by Delisa Lynn
I walked out of the airport and headed to the bar. I needed to drink all my sorrows away. Of course, fucking Alyssa was there. I sat and talked to her, she was seeing a new guy, don’t know where he was tonight. She begged me to go home with her but hell I couldn’t and wouldn’t. I drank until I couldn’t drink anymore and went home. Audrey saw me walking in the building and started talking a mile a fucking minute, sometimes I had no clue what she was saying. She was babbling something about me and Hayden.
“Audrey, I’m really tired and I don’t feel like company.” I said.
She looked at me and said, “Well I wasn’t coming to visit you anyways dickprick! I was just curious why you fucked everything with Hayden up. All she wanted to do was bang your fine ass, but you turned her down. She wanted no strings attached, you dumbass.”
Then she stormed off. Damn someone needs to buy that girl some soap for her fucking mouth. I walk in the door and see Brody pacing back and forth and he looked pissed off. Jesus what the hell now?
“Everything okay man?” I asked as I closed the door.
“Dude, Nikki has a boyfriend! That’s the whole reason she moved home.” Brody said as he looked at me. I knew it that’s why they hadn’t said anything.
“Damn, bro that sucks, I’m sorry that she did that to you.” I said as I grabbed a beer and sat on the couch. I flipped on the TV and just kept flipping through the channels. I couldn’t sit still though, I knew that Lila was probably with Liam already and it was driving me crazy. I knew she is his and was never mine.
“Hey lets go to a party, I heard there is one that Miles’s and his crew is throwing.” Brody said as he looked at his phone. “Zander text me and said he is going also.”
“Fuck yeah! I’m in, let’s go.” I needed this I thought. I shower and get ready for the party. We rode together, I wasn’t planning on hooking up with anyone anyways. Miles always throws bad ass parties. The only thing is there are always so many girls, but none of them was my type. They all were basically whores. They sleep with every man at the party. Perfect for Brody and Zander.
I noticed Audrey was there and she had Hayden with her. I really tried to avoid them, but hell I was drunk and wanted to dance. I started dancing with them. I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden I hear Zander yelling and blood flying. Audrey was crying and trying to pull Zander off some dude.
“Zan, come on bro, whatever it is it’s not worth it! Let’s go now.” I said pulling his arm. He let me drag him out and Brody was right behind us along with Audrey and Hayden. I had no fucking clue what the hell happened.
“Okay somebody want to tell me that was all about?” I yelled once we got around the corner. Audrey was still crying and shaking and holding on to Brody. Zander had a busted lip and a swollen eye, and Hayden was just tagging along.
“That guy was grinding on me and I asked him to stop, but then he pushed me against the wall and wouldn’t keep his hands off of me. I tried kicking him in his balls, but I couldn’t get my fucking leg from his. That mother fucking cock sucker had my damn legs and my arms pinned against the wall with his raunchy pussy breath all in my face.” Audrey said as she was now clinging to Zan.
“He had no right to fucking touch her like that, that’s why I beat the shit out of him. She asked him to stop and he didn’t. I could see her out the corner of my eye. I walked over and he makes like she wanted to be shoved up against the goddamn wall. So he got what he deserved.” Zander said as he sat down on a bench.
“Ahh hell, Audrey are you okay?” I asked, I seen that guy but just thought she wanted to dance with him like that.
“I...I’m fine thanks to Zander, if he hadn’t come that son of a bitch was going to fucking have his way with me, and he was much stronger than me. I couldn’t even get my knife out of my purse.” She said as she wiped her tears.
“Well I’m glad you’re okay, let’s try not to stab anyone. We can’t have you going to jail.” I said as I hugged her. She was a sweet girl, and beautiful, she just talked too much for me. I noticed the further we walked that Brody and Hayden was hand in hand. When we got to the car, Zan and Audrey got in with me and Brody said he was catching a ride. Well Hayden was finally getting her some tonight because Brody would damn sure fuck her.
“Zander, thank you so much, you are my hero for the night. I wanted to chop his fucking balls off and shove them up his nose.” Audrey cried.
Zander put his arm around her and said, “Audrey no one will ever hurt you. I promise you that.” We all went back to my place, and drank some more and played cards. I really think I see a future for the two of them. I went to bed and left them playing cards. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. I just needed to go to bed, that all I wanted was to get in bed and sleep for hours. It would be nice if I had a woman to lay next to me, hell maybe I should get a damn dog, at least they wouldn’t leave me.
I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing, I looked at the clock and it said eight-thirty a.m. What the fuck, can’t these people let me sleep? I didn’t even see who was calling I just slid the answer button over and said, “Yeah, do you know what time it is?” Ahh fuck, it’s Lila. “Calm down what’s wrong?” I asked I could tell she was crying. “Lila, what do you mean he never came home? I thought you have been with Liam this whole time?” I asked I could hear her crying, and she just wouldn’t stop. “Lila, baby do you need me to come over?”
“Yes Evan, I need you now.” She said through her sobs. I jumped up and threw some clothes on and threw some clothes in a bag, I like to have extra in my car. She sounded so upset and I knew I would be with her all day. What did she mean he never came back? I hope he isn’t hurt.
I pulled into the parking lot and I think skipped every other step, trying to get in the door to her. She looked awful, her hair was on top of her head and looked like she hadn’t brushed it for a week. Her makeup was down her face. She was wearing Liam’s Army t-shirt and a pair of sweats.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” I asked as I held her in my arms. She was crying so hard she was snorting, every other word was a sob then a snort.
“He…he… He’s gone, he didn’t come...snort...back to me…snort… He never showed up, he…snort… I haven’t talked to him since January and I haven’t heard from him since May…snort… He left me all alone. He said he would be back and now I’m all alone.” She cried in my arms.
“It’s okay, he will be back. Maybe his assignment was longer and he can’t call right now. Everything will be okay. I’m here and I’m not going nowhere. Look at me, did you hear me I’m not going anywhere.” I said as I hugged her tight. She was shaking so bad, she has been here all week like this, and hasn’t called me. I don’t know if I should be angry or just let it go.
“Evan, please stay with me. I need you to stay. Please. Please don’t leave me too.” Oh hell, how could I tell her no, as much as I knew I shouldn’t stay, I couldn’t leave her like this not now. She needed me and when I needed her she was right there for me.
“I will stay, I’m not going anywhere, Lila. I will always be here for you.” I said as I pulled her on my lap. I sat there and cradled her in my lap while she cried for another man. She finally feel asleep in my arms, I carried her to her bed and laid her down. Even the mess she is in she is still as beautiful as ever. I covered her up and placed a light kiss on her cheek.
“No, Evan. Stay, hold me.” She said as she scooted over. I didn’t say anything I climbed in the bed and held her just as she asked. I hoped that I could help her broken heart. It was hurting me seeing her like this. She cried all night. Finally I could hear her breathing back to normal, she was holding on to me so tight I couldn’t move.
It’s been a week since Lila had her melt down, not knowing where Liam is. He hasn’t contacted her at all. I hope he is okay. I had a special trip planned for her. I heard about this campground in upstate New York, it’s called Black Bear.
I packed blankets, food, hot chocolate, coffee, and extra clothes. When I
picked Lila up, I hoped that we could make a weekend out of it. I loved spending time with her. I knew she was hurting over Liam, and I wanted to try and make her feel better. She seemed lost sometimes and I don’t know if I could help her heal. I do know she was helping me heal, the more time I spent with her the less I thought and worried about Tatum. Hell who was I kidding, I would always worry about her.
“Hey, did you sleep well?” I asked Lila as she slid in the car.
“Good morning, I did actually, where we going?” she said as she kissed my cheek.
“You’ll see, I figured we both could use this little get away. I have packed everything, so we will be fine.” I said as I placed my hand on her thigh.
“You always know how to make me smile, Evan.”
I gave her a wink. I drove for about an hour, and stopped off at a gas station, filled the tank up and grabbed some chips and water. We didn’t have much further to go and then I seen the huge sign, which was a black bear. Lila had a strange look on her face, I looked at her and said, “It’s a camp ground, I don’t think there is any bears though.” She smiled back and said, “I hope not.”
I got the blankets and picnic basket out and sat them on the ground next to a tree. Lila looked so beautiful, she was wearing a pair of tight jeans and a low cut sweater. She had on a brown pea coat that fit tightly to her body and of course a pair of brown Ugg boots. Her hair was straight and spread out over her shoulders. She had on that glittery pink lip gloss that actually tasted pretty damn good.
“Evan, have you been here before?” she asked as she stepped closer to me.
“No, darlin’ this is my first time. I wanted to bring you here to talk and clear our minds. I know we both have had a lot going on lately, and felt we needed a break. I know with everything going on with Liam, you are lost and confused. Please know I’m here for you baby.” I said as I pulled her in for a hug.
“Thank you Evan, you will never know how much you truly mean to me. I do love you, I hope you know that. I will always love Liam, I just wish I knew exactly where he is.”
I hugged her tight, then pulled away, and lifted her chin with my fingers. I could see the unshed tears in her eyes ready to drop any second. I wanted to kiss her so fucking bad. I knew it was wrong, I had overstepped boundaries once with her, and she had made it clear her heart was Liam’s.
“Lila, it’s okay to cry, my love. If you want to talk I’m here, that’s why we are here together, to talk and get everything out. If you need to cuss, yell, and cry, do it. I will hug you as much as you want me to.”
“Evan, how the hell did I get so lucky to have you in my life. You are one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. You have a huge heart, and you love unconditional. That’s one of the reasons I love you. Well that and you are a mighty fine looking man.” She said with a wink.
“You my dear are beautiful, I could look at you all day long and not get tired of it.” I said as I placed a kiss on her forehead. I sat on the blanket and she joined me. She pulled her knees into her chest and hugged them. I could tell she was still thinking about everything that was going on.
“Evan, please tell me you brought hot chocolate? I’m freezing.” She said as she pulled the blanket around her.
“Do you really think I would bring you here without coffee and hot chocolate?” I laughed as I asked.
“Did you bring your guitar?”
“Of course I did,” I said as I poured a cup of hot chocolate.
“Will you sing to me? Please?” she asked as she smiled and flashed her dimples.
“I will sing whatever you want me too.” I said as I turned to walk to the car. I grabbed my guitar and went back to a smiling Lila, she was curled up on the blanket sipping her cup of hot chocolate. Damn, that girl was sexy even with all those clothes and a blanket wrapped around her.
I started singing the lyrics of Daughtry’s “Start of Something Good” and Lila just laid there staring at me. I could feel every lyric in my heart and I saw it touched her just as much as it did me. I felt unshed tears form in my eyes, at this point I didn’t care if they fell and she would have seen them. I wanted her to know exactly how I felt about her.
“Evan, that was amazing. I love your voice, and I love the fact that when you sing to me, you don’t take your eyes off of mine.”
“Thanks. I love singing to you.” I said as I leaned over and kissed her cheek. Just then she turned my face to hers and pulled me in for a kiss, I felt a groan escape my mouth as she slid her tongue in between my lips. Her tongue touched mine, I could feel my dick trying to escape my boxers. I had to adjust myself, and she started laughing. Hell, she knew exactly what she did to me.
“Evan, I don’t know what’s going to happen but right now I know I want you.” She said as she started kissing me again, this time it wasn’t as passionate, it was deep and hard. I could feel her grip on the back of my head, she pushed her body into mine. “Take me now Evan, please make love to me here.” She begged as she basically dry humped me.
“Lila, that’s not what I brought you out here for. Trust me, I want to fuck you more than anything, but I can’t.” I said as I backed away from her. Goddamn it, this is the whole Tatum situation all over again. How in the hell could I be in love with both these girls and they both belong to someone else, and are begging me to make love to them. I started pacing back and forth, I wanted to take her right there, I wanted to be so deep inside her, and hear her screaming my name. Telling me how much she wanted me, but it was all wrong. She had someone else to say those things to.
“Evan, will you look at me? I need you and only you. This is about you and me and no one else. I love you so much, I can’t imagine my life without you. Liam isn’t here, I don’t know where he is. I want to be with you, please don’t turn away from me. I know this is hurting you as much as it is me.” She said as she wrapped her arms around my waist. Here it was, she wanted me to make love to her and I was crying like a bitch.
I grabbed Lila by the waist and started kissing her, she dropped the blanket, I took her coat off and then her shirt, and she started undressing me as she kicked her boots off. This woman was so goddamn sexy. I pulled my pants down and I was so fucking hard my dick hurt. I knew she could feel it as I pushed up against her.
“Evan, now. I need you now…Please…”
“I don’t have any condoms, Lila. I wasn’t planning on doing this.” I said as I kissed her breast.
“Don’t need it, I’m on the pill.” She said as she kissed my neck.
“You sure? I have never been bareback with anyone.” I said as I kissed her neck.
“I’m sure, now please, I want you.” She said as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I pushed her back up against the tree and guided myself in her sweetness. It felt so good being inside of her, she was so tight and so wet. I could feel her juices running down my balls.
“Evan…Oh God… Evan, please go deeper. I want to feel all of you. It’s been to fucking long since I had you and I want it all. Oh God, Evan I love you so much.”
“I love you too, baby. Always have and always will.” I said as I pushed deeper into her. She started screaming my name, her panting was making her breathless, I could feel my balls tighten, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came.
“I’m need to pull out, I’m getting ready to come.” I said as I gave her one last thrust.
“No, please no… I want all of you, please come in me Evan. The pill, I’m on the pill… Let it go baby, come with me.” She said as she wrapped her legs tighter and pushed her body further down me.
“Lilia! Oh good God….” I roared as I came inside of her.
“Evan, that was wonderful.” She said as she kissed my cheek.
“I thought so, too,” I said trying to catch my breath, it was at least thirty degrees and there was snow on the ground, but we made each other so damn hot. We got dressed and lay back down and talked about everything. I wanted to make sure she was okay and that she didn’t have any regrets.
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“Lila, are we okay? I know that you love Liam and will always go back to him, but I can’t lose you. Hell I would marry you if I could. You mean so much to me.” I said as I rubbed my hand across her cheek.
“Evan, please know that I will always go back to Liam. But right now I am with you, I want to see where this will go. If you will allow that?”
“Anything you want, as long as I have you in some way. I am fine with that.” I said knowing, that it would kill me if he showed back up.
“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” I asked as I kissed her hand.
“Paris, I have always wanted to go there.” She said with a giggle
“Someday my love, someday we will go.” I said as I hugged her tight.
We laid there for what seemed to be hours and then got ready to head back to the city. Lila had decided she was going to stay with me, and I was glad she was. It was really late when we got back, so I carried her in and laid her in my bed. I slept with her in my arms all night long, I wondered how Liam was so lucky to have her heart. I wanted it so bad and he had it.
It had been a little over three weeks since Lila and I made love at Black Bear. She still hadn’t heard anything from Liam. I wanted to surprise her and take her out for her birthday. I had so much at the office to do, and she said she just wanted some alone time. So I worked and let her have her time, but come December 22nd she was spending the evening with me, I knew that Nikki nor Addison would be able to come in for her birthday. So I figured I was the next best thing, I made reservations at Digordo’s an Italian restaurant in Jersey City. It would be a little drive but I know we both need it. So much had been going through my mind since the day she told me she was in love with me too. I just didn’t know what to do about it all.
I was leaving the office and my phone started ringing, I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the screen when Lila’s name came across the screen. She said she wanted alone time, but maybe she had changed her mind.