Rush of Innocence (Rush Series #1)

by LR Potter

  “Please, I can’t… I don’t want to see you. Please,” she pleaded.

  He crushed her against his massive chest and held her tightly as she whimpered.

  “Oh, my God. Trinity, how could you do this to me? You promised you wouldn’t keep the child from me,” he all but shouted even as he held her close.

  Through shuddering sobs, she said, “I wouldn’t keep you from him. I couldn’t do that to him.”

  “I thought… I mean, your father… I don’t understand. Please tell me what’s going on,” he demanded roughly against the top of her head.

  She stilled at the mention of her father. With her chest heaving, she pushed against his chest and he let her go back as far as his arms would allow.

  As she swiped at the tears on her face, she asked, “What about my father?”

  Rush stared down into her upturned face, so many emotions seemed to cross his features before he answered, “He told me you’d gotten… rid of the baby. That you didn’t want any reminders of me.”

  All the oxygen gushed so quickly from her chest, she became dizzy and lightheaded. With more sins being added to her father’s incredibly long list, Trinity began to swat weakly at Rush’s hands, trying ineffectively to get away from him. She couldn’t look at him right now. Embarrassment over the lies her father had told, and the fact Rush had believed that it would be that easy for her to get rid of their baby. He’d left her when she’d needed him the most, and apparently, according to the papers, it’d been easy for him to move on.

  “Well, I didn’t. Please let me go. I need to go. Please let me go,” she rambled as she struggled against his arms. He tightened his grip and she fought against him harder. “I need to go, I can’t be here, please let me go,” she cried.

  As the taxi pulled up close to the curb, she wrenched herself from his arms and dove into the taxi as he called her name. She looked back and saw him run his hands through his hair in exasperation.

  As she lie in bed that night, tears finally spent, she knew she was being unfair to Rush. The blame lay with her father. He’d lied to both of them. Pain squeezed agonizingly at her heart. She didn’t know what to do. The pain of opening the newspaper and seeing him with an arm wrapped around a different woman each week on the society page had been more than she could bear. She didn’t know if she could stand to have continual contact with him as they raised a child together… a son. She wondered why her father felt the need to lie to Rush about the baby? What purpose did it serve for him? She just didn’t know.

  ***

  The next day, feeling both vulnerable and confused, she left her office at noon and headed to the museum. The late summer weather was both hot and humid. She lifted a hand to pull her hair away from her nape as she walked. She waved to Antonio, who was manning the turnstile at the museum, and headed to the atrium area. As she’d done a thousand times in the past, she sat down gingerly on the stone bench and soaked in the beauty of the space. She was excited as they just installed a new statue. It was a replica of the Pieta. The smooth marbled lines of Jesus’s limp body in the arms of his mother was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen. She could sit and stare at it for hours… and she had.

  She placed a hand at the center of her back and rubbed against the discomfort found there. She was tired today due to a nearly sleepless night the night before. She still wasn’t sure what to do about Rush. No, that wasn’t true. She knew she wouldn’t keep him away from his child if he wanted to have that relationship. She guessed the easiest way was to simply let the lawyers hash out the details.

  She closed her eyes and rolled her shoulders. She could hear people moving about the room looking at different pieces of art.

  She tensed at the husky voice directly behind her. “I’m told the great Aristotle said there is no great genius without a mixture of madness.”

  She clenched her teeth to stop her lips from trembling. She opened her eyes and stared straight ahead. She couldn’t formulate a response to him, so she said nothing.

  “If that’s true, then I must be an Einstein, as I think I’m certifiably insane,” Rush continued as he moved around the bench to sit next to her.

  Still she continued to stare straight ahead. She struggled to swallow the huge lump forming in her throat.

  Rush leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs. From her periphery, she saw him turn his face towards her. “I’ve missed you,” he said huskily.

  She couldn’t stop her chin from wobbling at his words. She dropped her gaze from straight ahead to her lap, but still didn’t answer. She knew she’d never be able to stop the tears if she opened her mouth. She did not want to cry in front of him again.

  “I went by your father’s house last night to talk to you. He told me you’d moved out, but he didn’t know where you’d moved. I wasn’t sure whether that was a lie or not,” he said.

  “It… it’s not a lie. I wouldn’t tell him,” she finally answered softly.

  “Trinity, I’m sorry. When your father told me that you’d… told me what he told me, I felt betrayed. But more than that, I thought it was your way of tying up all your loose ends, so to speak. Loose ends you deserved to tie up. I was hurt. But I thought you were justified in your actions after the way things played out between us. I wasn’t surprised you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

  “I don’t,” she whispered, knowing it was a lie but needing to strike out at him.

  He inhaled sharply. “I deserve that.” He was silent for several minutes. “Trinity, I don’t know what to do here. I’ll do whatever you want. Please know I did everything I could to protect you… and I’ll continue to do so. Whatever you need is yours. I love you, Trinity.”

  She sucked in a staggering breath at his words. “Please don’t say things like that,” she said raggedly.

  “It’s true,” he said simply.

  “You deserted me,” she whispered.

  He pressed his fingers against his eyes and clenched his jaw. “I’m sorry. I thought it was what you wanted.”

  Trinity absently rubbed a hand against her protruding belly. Rush watched her with agonized eyes. She turned her head and caught his expression. She couldn’t stop the sharp intake of air. He looked as she felt… battered and bruised.

  She turned her eyes away from his and dropped her hands from her stomach. “When Jim had me tied up in the garage, I thought about what you’d told me that day in your office; about how you tried to protect me and I started to believe you.” She lifted a hand to wipe across her trembling lips. “And then in the hospital, like a fool, I kept waiting for you and you never showed… you wouldn’t take any of my calls… I was devastated,” she ended on a whisper. With nervous fingers, she tucked stray hairs behind her ears. “I didn’t know about my father obviously, although I should have guessed.” She turned to him and looked at him fully for the first time, noting his drawn features and the dark shadows under his eyes. “But even though he told you that… you left me there… like it didn’t matter… like I didn’t matter – was of such little importance to you. And now you show up. If it’s about the baby, don’t worry, I’ll never keep him from you. I’ll have my attorney draw up the papers.”

  He turned his eyes away from hers. With his shoulders slouching as if in defeat and in an emotionless tone, he said, “I let you walk away that day in my office. I let you go and you were almost killed. I should have asked about your security detail, but I was so rattled I didn’t think about it. It made me doubt my ability to keep you safe. And then when I saw Franklin lift that gun and shoot you, I realized in that moment how much it would hurt to lose you. I was a coward. I thought you gave me an easy way out… and I took it. I’m not proud of that. But when I saw you last night, I realized I’d take what I could get. Please give me another chance. I do want our child… but I’m greedy, I want it all.”

  She winced as the baby moved his feet into one of her ribs.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked, concerned.

 
“Nothing, the baby moved.”

  His eyes blinked rapidly for several moments. “Can I… would you mind… if I felt him?”

  Hesitantly, she gave a quick nod. He placed a hand lightly against her belly. She placed her hand over his to move it where the baby was kicking. He jerked upright when he felt the movement underneath his hand. He dropped to his knees in front of her, never minding the other people milling about or the fact he was in his high-priced suit. He cradled her belly within his two hands and waited until he felt the movement again. He lifted glassy eyes up to hers.

  “Our son,” he whispered.

  She nodded with a watery smile.

  He leaned forward and pressed his cheek against her stomach, smiling when he felt the resounding thump against his face. He wrapped his muscular arms around her thickened waist and rubbed his face against her belly.

  “Please give me another chance…. give us another chance,” he pleaded with her.

  She lifted a hand and tentatively threaded it through his hair. He turned his godlike face into it and pressed a kiss against her palm. “I’m scared,” she admitted on a shuddering breath.

  He rose and sat down beside her. He turned to her and palmed her cheek and lightly pressed his lips against hers. “Have dinner with me,” he demanded in the same tone he’d used the first time he’d asked her to dance. This was the man she remembered from Vail. The aggressive, take-no-prisoners man.

  With her heart pounding, she gave him a hesitant nod of her head.

  He smiled. “I’ll have Radcliff pick you up from work.” He rose and once again pressed his lips against hers. He gave her one last pat on her cheek and turned to walk away. He’d taken a couple steps before turning around to add with a grin, “Don’t forget your toothbrush.”

  She stared after him for a long time. Could she trust him? Was it her he was after or only the baby? She thought of the long line of women he’d been photographed with in recent months. Even if she did believe him, how long would a wealthy, handsome man like Rush Drayton be interested in her? He’d only been interested in her in the beginning to get next to her father. How could she ever be sure of his true intentions now? So many questions, so few answers.

  ***

  She shivered in the back of the towncar as Radcliff drove towards Rush’s house on the bay. It wasn’t the temperature in the car, which was set at a perfect seventy-two degrees, it was the fear of moving forward. It was the fear of wanting something so badly but not being confident of ever being able to obtain it.

  She inhaled deeply when the car swung into Rush’s circular drive. She accepted Radcliff’s assistance as she alighted from the car. She stood for a moment in the entryway of the grand house and almost turned back around to have Radcliff take her home. Indecision and fear swamped her. She didn’t think she could do this. She’d believed him before and he’d crushed her. It wasn’t just about her anymore; she had a child to think about now.

  She’d taken a step back when the grand ornate entry door opened. Rush stood framed in the doorway. He changed from his expensive suit and was now dressed casually in worn jeans and a pearl-grey linen shirt. The shirt was untucked and the long sleeves were rolled up, revealing his muscular forearms. His dark hair was swept to the side and his hazel eyes looked more green than brown tonight. He was smiling down at her. As unsure as she felt seemed to be in stark contrast to his confidence.

  She gave him a hesitant smile in return. He reached forward and tugged her hand, urging her into the house. He closed the door and moved to her smoothly. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close to him as her belly would allow. He lowered his lips to hers and kissed her sweetly. She closed her eyes against the twist of her heart the touch of his lips brought. She didn’t know if she could endure being hurt again. The last time nearly destroyed her.

  He led her into the vast living room with its high vaulted ceilings and huge windows. He sat on the couch and she followed, sitting a little ways from him. This reminded her of the last time she’d been here when he’d told her he didn’t want to see her anymore. She shivered against the memory.

  He moved a little closer to her and touched her arm. “Are you cold?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Can I get you something to drink? I have juice, water… anything you’d want, really.”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  He studied her face intently before brushing the back of his fingers against her cheekbone. “I’ve missed you,” he said softly.

  His words tore at her. He’d said them before. “I’ve seen your picture in the paper a lot recently,” she said as she glanced away from his intense stare.

  “You have?” he asked as he moved a little closer to her on the couch and began to stroke his fingers over her shoulder.

  She cleared her throat against his touch. “Yes, it would seem you’ve been too busy to miss me. What, with the stream of women you were photographed with.”

  His fingers stilled against her skin. After a second, he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against the rapid pulse beating in her neck. He scraped his lips up to her ear and whispered, “They meant nothing.”

  Raggedly, she replied, “If you told them that, I can see why you had to date so many.”

  He stilled his lips at her words. He drew back and ran a hand over the side of his head. “Trinity, I don’t know what to say here. I have no defense. I wish I could say none of it was true, that I hadn’t made some very serious mistakes during that time, but I did. I was a pig. I used those women to help me get over another one… you. But they weren’t you, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t close my eyes and not see your face. It was your skin I longed to touch… to taste. Your body I wanted to be intertwined with… but I didn’t think it’d ever be an option. And so, I flitted along from one woman to another.”

  Trinity stared down at the beaded bracelet she wore as she listened to his words, her arms surrounding her protruding belly. “What do you want from me?” she asked him softly.

  Without hesitation he tugged her chin up with his fingers to meet his eyes. “I want you in my life and in my bed, every day and every night. I want to build a life with you and our child. I hope one day, when you’re ready, to have more children. I want you happy and safe. I want you to love me and trust me and believe that I’m desperately in love with you.”

  She closed her eyes at the intensity of his gaze. “What happens when you change your mind… lose interest…?”

  “I won’t,” he said emphatically.

  “How can you be so sure?”

  He moved his face close to hers. “Because you’re what I want.” He slid his lips over hers silkily. “All I want,” he whispered before licking his way into her mouth. He weaved the fingers of both hands into her hair and pulled her to him roughly, desperately seeming to want to imprint his need and desire onto her… into her.

  She gasped at his intensity and slid her tongue against his as she laid her hands against his massive chest and breathed in his familiar scent. He pushed her back gently onto the couch and leaned over her as he trailed kisses over her jaw and down her neck. He captured her moan when he ran his hands over her swollen breasts. A movement against his ribs caused him to jerk up abruptly. He lifted her shirt and ran his hands over the skin covering their child. The baby kicked against the warmth emitted from Rush’s hands. He leaned down and placed soft, tender kisses against her protruding belly. He whispered to the life growing inside her, promising him love and protection.

  Love exploded in her chest as she watched him kiss and speak softly to their child. She didn’t think she’d ever loved him or wanted him more than she did right at this moment. With gentle hands, she pushed her shirt down and him away. He raised confused eyes to hers. She rose and held her hand out to him. With his eyebrows knitted together as he struggled to understand her intent, he placed his hand in hers. She tugged against his hand until he rose. Silently, she padded slowly down the hall, pulling an incredulous Rush
behind her.

  When they entered the darkened master bedroom, with her back to him, she withdrew her shirt over her head. She reached behind herself to unfasten her bra, but he brushed her hands away to unfasten it then slowly slipped the straps down her arms as he bent to press kisses against the arch of her neck and across her shoulders. She shivered at his touch. He slipped his arms around, surrounding both her and their son in his warm embrace. He ran his hands over her stomach and she leaned into him. They stood just like that for a long while.

  She turned in his arms and he captured her face within his hands and kissed her deeply. He pulled his mouth away from hers. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want to hurt you or the baby,” he murmured against her lips.

  “You won’t,” she murmured in reply.

  “I love you, Trinity Grace,” he said as he brushed her hair behind her shoulders.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered back. He closed his eyes as the intensity of her words flowed over him.

  “Stay with me tonight,” he said against her lips as he slid his hands against her skin.

  “Okay,” she whispered against lips.

  His fingers found the scar from the gunshot wound and he lowered his lips to press them lightly there. He inhaled sharply and grabbed her head fiercely within his hands and kissed her desperately – trying to banish the nightmare of that day from their memories.

  “Stay with me always,” he murmured.

  With a grin against his lips, she answered, “I’ll need more toothbrushes.”

  The End

  Dear Readers:

  I hope you have enjoyed Part 1 of the Rush series. Rush of Redemption: Book 2, the startling conclusion to Rush and Trinity’s tale, will be available August 2013.

  Two other books in this series will be available by the year’s end: Master of the Game – the sensual tale of Alex and Devon; and Hunter’s Mark – the titillating saga of Hunter and Sundra.