by Rose, Alison
‘It won’t. But thank you for caring,’ she said.
They stood there, holding each other, for a long time. Kate didn’t know what to say.
‘I guess I’d better go.’
She nodded, giving him another squeeze before stepping back. ‘See you tomorrow?’
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I should leave the area.’
‘Oh?’ She frowned. He wouldn’t look at her. What was going on?
‘Maybe it would be smarter for us to wait until the tour is over. Now isn’t the time to try and work things out.’
‘Oh? Is that why you asked me to go away with you?’
‘I guess so.’
She felt her heart sink. Had she made the wrong decision, refusing to spend tonight with him? Surely he could see it wasn’t a good idea. Was he trying to punish her by making her wait for him? ‘OK. But has it occurred to you that when our parents get married, it might never be the right time?’
‘What do you mean?’ That got his attention. He looked at her, wary.
‘I don’t think it would be a good idea to have an affair if we’re related. Can you imagine the fall-out when it’s over?’
He was silent, watching her through narrowed eyes. Unable to remain still under his scrutiny she went into the kitchen and started to clear the table. Paul followed her.
‘So you’ve decided that there’s no chance of our making it work between us,’ he declared, his voice flat. ‘Maybe it’ll be the other way round. We could make it and our folks might decide to walk away.’
‘I doubt it. You’ve seen them together.’
‘Yeah. But do you think they’d deny themselves the chance to see if their feelings can last if they thought it would affect our romance?’
‘Is this a romance?’ she asked.
Paul smiled. ‘You’re something else, you know that? You can’t wait to call me a coward and a fool. But hell, you are the scarediest cat I know.’
‘Forgive me for being cautious. But given how you’ve blown hot and cold over the past few weeks, it’s hard to imagine how we could possibly make it work between us. I’m tempted to smack you more often than I want to kiss you!’
They stared at each other for a moment. She didn’t want to be first to look away. Finally, something changed in his eyes, making her panic.
‘Don’t you dare!’ she warned, shaking a finger at him as he moved towards her.
To her surprise, he stopped, inches from her, making no move to touch her. She fought the urge to step back, still stinging from his taunt. She wouldn’t allow herself to be scared of him!
The fact was, he’d got it right. She was scared by her own reaction to his nearness. That she desperately wanted to close the gap between them, and feel his strong arms around her again, wasn’t something she dared to think about right now.
Paul gave her a grim smile before reaching for his jacket. ‘Now there, lady, I have to agree with you. You are without a doubt the most stubborn, beautiful, ornery woman I have ever come across. I’d better get out of here before I give into the temptation to turn you over my knee and paddle your behind.’
He ran a gentle finger down her cheek. Kate shuddered as she felt his touch sparking through her body. ‘I do want you again, Kate. So much it’s already driving me crazy. But my life is not normal, not simple. And much as I want it to be different, it isn’t. I’ve lived with this shit all my life. Maybe it’s not fair to expect you to take it on. I hope you’re right and I am over-reacting. I guess I’ll have to trust that your instincts are better than mine here.’
‘But …’
‘No.’ He stepped back, raising a hand to stop her. ‘Don’t. Please. I’ve gotta go. We’ve both got some heavy thinking to do.’
Kate stood there, unmoving until she heard the slam of the door and the sound of his footsteps crunching along the gravel path. Then, with tears blurring her vision, she set about cleaning the kitchen before making her way slowly up the stairs to her bedroom.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Johnson and Jake were enjoying a brandy in the hotel lounge when Paul returned to the Manor House. He wasn’t in the mood to talk, but his father called him over.
‘Jake’s been baby-sitting, letting me bend his ear all night. He needs a break, and I’m not ready to turn in yet.’
Paul hesitated, needing to think. But he knew that Jake wouldn’t leave his dad on his own in a public area, and if he were honest with himself, he didn’t really want to be alone at the moment either. With a sigh, he pulled out and chair and sat down. Jake said goodnight and left father and son together.
‘OK, but I might not be the best company right now, old man.’
Johnson gave him a wry smile. ‘Kate?’
‘Not something I want to talk about.’
‘That bad, huh?’
‘Nothing a jug of Jack Daniels won’t cure.’
‘Forget it, son. I tried that. It won’t work.’
They had the lounge to themselves, but when Johnson looked up a waiter appeared and took their order for coffee. Paul could see his father studying him, and decided it was safer to start the conversation rather than wait for him to begin an interrogation.
‘So, Alex is out of touch for a week. Bummer.’
‘Yeah. I knew she was having some problems, but her going on retreat was a shock. I’d counted on spending some time with her. I guess I’ll have to be patient.’
‘Hey, what’s another week in almost forty years?’
‘One week too long,’ Johnson confirmed grimly, draining his brandy. ‘I swear if this weren’t my last tour, I’d …’ He broke off and smiled as the waiter returned with a tray. He signed the chit and waited until they were alone again before looking at his son. ‘You know I love her, don’t you?’
Paul nodded. ‘It is kinda easy to figure. Kate thinks you’re going to take her away and marry her.’
‘And how does Kate feel about that?’
Paul poured himself some coffee and added cream. ‘She’s concerned. So am I. Do you want some coffee?’
‘Yeah.’ Johnson frowned. ‘Don’t you like her?’
‘I like her just fine. She’s a nice lady. I’m pretty sure she’s perfect for you.’
‘So why the concern?’
‘Because Kate’s worried.’
Johnson took the drink his son proffered and sat back. ‘Kate’s a good woman. Reminds me of her mama.’
‘Well she’s not her mama, and I’m not you, Dad.’
‘No, you’re not. But you two are good together, regardless of who your parents are. For the record, I know her mama and I would both be mighty pleased if you two …’
‘Don’t go planning a double wedding, Dad. It ain’t gonna happen.’
‘Is that your decision, or hers?’
‘Hers,’ he answered automatically before shaking his head and checking himself. ‘No. It’s mutual. We both agree it’s a bad idea.’
‘I can’t say I can see the problem. But if that’s how you both feel, son, why are you so miserable about it?’
Paul was silent for a moment, trying to find the words to explain it, but failing. He shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. ‘Damn!’ he grimaced. ‘These Brits have no idea how to make decent coffee.’
Johnson smiled in sympathy and said nothing.
‘So are you going to marry Kate’s mom?’
‘If she’ll have me.’
‘And you’ll take her back to the States?’
He shrugged. ‘Maybe. Or maybe we’ll settle here. Once the tour is over and I’m officially retired from the circus, it won’t matter where I live.’
‘They have crazies in England too, Dad. Are you sure you can keep her safe?’
Johnson looked at him sharply. ‘Is that why you’re fighting against hooking up with Kate?’
He started to deny it, but couldn’t. ‘Yeah. You should understand that. How can I ask her to take the risk that some nut might … hell, she�
��s already been slugged and left for dead! And what about everything her mom’s been through lately? Is it fair to put her in danger, Dad?’
‘I’m hoping that she’d rather spend what time the good Lord gives us on this earth with me, than without me, whatever the risk. Nothing’s totally safe, son. People get hurt and killed every day.’
‘But what if …’
‘I’m not prepared to lose her again just because of a “what if”,’ Johnson declared. ‘And I don’t think you should let something that might never happen come between you and Kate, if you love her. And you do love her, don’t you?’
Paul couldn’t look at his father. ‘I don’t know.’
‘You sure? And if you were thinking straight you’d realise that trying to be noble and protect her from the circus is pointless if I’m gonna marry her mama. She’ll be right there in the middle of it, anyway.’
‘I didn’t think of that. I guess you’re right. Hell!’
‘If you’d stop being so damn stubborn and admit you love the girl, it could be heaven,’ Johnson smiled.
‘I do love her.’ Goddamn it, I do! ‘I never thought it’d happen to me, but it has. I can’t stop thinking about her, wanting to be with her. She’s … special. When I’m with her, it’s amazing. Everything seems different.’
‘Then go get her.’
Paul sighed. ‘It’s not that simple.’
‘Sure it is.’
‘Go tell that to Kate,’ he laughed, although he saw no humour in the situation. ‘She’s got it in her head that we’re gonna be brother and sister so we can’t be a couple.’
‘No law against step-brothers and sisters getting together.’
‘No. But she’s not convinced we can make it work, and she won’t risk upsetting you and Alex when we split.’
‘Why does she think you’ll split?’
‘Aw, come on Dad! I’ve been a jerk. I know it. She knows it. Why would she want to hook up with me?’
‘Because she loves you.’
‘You don’t know that.’
‘Yeah, I do. She’s as easy to read as her mama. Kate loves you, son. I know it.’
Paul wanted to believe his Dad, but …
‘Go back and talk to her. Don’t be a fool.’
‘Maybe in the morning. Right now, I’m beat.’
Johnson knew better than to push. They said goodnight and headed for their respective rooms.
Paul paced. He needed time to think. Only minutes ago he’d admitted he loved Kate for the first time, even to himself. His first reaction was fear. He couldn’t keep her safe. Yet, if his dad married her mom, everything he wanted to protect her from would be there, threatening her. How would he deal with that? He wouldn’t be able to sit back and leave it to his dad to protect her. That said, why the hell was he thinking of cutting himself off from her and denying himself the chance to love her?
‘Damn!’
His mind was running in circles. What was best? For Kate, and for him? He knew he couldn’t answer that for himself. He needed to talk to Kate. To find out if what his dad said was true. If she really did love him, then maybe he should take the risk and tell her how he felt.
Knowing he wouldn’t rest until he saw her again, he left his room and went quietly out into the night. He barely noticed the full moon and countless stars lighting his path. It took just a few minutes to reach the village.
In the distance he could see an orange glow. He took a deep breath, frowning slightly as he smelt smoke. He began running, his heart pounding as he prayed the fire wasn’t where he thought it was.
It was.
The front of the vicarage was ablaze.
Chapter Twenty-eight
‘Kate! Oh, God, no! ‘Kate!’
A woman ran out of the house next door, pulling a thick dressing gown around her.
‘I’ve rung the fire brigade. Thank goodness the vicar’s not there.’
‘Kate’s in there!’ he yelled, taking off for the path round the side of the house.
The noise of the flames grew as the fire took hold. Paul’s heart was in his throat as he saw that the back was alight too. The smell of fuel barely registered as he dodged sparks and smoke, heading for the back door.
‘Kate! For God’s sake, where are you?’
‘Up here!’
To his right was a single-storey extension, and above it a window was open and Kate was there, her face pale, something white clutched in her arms.
‘Hang on, I’m coming up!’ he called, reaching for the gutter.
‘No! It’s not safe! Stay there! Here, take this …’ She swung the bundle over the window ledge and dropped it towards him. ‘I’ve just got to get…’
His arms closed around it. ‘What the…’ A pillow case full of books? He flung it onto the grass behind him. ‘Kate?’ She wasn’t there. ‘Dammit, Kate! Get out of there!’
He leapt and grabbed the gutter, but it broke off in his hand and he fell back, cursing. He jumped up, only to be knocked back again as something in the kitchen exploded and the window blew out, sending heat and debris out into the garden.
‘Kate!’ he cried. ‘Kate!’
‘Where is she, mate?’
He looked round. A man. A neighbour?
‘Up there,’ he pointed. ‘She was there, but she’s gone. Kate!’
‘Hang on, I’ve got a ladder. Be back in a minute.’ He disappeared into the darkness.
Paul didn’t want to wait. He didn’t have a minute. He moved round the other side of the extension and used a window ledge as a foothold, swinging himself up onto the roof. Slates slipped, nearly taking him with them, but he hung on, his eyes on the window that Kate had disappeared from.
‘Kate!’ He had just reached the wall when she appeared, pushing a box over the ledge.
‘Oh, Paul! Help me!’
He reached for her.
‘No, I’m OK. Take the box.’
‘Fuck the box! Get your butt out of there! Do you wanna die?’ Fear and frustration fuelled his anger.
‘Not without the box!’ she yelled back. ‘Take the bloody box!’
The roar of the fire, the shouts of neighbours and the growing wail of the approaching fire engine went unnoticed as they shouted at each other.
‘Here, Katie, love, give it to me. Then let him get you out, for God’s sake!’
Paul watched with disbelief as she smiled as her neighbour reached them and held out his arms for the box. Then she was swinging her legs over the sill. With a cry he pulled her to him, taking a moment to hold her tight and reassure himself that she was alive. She clung to him, trembling like a leaf.
‘Let’s get you out of here, and then I am
never, ever letting you go. You got that?’
Chapter Twenty-nine
Alex received a call from the bishop just as she was about to go to morning prayer. He didn’t bother with the usual pleasantries, but asked her to explain the photograph of the ‘torrid embrace’ she had indulged in on her own doorstep, in full view of anyone who happened to be passing, which now graced several tabloid newspapers.
She was stunned. Someone had been spying on them! Through the embarrassment, she felt anger welling up.
‘I’m sorry, Bishop, but I don’t have an explanation.’
‘I beg to differ, Alexandra,’ he said. ‘I assume this is the same man connected with the previous … unfortunate incident?’
‘That’s nobody’s business but mine and the gentleman concerned.’
‘When the incident happens on the threshold of church property, and involves a minister of the church, then it becomes my business.’
‘I’ve done nothing wrong,’ she insisted. ‘I’ve committed no sin and I’ve broken no laws.’
‘I’m sure that’s true, my dear, but you must appreciate that your actions do not set a good example. The fact that the person you are involved with happens to work in a morally dubious industry doesn’t help.’
‘That’s ridiculous!’ She
exploded. She couldn’t believe she was hearing this. ‘He is one of the most upright, honourable men I know, and to tar the whole music industry with the brush of questionable morals is just plain daft! Do you ever listen to rock music, Bishop? Some of the most moral teaching I’ve ever encountered can be found in contemporary songs.’
‘Oh, do calm down, my dear. I’m not your enemy here, regardless of how it might seem at the moment.’
Alex remained silent, not trusting herself to speak. The bishop sighed. ‘I’ve known you for a long time, Alexandra, and you’re a fine priest. But the Devil is abroad, my dear, and is making mischief for you. If you insist upon continuing your relationship with this man, then I’m afraid that things will continue to be difficult. One or two of your parishioners – not the most sympathetic souls I’ll admit – are suggesting that you be removed from the parish.’
‘But that’s not fair!’
‘No, it isn’t. But this latest incident has given them more ammunition, particularly as your friend was seen to enter your house and didn’t leave for some time.’
Alex was glad that the bishop couldn’t see her face, flushed with anger as the implication sank in. ‘We did nothing wrong.’
‘I’m sure you didn’t. But you showed poor judgement. Now I suggest that you take these few days to pray and consider your future. Because I’m not sure how long this can go on before I have no choice but to take action.’
‘And with diocesan finances being what they are, you’re looking to cut clergy posts rather than reshuffle them,’ she concluded miserably.
The bishop didn’t correct her. ‘I will pray for you, my dear, and we will talk again at the end of your retreat.’
With a heavy heart she put the phone down. Why was it so difficult for people to accept her and Johnson as a couple? He was a good man and she loved him. The thought of having to choose between him and the Church appalled her. She headed for the chapel, hoping that morning prayer would be over and she would have the place to herself. She needed to have a good long chat with the Almighty. But before she got there, she was called to the office to take another phone call.