Amanda's Blue Marine

by Doreen Owens Malek

  “I’ve heard some talk about it. He played in high school but I think he was a little heavier then. Now he’s in some kind of police basketball league and he runs in distance events too. And he teaches classes at his brother’s karate school.”

  “He was a running back in school, most likely,” Karen said. “That makes sense. They’re lighter because they… run a lot. Have to be fast.”

  Mandy looked past her toward the hall, uncomfortable with having this personal conversation about Kelly while he was unconscious two feet away from them.

  “When I get a patient like this in the ER I always make him take his shirt off, even if he has a toe injury,” Karen observed.

  Mandy grinned in spite of herself. Karen was incorrigible.

  “What’s that?” Karen asked, pointing to the fresh scar on Kelly’s arm.

  “Cameron stabbed him before Kelly was able to...” she stopped.

  “Kill him?” Karen supplied.

  “Yes.”

  “And that?” Karen asked, indicating an older scar that began below Kelly’s belt and crawled two inches up his abdomen.

  “Iraq, I think. He never talks about it and I haven’t inquired.”

  Karen shook her head slowly. “Are you sure you want to be involved with this buccaneer?” she asked rhetorically.

  “It’s too late to ask myself that question,” Mandy replied. “The answer wouldn’t have stopped me anyway. I was cooked from the day I met him.”

  Karen snapped her bag shut. “You always were a hopeless romantic,” she said. “It’s a setup for heartbreak. Cynics don’t get hurt.”

  Mandy couldn’t argue with that.

  “Let’s leave him alone to sleep for a while. Come out to the living room. I want to talk to you,” Karen said.

  Mandy followed Karen meekly into the other room, sure she was going to get a lecture. Karen pulled open the refrigerator door as she passed the small kitchen and frowned, then closed the door.

  “Amanda, what are you doing?” Karen began, starting to replace the items she had used in her satchel.

  “What am I doing?”

  “Yes. I read about the medal ceremony in the paper this morning and then the next thing I know after that I’m getting an emergency call to examine your boyfriend here. What’s been going on?”

  Mandy brought Karen up to speed as quickly as she could. As she finished Karen said, “Are you sure you know what you’re getting into with this guy?”

  “What do you mean?” Mandy asked.

  “Well, let’s start with the fact that he clearly has a problem with alcohol,” Karen said. “It didn’t give him the flu directly but he reacted to the stress of your abandonment with a bender.”

  “One night hardly constitutes a bender. And I didn’t abandon anybody.”

  “He thought you had, and he responded by getting hammered. That’s stress drinking, and it probably impaired his immune system to the point where this bug could overtake him. The two events are not coincidental. He’s a young guy in top physical condition and he just happens to crash with a flu that usually attacks kids and old people? Why?”

  “You’re telling me that this illness is my fault,” Mandy said miserably.

  “And have you really looked at this place?” Karen asked, not listening. “He lives here? Everything is white and sterile, the sheets, the blankets, the towels, the blinds. It’s like he bought it all at the same warehouse and just distributed it around the apartment. No décor, no pictures or personal touches, unless you count the fast food flyers taped to the wall. It looks like a barracks or a summer camp. Or a prison ward. Everything’s bare and featureless. What is he, a Carmelite nun?”

  “He’s never here, Karen. He works shifts all the time and helps his brother with karate classes in between. He just comes home to shower and change and sleep.”

  “I still say it’s strange. And the refrigerator is empty, did you notice? I was looking for some juice or bottled water for him to drink but there’s nothing in there. Except a head of lettuce and a six pack of beer. It’s a great diet for an alcoholic bunny but I don’t think it’s doing much for the health of your boy here.”

  Mandy said nothing. She didn’t care if Kelly kept plutonium in his freezer as long as he woke up from whatever this funk was and started acting like Kelly again. The strong, capable Kelly who loved her.

  Karen sighed dramatically. “I can see that you’re not paying attention to me. I guess you haven’t noticed that the dining room is filled with gym equipment. Does he serve dinner on the stairstepper?”

  “He doesn’t serve dinner, Karen. The Chinese menus are there for a reason.”

  “This is the home of a lonely person,” Karen said bluntly.

  “I get that,” Mandy replied, some heat coming up in her voice as she defended Kelly. “What you don’t get is that I’m lonely too. My condo may look better because I have a lot more money and my mother decorated it but Kelly and I are both in the same position, really. He has friends and family and I do too but both of us were looking for the one person who would fill that emptiness that never goes away no matter how busy or successful you are. His medal ceremony today was filled with people, the police force and city brass and reporters. But I was the only one there who really knew him. His sister is out of the country and his brother had to cover both of their classes at the karate school. This was his big moment and he was alone except for me. We’re both alone. And we didn’t even know it until we met each other. Can you understand that?”

  Karen sighed. “I understand one thing. You love him so desperately that you don’t want to see his problems and you’re willing to do anything for him. I’m very concerned about you because that’s a scary place to be. It makes people lose perspective. They do stupid things. Have you had the conversation with this guy?”

  “What conversation?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me, Amanda Rose, I know you too well. The STD/birth control/ who has a disease? conversation.”

  “He doesn’t have a disease. He’s tested every year by the department. I’ve seen the results.”

  “Did he have the report printed up as flyers?” Karen asked dryly. “For distribution, I mean.”

  “Karen, you’re not amusing me. He knows I’m on the pill and neither one of us is infected with anything. Now can you stop filling out a health care form and help me with him?”

  “Don’t get huffy. I’m just telling you to be careful. Remember what Shakespeare said about deceit coming in a gorgeous package.”

  “Dwelling in a gorgeous palace.”

  “All right, all right. You were the English major. You know what I mean.”

  Mandy sighed inwardly. She did know. Karen was really bringing out the big guns.

  “This guy is a shark,” Karen continued. “If I couldn’t learn that just from looking at him his apartment tells the story. He has no time to buy a loaf of bread because he’s too busy getting laid. His place here is a crib. I don’t doubt that he’s in love with you right now. This illness is probably proof that you have gotten to him. But how long is that going to last? Is he even capable of fidelity? Is he going to change his whole approach to life for you? I’ll say it again, be careful. And I mean that in both senses: take care of your health AND your heart. Both are in jeopardy. He could be pretty poison and you won’t know that until it’s too late.”

  “I will be careful,” Mandy replied quietly.

  Karen observed Mandy’s distracted expression and said wearily, “I know that listening to me is not important to you right now. All you care about is getting him better and you don’t give a damn if he’s Casanova or if his apartment looks like the seg unit at San Quentin. Am I right?”

  Mandy nodded.

  “Okay. Enough said. The meds will be delivered shortly, just follow the label directions. The pharmacy has a grocery aisle, I’ll send along some orange juice, loaded with sugar and potassium. Give him the OTC niacin as directed. Get him to drink the juice, keep him hydrated.
I should warn you that this may get worse before it gets better…”

  “Worse?” Mandy whispered. “How?”

  “Chills, sweating. Keep him warm, the ague will pass. And call me, and call an ambulance too, if he seizes.”

  “Seizes? Oh, God.”

  “His fever is pretty high, that’s possible. It looks bad while it’s happening but usually doesn’t cause any damage.”

  “Usually?” Mandy said weakly.

  “I’m giving you the worst case scenario, all right? It’s almost certain not to happen but I want you to be prepared. And if he falls, call an ambulance then too. He’s pretty big. He looks slim but these football types are tight, solid muscle. You’ll both wind up on the floor if you try to pick him up yourself.”

  Mandy looked toward the bedroom.

  “Go back in there,” Karen said. “I understand. You don’t want to leave him alone.”

  “Karen…”

  Karen waved her hand. “It’s all right, you don’t have to say anything else. I’ll be okay with the house call if you’re okay with what I said about him.” She searched Mandy’s face.

  Mandy nodded. “I know you’re right. I’ve seen all the signs you’ve mentioned. All I can tell you is that he is different with me. I know that seems like the biggest trap in the world, thinking you can change him, but I’m not TRYING to change him. I think that hooking up with me was a big departure for him and he’s having a lot of trouble handling it. He’ll take on anything physically but emotionally he’s a very different story. He’s scared, and so am I. He can’t admit it, even to himself, so he drops with this bug when he thinks I’ve ditched him. It makes sense.” She closed her eyes. “This relationship is putting both of us to the test.”

  “And you haven’t even done the deed yet,” Karen said.

  “But we’re going for it. Does that mean we’re fools?”

  “Maybe it means you’re in love,” Karen said.

  Mandy stared at her. “Excuse me, but didn’t you just spend two hours trying to talk me out of this?”

  Karen shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure you understand the risks here. I have never felt about anyone the way you feel about him, so I have no personal experience to offer, only observations. I could be wrong.”

  Mandy gasped dramatically. “You’re never wrong, are you?”

  “On rare occasions,” Karen said airily. “Comet passing, blue moon, second coming. That type of thing.”

  Mandy hugged Karen quickly. “I honestly don’t know how to thank you for this.”

  “What are friends for, right? You’re lucky I just got my full license last month. Otherwise I could have been censured for issuing scripts outside the ER.”

  “What do you want in return?” Mandy asked, teasing.

  “I’ll figure out something,” Karen said dryly. “First born child, lifetime annuity, something. Listen for the doorbell, the meds should be here in about an hour. I’ll order them stat. Give me a call if there’s a new problem.”

  “I will.” Mandy hugged her friend again and shut the door after Karen left. Then Mandy sprinted back to the bedroom. Kelly still appeared to be sleeping and she slipped onto the bed next to him, touching his exposed neck, which still felt very hot. He turned toward her, murmuring, and she got under the sheet next to him. He fell silent and she lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what else she could do to help him.

  She was so tired, but she couldn’t go to sleep. She had to stay awake to watch Kelly, and she had to answer the door when the pharmacy delivery arrived. But if she just closed her eyes for a few minutes, a little rest might help. She should have asked Karen to stay, but Karen was exhausted herself and had done enough.

  Kelly stirred and Mandy smoothed his hair back from his brow.

  He had to be all right. It was just a bad case of the flu.

  That was the last thought she had before she fell asleep.

  11

  Mandy heard a buzzer and thought it was her watch. Then she sat up and realized the sound was too loud. The apartment doorbell was ringing.

  She looked at Kelly sleeping beside her and stumbled to her feet, padding barefoot to the door and accepting the delivery. She gave the driver a tip and then ripped open the white bags, holding the little plastic bottles up to the light and reading the directions. She got a glass of water and ran into the bedroom.

  Kelly pushed her hand away when she tried to give him a pill. A short wrestling match ensued until he realized that it was Mandy struggling with him and then he did what she wanted. He swallowed both meds and fell back on the pillows as she shut off the light and said to him gently, “Go back to sleep. You’ll feel better soon.”

  Mandy lay down beside him and was dozing in seconds.

  She came awake some time later in the day when she realized Kelly was trembling violently.

  He was having chills. She had to keep him warm. Mandy got up groggily and found extra blankets in the bedroom closet. She draped them over him and then crawled under them with him. When he was still moving restlessly she fitted herself against his back and clung to him like a limpet. She wrapped her arms and legs around him tightly. He finally settled down and then sighed as her breath fanned the back of his neck. She felt his tension ebbing and she pressed her lips to the back of his smooth shoulder, thinking that under other circumstances she would really have enjoyed this moment. His fit body was trim and well muscled and as always he smelled just like himself, intensified by the perspiration caused by his temperature.

  All she could think about was getting him well.

  He’ll be fine, Mandy told herself, trying not to notice how hot his skin still was. It was a fever and it would pass.

  Some time later she went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, redressed in the same clothes and then set her watch to go off in six hours so she could give Kelly his medications.

  * * * * *

  The watch alarm woke her and she got up to get Kelly to swallow the next dose of pills. He opened his eyes when she roused him and took the white capsule and pink horse spansule obediently. Then he folded his arms around her waist as she stood next to the bed.

  He put his head on her shoulder and whispered, “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” Mandy replied, stroking his damp hair.

  “Am I sick?” he murmured, still holding on to her. The skin of his exposed arms and chest was warm, but not fiery, as it had been earlier.

  Yes, you are,” she replied. “But I’m taking care of you. Just like you took care of me.”

  He nodded, his eyes still closed. Then his eyes opened.

  “I have to go to work,” he said.

  “Shh, it’s Sunday. You’re off this weekend. I want to get you a drink, I’ll be right back.”

  Mandy returned with a large glass of iced orange juice and he drank it as quickly as she would let him, then looked around dopily, his gaze unfocused. “Was somebody here? I heard voices.”

  “I called my friend Karen. You said I could. She’s a doctor, remember?”

  His lips formed slight smile. “She thinks I’m bad news,” he said softly.

  Mandy felt a twinge of alarm. Had he overheard their conversation?

  “She thinks you’re hot,” Amanda said.

  “Today she’s right,” he replied dryly, his voice barely audible.

  “That reminds me. I have to take your temperature, okay?”

  “Okay.” He sat patiently while she did and sighed when she said happily, “It’s come down, the meds are working. Just go back to sleep and when you wake up again you’ll feel better.”

  She pushed his shoulder gently in the direction of the bed and he slipped back into sleep easily.

  Mandy lay down next to him and pulled the blanket over both of them. She set her wristwatch alarm again and closed her eyes with relief.

  He had turned the corner. He would be back to normal shortly.

  Soon he would be better.

  * * * * *

>   When she woke up next time he was not better. He was stretched out next to her, his eyes closed. He was still pale beneath his fading tan and he looked drawn and spent.

  Mandy sat up in alarm and said aloud, “I have to call Karen.”

  Kelly roused slightly and murmured, “What is it?”

  “I think your fever has gone back up. I’m getting Karen on the phone.” She started to climb out of the bed.

  Kelly grabbed her arm and said, “Hey, wait a minute.”

  Mandy stared at him, trying to wake up fully, confused by his forceful reaction. It didn’t make sense. He should have been torpid with the returning fever.

  “I’m worried, Kel. You look wrung out,” she said.

  He shook his head. “Amanda, listen to me. The fever broke a couple of hours ago. I was up for a while.”

  He took her hand and pressed it to his forehead, which was damp and noticeably cooler.

  “I just let you sleep while I stumbled around and bumped into things. It took me half an hour to get dressed.” He grinned weakly.

  Mandy flung her arms around his neck. “I was so worried,” she whispered. “I thought you had gotten worse in your sleep.”

  “I wasn’t sleeping. I had just come back from the bathroom when you sat up next to me. I probably woke you.” He held her tightly with one arm, smoothing his other hand up and down her back and lifting her hair off her shoulders caressingly.