Love by Secrets (A Romance Novella)

by Debra Elizabeth

  The two young women walked into the house arm-in-arm, each happy to see the other. Joseph followed them inside and left the bag with the housekeeper before turning the coach around and the long trip back to London.

  After the tea had been served by the housekeeper, Emily spoke. “Mia, I am so confused. Do you have any counsel for me on the matter I wrote to you about?”

  Mia leaned forward and whispered. “Did you bring the letters?”

  Emily opened her drawstring reticule, and pulled out a small packet of letters tied with a white, satin ribbon. She handed them to her friend. “These are all of them.”

  Mia untied the ribbon and began to read. When she finished the letters, she sat back in her chair. “Oh, my.”

  “What? Please, tell me what you think?”

  “My dear, sweet Emily, the man who wrote these letters is clearly in love with you.”

  A wide smile split Emily’s face. “I knew it. I am so happy you are in agreement with me. That is what is so confusing. I read his intent in the letters, but nothing has happened as of yet. Do you think Mr. Preston will come to see me soon?”

  “I believe he will; maybe even request an appointment with your father at the ball.”

  “You think so? At the ball Saturday next?”

  “I do. It would be the perfect opportunity for your father to give him a date to call on him.”

  “That would be so perfect.” Emily jumped up and hugged Mia. “Thank you so much. You have lifted a terrible burden from me. I’ve been so unsure about everything of late. My doubts have been plaguing me.”

  “It is my pleasure. I did not want to make any judgment in my last correspondence until I had read the letters myself. Do not let doubts plague you any longer. I believe you’ll be having a gentleman caller very soon.”

  “I’m so happy, and now can fully enjoy my visit with you. I’ve missed you terribly. I have no confidante at the balls. Everyone is nice, of course, but I do miss you. We haven’t seen each other since your wedding. Two months is too long to go without a visit.”

  “I agree. Time has flown by with setting up my household and getting settled. Mr. Giles is wonderful and I love him dearly.” Mia leaned closer. “I have a secret of my own to share with you.”

  “You do? Please don’t keep me waiting; do tell.”

  “I am with child.”

  Emily squealed in delight, and the young women clasped hands. “I am so happy for you; and Mr. Giles, of course. A home of your own and now a child on the way, how positively delightful for you.”

  “I have not told him yet,” Mia confessed. “He is away on business in London, but he is due home in two days. I cannot wait to tell him of my special news.”

  “Oh, Mia.” Emily sighed. “I am so happy for your good fortune. It is indeed well-deserved. Didn’t I always tell you how beautiful and special you are? I knew someone would see that as well.”

  Mia beamed with happiness. “Yes, you did. I am truly blessed.”

  Chapter 9

  Ethan Richardson smoothed his jacket once more before knocking on the door to the Stantons’ London home. He heard footsteps, and took a deep breath.

  Mrs. Jannell opened the door. “Mr. Richardson, it is a pleasure to see you, sir. May I help you?”

  “Yes, uh, thank you. I am here to see Mr. Stanton.”

  “Very good, sir. I’ll show you to his study.”

  Ethan followed the housekeeper down the hall, and waited while she knocked on the door.

  “Enter.”

  She opened the door. “Mr. Ethan Richardson is here to see you, sir.”

  “Show him in.”

  Ethan nodded to Mrs. Jannell, and walked past her into the study. “Good day, Mr. Stanton. Thank you for seeing me.”

  Riley stood up and walked around his desk. He extended his hand to the young man. “It is my pleasure, Richardson. May I offer you a brandy?”

  Ethan returned the firm handshake. “No; thank you kindly.”

  “Please have a seat. May I inquire as to the meaning of your visit?”

  Ethan tried hard to rein in the emotions roiling in his stomach. “Yes, sir. Well, um, I came here today for a matter of utmost importance to me. A personal matter.”

  “I see.” Riley leaned back in his chair. It didn’t take much to figure out why the nervous young man was here. Gentlemen requesting appointments with a young lady’s father usually meant he would offer her a proposal of marriage. “A personal matter, you say?”

  Ethan rubbed his hands on his trousers several times before looking up again at Riley. “Sir, I would very much like to request permission to marry your daughter Emily.”

  “Have you spoken with Emily?”

  “No, sir. I wished to speak with you before approaching Miss Stanton.”

  “I see. And why do you wish to marry my daughter, Mr. Richardson?”

  A slight coat of perspiration broke out on Ethan’s upper lip. He rubbed his hands again on his trousers before answering. “Sir, she is a delightful young woman, whom I’ve come to admire greatly. She lights up a room like a bright star whenever she enters.”

  “Indeed she does,” Riley agreed. “Have you discussed this with your aunt and uncle?”

  “I have spoken to Lady Tisbury. She thinks very highly of Miss Stanton and approves of the union. That is, of course, Miss Stanton agrees.”

  “I see.”

  “I wanted to let you know that she will be taken care of financially, of course. There is no question about that; but I will also give her a generous per annum of her own. She would be free to spend it however she pleases. I hear ladies like that and it is my wish to make Miss Stanton happy.”

  “I see. And what does your father think of the match?”

  “He is very much in favor, sir. He finds Miss Stanton to be a charming young lady.”

  Riley nodded his head. “Richardson, I’m pleased that you hold my daughter in such high regard. I agree with your father. This will be a good match. You may speak to her when she returns from a visit in the country.”

  Both men stood. Ethan wiped his sweaty palm on his trouser before he extended his hand. “Thank you, Mr. Stanton. Thank you, indeed. I will make your daughter very happy. I promise.”

  Riley shook the young man’s hand. “You had better, Richardson.”

  ***

  Three days later, the carriage stopped in front of the Stanton home. Joseph climbed down from the driver’s seat, and helped Emily down the coach’s two steps.

  Nesmith was waiting to greet her. “Welcome home,” she said, taking the bag from Joseph.

  “Thank you, Nesmith. It’s wonderful to be home again.”

  “Your father wishes to speak with you.”

  Emily’s heart skipped a beat. “He does?” Could that mean Mr. Preston had come to see Papa while she was visiting Mia? “Where is he? I will see him at once.”

  “He’s in his study.”

  Emily rushed into the house and down the hall. The butterflies roiled around her insides. She knocked on the study door. “Papa?”

  “Come in, Emily.” Riley put the papers down he had been studying. He stood and embraced his daughter. “So good to have you home. I have missed you. This old house is very quiet without you.”

  “Oh, Papa, I’ve missed you too. Oh, and Mr. Giles sends his regards.”

  “Did you enjoy your visit?” Riley asked. He sat down in his chair behind the desk.

  “It was a lovely visit. I hadn’t realized how much I missed Mia until I was back in her company, but she is very happy with Mr. Giles. He’s a kind and generous husband. Their home is lovely and Mia is delighted with it.

  “That’s good to hear. Giles is a good man. Emily, please sit down. I have a matter to discuss with you.”

  Emily took a seat, her face expectant for the good news she hoped had arrived. “What matter, Papa?”

  “I had a visit from the young Mr. Richardson the other day. He would like to speak with you in private.”

/>   Emily’s faced paled. “Mr. Richardson?”

  “Yes, who else?” Riley’s brows knitted together at his daughter’s hesitation. “Who were you expecting?”

  Emily felt a stab in her heart. This was not the news she had been expecting. “Papa, I thought it was, um, Mr. Preston who had come to see you.”

  “Mr. Preston? No, I have not spoken to him. Emily, do you realize what this means? Mr. Richardson will propose marriage.”

  Emily stood up, and started pacing her father’s study. “Papa, I don’t want to talk with Mr. Richardson. He’s nice enough, but he’s so dull. Please don’t make me speak with him.”

  Riley’s eyes widened in surprise. This was not the compliant daughter he was used to. “Emily, what has gotten into you? Mr. Richardson will be an excellent choice, and he’s from one of the finest families around. You could not ask for a better match. You will want for nothing. I am in favor of it and you should be too.”

  Emily whirled around to her father. “But, I don’t love Mr. Richardson. I love Mr. Preston. Please, Papa, I know Mr. Preston will speak with you soon, perhaps even at the ball. Please wait for his visit before you make a final decision,” Emily pleaded. Tears were welling in her eyes and threaten to spill down her face. “Please, Papa.”

  Riley stood. He loved his daughter dearly, but she was young and not thinking about this clearly. “Love is not the only foundation for a good marriage. Love alone cannot put food on the table, or warm you in the winter. You must be taken care of financially.”

  “But, Papa, you love Mama.”

  “I do, of course, but I did not when I married her. I greatly admired your mother, and that admiration grew into love. Richardson is a kind, young man who admires you. I’m sure you will grow to love him as you and your mother have.”

  “Papa, please wait. Don’t make me do this.”

  “Emily, enough of your silliness. I want you…” Riley stopped in mid-sentence and grabbed at his waistcoat.

  Emily’s hand flew to her mouth.

  “Pain…” he sputtered, before crashing to his knees.

  She watched in horror as her father crumpled to the floor. She rushed over to his prone body, and picked up his hand. She patted it furiously. “Papa, can you hear me? Papa, please open your eyes.”

  With no response from her father, Emily rushed out of the study into the hallway, calling for anyone who would answer. “Mama! Mrs. Jannell!”

  Mrs. Stanton heard her daughter’s cry, and rushed down the hall. “Emily, what are you shouting about?”

  “It’s Papa. Come quick. He’s collapsed.”

  Catherine ran into her husband’s study, and knelt beside him. He was deathly pale, but his chest still rose with shallow breaths. “Go find Mrs. Jannell. Tell her to send Joseph for the doctor. Quickly, now.”

  Tears streamed down Emily’s face. This was all her fault. She should have never argued with him about Mr. Richardson. She stood by her father, paralyzed with guilt.

  “Emily, go now!”

  She rushed out of the room to find the housekeeper, praying that her beloved Papa wouldn’t die. It was a thought that she could not even comprehend. Her father was her rock. She never saw him as anything, but her strong and loving father.

  Chapter 10

  “His heart is weak,” the doctor said. “He will need to rest. The country would be better for him, but I don’t think he would survive the trip now. Perhaps when he gets stronger.”

  “Of course, doctor. Thank you for coming so quickly,” Catherine said. Worry etched her tired face. It had been a long day waiting for the doctor’s prognosis.

  The doctor picked up his bag, ready to leave. “He must have no excitement; nothing that could possibly induce another attack. Quiet and rest are best.”

  “Yes, I understand. When will he wake?”

  “I’ve given him something to help him sleep. He should awaken tomorrow.”

  “Thank you again, doctor.”

  Emily had pacing back and forth in the parlor for hours. She watched the doctor leave, and rushed upstairs to her father’s bedroom. She knocked lightly on the door before entering. “Mama, may I come in now?” she whispered.

  Catherine walked over, opened the door and pulled her daughter into her arms. “Shhh… he’s sleeping. He must not have any excitement. Let’s go downstairs and have some tea. He needs to rest.”

  “Of course, Mama.” Emily followed her mother out of the bedroom. When they were seated in the parlor, and tea had been served, Emily took a deep breath and began. “Mama, will Papa be well again?”

  “Yes, dear. With time and the proper rest, the doctor said he would recover his strength. His heart is weak, and he must rest.”

  Emily sighed. The emotional turmoil of the past few hours weighed heavily on her.

  “What is it, child?”

  “Oh, Mama, it’s my fault,” she said, losing her composure. Tears fell from her eyes, and great sobs wracked her body.

  Catherine was stunned by Emily’s breakdown. “What? I don’t understand. Dear, how can this be your fault?”

  It was several minutes before Emily could stop sobbing long enough to respond. When she did, the look of sorrow on her face spoke volumes. “I was arguing with Papa about Mr. Richardson, and then he… then he… grabbed his chest and fell to the floor.” Another round of tearful sobs filled the room.

  Catherine pursed her lips. Emily’s confession was too much for her to deal with tonight. She had nearly lost her husband, and her own composure had been severely tested. She did not want to upset Emily any further by talking about this tonight. Tomorrow would be soon enough. “We shall discuss this later.”

  Emily looked up at her mother with red-rimmed eyes; dread seeping into her heart. “Mama, can you ever forgive me? I didn’t mean to hurt Papa.”

  “Emily; enough dear. I think we’ve had enough excitement for today. Why don’t you take your tea and go upstairs now? It’s been a hard day for us and we all could use some rest. Have Nesmith help you into your nightgown.”

  Emily was crestfallen. Her mother’s answer was no comfort, and did nothing to ease her guilt. “Yes, Mama. I shall find her at once.” She kissed her mother’s cheek, picked up her tea and walked out of the parlor and up the stairs in search of her lady’s maid.

  It didn’t take long to find Nesmith. She had been standing close-by in case she was needed. She met Emily at the top of the stairs and took the tea from her shaking hand. “Come on, now. Let’s get you into bed.”

  Emily nodded. Her nerves were raw and she had no energy left.

  Nesmith helped Emily undress, and brushed out her hair. “Do you need anything else?”

  Emily shook her head from side to side. She noticed that even Nesmith wasn’t in her usual, good spirits. The mood of the whole house was somber worrying about Mr. Stanton’s health.

  “Thank you. I’m fine. Good night, Nesmith.”

  The lady’s maid nodded. “Try to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.

  Emily sat and took a sip of her tea. Her mind was reeling with everything that had happened today. She had been in such good spirits when she came home from her visit and everything had spiraled out of control from there. She got up and began to pace her bedroom. How could she have been such an ungrateful daughter? What if Papa dies? Will Mama forgive her? Oh, why did she argue? She could stand the guilt no longer and sat down at her desk to pour out her anguish to Mia.

  My dearest Mia,

  I don’t know how to begin to tell you what has happened. I am beside myself with grief at what I have done. Today, when I arrived home, Papa wanted to speak with me. My heart soared, thinking at long last Mr. Preston had spoken with him. But, it was not Mr. Preston who had paid him a visit. It was Mr. Richardson with a marriage proposal.

  I am terrible daughter, and argued with Papa. I begged him not to make me speak with Mr. Richardson before the last ball. I told him I loved Mr. Preston.

  Mia, how can I tell you the terrible
thing I have caused? Papa grabbed his chest and collapsed. The doctor came, and said he had a weak heart and needed rest.

  Mama was quite distant to me this evening. It must be so difficult for her to believe I was capable of such an awful act. Oh, my dearest friend, what am I to do? It pains me so to see Papa lying so still and Mama so worried. How do I make amends for this? Your wise counsel is greatly needed. Please send your reply as soon as possible.

  In loving friendship,

  Emily

  She sealed her letter, and left it on her desk. She would have to wait until the morning for it to be delivered to Mia. With a heavy heart, she blew out the candle, and climbed into bed. Tears filled her eyes again. It was going to be a long sleepless night of worry.

  ***

  The next morning, Emily sought out Mrs. Jannell herself. She was anxious for the letter to be on its way as quickly as possible.

  “Could you please have Joseph take this letter to Mrs. Giles right away? I am expecting an answer, so ask him to wait while Mrs. Giles pens it.”

  “Yes, Miss Stanton. I will find him straight away.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Jannell. Is Papa’s breakfast ready yet?”

  “It will be ready shortly. Cook is preparing it now.”

  Emily spoke up. “I will take the tray to Papa.”

  Nesmith came down the stairs, surprise written on her face. “Miss Emily? What are you doing up so early?”

  “I wanted to take Papa’s morning tray to him,” she repeated.

  “Nonsense; that’s not something you need worry about. Let’s go upstairs and get you dressed. Then you may visit your father when he awakens,” Nesmith said.

  “OK, thank you, Nesmith.”

  It wasn’t long before Emily was knocking lightly on her father’s door. “Mama, is Papa awake?” she whispered. She listened to the padded footsteps heading toward the door.

  Catherine opened the door. “Emily, dear, he’s not awake yet. I am waiting for him to open his eyes.”