by Delisa Lynn
“That motherfucker raped you, Tatum! He took advantage of you when you asked him not too.” I yelled, I tried to lower my voice but I was so mad. I was ready to find him and shove my foot so far up his ass.
“No, he didn’t rape me. I’m his girlfriend, and I told him I couldn’t but he wanted to anyways.”
“That’s fucking rape, Ta!! You said no, and he did it anyways.”
“No, it’s, just never mind. Let’s get some sleep. I won’t go back to him, just hold me.”
“You better not go back to him! If I ever see him, he won’t be able to walk again.” I said as I kissed her cheek.
“Evan, thank you. You will never know how much I love and appreciate you.” She said as she kissed my lips.
“Ta, you do not have to thank me. I will always be here for you and you know that. I love you, too.” I said, only if she knew how I really felt about her. I think that’s why I was so attracted to Lila, she looked a little like Tatum.
I loved Tatum more than she would ever know. I would do anything for her. I held her in my arms all night. I listened to her cry and shake all fucking night. I wrapped my legs around her and held onto her as tight as I could, placing small kisses on her head, face, and, hair all night. He raped her and she wouldn’t admit it. I was so close to just telling Zander so we could find this motherfucker and make him pay. She was crying and moaning in her sleep, I wonder how often he did this to her. Where the hell did she find that piece of shit?
“Good morning,” I said looking at a swollen faced Tatum.
“Morning, thank you again. I’m going to shower.” She said as she got out of the bed. She went into the bathroom and I could hear her crying through the door. I knew she needed to be alone, but I wanted to make sure she was okay. So I went in and sat on the toilet. She never said anything and neither did I. I sat there, listening to her cry.
“Tatum, you know you can send him to jail for what he has done to you?” I said as I handed her a towel.
“It’s okay, I’m not seeing him anymore I told you.”
“I hope you don’t, but if you do know that he will keep hurting you over and over again.” I said as I left the room.
We got breakfast before heading to the airport, I hated seeing her like this. She promised me she would leave him and to call me every day. I couldn’t tell Zander, I promised her. But I did tell her if it happened again, Zan and I would give pretty boy Thayer a new face.
“Evan, thank you again. I will always owe you. You have rescued me so many times.”
“I would do anything for you Ta, and you know it. It’s not too late, you can come back with me.” I said as I hugged her.
She kissed my lips, I could feel a tingle in my heart as her soft swollen lips touched mine. I knew I shouldn’t have, but I parted her lips with my tongue and let out tongues find each other. I had wanted to kiss her like that for a long time, she didn’t stop me either. She wrapped her hands in my hair and pulled my face deeper into hers, I felt a small moan escape her mouth.
God, I wished she was mine. I would never hurt her. I would spend the rest of my life making her happy. I held her in my arms and kissed her hard and passionately.
Once we were both breathless, we separated, panting and I had wanted more. She had this look in her eyes, it was a confused and hurt look. A look as if she was unsure what to do now.
“Tatum baby, please stay with me, don’t go back. I’ll take care of you! You can go to school here. I want and need…” She stopped me before I could get the words out.
“Evan, I have to. I love you and I would love to stay with you, but I can’t. I have to go. I’m so sorry. Please. You have your own life.”
“Tatum, you can be my life. I will never stop loving you, hell I think I’ve loved you since I was five! Please baby, don’t do this, I couldn’t live with myself if he hurt you again. I will kill him, Tatum, if he ever hurts you again. I would rather spend the rest of my life in prison than see him hurt you. You are killing me, you aren’t only borrowing my time, but my heart, too.”
She shook her head and walked toward the terminal. I hoped that wouldn’t be the last I saw of her. He had already beat the hell out of her several times and broken her arm. God, I prayed she didn’t go back to him.
Two months had passed and Tatum had went back to Thayer. I took her number out of my phone and I wouldn’t ever contact her again. I actually had a date tonight, not with Lila either, she was still with Liam, even though she hadn’t heard from him. There was a girl that was a file clerk at the firm and she has hinted around that she would like to go out with me. And she was single so I thought what the hell, I needed to move on with my life. I would be graduating in a year in half and I couldn’t sit around and wait. The only thing about it was she and Audrey were friends, Audrey also worked at the firm.
I went to pick Hayden up and she looked beautiful with her long black hair and deep brown eyes. Her Polynesian heritage showed in her soft caramel skin tone. .She moved here from Hawaii when she was seven, and has lived in New York since then. I took her a dozen of roses and a bottle of wine. She had a little apartment about twenty miles from the firm. When she opened the door, she smiled ear to ear. She was wearing a navy blue dress, with a low neck and a pair of black heels.
“Hey handsome, give me a second and I will be ready. These are beautiful. I will put them in some water. Come on in.” She said as she closed the door behind me.
“Glad you like them, and you look beautiful as always.” I said with a wink. She always looked nice. I actually think she was a little older than me. But I would never ask her age. I’d seen her outside of work at Audrey’s and she always looks great, hell even in those yoga pants she wore. We were going to a little Asian restaurant around the corner. I had never ate there but she said it was great.
Once in the restaurant we start talking and getting to know one another. And she say the words. Ahh fuck, here we go.
“Evan, I really like you, but you must know I just got out of a relationship and I’m just looking for some good company. If you know what I mean.” She said with a wink. Damn, I really could see myself sleeping with her, but no, I won’t do it. I knew I was a damn fool, but I couldn’t have more respect for myself than her. Damn that was my fucking conscious talking again. That son of a bitch always got me in trouble.
“I really like you, but I’m not looking for anything other than friendship. I’m sorry if I wasted your time.” I said as I take a drink of wine.
“Oh dear, are you turning down my proposition Evan?”
“Yes, I’m sorry Hayden, I’m just not interested.” I said as I wanted to kick myself in the ass.
“Oh well, I understand. I can find my own way home. I’m sorry for any trouble I caused, I just thought you would be a good lay.” She said as she stood up and walked away. What the hell happened? Oh fuck me, did I screw up? I paid the bill and went home. When I walked in the door Brody looked as if he was going to puke and he looked as if he had been crying.
“Hey bro, you okay? You don’t look so good.” I said as I threw my keys on the counter.
“Evan, sit down. There is something you need to know. I…ahh… Hell. I don’t know how to tell you this, dude.”
“What the hell, Brody? You know you can tell me anything. Just say it. Are you okay? Is Zander okay?”
“Yes, we are both fine. It is… Your parents… They were in an accident and… And your mom didn’t make it.” He said as he started to cry again.
“What did you say?” I asked as I felt my heart sink.
“Evan, your dad called and your mom died about an hour ago.” He said as he put his arms around me.
I lost it. I started throwing things and I needed her, I needed Lila. I called her and text her so much I ended up driving there when she didn’t answer. I started banging on the door. She finally opened it.
“Evan, what the fuck, are you okay?” she asked pulling me in the door.
“She is gone, Lila. My mom is
gone. What am I supposed to do?”
“Oh Evan, I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do? Did you book your flight home yet?” she asked as she got her phone and started making plans.
“No, can you please do it?”
“Of course I will. You stay here and we will go in the morning.”
“Okay, I just need you right now Lila.” I said as I hugged her.
After about two hours we finally laid down. She wasn’t wearing anything but a t-shirt and thongs. She let me hold her while I cried. She was crying with me. She kept placing small kisses on my hands and my cheeks. I knew it’s wrong but I was there and she is there and I needed her so goddamn bad. I kissed her, that kiss I’d been wanting for so fucking long. Holly hell, she didn’t stop me and she kissed me back. We laid there for minutes just holding each other and kissing.
“Lila, I know this is wrong and I’m sorry.” I said as I hugged her tighter, I needed her badly. Hell, I wanted her just as much as I needed her.
“Evan, you are hurting I know and it’s okay. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want you to touch me.” She said as she kissed my cheek.
I had just lost my mother and I felt like my life was falling apart around my feet. But Lila made that pain go away. I started kissing her again. God she could kiss, the instant her tongue touched mine I could feel my dick getting hard. “Lila, baby I need you so bad. I want to make love to you so fucking bad right now.” I said as I slid my hands up and down her hips.
“Evan, it’s okay. I need you too.” She said as she slid her shirt off. I started kissing her chest and I wrapped my mouth around her left nipple as my hand slid down her body.
I reached her opening. “Mmm, baby you are so wet.” I said as I slid a finger inside of her, I’d waited for this day for so long. I wanted to be inside of her so fucking bad. With every move of my finger she pushed into my hand. I felt her build up around my fingers, I pulled my pants off and grabbed a condom.
I slid it on and kneeled between her legs, I looked at the want and hunger in her eyes, she bit her bottom lip and pulled me closer to her. I took her bottom lip in my mouth and bit on it just as she let a small sensual moan escape. I guided myself in her, she was so wet and so warm, and I’d never been inside of anyone as beautiful as Lila.
“Oh baby, this is everything I’ve imagined.” I said as I made our bodies become one. I couldn’t stop looking at how beautiful she was. “Open your eyes Lila, I want to see how beautiful you are.” She opened them and a small smile spread across her face.
“Evan, this feels so amazing.” She said as she wrapped her legs around my back.
I was so deep inside of her, I knew I couldn’t hold back any longer. I started thrusting in and out so fast I lost my breath and before I could even let her know I was at my peak we were both screaming and holding tightly to one another. I fell on top of her chest kissing her. I hoped that wasn’t a dream. I rolled over and looked at her and I saw a tear roll down her face. Right then I knew she had retreated and regretted everything we had shared. Goddamn, I fucked up. Hell I may had just lost one of my best friends, she meant so much to me.
“Are you okay, darlin’?” I asked, knowing I didn’t want to hear her answer.
“I’m fine, love. We need to get some sleep. Good night, Evan. I love you.” She whispered as she turned over. I knew she was crying, I could feel her body moving.
“I love you, more than you will ever know.” I whispered. I laid there and held her all night.
Once we landed in Utah, I had no clue how I would handle everything. My father looked so sad and I knew he would be lost without my mom. This had changed all of our lives. Lila and I stayed with him after we made the funeral arrangements. I didn’t know what would happen with Lila and me. I knew that she had regrets about what we experienced and probably would act very different towards me. My dad really liked her. He thought she was my girlfriend, I didn’t let him think any different. The funeral was tomorrow and this is one thing that I never imagined I would have to do. I thought my parents would be here forever. It goes to show that not every day is a guarantee.
Lila and I slept in my room, she hadn’t kissed me or hugged me since we left NYC. I wanted to ask her questions, but I thought I should wait. As we lay there sleeping next to one another, all I wanted to do is wrap my arms around her and hug her tight. I didn’t though. I hadn’t got much sleep and I still couldn’t fall asleep. I looked at my phone and realized it was after six in the morning. I got up and showered and Lila was still sleeping so I didn’t disturb her. I went down stairs to find my dad having coffee and starting to make breakfast.
“Morning Pop. How are you doing?”
“I’m okay son, just really tired. I’ve so many unanswered questions. She was fine one minute then the next she was gone. After thirty years with her, how the hell am I supposed to live without her?” he said as I saw unshed tears in his eyes.
“Dad, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say. It’s crazy how life happens. Hell, I thought you two would outlive me. I was devastated when Brody told me. Mom was a wonderful person. She left a footprint on all of our hearts, that’s for sure. Do you remember that Easter when I didn’t want to wear my tie? She told me that the Easter bunny would take all of my candy and toys away if I didn’t. Then she wore a tie so I would. Then there was that time that she made Brody and I volunteer at the soup kitchen for Christmas. She always had a kind heart and would do anything for anyone.” I said as the tears fell down my cheeks.
“I know son, that was the type of person she is…was. She was always like that, and one of the many reasons I love her so much.”
We started cooking breakfast then Lila came strolling in the kitchen, she loved bacon so I made sure I made her some. “Good morning, darlin’.” I said as I kiss her forehead.
“Good morning it smells great in here.” She said as she poured a cup of coffee. I would love making her breakfast every morning but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. We all ate and talked, and then it was time, time to say good bye to my wonderful mother. My grandparents flew out and my Aunt Frances was going to stay with my dad for a while. I knew she would make sure he was taken care of.
I was going to sing at the funeral, I had no clue where I would get the strength to but my mother loved my voice, and I had to do that for her. I started singing the lyrics of “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley. I could feel my voice cracking, but I knew I had to do this for my mom. She loved this song and loved hearing me play my guitar. As I sang this last song for my beautiful mother, I could feel her presence. I could see her smiling at me, and telling me how much she loved me.
Lila stood by my side the whole time. She never left me, and she was as emotional as I was. Every time I felt like I would lose it, I felt Lila squeeze my shoulder. She helped me through everything. I really appreciated her for that. After the service we all went back to the house and ate and told stories. I didn’t want to leave my Pop’s but I knew I had to get back to my life and he needed to live his. I was hoping maybe he would move to Alabama with my grandparents but his life was here and he was a stubborn man. We said our goodbyes and left to go back to New York.
It’s been two months since my mother’s death. Lila has been my friend through it all, we have never talked about that night at all. She still hasn’t heard anything from Liam. I felt really bad for her, I really hoped he wasn’t dead. I know she loves him very much. Her friend Addison was coming to visit and we were all having dinner together. I had no clue how but Alyssa knows about Lila and me sleeping together. I tried denying it but she knew, I hadn’t even told the guys. It wasn’t any of their business. I also didn’t want them to think differently of Lila either.
Brody was still trying to figure out what was going on with Nikki, but of course none of the girls was saying anything about it. After Addison arrived I could see how happy Lila was, she acted a lot different around her. Addison was full of spunk, she is also Lila’s brother’s girlfriend. I had never met h
im but had heard lots of great things about him. I made dinner, we had BLT’s and onion rings. Yeah, Lila’s choice. They all laughed when they see what we were having.
“Evan, can I talk to you for a sec?” Addison asked
“Of course, sweetheart.” I said as we walked outside.
“Okay listen, I know what happen with you and Lila. I’m okay with it, but she needs you right now. If you hurt her in any way, I will cut your balls off and shove them up your ass. Got it?” she said pointing her finger in my face.
“Uh, yeah. No problem, I would never hurt her.” I said with a lump in my throat.
“Okay good, we never had this conversation.” She said laughing. I just gave her a wink and we went back inside. I could tell Lila wanted to know what was said but I didn’t tell her. We had a great time then we had to take Addison to the airport, I could tell Lila was sad. I was glad I had my two best friend’s right here with me.
It was November and time for me to lose Lila, her dude was coming home this week. She was so excited. I was taking her to the airport and I knew that our friendship would change once he came home, especially if she told him we slept together.
“Evan, I love you very much but my heart is Liam’s. I’m so sorry all this happened.” She said wiping her tears.
“I know babe, Liam is one lucky bastard that’s for sure.” I said as I kissed her goodbye. I started walking away and she came running back to me. I could hear her yelling but as she got closer I heard her words.
“Evan, I love you so much and can’t lose you. I need you in my life too.” She said as she kissed me hard and passionate. She grabbed her mouth with both hands and took off running I could see she was still crying. Fuck why the hell is she with him? I hope that we can remain friends, once she tells Liam about us he is going to make her stop seeing me. I know I would if she was mine, I would be so jealous.