Everlasting

by S. E. Lund

  After my shower, I went to the ward and checked on my patients from the previous shift who were still in the hospital. First on my rounds was little Nathan, who had made it through the night but was still sedated. I was thankful that he was doing so well. It was one bright spot on an otherwise depressing afternoon.

  Once I'd finished seeing my patients from the previous night, I went back to the ER and looked over the roster of patients waiting to be given tests or consults, but I couldn't shake the sense of grief about my mother during the first few hours I was there, despite being kept very busy and relieved that Nathan had survived. Every time I had a five-minute break between patients, as I was washing my hands after leaving a case, while I was waiting for results to come back from the lab, I thought about my mother and what I had learned of her from my new brother and sister.

  It was a very long night.

  Before I left, as we were sitting around in the staff lounge, decompressing after a long shift, one of the attending physicians was talking about a patient who came in with the police in a very dissociated state.

  "We had to restrain him," Lou said, a cup of coffee in his hand. "He threw a punch and just missed me, luckily, or I'd probably be a patient. He was huge."

  We all nodded in understanding, for most doctors and nurses had seen similar cases in their time practicing medicine.

  "Better keep Drake away from those restraints," Christy said with a snort.

  There was a very awkward silence in the room and several of the staff glanced over at me.

  I froze, cup of coffee in hand, and wondered how to handle this. Christy hadn’t said anything to me since that encounter in the parking lot when she chased me out of the build to warn me about my behavior.

  At first, I said nothing, because what could I say? That it was none of her business? It was public knowledge. I couldn't deny it.

  "Don't worry yourself, Christy," I said dryly. "I wouldn't be using them on you, anyway."

  I stood and finished my coffee, crumpling the cup and throwing it into the trash can.

  Nick, one of the staff physicians, let out a guffaw of laughter. He held up his cup of coffee to me in a toast and took a drink.

  I glanced at Christy, who crossed her arms and harrumphed.

  Then I left the room.

  I went right to my office and sent off an email to my supervisor, tendering my letter of resignation. I read it over once, changed some wording, and then sent off the email, hoping that I wasn't making a mistake

  When I was done, I went back to the medical ward to see my mother.

  Chapter 11

  KATE

  Drake didn't arrive back home until after eight in the morning.

  I woke up at six thirty, surprised that Sophie was still asleep. At first, I had a bit of a panic attack, because she had been waking up every night at around three a.m. and coming into bed with me, but she slept through the night. I lay in the bed all alone, and worried first about Sophie, until I heard her babbling softly to herself over the baby monitor, and then I thought about Drake.

  Where was he?

  I realized that he was probably at the hospital visiting his mother. I sat up in bed and grabbed my bag, removing my cell to check for a text from him. Sure enough, there it was.

  DRAKE: Staying for a while at the hospital to watch my mom. Will be home for breakfast, unless things take a turn for the worse. If so, I'll let you know and will probably have breakfast at the hospital. Love you.

  I covered my mouth as a surge of emotion went through me, imagining Drake at his mother's bedside, holding her hand. I had done the same when my mother passed away, so I knew how he must feel, except I knew my mother was dying. She'd been dying for weeks when she finally passed. For Drake, her sickness was sudden and shocking. It had to be even more traumatic, being so unprepared to see his mother again after all that time and then to find out she might be dying.

  My heart squeezed for him.

  KATE: Take as much time as you need. Sophie and I are fine. I hope your mother isn't suffering. Give her a kiss and hug for me. I love you.

  Then I got up and went into the bathroom for a quick pee before going in to get Sophie ready for the day. When I got inside her room, I saw she was sitting up playing with the toy attached to the side of her crib, flipping the roller that made a jingling sound and sucking on her pacifier. She grinned around it when she saw me and held out her arms.

  "Good morning, sunshine," I said and picked her up, kissing her chubby cheeks one after the other. "You slept all night."

  I took her over to the change table and changed her, then dressed her in a playsuit. As I was on my way to the kitchen with Sophie so we could have our breakfasts, my cell rang. I grabbed it from my bag in the bedroom and checked the call display. It was my father so I put it on speakerphone. I wanted to keep working while I talked.

  I'd called my father and Elaine the afternoon before to let them know that Drake's brother had contacted him about his mother. I didn't really feel like being alone, so I'd skipped going to the studio and went to their place instead, having dinner with them so I wouldn’t miss Drake so much.

  "Hello," I said, wondering whether it was him or Elaine.

  "Good morning, sweetheart," he said in his usual ebullient voice. "How're my two girls? How's Drake holding up?"

  "Sophie and I are wonderful, but Drake is at the hospital seeing his mom."

  "Oh, that's too bad. She must be very sick for him to stay."

  "She is," I said. "He'll be home soon for breakfast unless she's going downhill."

  "What are your plans for the day?"

  "Sophie and I will spend the morning on the beach and then probably just stay at home while Drake sleeps."

  "You know that you're always welcome to come over any time you want. We love to see you and Sophie."

  "Thanks, daddy. I know."

  "Do you want us to sit with Sophie while you go to the studio today?"

  "I'll think about it. I'll wait and see how things are with Drake's mom first. If she's really bad, I might drop Sophie off with you while I go up with Drake and see her."

  "That's fine with us," he replied. "Whatever you need, sweetheart. Let us know."

  "I will," I said and ended the call. "Well," I said to Sophie, who sat in her highchair, her mouth stuffed with Cheerios. "Looks like we'll have a busy day."

  We took our usual walk along the beach and played in the sand. I was surprised to find that Drake was home when we got back. The car was in the driveway and the patio doors were open to let in the breeze. Drake was in the shower, and so I put Sophie in her play chair and put some fresh coffee on to brew. When Drake came out of the bathroom, bare-chested and wearing a pair of Bermuda shorts, toweling his hair off, I went to him and slipped my arms around his waist.

  "Welcome home," I said and we kissed. "How are you? How's your mother?"

  "She's doing a little better," Drake said, his arms around me. "I spent the past few hours with her because she couldn’t sleep."

  "Did you get to talk to her?" I asked, not sure if she was able to understand who Drake was. "Is she aware of who you are?"

  "I talked with her, but I have no idea if she knows who I am. I decided I'd tell her all about my life after she left, and my family. How dad was, and how he died, although I'm sure she knew."

  "So, she didn't respond? Not at all?" I said, my heart sinking for Drake when I saw him shake his head.

  "Sadly, no."

  "That's too bad. How are you?"

  He shrugged and took in a ragged breath. "It's been hard, but I'm glad that Kent and Amanda were there so I got to meet them both."

  "What are they like?" I asked, curious to learn more about Drake's half-siblings.

  He led me to the sofa, where we sat together. As usual, he pulled me onto his lap and we sat like that, my arms around him, his arms around me.

  "They seemed nice, from what I could tell. I didn't get a chance to talk to them very much, but they did tell me
some stories from their childhoods. Gave me an idea of what kind of mother she was to them."

  "And?" I asked, wanting to encourage him to talk.

  "She seems like she was a devoted mother. They love her. They felt loved."

  He said it with no emotion in his voice and it made me feel sick that Drake had been denied that love.

  She couldn't give it to him. That's why she left.

  "She met her current husband and he saved her life. She turned things around, they got married and she had her children."

  Drake turned to look in my eyes. I could see sadness in his.

  "You have a family," I said and stroked his cheek. "Half-brothers and a half-sister, nephews and nieces. And a step-father."

  He smiled finally. "I do. I never thought I'd have a family. After my father died, your father and the O'Rileys were the only family I had. Until you." He kissed me, his fingers tangling in my hair. "If I didn't have you, I'd still be keeping my distance from some new submissive, never getting emotionally close to any of them. Using them for sexual release and nothing more."

  "You do have us," I said and kissed him again.

  "I want you," he said, his voice low. The tone of his voice sent a thrill through me.

  "We'll soon have five days off. Maybe Elaine and my dad can take her for an overnight again."

  He nodded and then narrowed his eyes. "We could put Sophie in her playpen and fuck in the next room, with the baby monitor on loud."

  I laughed. "You think you could concentrate with her babbling in the background? I couldn’t."

  He smiled. "I guess not. When does she normally go down for a nap?"

  "Around four."

  "Damn," he said. "I'll be at work. Although, I did send in my letter of resignation."

  "What?"

  Drake nodded. "We had a belligerent patient who was brought in by the police. They had to use restraints to treat him. One of the nursing supervisors made a crack about me being tempted to use the restraints."

  "Oh, Drake," I said, horrified that someone had made a nasty remark about Drake and his past. "What did you say?"

  "I said she didn’t need to worry because I wouldn't want to use them on her anyway. Then, I left. I wrote an email tendering my resignation and sent it off. So, I'm going to be a free agent at the end of the month."

  "That's terrible," I said and squeezed him, kissing him tenderly. "That nurse should be disciplined. And not in a good way."

  I smiled slowly and of course, Drake did as well.

  "Speaking of restraints, Ms. Bennet, I think I may have to look in my treat box for those lamb's wool restraints I gave you, so I can torture you with pleasure."

  "I look forward to it," I said with a smile, my body already responding to the thought of Drake and I doing a scene. "I guess we'll have more time if you've quit your job."

  "We will," Drake said and kissed me.

  I felt a swell of love for him, and but it bothered me terribly that he felt he had to quit his position at the hospital.

  "Are you sure about this?" I said, frowning when I thought that this woman had so much power over him. "You told me that you really enjoy working in the ER. I hate to think this bully forced you to resign from a job you love."

  He shrugged. "I don't have to work, Kate. I certainly don't have to take any shit from some judging nursing supervisor about my past."

  "You don't have to work," I replied. "But you love being a neurosurgeon. You told me how much you enjoyed your work. You're lucky you can do what you want. Most people have to work. They don't have options."

  "I am lucky, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I don't have to work. I'll be called as a witness for the trial and we'll have to go back to Manhattan for that. Plus, we've been apart a lot because of the shifts. I miss being around Sophie when I work. We haven't spent much time with your dad and Elaine. And there's Liam, and now my mother..."

  "It's a lot to deal with," I said, running my hands through his hair, which was rapidly drying. "I'd be happy to have you all to myself. Sophie and I would be more than happy to have you around all the time."

  "You need time at the studio," Drake said, and tapped my nose with a finger.

  "You can have daddy-daughter time when I do go to the studio."

  "See what I mean? It'll be perfect." We kissed again, our arms tightening around each other. "I do have to go in for a shift tonight because I promised I would, but then I have five beautiful days off. Which will be good so I can spend time with my mother."

  "How is she?" I asked again. "Do you think she might survive?"

  "I do," he said and nodded. "But we won’t know for sure until we see how she responds to this last-ditch antibiotic regimen."

  "Good. Maybe you'll be able to connect with her, when she's better."

  "I think so," Drake said and took in a deep breath. "Right now, she's very confused because of the infection, but if it clears up, she might be more coherent. I want her to know who I am, if it's possible. Kent and Amanda said she was much more aware before the infection so it may be because of that and her low oxygen that she seems so bad. She tried to speak to me, but it was just mumbling."

  Drake covered his eyes and I realized how deeply he was affected by seeing his mother again. "Oh, Drake..."

  I slipped my arms around him once more and squeezed, kissing his cheek. He wiped his eyes and forced a smile. "It would be really nice for her to see me. To really see me and know who I am."

  "You can only try," I said. "If she recovers."

  "If she recovers."

  We sat like that for a moment and then Drake let out a sigh. "I better get going. I need to go back to sleep for a few hours. I want to go to the hospital to see how she's doing."

  "You need to sleep," I said, putting my hands on his shoulders. "You need sleep if you're going to work a shift. You can pop in and see your mother just before your shift."

  "You're right," he said and finally we stood up. "I just want to be there."

  "I know, but you can't be there for her and be there for your patients if you don't get some sleep. Did you eat something at the hospital before you came home?"

  Drake nodded.

  "Good. Go and lie down. I'll make sure to wake you up so you'll have enough time to get dressed and go to see your mom before your shift."

  "Okay, Mrs. Morgan," Drake said with a guilty smile. "I'll let you be the boss of me just this once."

  "Ha," I said and slipped my arms around his waist. "We're the boss of each other."

  "We are."

  We kissed once more.

  "Maybe if your mom improves, Sophie and I can come up and see her. What would you think of that?"

  Drake's eyebrows raised. "Would you want to come and meet her?"

  "Of course," I said. "I'd want her to see her other grandchild."

  "She may not be coherent, even if she recovers."

  "We have to hold out hope."

  He nodded and stroked my cheek. "We do."

  Then, he went to Sophie and kissed her before going to the bedroom for a sleep.

  While Drake slept, Sophie and I did our usual routine of driving to the small neighborhood shopping mall. I had a cup of coffee while we sat on the patio and watched the people walk by. When I was done, we stopped and got a few things from the local Whole Foods store for the kitchen, and then returned home. I hoped Drake had enough time for a few good hours of sleep. I wouldn't wake him up until two o'clock. He'd already had a shower and so would only have to dress and then drive to the hospital which was about twenty minutes away. He could pop in to see his mom at that point. If she was well, we'd come up and see him there on his break and meet her.

  I made a light lunch for Sophie and me and we sat on the patio and ate, watching the ocean below us. It was peaceful. Sophie was happy to babble away in her playpen while I finished reading some news headlines on my tablet.

  After lunch, we watched some television and then, when it was almost two o'clock, I went into the bedroom and
woke Drake up.

  I leaned over Drake, moving the pillow off his head. I brushed hair off his cheek and kissed him.

  "Time to wake up, my love."

  He blinked awake and then stretched rolling over and pulling me on top of his body. He smiled when I squealed and then tickled me, trapping me beneath him.

  "Tomorrow, Ms. Bennet, I am going to enjoy you."

  "I'm going to enjoy you enjoying me."

  "It's a date."

  We kissed briefly and then Drake sighed. "I'll call you and let you know how my mother is. You can decide whether to come up or not."

  "Sounds good," I replied. "I don't want to barge in on family business but I would like to see her."

  "It's your family as well."

  I nodded and then we heard Sophie from the other room, babbling over the baby monitor.

  "Better get up and at 'em," Drake said and together, we got up off the bed. Drake went into the bathroom and I went back to the living room, where Sophie was happily playing in her playpen, her pacifier in her mouth.

  When Drake was dressed, he came out to the living room where we sat and bent down to kiss us both goodbye. I walked him to the door with Sophie in my arms.

  "I wish you didn't have to go to work tonight," I said. "You should be the one who gets to switch shifts considering your mother's so sick."

  "There are only so many neurosurgeons to switch with."

  I nodded but felt bad for Drake that he had to work despite all the stress he was facing.

  "Tomorrow," Drake said and stroked my cheek. "We'll try to relax and enjoy each other but it depends on how my mother is doing."

  "We'll play it by ear."

  We kissed once more, he kissed Sophie and then he was gone.

  Chapter 12

  DRAKE

  I stopped in to check on my mother before my shift started.

  She was alone in a rare moment when her family was either taking a coffee break or was on their way to the hospital. Her room was quiet and she was laying with her head turned to the window. I wasn't sure if she was asleep so I walked in quietly, just in case.