Retribution

by Evelyn Drake

  Steve heard the distinct absence of running water and knew that Michael was no longer in the shower. That meant he’d have to face the man. He’d have to talk to him .

  “It ain’t happening. Not with me,” Steve mumbled to himself, his ego still resisting what the rest of him wanted. Yet as he neared the door, his heartbeat quickened and he felt even more nervous than he had been before his first boyhood kiss on the playground with Tabitha Reynolds. It was a kiss that had gotten him slapped, right before she grabbed and kissed him all over again. It was the same tug-o-war that he was feeling within himself now .

  Rounding the corner into the bedroom, Steve stopped in his tracks. Michael was there, near-naked and beautiful enough to stand before a master painter. He was bent over the bedside table, searching through its drawers. Wrapped around his waist was a towel that opened in an inverted V up his long, runner’s thigh .

  It wasn’t as if Steve hadn’t seen Michael naked a hundred times before as he’d watched him from afar. But those times had always been through the lens of a long-range rifle as he’d awaited his kill orders. He’d never been this close to a target, never gotten personal, and the perfection of Michael’s body had never been so obvious. He was helpless to do anything but stop and stare .

  Steve had always found Michael to be grace in motion when he’d watch the man jumping across rooftops. But now, even his stillness had a grace, like that of a deer standing in a field, listening and watching. It was a sight that made Steve forget to breathe, and his nerves tied themselves in knots .

  God help me, I want this. I want him. Who the hell am I ?

  Seeming to find what he was looking for, Steve saw Michael palm a small tube of something as he turned and stood to face Steve .

  Steve felt his face heat. The towel Michael wore low on his hips accentuated every inch of his body’s physique rather than masking it, and the sight of Michael brought an unexpected low, rumbled growl from deep inside Steve’s throat. In that moment, he owned the truth about himself that much more .

  Michael’s eyes flared wide, and Steve remembered his own full nakedness and his flagrant want of Michael. Steve slid the first-aid kit in front of his groin. The cool metal of the kit felt good against the underside of his saluting cock, but that only intensified his desire for Michael’s touch .

  “Lay down, face down,” Steve said, taking a commanding approach as if that would keep him in control of the situation, but his voice was so gruff that he had to clear his throat to make his words. Rather than embarrass himself further, he motioned to the bed with one hand instead of trying to repeat himself .

  A slow smile stretched Michael’s lips and he made a show of crawling on top of the bed, his thighs wide so that his cock and balls could be seen hanging between them. When he did lay down on his belly, he wiggled his ass invitingly and, Steve thought, mockingly .

  So he will let me top! Relief flooded Steve’s senses but soon turned to vengeful elation. I’m gonna fuck that grin right off of him, he thought, his face heating with embarrassment .

  He’s a bottom. Or very. He was messing with me. Yet, even as the thought echoed in the recesses of his mind, he played back his memories of Michael—images he had of Michael with his former lover... on top of or behind his former lover .

  Steve swallowed a lump in his throat as his forehead prickled with beads of sweat. Oh shit .

  Michael twisted to look over his shoulder at him. “You got plans for that thing?” Michael asked, letting his eyes drop to where Steve still held the medical kit over his groin .

  “That plus other things,” Steve answered, his deep voice a warning as well as an enticement. “Eyes forward .”

  Steve was pleased, and more than a little surprised, when Michael did as he was told. He watched as Michael rested his chin atop his crossed hands .

  Steve put the drinks and crackers on the bedside table before straddling Michael’s calves. Hooking his fingers in the waist of the towel, he said, “Lift.” When Michael complied, Steve yanked the towel away to leave Michael bare beneath him. His cock throbbed as he took in the sight of Michael, and his heart beat heavy in his chest with a want he didn’t know what to do with .

  Steve studied the cut he’d made where Michael’s cheek met the top of his thigh. Pulling at the skin near the cut, Michael’s breath hissed .

  The cut was deeper than Steve would have liked, but it had been unavoidable. He didn’t know who had put the tracker inside Michael—whether it had been Operations or Michael’s own people—but the two of them would still have been running if he hadn’t have cut the tracker out .

  Steve opened a bottle of sterile saline and flushed out Michael’s wound. Michael jumped, his entire body tensing, but he didn’t complain .

  “This will probably turn infected within a couple of days if we don’t get you started on a course of antibiotics. The wound’s too deep and has been exposed to too much, but for now it’s good .”

  “You make a habit of stabbing all the boys you like?” Michael asked, his tone teasingly sardonic .

  It was Steve’s turn for every muscle in his body to go rigid with stress. “I’ve never… it’s only been women before .”

  What the fuck’s wrong with me! I like him. I want him! Why can’t I say it ?

  “Bisexuality exists,” Michael said, his voice sardonic, dry. “Whether you like women or not, your body’s pretty clear that there’s more to you,” Michael said, twisting around to look at Steve out of the corner of his eye. His smile returned. “Plus, you keep kissing me .”

  Steve avoided meeting Michael’s gaze and kept his eyes fixed to his work of bandaging the incision in Michael’s ass .

  What Michael was saying was true. Steve knew it. He just didn’t know what to do with knowing it. He’d never thought he’d be here with Michael. He always thought that he would be some nameless, faceless minion of death who would pull the trigger to end Michael’s life from 400 yards away .

  He never thought that he’d ever talk to the man... or touch him and be touched by him .

  The truth was, the future he’d thought he knew for himself had ended the moment he let Michael live. Now, his life had no definition, no purpose, and no direction except that of saving Michael—if Michael would let him .

  “You’re all patched up,” Steve said, still refusing to meet Michael’s gaze .

  Michael’s hand slid back to touch Steve’s where it rested at Michael’s hip. Finally, Steve met Michael’s eyes with his own .

  “What’s happening here? I need to know. My family’s going to die. I’m wanted for dead and will probably die. Basically, I don’t have much time. I need to know what’s going on with you and me, because for me, right now, every second is precious .”

  Steve didn’t have an answer. Not an honest one. Not one he was ready to say. He wished he did have something to say that would fix all of the Michael’s problems, but he didn’t .

  Sigmund was a nasty piece of work, and if he’d been ordered to kill Michael’s family, the only way to save his family was to kill Sigmund. Problem was, Sigmund was more of a shadow than a man, and a person getting a kill shot on him would need as much luck as skill .

  As to the “you and me“ part of Michael’s speech, Steve didn’t know what to say about that either. The only thing he knew was that he was adrift. For years, he’d lived by the orders he’d been given. They’d given him direction and purpose. Now, no one was giving him orders, and he had no other voice to cling to other than his own .

  That wasn’t enough. Not for him .

  “Answer me,” Michael pressed .

  Steve climbed off Michael’s legs and sat down crosslegged next to him, pulling a pillow over his lap to maintain whatever modesty and dignity that was left to him .

  “I don’t know what’s happening here.” Steve cleared his voice before continuing. “I was supposed to kill you. I had orders. As soon as you got the item—the diamond—and it made its way to Operations through the Family, I was
supposed to kill you to sever the connection between the Family and Operations .”

  Silence dragged between them .

  “But you didn’t,” Michael finally said, sitting up and mimicking Steve’s position by sitting crosslegged, only Michael didn’t bother to cover himself .

  “No,” Steve said, dropping his eyes away from Michael. He’d never felt shame in the face of any kill he’d ever taken, but he felt shame now in the face of the one he hadn’t .

  He couldn’t help that he had a talent for ending life, and nothing else. He couldn’t control the orders he got. Why he felt shame about it, he didn’t know. But with Michael looking at him, he wondered how he’d ever thought he could pull the trigger to end the life front of him .

  Michael shifted his position so that he sat thigh against thigh, knee to hip, with Steve. Steve’s whole body warmed from the touch and his heart quickened .

  “What changed?” Michael asked .

  “I did,” Steve said, lifting his eyes once more to meet Michael’s. “You changed me. You made me feel... restored. You made me feel as if I’d never become the monster I am now.” He’s got dark circles under his eyes. He’s exhausted. The thought had Steve fighting the urge to reach for Michael’s face, to caress his cheek, to comfort him and take care of him .

  Michael leaned in, stretching one arm across Steve’s center to rest it on the bed at his hip. His mouth hovered close to Steve’s, and Steve couldn’t stop himself from licking his lips in hope and anticipation of Michael’s kiss .

  Steve’s wishes were answered when Michael leaned in and led Steve in a kiss that was both soft and patient yet made his toes curl .

  But in the silence of the room, the doubts crept in. Steve wasn’t able to hide it from his face and he saw Michael’s expression change to one of pensive concern when their kiss broke and Michael pulled away .

  “What’s wrong?” Michael asked .

  Steve looked unseeing at the pillow in his lap, feeling his readiness beneath it. Finally, he looked up. “I’ve never wanted this before. I’ve never wanted a man. I... I feel lost. In so many ways, I feel lost .”

  “Does it feel good when I touch you?” Michael asked, brushing Steve’s scratchy cheek with his own .

  Steve nodded his head yes when Michael pulled away, not trusting his voice to answer .

  “Let me lead,” Michael said, leaning in for another kiss. “I won’t leave you lost.” The kiss that followed was deeper and more intimate, and Steve found himself kissing Michael back .

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” Steve said when their lips had parted once more. “I... I don’t have experience... with that .”

  “Hurt me how?” Michael asked as he kissed a trail down Steve’s neck, bringing a small gasp of pleasure to the bigger man’s lips .

  “Don’t make me say it .”

  Michael chuckled. “If you can’t say it, how will you do it ?”

  Steve felt heady. His breathing was shallow, and his desire to fully lose himself in Michael’s embrace was overwhelming. “I don’t know how to fuck you without hurting you .”

  Michael pulled back suddenly but he didn’t go far. Steve could still feel his skin’s heat .

  “Babe, I don’t bottom. And besides that,” Michael said, dragging a finger down the valley between Steve’s hardened pecs, “I’m not the bottom here.” The look he gave Steve emphasized his words .

  Steve shoved Michael away, hard. He moved across the bed to put distance between them .

  “You think you know me?” Throughout his tirade, he held the pillow tight over his hard and throbbing erection. Beneath him, his hole throbbed and a voice within him called out for him to put himself in Michael’s care .

  “Somebody’s getting fucked tonight, but it’s not me.” Michael said as he moved across the bed to be close to Steve once more .

  Steve’s fist clenched and his face heated. “What is this, just some big joke to you?” His lack of control over his jumbled feelings made him want to hurt Michael .

  “I’ll joke about a lot of things, but never about a man giving me his virginity.” Michael looked taken aback, shocked by Steve’s words of accusation .

  Steve guffawed with derisive laughter but the laughter was cut short when Michael moved in to claim his lips once more .

  Michael led the kiss, and before he knew it, Steve found himself leaning into it, despite his contrived complaints .

  Maybe he’s right. I want this... I want him .

  The kiss was full of softness and musk, and instead of feeling more anxious, Steve felt a calm grow within him as he let Michael take the lead .

  With Michael’s sure touch, he felt safe. He felt like he had direction again instead of being expected to chart a path through the darkness on his own. With Michael, he didn’t have to make decisions. He could just let it happen and everything would be okay. It would be better than okay. It would be everything .

  Their kiss ended and Steve found himself panting, his balled fist shaking where it gripped the pillow in his lap .

  “The last person I slept with, I almost killed in my sleep,” Steve blurted .

  Michael jerked away, his eyes studying Steve as if looking for a hint at the truth—and hoping he wouldn’t find one .

  Steve couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t every day that a person’s wannabe lover confessed to the possibility of killing them in their sleep. But it was the truth, and Steve had to say it. What he’d done to Charlize had burned away most of the few remaining remnants of his soul. He didn’t have it in him to risk another lover without giving a warning first .

  “I haven’t been with anyone since.” It had been over a year .

  “Good to know,” Michael said, his voice gentle. But his eyes told the story within, the uncertainty and doubt he held at moving forward .

  “We can forget this,” Steve said, shrugging his massive shoulders as he dropped his gaze back to the bed. The rejection he’d seen in Michael’s eyes was too much. In a way, he’d idolized Michael from afar as a beacon of something better in life than himself. To see his idol’s opinion of him dim produced an ache in the spot where his heart should have been, and it made it hard to breathe .

  “We’ll forget nothing,” Michael said, moving in slowly for another kiss, this time being careful and deliberate as he guided Steve’s lips to open to him, to take his tongue inside. His hand cupped the back of Steve’s head, and he took complete control .

  A moment later, Steve was on his back with Michael hovering over him, his hands beside Steve’s massive shoulders and his knees to one side of Steve’s hip .

  “You’re not going to need this,” Michael said with a small smile, giving a tug to the pillow Steve still held to his groin. It took a second, more insistent, tug but Michael got it away .

  Steve had never felt more naked in his life .

  His gaze lowered and he allowed himself to take in the sight of Michael’s want for him for the first time. It had been there throughout their entire conversation, but Steve now allowed himself to see it, to appreciate it .

  “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, lifting a hand to trail a finger over the smooth curve of Michael’s swollen head .

  “Do you want to taste it?” Michael asked after the slightest hesitation, his voice soft .

  Steve nodded his head yes as the tip of his tongue wet his lips .

  Getting up on his knees, Michael guided Steve’s head as Steve positioned himself with his mouth an inch below Michael’s saluting cock. Michael’s breath caught in his throat when Steve’s lips connected with his balls, his tongue flicking out to taste him .

  Reluctantly pulling away, Steve licked his lips again before sitting back on his heels. His own excitement now stood out, uncovered, for Michael to see .

  “Do we have anything?” Nerves exploded in Steve’s belly as he realized that he was the one asking for protection as he looked at the man who would soon be inside of him. The parallel between himself and the women he’d be
en with throughout the years left his heart pounding in his chest like a jack hammer .

  But this is different. Two guys .

  He closed his eyes and focused in an effort to chase away his naysayer voice within. It wasn’t until he felt Michael’s soft lips on his that he broke out of his mind’s lost-boy trap .

  “I hid some condoms under the other pillow before you came in.” His lips stretched into a smile, still on Steve’s, and Steve couldn’t help but smile with him .

  “Confident,” Steve said, grinning foolishly .

  “Hopeful,” Michael answered, his own smile now stretching ear to ear. He stretched his lithe form across the bed. Slipping a hand beneath the bed’s other pillow, he retrieved a cascading collection of three condoms .

  Steve laughed. “Like I said, confident!” He adjusted his hips, feeling suddenly uncertain about what three times would do to him. He glanced down once more at Michael’s readiness and he swallowed. While not the longest Steve had ever seen, Michael had an impressively thick girth .

  “Hey, eyes up here,” Michael chided, moving back into a knee to hip position with Steve. He laid the condoms on Steve’s thigh before leaning back on his hands. The position caused the tip of his cock to point directly at the ceiling .

  Steve fingered the condom wrappers, looking uncertain .

  “Put it on me,” Michael said, shimmying his hips to wag his cock. His grin had turned lopsided, and Steve could feel his face heating in embarrassment .

  “You’re loving this,” he complained .

  “I am,” Michael said, laughter in his voice. He gave his cock another wag .

  Pulling one of the condoms free of the string of three, Steve lifted the foil to his mouth and tore it with his teeth. When he reached for Michael’s tip to roll the condom on, Michael gave it another wag .

  Steve pulled back and gave Michael a warning look, but when he reached to put the condom on again, Michael again wagged his tip .

  Steve was on him in a flash. With a firm hand to Michael’s chest, he pushed him to the bed before straddling his torso. Michael fought by lifting his hips but Steve’s firm hand clamped around his balls stilled him instantly .