by Tina Leonard
Quinn halted abruptly and turned around, his eyes as big as dollar coins. “Did I just hear you right?”
Carrie punched Duke’s arm. “Nice going.”
“You’re pregnant?”
She shrugged, but what struck Duke as comical was Quinn’s expression. It was thunderous, while inside not an hour ago he was insisting Duke should trust her to do her job.
Quinn turned back around, muttering something. Duke looked to Carrie for clarification, but she grinned up at him and called out, “Quinn, can you repeat that a little louder for Duke? He’s deaf in one ear.”
Quinn reached his quad and spun around. “I said, never a dull moment.” He looked from Duke to Carrie and threw up his hands. “You two deserve each other.”
Duke was inclined to agree.
“Can you drive the quad, do you think? Or are you hurting too much?”
“I’ll muddle through. What about Sage?”
“I’ll ride her back.” He put Carrie gently on the seat of the quad. He looked up at Quinn. “We’ll all go together.” Then he reached inside his jacket pocket. “Here, put these on. Your gloves are soaked and I don’t want you freezing your hands. I wish I had more clothes for you....”
“I’ll be fine.”
He put his foot in the short stirrup and got up into the saddle, not bothering to take the time to adjust them to a proper length. “Let’s go home,” he said, and the air was filled with the sound of the engines. Carrie winced as she started out, but once they were rolling she smiled up at him.
She was okay. That was the most important thing. And once she was home and warm and dry, they were going to have a little talk. And she’d listen—to things he should have said a long time ago.
Chapter Sixteen
Carrie ached all over. There was pain in her hip that radiated down her leg every time the quad hit a rut, and her shoulder wasn’t feeling so great, either. She was terribly cold, her wet clothes clinging to her as the raw wind penetrated through the material.
And then she looked up at Duke, riding Sage beside her, and a little ball of warmth flickered deep inside. Hearing his voice calling her, hearing it crackle over the radio, was the best sound ever. Seeing him walking over the hard, white earth, coming to her rescue had lit something in her heart that she’d never felt before. It wasn’t just seeing him, though that was wonderful. It was a deep-down knowing that he’d come for her. When the chips were down, he’d come for her.
She wasn’t used to being a damsel in distress. And she rather hoped it would be a long time before she found herself in such a position again. But it was incredible to realize that she could rely on Duke.
The man who’d ridden out in a storm to find her? That was the real Duke. And that was why she’d fallen in love with him in the first place. He would do the right thing when the chips were down. And if he didn’t know how, he’d learn. Just like he’d been learning at the ranch. For the first time in a very long time, she had faith in someone other than herself.
When the long, rectangular shape of the barn came into view, Carrie nearly wept with joy. They parked the quads in the shed while Duke took Sage to the barn. Quinn helped Carrie off the bike, held her steady.
“You gave us a scare,” he said, pulling her close. “I’m with Duke on this one. Don’t do it again.”
She nodded against the cold front of his jacket.
“You were supposed to go get Amber.” Carrie stared up at him. “You didn’t because you came looking for me. You shouldn’t be driving in this now, Quinn! Oh, God, I’m sorry.”
“Amber’s hopefully snug as a bug in the house. I called Kailey to get her and bring her back here. Kailey’s probably back home already.” He grinned. “That fool would have set out alone to get you, you know. I couldn’t let him do that.”
Duke would have gone out to find her anyway. She was at once thrilled and embarrassed. She should have listened to Quinn. Saved chasing that damned coyote for another day. Her stubbornness had put them all in danger.
“So you two are having a kid. Fast work.”
She blushed even as she shivered. “Yeah. Accidental, in case you didn’t guess that already.”
The grin slid from Quinn’s face. “Do me a favor, Carrie. Don’t waste time being stupid about things that don’t really matter. If you have a chance at happiness, grab at it with both hands. Because you don’t know how long it’ll last.”
Carrie’s eyes welled up. “Duly noted, boss.”
“I’m going to go check on Amber. I see Duke coming across the yard. Good luck. By the look on his face, you’re gonna need it.”
Duke stomped snow off his boots as he entered the shed. Carrie expected to be verbally blasted now that they were alone, but Duke merely looked at her expectantly. “Sage is warm and fed, and I’ll check her again later. She doesn’t appear to be lame, just spooked. Now it’s time to get you cleaned up and into some dry things.”
“I thought you’d want to talk.”
His gaze locked with hers. “Oh, I do,” he promised. “But not now. You’re cold and wet and need to get warmed up.” He gave her a warning look. “You’re not going to fight me on this, are you?”
She smiled a little. “Not today. I’m freezing. And I ache all over.”
“Come on, then.”
They locked up and were halfway to the house when she stepped in a dip and cried out. Duke was right beside her, and before she could protest he’d scooped her into his arms again.
“I feel stupid,” she said as he took long strides toward the front steps. “You don’t need to carry me. People will talk.”
“Like I care,” he retorted, stomping up the wooden steps. To her surprise, the door opened and Lacey stood to the side, letting them in.
Duke, thankfully, put her down. Gently.
“Thanks, Lacey,” Duke said, pulling off his hat and gloves. He turned his attention to Carrie. The cold had really set in now and she shook all over, so badly that she was having trouble working the zipper on her jacket. Duke did it for her, carefully pushing the coat off her shoulders. He took off her hat and she knew her hair had to be sticking up all over, and then he helped her sit on the steps and pulled off her boots.
“Mom’s up running a bath for her,” Lacey said quietly.
Carrie looked at Lacey, startled by this bit of news. “Your mom? She’s here?”
Duke put down the second boot. “She and David arrived just before I went out after you.”
His family Christmas was really happening, then. Carrie wasn’t quite sure where she fit in everything. Quinn knew about the baby now, but no one else. She wasn’t sure where she and Duke stood, and yet she wanted desperately to be a part of things, too.
“I don’t have any clothes to wear,” she said dumbly, the inane comment the only thing she could think off amid the turmoil that was churning inside her. If Duke and Quinn hadn’t come when they had...
“The bath’s ready” came a soft voice.
“Up we go,” Duke said, and picked her up into his arms to make the climb to the upstairs.
Lacey followed. “I brought a pair of yoga pants, Carrie. We’re not too far from the same size. I’ll get them.”
“And I’ll get you one of my sweatshirts,” Duke promised. He stopped at the top of the stairs. “Mom, this is Carrie. Carrie, my mom, Helen.”
Carrie didn’t know what to say. This afternoon was getting stranger by the second. But Helen just smiled at her. “I’m sure we’ll have lots of chance to talk once you’re warmed up, dear. I’ll go make you some coffee or tea. Or perhaps Duke has some brandy on hand? That always takes the chill off.”
The two choices seemed to be caffeine and alcohol, but Duke stepped in smoothly. “Amber’s favorite is hot chocolate. How about that instead?”
“That sounds p
erfect,” Carrie replied, sending him a look of thanks.
“Do you need help with anything?” Helen inquired innocently, but Duke stepped in once again.
“I’ve got it, Mom.”
And with those four words, Helen was sent the clear message: Yeah, it’s like that.
“I’ll just be downstairs, then.” With a parting smile, Helen left, followed by Lacey, who dropped off the yoga pants on her way by.
Duke finally put her down and she limped her way into the bathroom. Steam rose up from the bath and flowery scented salts had been added—Helen’s? Carrie couldn’t imagine Joe having such things around. With tender fingers, Duke unbuttoned her shirt and helped her step out of her jeans. Her shoulder protested when she went to take off the shirt and Duke’s fingers were there to help, pushing it off her shoulders and down her arms. She was in her underwear now and slightly embarrassed. Not to mention aware. It wasn’t the right time or place, but that didn’t stop the awareness of knowing that she was alone with Duke. The man she’d fallen in love with, slept with... The man whose baby she carried.
She tried to reach around and unclasp her bra and pain shot down her arm.
“I’ve got it,” Duke murmured, and he undid the hooks at her back.
More self-conscious than ever, she forced down her panties and went straight to the tub. Duke held out his hand and she took it for balance as she stepped over the side and into the blissful heat of the water.
She sat down and let it soak into all the parts of her that ached. Duke perched on the edge of the tub. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her naked, but the context was different. It belied a level of comfort that was more than sexual; a different sort of trust. The kind that gave her a little bit of hope.
“I don’t think I thought this through.” She smiled up at him. “I’m wounded and naked. I can’t run away from you here.”
He chuckled. “I thought of that. But when we talk I don’t want you at a disadvantage. I want us to be equal. No one in a position of power.”
Her heart constricted at the honesty in his eyes. “That sounds like a good place to start,” she answered.
“Carrie...you’re sure everything’s okay with the baby?” Worry shadowed his eyes. “You took quite a fall.”
She nodded. “I rolled and landed on my side. I don’t have any cramping or anything. I’m just sore in a few spots. But after the storm, I’ll follow up with the doctor if you want.”
“Never a bad thing to have peace of mind,” he agreed. “I’ll let you relax now, and meet you downstairs, okay?”
She nodded, but as he reached the door she spoke. “Duke?”
“Yeah?” He turned around.
“I’m sorry I scared you. Sorry I didn’t listen. The coyote issue has been nagging at me all fall. I think I felt like if I could solve this, maybe the rest of my life would start coming together. It sounds so stupid when I put it like that....”
“No, it doesn’t,” he replied. “And as long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters.”
He shut the door with a click, and she sank farther down into the hot water.
* * *
THE YOGA PANTS were a perfect fit, and Duke’s army sweatshirt was big and cozy. Carrie wrapped her hair into an impromptu bun with an elastic and limped her way down the stairs. The hot water had helped ease some of the stiffness and definitely warmed her up, but she was very aware that she’d be sporting bruises by the morning.
The kitchen smelled delightful, like tomatoes and garlic and pasta. Helen stirred something on the stove and Lacey was washing up a few dishes. Quinn sat in the living room talking to a man Carrie didn’t recognize, with Amber curled up in his arms, sleeping. Duke was on the other side of Quinn, one ankle crossed over his knee, relaxing while the fire snapped and crackled in the fireplace.
He noticed her standing there and smiled. “Better?” he asked.
“Much,” she answered, smiling back shyly. “Thanks for the shirt.”
“Carrie, this is David, my mom’s husband.” He introduced the other man, who instantly stood to shake her hand.
“I’m glad you both could make it,” Carrie offered. “Duke was pretty excited about having you here for the holiday.”
“So’s Helen,” David remarked. “Though it’s a shame Rylan didn’t make it before the storm.”
“There’s still time,” she said hopefully.
“We can always hope,” Duke replied.
“Cocoa’s ready,” Helen called out.
It was surreal, being in the midst of a big familial gathering. Even more so because Carrie knew things hadn’t always been easy in Duke’s family. She accepted a cup of cocoa and took a sip. “Oh, this isn’t the powdered stuff!” she exclaimed, looking at Duke’s mother.
“Milk, cocoa and sugar. Easy as anything and way better than the bought stuff.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at Helen. “For running the bath and everything. You, too, Lacey,” she added, looking over toward the sink. “The pants are perfect.”
“You’re welcome.”
Duke accepted a cup of cocoa and then touched her arm. “Can we go to the office to talk for a few minutes?”
Nerves bubbled in her stomach. A half hour earlier she’d been standing naked in the bathroom in front of him. Things were so not over between them, and she was scared. There was so much at stake. Duke’s future, her future, the future of Crooked Valley...and most important of all, the future of their child.
A few minutes? She doubted this could all be solved in a few minutes, but she nodded anyway.
They went down the hall and into the office. The window faced the front of the yard, and it was snowing so hard now Carrie couldn’t see past the posts of the veranda. She shivered as she thought about the cattle being outside, but knew their winter coats and instinct to take shelter would see them through. Duke shut the door behind them and her pulse took an anxious leap.
She turned to face him, expecting some sort of reprimand for putting herself in danger, but instead he just stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest.
“You scared me so bad,” he murmured against her hair.
Her eyes stung. “I’m sorry,” she replied, her voice thick. “I was so sure I had time. And I would have, if the bank had held and Sage hadn’t spooked. I never meant to worry you, Duke.”
“I should have gone with you. Quinn should have...”
“Quinn and I both agreed. Don’t blame him.”
“I don’t,” Duke answered. “I blame myself.”
Carrie lifted her head and pushed away a bit so she could meet his gaze. “Yourself? You didn’t do anything wrong! You found me, for God’s sake. What do you have to blame yourself for?”
He lifted his hand and placed it on her cheek. “I didn’t say the things I should have said. I did things wrong and then left you to just...deal. I forgot that we needed to be working as a team. I let you down, Carrie.”
He really thought this was his fault? “Hey,” she argued, “I promised I wouldn’t take chances, and I was so full of myself and my need to prove things to you that I broke that promise.” She reached up and squeezed the fingers that lay against her cheek. “My stupid pride,” she said clearly. “Pride and fear.”
“Well, next time can we not get caught up in all that pride of yours and my need to be right? It might make things a bit easier. And definitely less stressful for everyone involved.”
“Next time?” She frowned.
“Yes, next time. I’m staying on at Crooked Valley.”
His words sent a ray of happiness to her heart, but also a thread of apprehension. The ranch needed him, and if he stayed, her job would be secure. Her baby would have a father. And yet...she knew it had to be for the right reasons.
He led her to a chair and she sat while he pulled another one close for himself. He sat, too, reached out and took her hands in his. “I want you to know I heard what you said about me staying out of duty and you’re right. But I can’t just leave it out of my decision, because my sense of duty is part of who I am. If I left here, knowing what I’d left behind, I wouldn’t be happy. And yes, part of that would be because I would feel I’d failed in my duty. Not just my duty to you, or our child. But the duty to follow my heart.”
His gray eyes held her captive as he spoke, his strong hands holding hers tightly, as if afraid if he didn’t she’d disappear.
“When I was wounded, I told myself that my hearing was no big deal. I still had all my arms and legs. I could still hear, I just had to make adjustments. But I was lying to myself, Carrie. It wasn’t about the hearing. It was about the loss of control of my own life. I felt like I wasn’t in charge anymore. Like I was a playing piece being moved around on a board but I didn’t know what the game was. Today, when I was trying to find you, I was so angry at the twist of fate that took my hearing because if I had it I’d be able to find you. And then I realized something really, really amazing. If I hadn’t lost my hearing, I wouldn’t have come back to Crooked Valley. And I wouldn’t have found you. And that would have been the worst tragedy of all.”
She swallowed against the tears in her throat. “Duke...”
“I’ve come to love the ranch. I love being outdoors, doing something new every day, working with the animals, working with the staff... I like it here. I know I have a lot to learn but I’d like to learn it. As much as I hate to admit it, my grandfather might have been right all along. This is where I belong. Crooked Valley should be in the family.”
She was glad he’d found a connection to the place Joe had loved so deeply.
“But that’s not why I’m staying. How can I leave knowing my son or daughter is here? I lost my dad when I was so young and had to grow up without him. I didn’t have a choice then, but I do now. I’m going to be a dad to this baby, Carrie. I promise.”
She looked down into her lap. He was saying so many good and right things, she should be happy. Instead her heart ached because she’d fallen in love with him weeks ago and he still hadn’t said the words to let her know he felt the same. She bit down on her lower lip to keep it from wobbling. His love was the only Christmas gift she wanted.