by Rose, Alison
She wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t been with Johnson when he’d heard that one of Paul’s songs had just reached number one in the States. When she’d asked Paul about it, he’d shrugged it off.
‘I like to write, and other guys like to sing my stuff.’
‘Why don’t you do it yourself?’
‘Because my dad got all the singing genes in the family. I can’t hold a note. Trust me. You don’t want to hear me sing.’
‘What will you do after the tour?’ she asked suddenly.
He shrugged, finishing the last bite of his meal and placing his fork carefully on the plate.
‘Same as I did before, I guess. I’ve got a few projects waiting for some attention. But I’ll probably take a break first and wind down. Go hiking maybe, or find a quiet beach and work on my tan.’ He looked at her, his beautiful mouth slanted in a half smile. ‘Wanna come along?’
Kate felt her jaw go slack. ‘You’re joking aren’t you? We’d end up killing each other.’
He was silent, watching her with those clear blue eyes. Kate wanted to scream with frustration. Because she was tempted. Oh, how she was tempted! But hadn’t she just been reminding herself that this wasn’t a good idea? And who could say how quickly he’d change his mind and go cold on her again?
‘Scared, Katie?’
Since seeing her mother off, she’d been feeling vulnerable. Everything seemed to be changing. If her mother resigned her living, which Kate was now sure was the right thing to do, then she would be leaving this house – the only family home Kate could remember.
And if their parents got married, which after Johnson’s visit today was becoming a very real possibility, she and Paul would become step-brother and sister. It didn’t matter how tempted she might be, she needed to keep her feelings about Paul in perspective.
‘Maybe, but one of us has to be sensible. It’s a nice idea, but in reality?’ she responded, her green gaze steady.
Paul sighed. ‘Reality, huh? I guess it catches up with us all eventually.’
She laughed, rubbing a finger across her temple where the bruises had finally faded, remembering his gentle touch. ‘Yes, and sometimes when you least expect it, it runs up and smacks you in the face.’
‘Not funny,’ he said, reaching across the table and cupping the side of her face in his large, warm hand. ‘That nut could have killed you.’
Kate was arrested by his anguished expression. ‘Don’t be silly. Why would you think that? It was an accident.’
‘Seeing as how the person who hurt you didn’t hang around to explain, I don’t think we can take that for granted.’
‘But I wasn’t badly hurt, just stunned,’ she argued. ‘My dignity suffered more than anything. Why are you so upset about it?’
He sat back, cutting himself off from her both physically and emotionally. ‘Trust me, Kate, I know what I’m talking about. You should be upset. You should be scared spitless. Just being part of the JBB circus makes you a target.’
‘Now that’s just ridiculous! I’m there to do a job, and I’ll see it through to the end. Stop trying to put me off.’
She’d thought he cared when he’d turned up at her hotel room at midnight to make sure she was all right after the accident. But that had gone sour too. Why did it always end up like this? Why did he have to be such a prophet of doom? Didn’t he realise how much he was scaring her – not for herself, but for her mother’s sake?
‘That is not what I am trying to do!’ he yelled, his temper matching her own. ‘You don’t understand! I’m trying to protect you, dammit.’ His raised voice brought Kate up short.
‘So what is this all about?’ she asked, trying to stay calm. ‘You say I don’t understand. So make me understand, Paul. Tell me, please.’
He got up and turned towards the window. Kate could see his face in the reflection as he stared sightlessly out into the darkness. He looked so alone. She waited, wanting to go to him. Whatever demons were haunting him, she felt instinctively that until he talked about them they would continue to fester and threaten him. She remained seated, her teeth worrying her bottom lip, arms held firmly around her own waist in order to stop herself from reaching out to him.
‘I’ve grown up in the public eye. Not because I’m special, but because my dad is a rock star and my mom was a model. It was part of my life. It was normality to me.’
He hadn’t turned round, but she could see him now watching her in the reflection. His image was slightly distorted by the natural ripples in the old, handmade glass. To Kate, seeing him like this, it seemed as though he was standing inside a force field, isolated from her and everything else in the world.
‘You soon learn that people want to get close to you, to use you. They don’t care who you are in here,’ he laid a hand over his heart. ‘Or in here,’ and touched a finger to his temple. ‘They just want to be seen with the rock star’s kid, or to sell their lies and distortions to make a quick buck and have their fifteen minutes of fame.’
‘Including women, who want to say they’ve been to bed with you.’
‘Yeah.’ He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. ‘I guess that was a cheap shot the other day, huh?’
‘As cheap as they can get,’ she nodded, accepting his wry expression as an apology of sorts.
‘I had some bad moments growing up, but I’m smart. I learned to protect myself from the users. But sometimes you just don’t know what to expect, y’know?’
‘What do you mean?’
He was silent. Kate thought he had had enough, and was going to stop talking. But then he turned slowly and returned to the table and sat down. He took a sip of his wine and put the glass down again carefully before looking her straight in the eye.
‘When I was eighteen I was attacked by a woman who had been stalking my dad.’ He ignored her gasp. ‘She’d been prevented from getting anywhere near him, what with restraining orders, and the best security team money can buy keeping Dad safe. And she got mad about that. Man, did she get mad.’ He shook his head. ‘I’d just started college. I was enjoying my independence, hanging out with other kids, learning how to be Paul instead of Johnson or Lola’s kid. Then one day I was walking on stage to perform with my band at college and she was there with a knife. No warning, no reason.’
‘Oh, dear God!’ Kate groaned, leaning her elbows on the table and burying her face in her hands.
‘I was lucky. One of my friends saw the knife and yelled a warning. Someone else jumped her from behind and they got the knife away from her. It took four of us to hold her down until the cops came.’ She looked up as he shook his head. ‘She was totally crazy, y’know? She’d been making Dad’s life hell for months. He nearly quit the music business over it. He bought himself a ranch in Montana, miles from anywhere. But she even found him there. That’s when he got the restraining orders and increased his security team. She backed off. They figured they’d stopped her. But she just decided if she couldn’t have my dad, she would punish him by killing me.’
‘What happened to her?’
‘She should have gone to jail,’ he snarled. ‘But her own family had plenty of money and they got her a clever lawyer who convinced the judge she was sick. She escaped jail by agreeing to check into hospital and have treatment. Dad’s a soft touch – he agreed. Everyone else wanted to throw the book at her.’
Kate got up and went to him, running a tender hand down his ramrod-straight back, and then up again to rest on his shoulder. She could feel the tension radiating from him. She wasn’t surprised. Even having heard a little of the story before, she was stunned.
What did it cost you, Paul? What scars has she left on you?
‘So she got help,’ she said softly. ‘Did you?’
He looked up at her, a wry smile softening his handsome face. ‘Is psychoanalysis another of your varied talents, Miss Armstrong?’
She surveyed him with narrowed eyes. ‘No. But it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re still suffering, nor do I need to ha
ve letters after my name to recognise that you’ve avoided going on stage since. You keep yourself safe by keeping everyone else at a distance.’
‘God help me, I don’t want to put you at a distance, Kate.’ He stood up and pulled her close, capturing her face in his warm hands and kissing her hard.
Kate fought a brief but intense battle with herself – her head told her to stop this now, while her heart insisted that this is where she wanted, needed to be. She melted under his sensual onslaught, sighing with pleasure when he deepened the kiss, forgetting everything but the power of her feelings for this man. Her hands crept around his neck, fingers tangled in the soft hair there. She pressed her body closer, feeling his hardness against her soft belly. It wasn’t enough. After weeks of frustration, nothing but the feel of him inside her would be enough.
‘Don’t stop. Please don’t stop,’ she whispered against his lips.
‘I don’t think I can,’ he groaned. ‘I want you so much.’
‘Then love me, Paul. Show me. I need you.’
They didn’t even make it up the stairs. Kate pulled him into the lounge, where they undressed each other in the darkness before they fell onto the sofa. They learned the feel of each other, touching, tasting, kissing. His hands on her breasts made her sigh and reach for him. Her caresses drove him wild.
He pulled away from her touch. ‘If you carry on doing that, I won’t last. I want to be inside you, to come with you. But first …’ he kissed her. ‘I want to taste you,’ he said, sliding to the floor and opening her legs.
Kate lay back, her head spinning, her heart thumping. He nuzzled her inner thighs, stroking her calves, his warm breath teasing her. Then his mouth reached her most secret place and she cried out as his tongue found her. She held on to his silky hair as he loved her, driving her to the heavens. When his finger slipped inside her moist heat, she cried out, her whole body singing. He held her, lapping and stroking her to a climax.
She went over the edge. ‘Paul, oh, Paul, yes! Inside me, I need you inside me, please!’
He didn’t need any more encouragement. He surged up, and in to her, kissing her, letting her taste herself on his lips as she sobbed out her joy. Kate wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him deeper, until there was no space between them. They began to move together. She stroked down his back, his thighs, and up again, feeling the tension growing inside her again. He kissed her, nipping and sucking as his hands held her hips tight against him. They moved faster and faster, urging each other on. Kate heard him groan as the world spun out of control and they came together.
At last, they rested in each other’s arms, sliding to the floor, stroking, kissing, laughing.
‘Oh. My. God,’ she said. ‘What just happened? I thought we were having a row.’
He chuckled, nuzzling her breasts. ‘I think we just made up in the most spectacular way possible.’
‘Wow. Until I met you, I hated arguing. Now I can see the benefits.’
‘Hey, we don’t have to fight at all. We can just make love.’
‘Sounds good to me. Make love, not war. Great idea.’ She kissed him.
‘We might be a bit more comfortable in a bed, though.’
‘Later,’ she said. ‘I doubt I can walk, right now.’
‘Good call. I don’t really want to try moving either.’
She giggled, snuggling against him. They lay quietly, stroking and enjoying the afterglow. Eventually, he dozed, heedless of the hard floor beneath them. Kate listened to his soft breathing, not wanting to move, not wanting to fall asleep in case the magic went away …
The strident ringing of the telephone broke through Kate’s consciousness. She reluctantly pulled away from his embrace, shaken by how quickly he could make her forget everything but the pleasure of being in his arms.
Paul groaned. ‘Don’t answer it,’ he urged, reaching for her again.
‘I have to,’ she breathed, standing up. ‘Mum said she’d try to call to let me know she’s settled in.’ She pulled on her knickers and her blouse, leaving it unbuttoned as she went out into the hall and picked up the phone. ‘Hello?’
But it wasn’t her mother. Whoever it was remained silent.
‘Hello? This is the vicarage. Can I help you?’
More silence, then a soft click and the dial tone as the caller disconnected.
Kate looked up to see Paul standing in the doorway. His hair was mussed and he looked sooo tempting! She realised with a start that she was responsible for his sexy look, and suddenly shy, she turned to put the phone down.
‘Who was it?’ he asked.
‘Don’t know,’ she shrugged. ‘Whoever it was hung up.’
‘Does that happen often?’
‘Not often, but it’s not unheard of. Someone might have wanted a private word with Mum, and didn’t want to talk to me.’
‘I don’t like it,’ he frowned. ‘You’d better come back to the hotel with me.’
‘No, I can’t. Mum will be expecting me to be here when she calls.’
He looked at his watch. ‘It’s ten o’clock now. Surely she won’t call so late?’
‘Probably not, but I don’t want to worry her by not being here if she does call.’
‘I’m not happy about that call,’ he said, pulling her close. ‘You might not be safe here alone.’
Kate shook her head, her heart crying out for him. ‘Paul, don’t. I’ll be all right.’
‘Well, if you won’t come with me, I’d better stay here.’
‘Much as I’d love to invite you to stay, I don’t think it’s a good idea,’ she told him. ‘My mum has had enough trouble lately without my adding to it by having a man stay the night at the vicarage while she’s away. You have no idea what some of the old guard round here have put her through lately. I’m sorry, but I think you’d better go back to the hotel on your own.’
‘Kate, listen to me …’ He framed her face in his hands. ‘Don’t fight me on this, please. I want to be with you.’
‘And I want to be with you. Didn’t I just prove that to you?’
‘But you still want to kick me out of here, huh?’
She was so tempted to just give in and take him upstairs to her bed, but she couldn’t. It would make things so much more difficult for her mum. ‘Yes. I don’t want to, but I have to. Please don’t fight me on this, Paul.’
‘I’m not the one fighting, Armstrong. I thought we’d settled the argument by making love. Why are you so keen to get rid of me?’
‘I’m not …’
‘So, come with me to the hotel. Hell, if it’s too close to home, I’ll get a car and we’ll take off somewhere else. I don’t want to leave you here alone. That call could have been anyone.’
Shaking her head, Kate picked up the phone and pushed some buttons.
‘What are you doing?’
‘Finding the last number that called here. When it’s a local number, you’ll see it was nothing to worry about. Just a parishioner who wants to talk to Mum.’ She listened as the call connected.
‘Well?’ he asked.
‘The previous caller withheld their number,’ she quoted. ‘But that doesn’t mean anything. It’s still someone local, I’m sure. A lot of people withhold their numbers these days.’
‘Bullshit. I want you to come with me.’
Kate felt her heart sink. He was getting that look in his eye again. This had nothing to do with how he felt about her, and everything to do with his own paranoia. ‘Forgive me if I’m confused,’ she backed away, disappointment and helplessness making her angry. ‘But what exactly are you playing at?’
‘What are you talking about?’ he demanded.
‘I’m trying to work it out. Why do you want to be with me right now? Is it lust or are you just reacting to a stimulus and going into protective mode? I really don’t know.’
He shook his head, opening his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. ‘Why won’t you trust me when I tell you I’m all right here on my own? Are you tr
uly worried for me, or are you projecting your own fears from the past into the situation? Now that we’ve had sex do you think you’re responsible for me?’
‘Jeez! What is this?’
‘For God’s sake, Paul, nothing is going to happen to me here. You’ve been using some unknown, unlikely threat as an excuse to push me away, now you’re trying to take over my life and practically ordering me to do what you think is best. I’m so confused I don’t know whether I’m coming or going!’
He looked shocked. Running an agitated hand through his already dishevelled hair, he turned and walked back into the lounge. She followed slowly, wanting to cry. He gathered up his clothes, pulling them on, his body language screaming frustration.
‘Don’t you dare give me the silent treatment, Brand,’ she said, hands on hips. ‘Talk to me, damn you!’
He stopped, his shirt half buttoned, and looked at her.
‘Kate. I’m sorry. When you’re around I … I don’t know, I … dammit, you make me crazy! I want to be with you. I want to keep you safe. I want to drag you off to bed and lose myself in you again, but I … You’ve already been hurt, and someone has been messing in your mom’s life. I wish to hell I knew what to do, but that call … it freaked me out. What if I’m right? What if it’s someone who wants to mess with you and your mom?’
Kate sighed. She could understand why he was thinking like that, but the chances of it being true were so slim that she couldn’t give in to him. If she did, she could only imagine how paranoid he would become. He had to see that not every situation held danger. Real life wasn’t like that. She walked over to him, kissing him gently and slipping her arms around his waist.
‘Paul, we are in rural Wiltshire. This is a vicarage. People call here all the time and sometimes they choose not to speak when their call is connected. It doesn’t mean anything. I’m sorry you think otherwise; I understand why you do. But it’s not like that here. This is my world. Trust me. Things like that don’t happen here.’
His arms came around her, holding her close. He rested his chin on her head, as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
‘OK,’ he said eventually. ‘Maybe I’m over-reacting. But I can only go on my experience. In my world, there are crazy people, and it’s not safe to take anything at face value. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, Kate.’