Guard

by Charity Parkerson

  Mara bit back a groan. It wasn’t the first time in her life someone had looked down on her profession. As ridiculous as Mara found it to be, there were still people who didn’t think acting was real work, or even worse, they still had the backwoods belief that actresses were the equivalent of whores. Damn it, she wanted Cal’s parents to like her. She was starting to think it wouldn’t happen.

  Silence filled the kitchen, and Mara fought the urge to peek through the window like a proper weirdo. Cal finally spoke before her nerves snapped. “She’s also a good person. I mean, to her core—good. She helps people, cares about them, and works nonstop at trying to make the world a better place. The world is ugly. It needs more people like her, and I don’t feel quite so fucked up when she’s around. I love you, and I’m sorry, but I can’t care what you think about her profession or any other aspect of her life. This isn’t about you.”

  Mara’s lips parted in surprise. She didn’t want his mom to hate her, but she’d also never had anyone sound so proud of being with her. The backs of Mara’s eyes burned.

  “I just want you to be happy,” Tracy said, cutting into Mara’s rush of emotions. “My point is you’ll probably have to fight off a lot of men to keep someone like her.”

  “Women too,” Cal said. Mara could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m not afraid.”

  “Would you walk with me?” Mara startled at Calhoun’s sudden appearance. She tried not to show her guilt over listening to Cal and Tracy’s conversation. Instead, Mara stood and accepted the elbow Calhoun offered—like a proper gentleman.

  “Of course.”

  He headed toward the lake in the center of their land. Mara matched his slow pace. Mara couldn’t deny they had a beautiful spread. Cal had mentioned on the flight they had over two hundred acres. Mara searched for anything to talk about. “This place is gorgeous.”

  “Thank you.” He sounded stern and distant.

  The air held its breath. She could feel the man’s thoughts brewing, and she got the impression he never spoke without first weighing every word. A true politician. She bit back a groan when he finally broke the silence. “I had you checked out before you came here.”

  Mara faked a small chuckle. “I don’t imagine you had to dig hard. My life is out there for everyone to see.”

  Calhoun didn’t look her way. “It wasn’t you the actress I was concerned with. I wanted to know more about you the person.”

  “Did you learn anything good?”

  He didn’t respond right away. Mara’s stomach twisted into knots. She didn’t have a lot of secrets, but the ones she had, she wouldn’t want shared with Cal’s parents. “You do a lot of humanitarian work.”

  “As one should when they’re more fortunate than others,” Mara said without hesitation.

  “I hear you also claimed the bodies of two of your ex-employees after a murder-suicide incident.”

  Wow. There it was. He didn’t waste any time with small talk. Mara refused to let her steps falter. For some reason she couldn’t explain, Mara couldn’t let this man see her as weak. “I did,” Mara said, surprising herself with how steady she sounded. “Landon didn’t have life insurance and his family couldn’t afford to bury him, so I did. Early’s family refused to claim her body after what she’d done. They were more than happy with me taking care of her.”

  Calhoun stopped by the edge of the lake. He finally looked over and met her gaze. “You sound like you feel as if you did the right thing despite the scandal it could’ve caused.”

  Mara hardened her voice. Fuck a scandal when talking about people losing their lives. “I don’t feel like I did the right thing. I know I did. Sometimes people are struggling with things no one else can see or understand. What happened was horrible and can never be undone, but—in my eyes—it doesn’t take away from how beautiful Early was until that final bad decision.”

  To her surprise, Calhoun smiled. “It’s good to hear that conviction in your voice. I worried my son might be just another act of charity or a way to make you look like a better person in the media. Plus, it’ll take a strong woman to handle the man who came home, and I imagine you could have anyone you want.”

  It had been a test. She wanted to be angry and insulted, and she was. Just not for herself. “You’re right. I can have anyone I want.” Mara left it to Calhoun to judge her words. He could take it as conceit, if he chose to do so, or he could be smart and realize Cal was who she wanted. “Being with Cal is the easiest thing I’ve ever done,” Mara added, because she couldn’t stop. “The man who came home is a damn good man.”

  Calhoun released a low chuckle. “I know. It’s as you said—some people just struggle with things people can’t see. Not everyone would be willing take that on, but your claiming those bodies proves you’re not like most people.” Mara realized Calhoun was trying to show his approval of her. She didn’t know what to say.

  Thankfully, Cal appeared, saving her. “Please tell me Dad’s not telling you the story of the time I almost drowned out here.”

  “You got here just in time,” Calhoun said, sounding bright. “I was just about to start.” Before Cal could stop him, Calhoun fell into the story of Cal sneaking out to go skinny dipping with some girl down the road and ending up getting CPR from an EMT with his dick out.

  Mara listened with half an ear, laughing in all the appropriate places. It was hard to pay attention with Cal wrapping her in his arms. His hard chest pressed against her back. He kissed the top of her head several times. Mara couldn’t stop smiling. She felt loved. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought. She’d been wrong in the past. What if she was a show to make his parents worry less? Mara held tighter to Cal’s arms. She’d reached for more in the past, only to get slapped down. Mara wouldn’t do it this time. She’d take whatever Cal offered and it would be enough—no matter what, because her heart wasn’t strong enough for another break yet. Even if Cal didn’t mean his touches, she didn’t feel broken when he held her. It was enough.

  “I see the two of you are only humoring me until you can be alone, so I’ll head inside.”

  “No, please stay,” Mara said, feeling bad for letting her mind wander.

  Cal covered her mouth. “Don’t listen to her. The heat is frying her brain.” Mara licked his palm. He didn’t move his hand away.

  Calhoun shook his head and laughed. “I’ve got to get ready for a fund-raising thing I have tonight anyhow. You two have fun, but not so much we have to call the paramedics.”

  Mara tried responding.

  Cal still wouldn’t let her. “See you later, Dad.”

  Mara balled up her fist and punched him in the thigh. Cal grunted but still didn’t release her until his father was gone. The moment they were alone, he dropped his hand. Before she could give him a piece of her mind, he spun her in his arms and kissed her. Her irritation fell away as his tongue brushed hers. By the time he pulled away, she couldn’t remember why she’d been aggravated in the first place.

  “Do you fish, Miss King?”

  Mara straightened her spine. “Sir, I am a Louisiana girl to my bones,” Mara said, using her thickest country accent. “Not only do I fish, but I won the Louisiana freshwater American bass tournament when I was twelve.”

  Cal’s laughter was beautiful. “Jesus. You’re something else. Come on,” he said, leading her toward the boathouse.

  “I’m being serious,” Mara argued, matching his pace. “It was a thirteen-hundred-dollar prize. I bought a purse.”

  Cal’s steps faltered. He glanced her way, looking disbelieving. “One purse?”

  Mara nodded. “It was a nice purse.” She thought about it for a second. “I can’t remember what happened to it. In truth, it was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen, but I’d heard it was the latest thing.” Mara kept talking as Cal gathered rods and reels from the boat house and loaded them on the boat sitting at the pier. “I was a tomboy and didn’t care about name brand anything unless it was bowling balls, because I loved to bowl. Anyhow
, Chandra Grey, she was the class idol, she always had the nicest handbags and everyone thought she was the shit. She was dating the boy I liked. I use the word dating loosely, because—you know—we were kids. Really, they just sat together at lunch, and I wanted him to sit with me. But I got it in my head, I would win this contest and buy this purse, then he would like me and not her.”

  Cal stopped what he was doing to focus on Mara, as if invested in her story. “And did he like you better than her once he saw your purse?”

  A smile exploded across Mara’s face at the memory. “Yes, but only because it turned out he was gay and it really was all about the handbag. He’s still my best friend. Oh,” Mara said, her story making her realize something important. “It’s just occurred to me you haven’t met Chase. We became best friends in school, but then he moved away. In a twist of fate, we both got famous and have starred in a few movies together.”

  Cal looked confused for a second. “Chase Freeman? I didn’t know he was gay. Not that it matters,” he tacked on. “I just thought he’d been dating some actress for a long time.”

  Mara snorted. “That actress was me, and no, we never dated. He’s married to an Olympic snowboard champion. Has been for years.”

  Cal helped Mara into the boat. “Huh. I guess I haven’t been keeping up with my celebrity gossip.”

  Mara shrugged as she claimed a seat. “You’re not missing anything.”

  Cal climbed in before focusing on her. “I don’t know if that’s true. Seems like I missed a lot of years I could’ve been stalking you.”

  Mara tried her damnedest to squelch a smile. He always said the best things. She loved it. After steering them out into the water, far enough where they could still see the roof of the house, Cal killed the engine. While Mara looked on, he cast out two lines and set the rods in the rod holders.

  Mara couldn’t stop her laughter. Not only had he not used bait, he hadn’t used anything. Cal simply tossed out an empty line. “It’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how you catch a fish.”

  Cal settled onto the floor of the boat before pulling her off her seat and in between his knees. She rested her back against his chest as he wrapped her in his arms. His lips touched he shell of her ear. Mara’s eyes fell closed. She loved these moments. “We’re not fishing,” he admitted against her ear. “If I know my mom, since we’re not married, we won’t be sharing a room. If I want you alone, this is the only way I’ll have it.”

  “I like the way your mind works.”

  Cal’s lips skimmed across her ear again. “If my dad dragged you out here to grill you, I’m sorry. He’s a politician. He spends a lot of time with liars.”

  Mara’s eyes were too heavy to open. She tried memorizing every nuance. “He’s a dad. It’s his job to make sure I’m good enough for you. If my mom was still alive, she would’ve had a background check waiting—complete with an annual earnings statement. She was brutal about protecting me.”

  Cal’s hand slid up her body until his fingers encircled her throat. He gently held her in place as sucked her lobe between his teeth. Mara’s nipples hardened. Her breath caught and a tingle began between her legs. His mouth on her skin was all it took. “I’ll get those things together for you, if you’d like.”

  “What things?” Mara asked, losing the threads of their conversation.

  Cal’s low chuckle rumbled against her skin and Mara fought the urge to moan. His hand moved from her throat, slipping down her body. “I wonder if you’re already wet for me.” She could answer, but she was willing to let him find out for himself. “These are cute shorts,” Cal said, tugging at the strings of her yellow cotton shorts. “Do you know what I like about them?”

  “What?” Even to Mara’s ears, she sounded breathless. “The waistband is stretchy,” he answered as he dipped his hand inside. Mara’s lips parted on a pant when Cal cupped her sex. “Damn, you are wet for me.”

  Mara fought the urge to grind herself against his palm. “Always.”

  One finger dipped inside her. Cal sucked in a ragged breath, as if her pleasure was his. “Of all the sexual acts I’ve seen over the years, this is the hottest. I can’t see what my hand is doing, beyond a bulge in your shorts, but I can feel you. You’re an image in my head. I can picture your flushed skin and wet folds. It’s almost as if your clit is on my tongue.” He found the nub he described and rubbed. A whimper came from the back of Mara’s throat. “That’s it, baby. I can make you feel good.”

  Mara gripped his thighs and hung on. “You always make me feel good just by existing.”

  Cal played with her clit. His other arm tightened around her. “It’s like you always know what to say to hit me in the chest. I don’t have the words you do. All I have is an insatiable need to touch you, and even though I want you, it’s not lust driving me. It’s something else. Something more intense.”

  Damn, that sounded a lot like love and Mara was scared to dream anyone might love her. She’d been unloved too long. At the very least, most people had a parent to love them. Mara had no one. She was in front of the world—alone. Cal’s words made her dream about a different life. The way he circled her clit, teasing her, kept her from thinking too hard about anything other than the orgasm he sought to steal. “I love the way you touch me.”

  Cal kissed the spot beneath her ear and increased the speed of his fingers. Against her will, Mara’s hips rose. She moved against his hand, seeking relief. “Damn, that’s sexy, Mara. That tiny sound you make—like I’m showing you heaven—I live for it. It makes me want to be better so I can hear it all the time.”

  Mara had a feeling she should be arguing some points, but her body’s needs wouldn’t let her focus. Her muscles were taut and pleasure felt just out of reach. An invisible spring wound tight inside her, ready to snap. She squeezed her breasts, seeking relief from the tension. Just as she thought she’d fly apart, Cal froze. A whimper escaped. She wanted to scream.

  “I’m picturing this is my tongue,” Cal whispered against her ear as he dragged his finger tip down her nub. An orgasm slammed into Mara, making her channel pulse and her legs shake. Her breaths came in gasps as Cal rubbed out every last twitch from Mara, leaving her a useless mess. Her muscles were like gelatin. She couldn’t move. In her head, she did everything she could to please Cal the way he had her. In reality, she couldn’t force her body to work.

  “I promise, the second I can use my arms and legs, I’ll make you fly.”

  Cal’s low chuckle against her neck sent another aftershock through her. “You’re making me fly now by letting me hold you. Let me have this.”

  No one had ever messed with her head the way Cal did. He genuinely didn’t want anything else from her right now. She could hear it in his voice. Mara didn’t understand him. He wasn’t like anyone she’d ever met before. She’d been through a lot in the past year and a half. Nothing had killed her yet. If Cal walked away, she didn’t know if that would still be true.

  Mara’s heartbeat raced beneath his palm. He held tight, needing to feel the rapid drum. She made him feel alive. His leaking cock screamed for her touch, but it wasn’t as loud as the voice in his head, yelling at him to confess his love. It was too soon. He didn’t think she’d accept it, and he was already too intense. Cal didn’t want to scare her away. His mind already had only a thin layer of glue holding the pieces together. If Mara walked away, what would she leave behind? He couldn’t think about it.

  “It’s so peaceful here. What made you decide to move to New Orleans rather than staying here when you came home?”

  It was funny how Cal never considered not answering any of Mara’s personal questions. All the things he didn’t want to talk about were easy when he was with her. Plus, she gave him something to focus on other than his raging hard on. He’d take it. “I did stay here for a while, helping out around the farm while healing. It didn’t take long, though, for people to start contacting me about book deals and movie deals. Obviously, I didn’t know anything a
bout any of that. Someone mentioned Kieran, saying I needed an agent, so I looked him up. Of course, I didn’t know he was a sports agent, but he still asked to me to come to New Orleans. I went and got to know Henley and him.” The words flowed from Cal—like he’d been waiting for someone to ask. “They were a lifeline in a way. I swear Kieran took one look at me and knew I wasn’t doing as well as I pretended. They were really open and honest. Henley told me about his past troubles with addiction, and how he almost died from an overdose before meeting Kieran. He shared some secrets with me about coping. I realized I was better in New Orleans, away from people who care too much and watch me all the time, expecting me to fall apart at any second. The truth is, I was already falling apart every second. It was just happening on the inside where they couldn’t see.” Mara stroked his arms, making him feel loved, and Cal kept confessing everything. “I told Kieran I didn’t care a whole lot about how much money I got, but I wanted him to represent me. He laughed and asked if I really thought I could go back to working a normal job someday. I knew I couldn’t. He promised he’d ensure I would never have to work again. Thanks to him dealing on my behalf, I can be a basket case in private until the end.”

  “Yet you still took the job with me.”

  It hadn’t been a question, but it was the second time Mara had brought it up. He couldn’t leave her remark without acknowledgement. “When you were on the phone, telling me when and where to report, you had the same panic in your voice I feel every day. I couldn’t ignore it. You know I’m not better, right? I might not ever be.”

  Mara didn’t respond right away.

  Panic built in his chest. Cal didn’t want to scare her away. He also didn’t want her to have any illusions about his mental health.

  “It hurts my heart to think of you silently falling apart,” Mara finally said. Her tone matched her claim. “But I’m not hanging around, hoping for a better or different version of you. I just want you. We’re a matched set,” she said, making him smile. “Just a little chipped and frayed around the edges, but perfect together.”