Rush of Innocence (Rush Series #1)

by LR Potter

  Her breathing and her heart stopped at his words. “What?” she straggled out.

  “I don’t want to see you anymore. What we had was fun while it lasted, but I think its time for us to part ways.”

  Tears began to streak down her cheeks and she removed her sunglasses to swipe at them. “Does this have anything to do with my father?”

  His eyes flashed up to hers and he flinched at her discolored eyes. “No, it does not.”

  “I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong? Is there someone else?” Pain lanced through her chest and she was barely able to get the words out of her mouth.

  He sighed deeply and stood. “No, you didn’t and no there isn’t. We both knew this would run its course.”

  “But all the flowers… all the gifts… this past week. Did it mean nothing?” she cried.

  Without turning around, he gave a wry, almost harsh laugh. “Oh, Trinity. You have a lot to learn. This is how the game is played. If you had more experience you’d know that. Let’s not make this more than what it was. I had fun, you had fun, but now it’s over.”

  She felt as if he’d kicked her in the stomach. She slumped back down on the couch, her legs unable to support her.

  “Please don’t do this. I can’t bear it.” She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. “Please. I’ll do anything,” she begged.

  He was silent for a long moment. In an emotionless voice, he said, “I’ll have Radcliff take you home. Goodbye, Trinity.”

  Without another word, he left the room.

  Chapter 9

  Rush Drayton didn’t call that week or the week after. Every passing day caused the pain in her heart to solidify into a hard cement core. What had she done wrong? She cringed every time she remembered how she’d begged him and he’d just walked away. Every insecurity she’d ever had was raised to the surface. Maybe he needed someone more in his league. She’d thought briefly that maybe her father had gotten to him, but tossed it aside. She couldn’t see Rush Drayton being intimidated by anyone.

  As she lie in bed at the end of the third week without him, pain sliced through her chest and the tears she’d refused to shed throughout the three weeks slid heedlessly down her cheeks. She missed him. She missed his comfort and concern. She missed his gentleness. She missed his touch and his soft lips against hers. How was she supposed to move past him? He was the ultimate man. Was she supposed to now just make do with someone else?

  Her father was happy to have her home and to have things back to normal… his normal, anyway. The stained-glass windows had been replaced and there’d been no further attempts on either of them. Maybe the threat had passed. He’d gotten cleared by his doctors and had returned to work, so he was happy. Her bedroom had been sorted and her belongings put back in their proper place, with the exception of her paintings. Her injuries from the attack had all healed, and only if you looked closely could you still see the faint yellowing of bruises around her eyes and nose.

  She got up everyday and dressed. She went downstairs and picked at her breakfast as her father talked about whatever was coming up in his day. She went to work and tried to remember the passion she’d once felt for her beloved artwork. She went to the museum and sat for hours in the atrium, but found no solace. She felt empty… hollow. She told herself repeatedly to just get over it. She’d only known him for a matter of weeks. But the man had seriously rocked her world and knocked her off-kilter. She found sleep evasive and eating a chore she avoided. It was all starting to catch up with her as there were dark circles under her eyes and her weight was in a steady decline.

  It was now Saturday and she was once again sitting at the breakfast table with her father, picking at the food on her plate… or at least pushing it around on her plate. She found the mere thought of actually putting the food into her mouth repulsive. She could hear her father rambling at the other end of the table but wasn’t really paying any attention to what was being said.

  “Trinity Allura Grace! Are you listening to me?” her father said sharply.

  She jumped at his loud voice. She lifted startled eyes to his. “I’m sorry. What?”

  He sighed heavily. “What is wrong with you? You look terrible. You need to start taking better care of yourself. Now, about tonight…” he began.

  “Tonight?”

  He sighed again. “Yes, tonight. The Eternity House Charity Ball? I told you about it last week. It’s tonight. Did you get a gown?”

  She shook her head.

  He sighed again. “Did you set a hair appointment?”

  Again she shook her head.

  He threw his napkin down on his plate. “This is an extremely important event, Trinity. I can’t emphasize that enough. Every important person in the city will be there. I need you by my side, okay? Now finish your breakfast and I’ll have Alex drive you into town and let’s hope you can find something acceptable at the last minute. Don’t forget about getting your hair done. You look like hell!” he exclaimed.

  She flinched and groaned internally about having to dress, go out, and then smile and be entertaining when she’d never felt like it less. But she merely nodded. It was just easier to go along with her father. She didn’t have the energy to fight him right now.

  ***

  Alex Masters sat beside her in the SUV and drove in silence. The reflective lenses of his aviator sunglasses hid his eyes. Vaguely, Trinity wondered if he resented babysitting her on a Saturday. It couldn’t be the highlight of his day to take her shopping. With a dismissive shrug, she turned her head to stare out the window.

  For the millionth time, she wondered what had happened to turn Rush away from her. What had she done? She wished she could talk to him just once more for closure. Her stomach roiled at the thought of being close enough to him speak and not having the freedom to touch him. Maybe she’d never had that freedom. She chided herself for letting a short-term romance shatter her this way. She should be thankful she’d gotten what she wanted. She now knew what it felt like to be held and loved by a man. How she wished she’d remained ignorant. This hurt too much. She wrapped her arms around her waist to ward off the chill she felt way down deep.

  She jumped at Alex’s voice. “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “No more incidents since the attack at your office?”

  “No. Why do you ask?” she asked, wondering if something had happened with her father that she’d been unaware of.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “You just seem… off. I just wondered if something was going on.”

  She shook her head before turning to stare back out the window. “No, nothing.”

  Not really being in the mood to shop, Trinity picked up the first red dress she came across. She picked red as it was the color her father would approve of. She tried it on, but found her usual size too big. She frowned. She hadn’t realized she’d lost that much weight. She was really going to have to pull herself together. This was pathetic. She finally found a size which fit and bought a pair of strappy high-heeled red shoes to match.

  She made her appointment at the hair salon and decided to have it swept up and piled on top of her head. The image was smart and sophisticated. Her father would be pleased.

  Alex gave a small smile when she emerged. “Very nice.”

  She smiled in return. “Thanks.”

  She had to admit, she felt better. Maybe tonight was a good idea. She had been closing herself off from everyone. Even Sundra had stopped calling after being told repeatedly she didn’t feel like going out. But no more. She was going to make an effort to do things whether she felt like it or not.

  ***

  The Eternity House Charity Ball was an annual event to raise money for Eternity House, a shelter for abused children. No expense had been spared. The ball was being hosted in a converted movie theater which was now used primarily for wedding receptions, and events such as the ball. The theme for this year’s ball was A Golden Opportunity. The decorations were all done in varying
shades of gold. There were huge swatches of gold metallic material draped from the ceiling and the tables were all draped with shiny, gold tablecloths.

  While her choice of dress had been hurried, she was happy with her selection. The gown was formfitting and cut severely low in the back. Two strings of faux diamonds draped across her back keeping the dress fitted snugly. With her upswept hair, she looked older and exotic. Her father had smiled proudly when she’d appeared on the staircase at home.

  She stood beside him now with a glass of champagne in her hand. They’d been at the one-thousand-dollar-a-plate event for nearly an hour. Her resolve to throw herself back into life was waning. She smiled at those her father introduced her to and replied when spoken to, but all she wanted was to be home safely ensconced in her room. She stared down at her glass as she slowly swirled the golden liquid around. Beside her, she could hear the cadence of her father’s voice as he spoke to those around them, but she wasn’t really paying attention to his words. It wasn’t until she felt him stiffen and his cadence falter that she glanced up. Entering the ballroom’s grand entrance was none other than Rush Drayton.

  He was dressed as most others in a black tuxedo. In deference to the ball’s theme, his bowtie was gold. On his arm was the beautiful, current reigning Ms. Savannah, Hillary Reed. She was stunning in her figure-hugging gold dress. Her long, blonde curls swirled as she walked. Acid seemed to burn in Trinity’s stomach as she watched the couple stroll into the room. She watched as Rush leaned towards Hillary to catch what she was saying. Trinity gasped softly when whatever had been said caused him to smile.

  Apparently feeling her gaze, he lifted his eyes and froze momentarily when he caught sight of her. Her chest heaved with the need to breathe, but she couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen. She turned to her father and placed a hand on his arm. He turned questioning eyes to her.

  “I’m going to go sit down.”

  “Of course, darling,” he said with a smile.

  She turned and walked on unsteady limbs to their table. Why had he come? In all of her life, she’d never run into him anywhere, and now he was everywhere. How was she supposed to get through this night? The image of his arm draped around the beauty queen stabbed repeatedly at her heart. She slumped down into her chair and let the contents of her glass slide down her throat. A passing waiter took her empty glass and replaced it with a full one.

  She’d purposefully sat with her back to the room so she wouldn’t have to watch Rush look down into a woman’s eyes that wasn’t hers. Snapshots of the last time she’d been with him in the swimming pool flashed in her mind… his beautiful face twisted in want and desire. His muscles straining to maintain his control. The feel and taste of his slightly salty skin on her tongue. She lifted her glass and took too big a swallow and choked. Her eyes watered as she coughed. She raised her napkin to her mouth and tried to stem her coughing. Seeing that she was drawing attention to herself, she rose and went to find the ladies room.

  She finally calmed the tickle in her throat and repaired her makeup. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out of the bathroom. She stood for a moment outside the huge double-door entrance of the ballroom and considered just leaving. Alex could run her home then come back and get her father. Knowing this event was important to her father, and not wanting to give Rush the satisfaction of knowing he’d ran her off, she took another deep breath and lifted her hands to the door handles.

  The breath was forced from her lungs on a gush when she heard a familiar voice.

  “Hello, Trinity. You look beautiful tonight,” Rush Drayton said softly from behind her.

  She swallowed against the boulder lodged in her throat, licked her lips, and turned around. “Thank you.”

  He was leaning against the lobby wall raking her over with his eyes. “How have you been?”

  “Good… busy,” she said a little breathlessly. What did he want from her? Her heart was pounding out an unhealthy beat in her chest.

  He began to walk towards her and she took a step back in self-defense. “I’ve missed you,” he said huskily.

  The air was once more forced from her lungs. She took another step back and felt the wall behind her. “Don’t… just don’t,” she whispered.

  He walked slowly towards her and stopped when their bodies were almost touching. He raised a shaky hand to lightly trace the edges of her jaw. “Why? It’s true.”

  She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. “I need to get back,” she said.

  “You’ve lost weight,” he said as if she’d not spoken.

  Her heart twisted in her chest. “Please, don’t,” she begged him.

  He leaned into her and brushed his face against hers. He was close enough to her that she could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest. “I know you don’t understand, but it really is better this way,” he murmured against her ear.

  She shivered at the contact of his lips against her ear. “Why?” she asked breathlessly.

  He sighed heavily and took a step back as he rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. The removal of his body from hers, made her chilly. “It’s just… better.”

  She swallowed hard and before she could stop them from coming out of her mouth, she said, “I’ve missed you, too.”

  He flinched at the words. “I’m sorry. I… never meant to hurt you.”

  Without another word, he turned and re-entered the ballroom. She stood leaning against the wall for several moments before she was steady enough to open the doors. She checked to see where Rush had gone and then purposefully walked to the opposite side. She returned to her seat facing the wall. Her father was now sitting at the table, as well as the rest of table’s guests, and dinner was being served.

  “Ahh, there you are. I was getting worried,” her father said.

  “Sorry. I was in the ladies room.”

  She lifted her glass and drank from it carefully. She picked at the food on her plate and struggled to ignore the tingling at the back of her neck which let her know Rush was still in the room. The dinner plates were removed and dessert served, and then eventually those plates were picked up as well.

  The orchestra was setting up to play when her father excused himself from the table. With her eyes trained on her water glass, it wasn’t until she heard his voice through the speakers that she became aware that her father was on the dais speaking.

  “Good evening, everyone. I wanted to personally thank everyone for attending and supporting such a worthy cause. I feel doubly blessed to have my own daughter with me tonight. I would be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to wish her a happy birthday. My little girl turned twenty-three today. Trinity, will you please stand?”

  She’d forgotten her own birthday. With her face reddened, she complied, but kept her back to the audience. She gave a small wave and smiled briefly to her father, who she was going to kill later for this, before sitting back down. Her father moved the topic away from her and her birthday and continued on about the benefits and worthiness of Eternity House.

  Once he was reseated, music began to be played by an orchestra and people began filtering to the dance floor. Her father stood and extended a hand to her. Never having felt like dancing less, she placed her hand in his and stood. He led her to the floor and they circled it dancing a familiar waltz. At the end of the song, her father bowed to her and she smiled at the formality of the gesture. They’d stepped to return to their table when the tiny hairs on the nape of her neck stood up. She turned her head to see Rush walking purposely towards them. Her heart began to pound. Beside her, her father turned to see what had captured her attention and tensed.

  Rush gave a nod to her father. Gruffly, he said, “Judge Grace.”

  “Drayton,” her father responded.

  Rush extended a hand to her. “May I have this dance?”

  Not sure how to get out of it without causing a scene, she gave a small nod and turned back towards the dance floor. She shivered at the feel of his hand against the bared skin of her lower
back. He slid one arm around her and held her hand with the other. He moved them smoothly around the dance floor. She looked up into his godlike face and her stomach clenched. He stared down at her with such intensity she was forced to look away. He pulled her a little closer to him.

  “Happy birthday,” he said.

  Staring at a spot just past his shoulder, she murmured, “Thank you.”

  They danced in silence for a minute and she wondered how long she could endure being this close to him and not breaking down. Her heart was beating frantically in her chest and her breathing was rapid.

  “I can’t seem to stay away from you,” he finally said softly.

  She swallowed hard and blurted out before she could stop herself, “Then don’t.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  She gave a small smile with trembling lips. “Too late.”

  “I… never intended for things to get this deep. I have to try and protect you the only way I can,” he said.

  She lifted confused eyes to his. “Protect me from what?”

  His lips twisted wryly, “Me.”

  “I don’t understand,” she said in frustration.

  “I know and I’m sorry. I wish… things could have been different.”

  She shook her head at his confusing words and shifted her eyes from his as tears sprang into them. “I… I can’t be with you. It just hurts too much,” she said softly.

  His body tensed underneath her hands. “I understand. Thanks for the dance.” He released his hold on her and with a nod of his head, he walked away. She followed him with her eyes until he sat down next to Hillary Reed.

  She made the walk back to her table on unsteady legs. Her chest burned and she struggled to regain control of her rioting emotions. She began to get lightheaded and her stomach became queasy. She’d nearly reached her table when her hands began to tremble and a fine sheen of perspiration formed on her upper lip. She swallowed and blinked rapidly as black spots appeared before her eyes. Heat swept over her, suffocating her with its intensity. A distant ringing began in her ears and became steadily louder until it hurt. She saw her father rise from his seat just as she slumped to the floor.