Volume 8 - The Indignation of Suzumiya Haruhi

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Volume 8 - The Indignation of Suzumiya Haruhi Page 3

by Tanigawa Nagaru


  I knew that what he was saying was generally correct. It was certainly bad. But I think they still should’ve conferred with us to get a single word in at least. I don’t think they’d approve no matter what I would have answered, but I just can’t go with whatever they say.

  “You have a dirty mouth.”

  I was taking Nagato’s fury for my own,

  “If that’s how it is, then you should have called out Haruhi and talked to her directly. Why’d you summon Nagato if you were just going to shut down the Literature Club?”

  However, my counterattack seemed to have finished earlier than I had estimated.

  “Of course.”

  The President was not shaken at all. Rearranging his arms to look cool, with an expression like that of an elite section chief who had just finished reading a written review plan submitted by a blundering subordinate, he continued,

  “Because there is no such thing as an SOS Brigade within this school. Am I mistaken?”

  Has it really come to this, I thought.

  No matter how much the Student Council or the executive office had persisted, they couldn’t take down the SOS Brigade. Because, on paper, such a brigade could not exist in this school. That’s about as true as saying that losing more of what you don’t have is like how anything multiplied by zero becomes zero. Fumble around and it won’t be limited to just not getting the result of multiplying a negative by a negative; if you poke the girl called Suzumiya Haruhi the wrong way, you won’t know where she’d fly off to.

  Like aiming at a split with a hooking ball and crushing the ten pins in the neighboring lane, her personality was unreadable.

  Even if you attack her with a straight ball, she’s just going to smash a high-speed foul into your team’s dugout; doing so is just useless, and as for the Student Council and their conclusions, they were probably filling up a moat when they had drawn up that plan first.

  Specifically, that the SOS Brigade has been illegally residing in the clubroom section on the third floor of the Old Shack, which was the Literature Club’s clubroom.

  If the Literature Club is forfeited and gets downgraded, the SOS Brigade’s site will automatically disappear as well. We could only stay there regularly because Nagato, the one-and-only Literature Club member, had said “Okay,” though perhaps no human being other than Nagato would’ve replied so when asked to “Lend me your clubroom.”

  If the Literature Club is terminated, as it is, Nagato would no longer be a Literature Club member, and the room where she could quietly read books everyday would disappear, and the five of us would lose the place where we could gather together after school.

  What an excellent strategy. I would commend it. The bad thing is, because of what we had done, Nagato gets the roles of both the victim who gets the short end of the stick, as well as a co-conspirator.

  What’s difficult with the situation on this side is that even I know that a counter-argument cannot be constructed; at the very least, the one to wave that flag would be Haruhi, and though I have to question whether the President realizes it, it’s perfectly clear that a Nagato-call was folded within.

  So Nagato must be reaching her limit as well.

  “…………”

  The silent pressure building up within this petite figure in a sailor uniform was well known to me. Just what would happen if she were to release all that. Although the world would by no means be reconstructed, perhaps she could fly off with the President’s memory and turn him into a puppet. Or perhaps, like Asakura, she could manipulate data and change this clubroom and the President along with it into something different. The memory of how Nagato Yuki went wild, during that game war versus the Computer Club last fall, came back to me forcefully.

  As the Student Council President moved away and posed with his back to the setting sun, I was nervously wondering whether I should tell him what it really was,

  “…………”

  And while the invisible, pregnant atmosphere kept silent, it disappeared.

  “Hm?”

  The crystalline aura (at least it felt like it) that was emanating from Nagato was disappearing like a lie. By chance, when I had looked at Nagato’s face, her unblinking gaze was directed at someone other than the President.

  I turned to look as well.

  The female student, who was looking down at the meeting minutes as she moved her pen, and whom I had guessed was a second year girl acting as the secretary, slowly lifted her face.

  “……Eh?”

  That stupid sounding voice was mine.

  Why was this person here? Her name didn’t immediately come back to me…… ah, I remembered. It was summer. There was a strange incident a short while after the end of Tanabata. And then, though I had not forgotten what I had seen, I’d rather say that with that meaningless incident…….

  “Is anything the matter?”

  The President said in a voice that was all business,

  “Ah, I haven’t introduced you. She is my Student Council’s top executive, and is acting as our secretary―――”

  The female student’s hair moved lightly as she took a silent bow.

  “This is Kimidori Emiri-kun.”

  The giant kamadouma came back to my mind with thunderous sound effects.

  “Kimidori-san?”

  Starting from the SOS Brigade website’s abnormality, a problem consultation about the Computer Club President going AWOL led us to an alternate space, and though she was one of the people caught up in those debilitating events within that chain of stupidity, she was pretending not to recognize us at all as she set herself in a corner of the Student Council.

  Kimidori-san gave a gentle smile, and her eyes met mine before she swung them over to Nagato.

  Kimidori-san gave a gentle smile, and her eyes met mine before she swung them over to Nagato. Their eyes appeared to thin a little. Adding to that, it seemed like they were even giving each other looks. And even more, it looked like Nagato gave a small, reluctant nod.

  What? Was there some kind of telepathy going on between these two?

  Now that I think about it, that incident was even stranger than I had considered. Though she had said she was the Computer Club President’s girlfriend, I later learned from the guy himself that he didn’t have one. Well, although Kimidori-san had come to the SOS Brigade for a consultation for some reason, I felt certain that Nagato had known. However, for them to stare each other down after happening to meet in this place, I can’t think that this was just a coincidence.

  Like a Partisan Boy Soldier hearing the sounds of Stuka Dive Bombers flying in formation, I was struck by a scare,

  Bang!

  A sound like a balloon bomb exploding boomed from the back. My heart smashed against a rib and almost leapt out of my chest as I was completely left in the lurch,

  “Hold it right there!”

  Raising a battle cry as she swung the Student Council room door wide open, there was no mistaking the master as she released a voice that easily exceeded 100 decibels. The voice that made rippling vibrations on my eardrums kept going on.

  “You quack of a Student Council President! What do you think you’re doing, shutting away three of my loyal servants in such a place! I would’ve found out sooner or later, but if it was something so interesting, you should have told me first! And what did you do? You couldn’t have been bullying Yuki, could you? It’d be okay if it were just Kyon, but if it’s Yuki, I totally won’t allow it! I’ll beat you senseless and toss you from the window to the pool!”

  Jumping in with a threatening poise like a mama cat that had picked up her kitten, ah, only one person fits the profile.

  Although there was no need to turn around, I looked back to see the expression on that person’s face. I knew it. It was my violent and lively classmate, whose whole body was radiating a happiness that just screamed, “I’ve found something interesting!”

  “You can’t hope to keep me out of this. I am the supreme leader of the SOS Brigade
, after all!”

  As Haruhi banged out her with her big mouth, she spotted the last boss in an instant. The huge pupils which seemed to be crammed with whole clusters of galaxies locked onto the lanky figure holding down his glasses.

  “Are you the Student Council President? Alright, I’ll take you on, head-to-head! It’s the Chief versus the President, so the purse should be equivalent. You got nothing against that, right!?”

  How did you know we were here? As I was about to state this naïve question,

  “Hey, Kyon! Shouldn’t you be doing something instead of just standing there, watching quietly? Don’t hold back just because it’s the Student Council President. If we all jump him and tie him up, that should be it. I’ll put him in a lock, so you get the rope ready!”

  Those eyes were going to burst with lava and flare up to make a caldera any time now. In contrast to this,

  “…………”

  Nagato did not move an inch, like a frontline commander ignoring the arrival of reinforcements she had not asked for, and kept staring at Kimidori-san like a dormant volcano. However, instead of jumping the Student Council President or going off to search for some rope, I spied the expression on the person who was exposed to this intruder’s threat.

  It was a strange sign. The President’s brows were knotted, and he was turned toward somewhere beside me with accusing eyes. It was at Koizumi, and for some reason, he seemed to shake his head a little. He had a bitter smile on his lips, and it seemed to me like these two had just completed some wordless communication; let’s just forget I ever noticed anything.

  “And what was that! If you’re going to summon somebody, I should be the first priority! You people may be the Student Council and all that, but how could you leave me, the Chief, out!?”

  “Please calm down, Suzumiya-san.”

  Koizumi nonchalantly placed his hand on Haruhi’s shoulder,

  “Let’s hear the Student Council’s side first. We were still in the middle of our discussion.”

  He suspiciously tried to meet my eyes. Damn you, just what do you want me to do?

  The one thing I do know, is that our Excellency, Chief Haruhi, had gallantly come running for us in our predicament,

  “Now that it’s come to this, I’m declaring total war! Because, for your information, we take on any challenge from anyone, anytime, anywhere! The SOS Brigade is made up of nothing but women (and men) of valor, who are invincible and know no mercy or fear. Even if you cry or kneel on the ground, we will not forgive you!”

  It seems like she’s just making the situation more complicated.

  Tsuruya-san, who had declared she would participate in the war in advance, Nagato, who was right at the verge of rage, and, as a bonus, Kimidori-san, who had made her unexpected return here; this much would’ve been complicated enough.

  Incidentally, even Koizumi and the President were part of the picture for some reason.

  “And Kyon, just what do you think you’re doing? Only Student Council Presidents should take on Student Council Presidents. It should be the easiest thing to realize that he’s not our enemy character. Don’t do battle here; take the fight somewhere else. Just glare at him with a more resolute attitude!”

  The Student Council versus the SOS Brigade, huh…

  The Student Council versus the SOS Brigade, huh…….

  If only someone, somewhere would step on the switch for this event that I’d rather avoid. By no means do I want to think I have to be the one.

  While looking at Haruhi, who, for some reason, seemed to be as delighted as she was angry, I had to consider if I should just go with the flow from here, though, in any case, the conviction swirling around in my chest wasn’t that much.

  “Ah, well.”

  Is, well, something natural to be murmuring, I’d like to think.

  And in fact, they’ve just let out some not-so-good thing.

  Haruhi, whose job had changed from Brigade Chief to Editor-in-Chief, was commissioned to turn us brigade members into instant authors and compose some quasi-novels, which is a situation as unprecedented as the Jupiter Ghost being completely targeted by Stinger anti-aircraft missiles.

  Haruhi, like a short-fused street fighter who had come to the battle grounds after coming across a letter of challenge that had been sent to someone else,

  “Come now, you corrupt President! Attack me any way you want! No referee stoppage so no holding back, and we’ll be going with the nashi-nashi rule with no rope break, got it!?”

  Spouting off in an overbearing voice as he stood by the window, the Student Council President thrust out a finger with a snap.

  At the same time, the President, without hiding the annoyance on his face, said,

  “Suzumiya-kun. Though I do not know what sort of hand-to-hand combat you practice in your spare time, I have no intention of helplessly entering a battlefield that the opponent had prepared. The rules you talk of are at the pinnacle of barbarism. Repulsive. And most of all, for the Student Council, fights within the school are impermissible for any reason. Do remember this.”

  Haruhi, without looking away from the President,

  “Well then, what contest do you feel like? Wanna play Mahjong? Even if you bring out your ace pinch-hitter, it won’t matter against me. How about a computer game competition? It’s an offer you can’t refuse.”

  “There will be no Mahjong, and no games.”

  As the President elaborately took off his glasses and wiped them with his handkerchief, before putting them on again,

  “I had no intention of holding a contest, or such, from the start. Do you think we have as much free time as you do to go playing around?”

  As Haruhi lifted her foot to valiantly charge forward, I stopped her by grabbing on to her shoulder.

  “Wait a sec, Haruhi. Who told you we were here?”

  I asked, and she turned to me with a glint in her eye that exposed her fighting spirit.

  “I heard it from Mikuru-chan. And Mikuru-chan said she heard it from Tsuruya-san. When I heard that it seemed like you were called by the Student Council President for something, it struck me. Yuki and Koizumi-kun weren’t in the club room as well. Huh-hmm, I immediately knew that the Student Council had moved at last. Since he knew that he’d lose to me for sure, he thought of attacking a weak spot. It was obvious he would use such a cowardly, small-time scoundrel move.”

  The President was unperturbed even when he was called a small-time scoundrel. The tall figure of the sophomore gazed in annoyance at Haruhi, before he once again looked at Koizumi with a complaint in his eyes,

  “Koizumi-kun. Would you please explain it to them. The reason why I had invited Nagato-kun.”

  “By your leave, Mister President.”

  Though Koizumi, the carefree-smiling lover of exposition, had opened his mouth in order to enlighten us,

  “There’s no need to explain anything.”

  Haruhi swiftly refused.

  “After all, you’ve probably just served us false charges in order to destroy the Literature Club. If Yuki is no longer a club member, then we wouldn’t be able to use the club room, right? You thought that since Yuki was an obedient, goody-goody girl, you could simply wheedle her out, but that won’t do with me. If the SOS Brigade is such an eyesore for you, you should’ve just come and said it to us up front, not that sneaky manoeuvring from the side!”

  Haruhi got excited by her own line. At any rate, her intuition was as expected. Under these circumstances, if you think that Koizumi would be disappointed that he wasn’t able to explain away,

  “I thank you for minimizing the time needed to explain. It is as you have said.”

  Koizumi didn’t lose his smile as he feigned relief,

  “However, we were still in the middle of our talk. Perhaps the President has more to say. Any way you look at it, forcing the Literature Club, an officially recognized club, to suspend its activities with no grace period at all is unreasonable. Although I don’t think the Student Council
has that much authority, what is it that you are proposing, Mister President?”

  He finally explained it. Seeing that he was feeling the mood to watch such a transparently cheap play, the President acted more and more like an honor student.

  “Of course, we in the Student Council do not want such a useless disturbance to occur. If the Literature Club had held activities fitting for the Literature Club, there wouldn’t have been one complaint in the first place. What we see as a problem, is that there has not even been one such activity.”

  “Do you mean that we could alternatively change our club activities instead of the forced suspension?” Koizumi responded at once.

  “It is not an alternative, it is a requirement.”

  The President, in a troublesome manner,

  “Even if it’s just once, you must hold an activity befitting the Literature Club. If you do that, then the indefinite suspension of club activities will be temporarily frozen. We will even allow your continuance in the clubroom.”

  Haruhi put down the leg that she had been raising. However, with a face and voice that remained combative,

  “It’s good that you understand things. While you’re at it, aren’t you going to recognize the SOS Brigade? Just go straight to making us a club and we’ll act like a study group. And then you can make allocations for our club expenses, can’t you?”

  That was written in the student handbook. But the President, who could grant a two-rank special promotion to the brigade and it still wouldn’t be a club, without losing his sharpness,

  “I know of no such brigade. There’s no way I can authorize the club activities of a brigade which officially does not exist, nor can I make more allocations from our meager budget.”

  The President, who was slowly putting his arms together, met Haruhi’s scowl directly. To prove that he was not bluffing, the President didn’t sweat one drop. Just where was this composure coming from?

  “I don’t want to hear anything more about any brigades in front of me. The topic right now is the Literature Club. I have no interest in finding out what sort of brigade you all had formed without permission. Even though I don’t know about it, if it reaches my ears, it will only become a problem for the Literature Club. More than that, you can just go on without giving me any discomfort.”

 

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