The Gift of Twins

by Gabrielle Meyer

  “See the latch,” Levi said, crowding her to point at it. “Touch the latch and—”

  Ben stepped over and lifted the boy into his arms, tossing him into the air with a smile. “Let her open it and see for herself.”

  Levi laughed, and the others followed, but Emmy was too focused on the locket to join in.

  She touched the latch and the two halves parted. On one side was a picture of Levi and the other was a picture of Zeb—perfect likenesses.

  “We sat for a pho-to-graph-er.” Levi concentrated on each syllable, but then he smiled and wiggled out of Ben’s arm. “So you can look at us whenever you want.”

  Emmy fingered the images as tears streaked down her cheeks. Now she wouldn’t have to rely on memory alone. She would always have these pictures to cherish.

  “Don’t you like it, Miss Emmy?” Zeb asked, coming to stand beside her.

  She wiped away her tears and offered a wobbly smile to the little boy. “It’s the best gift anyone has ever given me.”

  Levi raced across the room and threw himself into her arms, and then Zeb hugged her, too, and she held both boys. “Thank you,” she whispered to them.

  When they pulled away, she looked at Ben. He was watching her with his own joyful sorrow. She smiled at him, too. “Thank you for this lovely gift. I will cherish it forever.”

  He nodded, but didn’t say anything, and she imagined he was just as emotional as her. He turned and poked at the logs in the fireplace, taking several deep breaths.

  “And you, too,” she said to Mr. Lahaye and then Mrs. Carver. “Thank you.”

  “It was our pleasure, dearie.” Mrs. Carver’s sweet smile warmed Emmy’s heart.

  Ben turned back to the group. “I hate to be the one to break up this party, but it’s gotten very late and the boys should be in bed.”

  “We haven’t given you your present yet.” Levi ran to Mr. Lahaye’s side and whispered into his ear.

  Mr. Lahaye nodded and went to the hook by the front door. Levi and Zeb also went to the hook and Mrs. Carver joined them to help them get on their outside clothing.

  “What’s all this?” Ben asked.

  “They’re getting your present,” Emmy said.

  “Where?”

  “I had it delivered to the barn this evening—at least, I hope Mr. Caldwell delivered it.”

  “The furniture maker?” Ben asked.

  Emmy smiled, wiping at her cheeks with her handkerchief. “I’m not giving you any more hints.”

  The boys pulled Mr. Lahaye into the kitchen and out the back door, while Mrs. Carver slipped into the kitchen herself, closing the door behind her.

  It left Emmy and Ben alone in the front room.

  He stood with his hands in his pockets, while Emmy fingered the locket.

  “Would you like me to put it on you?” he asked quietly.

  She nodded and handed it to him when he approached.

  For a few seconds, he fumbled with the clasp on the chain. “I don’t know why they make these things so small.”

  “They’re meant for a lady’s fingers,” she supplied.

  “There.” He looked up a bit triumphant. “I have it.”

  She turned and waited as he reached around her and placed the chain around her neck. It rested gently on her chest and she looked down to admire it. “It’s beautiful, Ben.”

  He secured it in place and she turned back to show him.

  “I thought you’d like it.” He looked at the fine piece of jewelry, and then met her gaze. “I picked a tree, because it reminded me of the work you’re doing with all the students. You’re giving them roots in education, and later, the fruit of that education will feed families for generations to come.”

  Tears threatened again as she bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

  A moment later, Mrs. Carver opened the kitchen door and held it for Mr. Lahaye and the boys as they traipsed in with Ben’s gift.

  His eyes grew wide as he looked over the bookshelf.

  “It’s for all your books,” Levi pronounced. “Miss Emmy helped us design it and then she gave the design to the builder.”

  “Is that what you were working on the day I took you sledding?” Ben asked.

  The boys nodded vigorously.

  “You can get all your books off the floor now,” Zeb said.

  “It’s perfect.” Ben ran his hands over the smooth walnut. “It’s the most beautiful shelf I’ve ever seen.” He picked up Zeb and then Levi, giving them both a hug. “Thank you.”

  “Shouldn’t Miss Emmy get a hug, too?” Levi asked.

  Ben set the boys down and looked at Emmy. “Thank you for this gift.”

  “It’ll fit perfect over here,” she said quickly, walking across the room to where his books were piled on the floor.

  “And I bought a few books for you to add to your collection,” Mrs. Carver said, taking her gift from under the tree and handing it to Ben.

  His hands were full now, and Emmy hoped he wouldn’t try to hug her in front of all these people. Not that she didn’t want to be hugged—but she didn’t want anyone to see what his hug might do to her.

  “All right, boys.” Mrs. Carver clapped her hands. “All good things must come to an end, as my pappy used to say.”

  The boys groaned.

  Mr. Lahaye stretched his arms. “I’m ready to go to sleep myself. Been a long day.”

  “Say good-night,” Mrs. Carver said to the boys.

  Zeb and Levi hugged Emmy and Ben, and shook Mr. Lahaye’s hand before Mrs. Carver rushed them up the stairs. She peeked her head around the stairway door. “There are warm bricks in the oven for your feet, dearies. Take your time and enjoy a nice sleigh ride.”

  Mr. Lahaye said good-night and went into Ben’s room where he’d been sleeping on a pallet since their return from Owatonna.

  “Are you ready?” Ben asked.

  She nodded, though she hated to see this evening end. When she thought of missing the boys, her hand went up to the locket and it offered a bit of comfort.

  He helped her with her outdoor clothing and she went into the kitchen to wrap the bricks in towels. Ben went out to the barn to hitch up the open sleigh and she waited until he drove it out of the barn, and then she took the bricks and stepped outside to join him.

  It had to be well past midnight, which meant it was officially Christmas Eve. Clouds had filled the sky, and snow was softly falling, adding another layer to several feet already on the ground. Everything was still and peaceful. Not an animal or person stirred within sight.

  Ben helped her into the sleigh and tucked the buffalo robe around her skirts. He set the bricks near their feet, and Emmy was thankful for the heat they emanated.

  Ginger led the way out of town, the bells on her harness jingling with each movement she made. The drive wouldn’t take long. Usually, Emmy appreciated the short distance to and from town, but tonight, she wished the Janners lived farther away.

  Neither one said a word, though there was much Emmy longed to say. She wanted to talk about the boys’ departure, about Ben’s newfound relationship with his father and about the rumors he might have heard concerning her and Adam. Yet, she didn’t know how to broach any of those subjects, so she remained quiet.

  The Janners’ farm came within sight and Ben slowed Ginger until she was hardly moving. He turned and looked at Emmy. “There’s something I need to tell you,” he said softly. “I didn’t want to say anything until everyone had had their fun tonight.”

  His voice was thick with emotion, making her heart pound harder.

  Her eyes had adjusted and she was able to make out his features with ease. It almost hurt to look at his handsome face, knowing that she must harden her heart to the feelings he stirred within her.

/>   “I’ve accepted my father’s invitation to go to Montreal.”

  Emmy’s mouth parted at the declaration, her thoughts coming into complete focus. “Montreal?”

  He nodded and looked down. “I think it’s for the best. With the boys leaving...and—I just think I need to move on.”

  She was speechless. Heartache was too kind a word for what she felt knowing that the boys and Ben would leave. She realized that she had taken comfort knowing she’d still see Ben on Sundays and around town—yet, the thought of never seeing him again was more than she could bear. How would she endure the grief and loneliness?

  “Emmy.” Ben took her hands in his. Though they both wore mittens, she could feel his warmth seeping into her cold hands.

  She forced herself to take a deep breath. She would not panic. She could endure the pain of separation again, couldn’t she?

  “I want you to know something.” His gaze was as serious as she’d ever seen it. “I love you, Emery Anne Wilkes.”

  His were the most bittersweet words she’d ever heard. When William had told her he loved her, she had fallen into his arms and returned his love with abandon. She wasn’t at liberty to be so foolish and naive again. Giving freely meant receiving grief and loneliness in return. Tears filled her eyes and she looked down.

  “I will always love you.” He put his hand under her chin and lifted it for her to look at him. “It’s because I love you that I’m leaving. You’ve made your decision clear and I respect you for that, but I can’t stay here and watch you fall in love with another man—”

  “I’m not in love with another man.”

  “Maybe not now, but someday you will be, and it would be impossible for me to watch.”

  She swallowed the lump of emotions that wanted to make her sob.

  “I’m leaving the day after tomorrow,” he said.

  “Christmas?”

  “It’s as good a day as any. I can’t stay here after the boys are gone. There’s no point. I will say my goodbyes during my last church service on Christmas morning and then my father and I will leave.” He ran his mitted thumb over the top of her hands. “I’m sorry for going so suddenly. I just can’t stay any longer.”

  Ginger was about to walk past the Janners’ place, so Ben let go of Emmy’s hands and turned the horse into their property. They drove up the long drive and he pulled to the front of the house, stopping the sleigh near their door.

  Emmy’s hands had grown cold and her insides felt empty.

  Ben stepped out of the sleigh and walked around to help her out. He moved aside the buffalo robe and offered his hand.

  She took it and climbed out of the sleigh, though her legs didn’t want to work properly.

  They walked to the door and came to a stop. She couldn’t look at him, for fear of crumbling into his arms. “I don’t want this to be goodbye,” she managed to say.

  “This is the only way.”

  She nodded and then reached for the doorknob, but he placed his hand over hers.

  The snow continued to fall, landing on her cheeks and nose. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to look up at him.

  “Goodbye, Em.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips, taking her breath and her heart in one instant, and then he was gone.

  She watched him pull away, willing him to look back, but he never did.

  * * *

  The next evening, stars had started to appear as Ben paced from the front door to the Christmas tree and back. All day, he’d been on edge, wondering when Malachi Trask would show up at his front door.

  After breakfast that morning, Ben had told Levi and Zeb that their father was coming to take them. The boys had cried and begged Ben to keep them, but he’d explained through his own tears that they didn’t belong to him and that he had to give them back.

  He took them sledding one more time, and then they had come home and packed their bags. Ben didn’t know if Mr. Trask would come during the morning or the afternoon, but now, as the evening hours encroached, he wondered if the man would come on the morrow, instead.

  “Why don’t you go to the Christmas Eve ball?” Mrs. Carver asked as she stepped out into the front room. “The boys and I will make caramel and popcorn. As soon as Mr. Trask arrives, I’ll send word to you and you can come back.”

  Ben had wanted to go to the ball to say goodbye to his friends and parishioners, since he was leaving the next day, but he didn’t want to miss the boys’ departure, either.

  “I’ll come and get you myself.” Father sat in Ben’s rocker, reading the local newspaper, The Northern Herald, and nodded his agreement with Mrs. Carver. “You should go. You’re driving all of us crazy with your pacing.”

  Levi and Zeb were lying on their stomachs in front of the fireplace playing a game of checkers, though he could tell their hearts weren’t in the game. Zeb looked up, his sad expression making Ben’s gut fill with guilt. He couldn’t leave the boys, not now, not when they knew this was their last day with him.

  “Go, Mr. Ben,” Zeb said. “We’ll have caramels waiting for you when you come back.”

  “Listen to the boy,” Mrs. Carver said with a sweet smile. “You’re making them more nervous with all your pacing. I’ll keep them occupied until their father arrives.”

  He didn’t want to miss a single moment with the boys, but he didn’t want to miss one last evening with his friends, either.

  “I’ll go,” Ben finally said. “But you must get me immediately.”

  “I will,” Father promised.

  Ben stepped into his room and changed into his evening clothes. His canvas bag sat by the door, awaiting departure. He’d packed just enough to get by on the trip. Father had said there was no need to take anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. There would be time and resources to buy everything he needed in Montreal.

  He hated leaving behind his books, though he’d gotten along without them during his circuit riding days. They had been a luxury during his years in Little Falls, and he suspected he’d make a new library in Canada. But it was a shame to leave the shelf Emmy and the boys had made for him. When they had given it to him, none knew about his upcoming move, none but Mrs. Carver. He’d already shared the news with her, telling her she could stay in the parsonage as long as she needed before traveling to her daughter. He’d already gotten approval from Abram who said it might be some time before they could find a replacement for Ben, so they wouldn’t need the parsonage.

  The thought of leaving his parishioners without a pastor didn’t set well with Ben. He’d worked tirelessly to draw many of them to church week after week, and some had serious needs—physical, mental and spiritual—that he was meeting. He prayed fervently that God would bring another pastor to them soon, and that none would look at his sudden departure as abandonment. Pastors came and went, didn’t they? Then why was he feeling so heavy at the thought of going?

  He took his time getting ready, praying over each person who attended church, and those he’d been ministering to in the community who didn’t. The ball wouldn’t get under way until eight o’clock, though it would run past midnight, for sure, into the wee hours of Christmas morning. He planned to be home long before then to say goodbye to the boys and be rested for the morning service.

  As he dressed, he thought of Emmy. Truth be told, he’d thought of her all day and hadn’t slept much the night before, either. It had been foolish and selfish to kiss her one last time. If he’d had the wherewithal at the moment, he should have apologized, but he’d left her as fast as he could, afraid he might continue kissing her if he didn’t.

  Ben finally left his room a while later, in no particular hurry to be gone.

  “My, my.” Mrs. Carver raised her eyebrows. “You look very handsome, Reverend Lahaye.”

  Father nodded his approval, as well. “You’ll
be a very desirable bachelor when we arrive in Montreal.” It was all his father talked about. Marrying well was something important to Phillippe, though Ben wondered why he would make such a fuss when his own arranged marriage was in shambles.

  It didn’t matter to Ben. He’d do what needed to be done, when the time came.

  “I think I’ll head out now.” Ben hugged the boys and then put on his outdoor coat. “If it gets too late, put the boys to bed. We can always invite Mr. Trask to spend the night and get an early start in the morning.”

  “That’s not a bad idea,” Father agreed.

  “Be sure to send for me immediately, though.” Ben put on his hat and secured his gloves in place. “I still want to be here.”

  “Go on.” Father opened the front door and Ben stepped into the cold night air. Stars sparkled across the expanse of sky. He took a deep breath and started toward the Northern, praying all the way. The boys and Emmy were out of Ben’s hands, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pray for them. He’d always pray, no matter how much space separated them.

  When he reached the hotel, he stepped over the threshold and into the front lobby. Already, dozens of people had gathered and music was spilling out of the double doors leading into the ballroom.

  Though he knew Emmy wasn’t planning to attend, he couldn’t help but hope that she had changed her mind. He glanced around the room for a glimpse of her blond ringlets.

  “Ben.” Abram waved at him from across the room and walked in his direction, Charlotte on his arm. They were a striking couple and well respected. A fine combination.

  Charlotte broke away from Abram and stepped into Ben’s arms, taking him by surprise as she wrapped him in a hug. “Abram told me the news. Oh, Ben, why are you going?”

  Ben hugged her back, offering Abram a knowing smile over her head. He suspected the other ball guests were surprised at the gesture between them, but he didn’t care at the moment. In every way, Charlotte was like a little sister to him and he suspected this was how a sister would act given the same news. “My father invited me to go to Montreal.”