If You Must Know
Page 36
By the time my car door closes, fresh tears blur my vision. Contrary to my goal, I did not escape that closing with my dignity intact—behaving no better than my teen daughter.
It takes a bunch of tugging and a good lick to wrench my wedding rings from my finger. In the sunlight their dazzling sparkle is full of false promise, so I drop them into my purse. I stretch the fingers of my bare left hand, which now looks as unfamiliar as everything else about my undone life.
Richard wasn’t the husband I’d hoped he’d be, and ours hadn’t been the perfect marriage. But I’ve given so much of myself to that life that I can’t stand the way it’s ending. He’s skipping forward as if our years together meant nothing, leaving me behind on an uncertain path. Seeing him quickly—and happily—replace our family stings like an ice-cold shower.
I’ve been telling myself I’m not running. Telling myself that this move will be for the best.
Please, God, let me be right.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, I have many people to thank for helping me bring this book to all of you—not the least of whom are my family and friends for their continued love, encouragement, and support.
Thanks, also, to my agent, Jill Marsal, as well as to my patient editors, Chris Werner and Tiffany Yates Martin, whose keen eyes made this book so much stronger. And none of you would know about my work without the entire Montlake family working so hard on my behalf.
A number of people helped me with different elements of this book. It started with my friend’s husband, Brian Ong, a forensic accountant, and some of his coworkers (Lindi Jarvis, Toni Mele, and Lisa Dane), who helped me understand how husbands like Lyle plot and try to get away with these crimes, and how wives like Amanda often seek ways to recover money without involving the police. They provided a lot of details I ended up not including in my story, but I appreciated their time and advice. When I came up with the idea for the yacht (instead of a plane, as apparently is more common), my mother’s BFF and her husband, Ria and Bobby Baiz (who recently sold their house to sail into retirement), helped me better understand how Lyle might go about planning his escape, and how he might get caught. My daughter’s friend Meghan Kloud, an EMT, stellar student, and athlete, told me how Madeline’s fainting spell might be handled on-site. Jo Schaller, a Connecticut detective, and two former federal agents, who asked to remain anonymous, helped me flesh out what Amanda could and couldn’t do in her quest to track Lyle down. Despite all the research, I may have made some mistakes (or taken some liberties for the sake of fiction), so I own those and beg your forgiveness! The wet-bathing-suit memory comes from a friend with two sisters, Linda Kolodny Jens, so thanks for that one! I also need to thank my mother-in-law, Carol Day, a medium, who helped me create Nancy Thompson’s character and the scenes in which she’s delivering messages from beyond. I’m also so proud of my beloved daughter, Kayla, a budding songwriter, who wrote Eli’s song for me to use in this book.
I also want to thank my beta readers, Jane Haertel and Katherine Ong, for their feedback on the early draft.
I couldn’t produce any of my work without the MTBs, who help me plot and keep my spirits up when doubt grabs hold. And my Fiction From the Heart sisters also inspire me on a daily basis.
And I can’t leave out the wonderful members of my CTRWA chapter. Year after year, all the CTRWA members provide endless hours of support, feedback, and guidance. I love and thank them for that.
Finally, and most importantly, thank you, readers, for making my work worthwhile. Considering all your options, I’m honored by your choice to spend your time with me.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Photo © 2016 Lorah Haskins
Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author Jamie Beck’s realistic and heartwarming stories have sold more than two million copies. She is a two-time Booksellers’ Best Award finalist and a National Readers’ Choice Award winner, and critics at Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, and Booklist have respectively called her work “smart,” “uplifting,” and “entertaining.” In addition to writing novels, she enjoys hitting the slopes in Vermont and Utah and dancing around the kitchen while cooking. Above all, she is a grateful wife and mother to a very patient, supportive family. Fans can get exclusive excerpts and inside scoops, and be eligible for birthday gift drawings by subscribing to her newsletter at http://eepurl.com/b7k7G5. She also loves interacting with everyone on Facebook at www.facebook.com/JamieBeckBooks.