Everlasting

by S. E. Lund

  After an hour of surfing, we all went up to the house for supper, gorging ourselves on barbecue ribs, potato salad, and an assortments of grilled vegetables. We sat around the table on the deck and talked, laughed and had a great time together as one big family. When it was time to take Liam home, I wished we could have arranged to have him sleep over. We had a guest bedroom at our house and could have accommodated him, but I hadn’t talked to Brenda about it so instead, I planned on doing so another night. It would be a good thing to get Liam used to staying with us now, so when I got shared custody – and I was determined to get shared custody – he would be ready for it psychologically. We could move in some toys and decorate it in whatever kind of superhero motif he wanted – Batman or whoever it was by the time I got shared custody.

  I was eager to get that process started, but until the trial was over in Manhattan and that was put behind me, and the publicity from that died down, I wouldn't push anything. The last thing I needed was to go before a judge and plead for shared custody of my son with that trial in the media.

  So, my plan was to go to Manhattan, see the trial to the end and then return to start work on getting shared custody. Until then, I'd make sure we spent as much time as we could with Liam so that he got totally comfortable with everyone – with me, with Kate and Sophia, and with Ethan and Elaine. If I could establish an ongoing relationship with my other family – with Herb and Amanda, Kent and my other two half-brothers I'd yet to meet, I'd want Liam to know them as well.

  I envisioned big family dinners in the fall and could imagine us all sitting around a huge dining table on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. It was a dream for me and I was going to make it happen. It might take a lot of work, but I had been used to working hard at my career. I could turn that focus to getting shared custody of Liam and creating the big family I always dreamed of having.

  As we finished our dessert and sat around the table on the deck, the patio lanterns turning on and lighting the area, I felt satisfied that although I had to give up my position at the hospital, things would work out eventually. It was for the best that I quit. I had so much going on in my life that I needed the breathing space. There was nothing stopping me from going back into practice once I could get hospital privileges. That could wait.

  I had other priorities – like Kate and Sophia – and Liam. Plus my new family.

  At the end of our evening together, we drove Liam back to Maureen's place. The trip was a long one and Sophie fell asleep. When we arrived, I slipped the car in park and walked hand in hand with Liam to the door. Brenda opened it wide and invited me in.

  "Come in, come in," she said and peered out around the door to the car. "Tell Kate to bring in Sophie as well."

  "Sophie's asleep and we don't want to wake her," I said. "Thanks for the offer but we really should get back home." I handed her Liam's backpack and turned to Liam. "I think we had a great time today."

  Liam nodded.

  "Oh, that's great," Brenda said and bent down to Liam. "Thank your father for the day."

  Liam turned to me. "Thank you, father. I had a fun time at the beach. And the supper was pretty good, too."

  "I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself," I replied and ruffled up his hair. "We'll get together again soon and maybe you can do a sleepover if your grandmother says yes."

  I leaned down and gave him a quick squeeze then I released his shoulder, said goodbye to Brenda and went to my car. Maybe one day, he'd feel like giving me a hug on his own, but I wasn't going to push it and expect him to.

  I waved at them both and got back in the car, driving off into the night, a lump in my throat. Beside me, Kate smiled and took my hand.

  "That was fun."

  "It was," I said but for the moment, I was too emotional to talk and so we held hands and drove in silence through the darkened streets.

  "We should just bring her home," I said after a few moments. "I'd like to wake up with both my girls in the morning. She can go to stay with Dad and Elaine tomorrow night, if they're okay with that."

  "I'll call," Kate said and took out her cell. She dialed and the call went over the car's Bluetooth speaker.

  "Hi, Elaine. Sophie's asleep in her car seat so we think we'll just take her home with us tonight. Maybe tomorrow night or the next night?"

  "Whatever works best for you. Your father and I don't have any plans. Let us know tomorrow if you want to bring her over for the night."

  "Thanks. I'll call you."

  They said goodbye and Kate ended the call, slipping her cell back into her bag.

  I took her hand and squeezed. "I feel like I need to sleep for twenty-four hours."

  "It's all the stress of the last few days, plus your workload. You need to sleep in tomorrow morning."

  "I will," I said and kissed her knuckles. "I had plans for a real romantic night but honestly, I'm so exhausted, I feel like I could fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow."

  "You should sleep as long as you need."

  I squeezed her hand once more and drove back to our place by the ocean.

  I carried Sophie into the house in her car seat and once we were in her room, in the dark, I removed her from her seat and laid her in her crib, pulling the cover up over her. Her pacifier was gripped tightly in her mouth and she didn't even blink an eye open, remaining asleep the entire time.

  Kate and I stood beside the crib and watched her for a moment and I marveled at how much she'd grown since she was born. I pulled Kate against me and kissed her forehead, filled with happiness that I had her and Sophie – and everyone else in my life.

  "Let's have a nice warm bubble bath and go to bed," I said.

  "Sounds perfect."

  I kissed Kate on the mouth this time and despite all the emotion of the day and despite my exhaustion, I wanted to make love with her before going to sleep.

  So I did.

  After our bath, which was soothing and relaxing after a long day at the beach, we made love in the moonlight coming in from the picture window in our bedroom, the shafts of grey-white light flowing over our naked bodies on the bed. It wasn't a BD scene like I had planned using my lambs wool cuffs to restrained Kate on the bed. It was instead plain old vanilla and more a quick but intense release that I needed to completely exhaust me and let me sleep after so many emotions of the day.

  Afterward, as Kate lay beneath me, her legs wrapped around my waist, her hands stroking up my back, I kissed her tenderly.

  "I needed that, Mrs. Morgan."

  "You did, Dr. Morgan. Will you be able to fall asleep now? No ruminating on everything?"

  "None," I replied and kissed her neck. "Totally brain dead, I'm afraid. Don't ask me anything more challenging than do you want a glass of water because I'll probably be incoherent."

  Kate smiled beneath me and ran her fingers through my hair.

  "You could never be incoherent."

  We kissed once more before reluctantly pulling apart, our bodies no longer joined.

  After we cleaned up and got back into bed, I pulled her against me, my arm around her from behind. I kissed her shoulder and closed my eyes.

  "Good night, my love," I said and sighed, the last vestiges of stress evaporating.

  "Good night."

  And so it was with Kate in my arms and Sophia asleep in her bedroom, that I finally fell asleep after a long memorable day that I wouldn’t soon forget.

  The next morning dawned and our bed was empty. Both Sophia and Kate were already up and I was surprised that I'd slept through Kate leaving the bed. I must have been extremely tired not to wake up because I was usually a light sleeper. I rolled around in the warm sheets and contemplated getting up or sleeping longer. My watch on the bedside table read seven thirty a.m. I would normally get up at that point, but this felt like the true first day of my five days off and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity to sleep in, so I turned over, put the pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep.

  Of course, I couldn't. I had to get
up. Once my mind started going, it was impossible to go back to sleep. Instead, I got up and went for a quick shower before joining Kate and Sophie in the kitchen. When I arrived, Kate was texting on her phone and Sophie was seated in her highchair, feeding herself Cheerios. She smiled when she saw me so I went right over and kissed her cheeks.

  "Good morning, sweetheart," I said and rubbed my hand over her soft fluffy baby hair, which was starting to curl around the nape of her neck. If Liam looked like me, Sophia looked like Kate, with hazel-green eyes and chestnut brown hair.

  "Good morning, Dr. Morgan," Kate said teasingly. "I thought you'd be so weak after last night that you'd sleep in."

  I laughed. "You think a bit of vanilla sex tired me out? You are sadly mistaken. That was only a warm-up. Tonight, you're in for it."

  "Promises, promises," Kate said, smiling down at her phone.

  I went over to her and pulled her against me from behind. "I am a man of my word."

  "You are," Kate replied and leaned back, her head resting against my shoulder. "I look forward to you keeping your promises. Many times."

  Kate finished typing and then put her phone down. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

  I poured a cup of juice and grabbed a croissant then sat beside Sophie at the kitchen island.

  "We should go for a nice walk along the beach like you guys do every morning, have a nice lunch on the patio, and then," I said and pulled Kate closer, "I want you to go to the studio and spend a few hours there. Sophie and I will spend our time together, she can have a nap, and when you get back, we can have dinner, and then drop Sophie off at Grandad's and Grandma's place for a sleepover. How does that sound?"

  "It sounds totally indulgent."

  "Good. We should be indulgent. Both of us have been through a lot in the past year. We deserve it."

  Kate kissed me. "If you insist."

  "I insist. I want you to feel like all the sacrifices have been worth it."

  Kate frowned. "What sacrifices? I have you. I have Sophia. I have my parents. I have my studio. What sacrifice have I made?"

  I stroked her cheek. "You know what I mean. You had to take a leave from your Master's degree. You lost a lot."

  "I did, but I have so much. How can I feel ungrateful?"

  I kissed her again, because she was so accepting of everything. "I won't argue with you. I just want you to be happy and fulfilled."

  "I am," she said and leaned her forehead against mine. "You don't have to worry about me anymore. Whatever baby blues I had are all gone now. I couldn’t be happier. Honestly, Drake. I'm over the post-partum depression."

  I didn't argue anymore. I'd still watch Kate to make sure she wasn’t hiding her emotions in order to spare me. She did that before we left Manhattan, and I would make sure things didn't spiral down again. It was completely understandable that Kate had PTSD after the attack and almost losing her life and that of Sophia. Luckily, we had recognized it in time and Kate recovered, but I would always be on the lookout for signs that she was becoming depressed.

  We took our usual walk along the beach to a spot that was sheltered from the wind, and sat on the sand so Sophie could crawl around and make sandcastles. The weather was unusually warm for that time of year and so we had to watch out for Sophie's fair skin, and made sure she had on her floppy brimmed hat and sunglasses. The beach umbrella provided a lot of shade for us and we spent an enjoyable couple of hours out either walking or sitting on the beach.

  By the time we got back, I needed another cup of coffee and so we sat in the living room and watched the news while the coffee brewed.

  After lunch, we went to the living room to catch up on news headlines. We sat side by side on the sofa while Sophie played on the floor with her toys.

  Kate turned to me once we were settled in. "Do you want to go up to the hospital and see your mom? You should go after lunch and see her in the afternoon before I go to the studio. When you get back, I'll go. Sophie will be napping and you can take it easy and so whatever you'd like."

  "I would like to go," I said and kissed her. "Thanks."

  "Elaine's excited about having Sophie spend the night, so we can do whatever we want. Do you feel like going out for dinner? Maybe go and see a gallery exhibition? There are a number down by my studio."

  "That sounds perfect," I said. "Ask your studio mates where is a good place to eat."

  She nodded and took out her cell. "There's a gallery a few blocks away from my studio with a new exhibit this week. There's a wine and cheese at six. We could take it in and then go for dinner."

  "Sounds good. I'll go to see my mom for an hour or so. You can go to the studio until five. We can drop Sophie off with Dad and Elaine and then go to the opening."

  With that settled, I finished my coffee and left for the hospital, hoping to see my mother improve over the previous day. If she kept improving, she'd be able to go back into her nursing home and then I'd have a better idea of how far her disease had progressed.

  I wouldn't give up trying to get her to understand who I was. It would be nice to see recognition in her eyes at least once before she passed but I didn't want to put too much hope into it. Alzheimer's disease was impossible to predict and patients varied. They didn’t all respond to the latest treatments in the same way. In the end, I'd have to be thankful that I found her again and equally as important, I found my other family members as well.

  As I drove to the hospital, I thought about Herb and Amanda, Kent and Craig and Andrew, the two half-brothers I hadn't yet met.

  In the space of a week, I'd gone from having no siblings to having four.

  It was a good week.

  Chapter 15

  KATE

  Drake spent an hour with his mother and when he returned, I left for the studio, taking along some more supplies I picked up during one of my shopping sprees in the art supply store. I was excited to be back at work on my canvas, and spent at least an hour before I even looked up from my paints. I was happy with the way the painting was progressing but needed a break for something to drink. I went to the small bar fridge in the tiny kitchen area and took out a bottle of water and sat at the workbench to check my email.

  There was one from a surprising source: Dawn.

  I hadn't heard from her for months.

  DAWN: Hey, old friend! How are you? I hope all is well. I'm keeping busy finishing my nursing courses and expect to be working this summer full-time at Harlem General. I hope to move to a surgical ward after I put in my time and get some seniority. I understand that the trial is coming up. Are you and Drake and Sophie coming to Manhattan for it? I'll be attending on my days off. Hope to connect with you when you get back if you're willing. I would love to see Sophie – she must be getting big! Love you, Dawn.

  I wasn't sure how to respond. There was still a part of me – a big part – that resented Dawn for her meddling in my life when Drake and I were first together. I knew she was doing so out of what she thought was love, but what I needed wasn't a hall monitor but a friend to help me figure things out. Instead, she had been like a nun at a Catholic girl's school, scolding me for liking boys. Of course, that had been her strict upbringing but still...

  At least she was no longer so prejudiced against kink. What a shock it must have been for her to realize that she might enjoy a bit of B&D now and then. I hope it humbled her and made her less judgmental. She seemed to want to still maintain our friendship and the truth was that I missed her. I missed having a best girlfriend I could gossip with. I loved Drake and he was my best friend as well as husband, but still. A woman needs a woman friend and I had no one at the moment who fit the bill.

  I decided to text her back.

  KATE: Hey! Long time no hear. Yes, Drake and I are planning on coming to Manhattan for the trial as soon as Drake finishes up his latest shift cycle. Drake is going to testify in two weeks, so we have to get there early so he can meet with the prosecutor and go over his testimony. I am not looking forward to the trial as you can ima
gine. It will probably just upset me, given the focus on Drake's past. But I want to be there with Drake and support him. Yes, Sophie is getting big! We should reconnect. I'll contact you when we're in town. Take care.

  I just couldn't bring myself to return the Love you part and I felt bad. Before all this happened, I would have relied on Dawn to get me through any trying period in my life, but I guess we had grown apart and her attempts to break Drake and me up didn’t help. I still felt resentment that would probably never go away.

  I had no idea where I might meet a new female friend, but at the moment, I was really too busy with Sophia and Drake and my art to worry about it. Life was full. I wanted to give each part of my life my whole attention and so worrying too much about girlfriends was not going to occupy too much of my mental energy.

  When I was finished with my work for the day, I cleaned my brushes and locked up, taking the trash to the trash room before I left. On my way out of the small room, I ran into none other than my fellow artist, Sean.

  "Fancy meeting you here," he said and smiled, standing in the doorway blocking my exit.

  "Oh, hello," I said and stopped up suddenly so I wouldn’t run into him. "It's you."

  "Yes, it's me. Let the bells ring out and the banners fly."

  I frowned despite remembering my childhood watching Looney Tunes.

  "Sorry, can't talk, gotta run!"

  Then, I rushed past him and out the building entrance. Unfortunately, he followed me.

  "How's the elephant painting coming? I haven't seen you around for a few days."

  "It's fine. I've been busy with life. Bye!"

  I slipped quickly into my car and slammed the door, making sure the window was rolled up completely and the door was locked. He stopped at the car nonetheless and leaned against it, smiling down at me through the window.