Anyway, I’m in Everton for the night. We’re at a party over at my buddy’s house. He says he knows you. Castle, you know him?”

  “Yeah, I know him. We don’t run together but I know who he is.”

  “Well, you should come up. Castle mentioned Nadia was coming out and you know Ryan will be with her.”

  Graham is one of my good friends. We met when Dean and I were at the dirt track near Arbor Creek last year. He doesn’t live close to us, so we don’t see him often, but when the weekend comes he always makes sure he invites us to whatever party he’ll be at.

  He’s the only person who knows how I feel about Ryan. It’s because he’s too observant for his own damn good and nothing gets past him.

  He would never say anything to Dean, only for the fact he would want me to be the one to do it. He’ll spend his time annoying the shit out of me until
I do.

  “I was just about to put in a movie,” I lie.

  His throaty laugh filters through the phone. “You’re a liar. I know you want to see her tonight so don’t give me that shit.”

  I don’t bother to say anything because he’s right.

  “Alright,” I say, rolling over checking the time on the alarm clock next to me. It’s a quarter ‘til eleven. “I’ll take my dad’s truck and leave here in a few.”

  Knowing my dad is in bed now, he will never have any idea I’m leaving. There’s about an hour left of her birthday and nothing will keep me from ending it the way she started it.

  With me.

  Five

  RYAN

  “Happy Birthday to you,” Nadia sings.

  My eyes narrow into slits as I glance over at her. I don’t normally give a shit about birthdays but turning eighteen is a big day for me.

  “Don’t give me that look. You’re fuckin’ eighteen now. How excited are you about tonight?”

  I feel like we’ve been waiting for today forever. Mostly because in exactly a week, I’ll be sitting in that chair getting my first tattoo. I’m so pumped, I can hardly stand it.

  “I’m excited, alright? You haven’t even told me what the plan is, only how it’s going to be the party of the year,” I sigh, rolling my eyes before flashing her a smile.

  “Chill, will ya?” she retorts, drumming her hands against the steering wheel as we pull up to a stop light. “Castle said we could have a party at his place. His parents are gone and you know it’s far enough out of town, it’s not likely it will get busted.”

  Damon Castle is in our grade and has spent the past year doing anything to try and impress Nadia. Unfortunately for him, she doesn’t seem too interested in anything but keeping him firmly in the friend zone. He hasn’t taken the hint though.

  She slips her arm behind the seat and grabs a gift bag before shoving it at me.

  “I thought we decided no gifts?”

  “I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t get you a birthday present. It’s not a big deal.”