Love by Secrets (A Romance Novella)

by Debra Elizabeth

  Many of the servants were standing outside to greet the young couple. One after another curtsied or bowed, wishing them well.

  Ethan nodded, and thanked them. He led Emily inside, and addressed the young woman standing in the foyer. “Rigal, would you please show Mrs. Richardson to her rooms? The coach ride has been long, and I’m sure she is tired.”

  “Of course, sir.” Rigal curtsied. “Right this way, Ma’am. Would you care for some tea sent up to your rooms as well?”

  “Yes, thank you. That would be lovely,” Emily said. She followed the Lady’s Maid down the long, gallery hall, and finally up the stairs. Her suite was at the end of the wide hallway.

  Rigal opened the door. “Here we are, Mrs. Richardson.”

  Emily went inside, directly into her own, personal sitting room. It was a beautiful room, decorated in shades of light blue and cream. The fireplace was lit, and was throwing off welcoming heat. She walked over to the chaise near the fireplace while looking around and admiring the room. Ethan had done a perfect job of capturing her favorite colors. She sat down, and took off her bonnet and gloves.

  Rigal scooped them up. “May I help you change now, Ma’am, before the tea is brought up?”

  Emily nodded, and followed her into the next room. Her bedchamber was even more beautiful than her parlor. Draperies of blue and cream hung from all sides of her four-poster bed. The fireplace in this room was also lit. “It’s so beautiful,” she said.

  “Indeed it is. Mr. Richardson has spent the past six weeks having it specially prepared for you, Ma’am.”

  “It’s lovely.”

  Rigal helped Emily out of her light-blue wedding dress. She hung it up in the armoire, and pulled out a nightdress. “This is quite beautiful. Did you do all of the embroidery, Ma’am?”

  “Yes, both my mother and I worked on it,” Emily responded. She slipped on the linen nightdress.

  “Shall I comb out your hair, Ma’am?” Rigal asked.

  “No, thank you. I will take care of it a little later.”

  “Very good. The tea is in your sitting room. Will there be anything else this evening?”

  Emily shook her head. “That will be all, thank you. Good night, Rigal.”

  For the first time all day, Emily was alone. She looked in the mirror and began pulling the flowers from her hair. Next it was the pins and she undid the braid letting her hair down. Loose curls cascaded down to the middle of her back. She picked up the brush and started to work out the tangles, but her hand was shaking.

  She hadn’t had time to think about her wedding night all day, but now her nerves were getting the best of her. She put the brush down, and walked back into her parlor. She sat down by the fire and picked up her teacup, hoping it would calm her nerves.

  What have I done? I’ve married the wrong man. I don’t love Mr. Richardson. It was Mr. Preston who stole my heart.

  It was painfully clear that Mr. Preston was not smitten her, but it didn’t stop her from being baffled by his behavior. How could he lead her on like that? Why would he play her like a fool, whispering to her and even going so far as to steal kiss in the night? And why would he write those letters to her?

  She had gracefully declined the invitation to his wedding. She wished the happy couple a long and loving marriage. With each word she wrote in her reply, her heart broke into little pieces. It had certainly not healed in the few weeks between his wedding and her own.

  Beside thoughts of Preston, Emily’s mind reeled with thoughts about the marriage bed. How could she submit to Mr. Richardson when she felt like this about Mr. Preston? Mr. Richardson was indeed a kind man. She desperately wanted to love him, but she didn’t. It would have made things better if she could hate Mr. Preston for what he had done, but she didn’t.

  A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She put her teacup down, and stood. “Come in.”

  The door opened, and Ethan stepped inside. He wore no jacket, and his shirt collar was open. “Good evening, Emily.”

  “Mr. Rich… I mean Ethan, good evening.” Emily clasped her hands in front of her to keep them from shaking. “Um… would you like some tea?”

  Ethan strode over to her and gently kissed her lips. “Yes, that will nice.” He sat down in the chair opposite the chaise while Emily poured the tea.

  “My rooms are beautiful,” she said, handing him the cup.

  “I’m glad you approve. If there is anything…”

  “No, no, they are truly lovely; thank you.” She sat down and picked up her own cup. She took a sip, in the hopes of hiding her nervousness.

  “Your father looked well today. I am glad of it.”

  Emily nodded. “Yes, his strength is nearly fully restored. They will go to the country in a few weeks.”

  “The country air will do him a world of good.”

  Emily nodded. Her stomach clenched and her emotions were threatening to bubble to the top, but she tried hard to clamp them back down. She was married now, and must behave as such. Why was this so hard? It was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Then, why did she feel so miserable?

  Ethan set his cup down on the tray. He stood up, and extended his hand to his new bride. “Would you care to retire, my dear?” he asked.

  Emily stood, but could hold her emotions in check any longer. “Ethan, I must tell you something.” She wrung her hands, and continued. “I only married you because it was my father’s wish. I do not love you. Do what you must.”

  Ethan’s hand dropped to his side. His eyes flashed with hurt and anger. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “I see, Madam. I would never take you against your will. Rest assured, you will not be disturbed tonight.” He gave her a stiff bow, turned on his heel, and strode out of the room.

  Chapter 13

  Ethan stormed down the hall and through the house, bewildered at Emily’s rebuke. Once inside his private study, he poured himself a stiff drink. He drank it down in one gulp, and poured another. With his glass in hand, he paced his study.

  What had he done wrong? Had he not courted her for weeks with the utmost respect before proposing marriage? He had turned her suite of rooms upside down to make sure they were redecorated in her favorite colors. He had done everything he could think of to make her homecoming perfect and this is what he received for his efforts? A bride who will only submit to him because she must? Her rejection stung and he lifted his glass to his lips.

  A light knock at the door stopped him in his tracks. “Yes, come in.”

  His manservant, Gileson, opened the door and walked in. “An urgent letter has just been delivered for you, sir.”

  “Really? Who could be sending me a letter on my wedding night?” Ethan asked, as he took the letter from the tray. He broke the seal, and read the contents. His face paled, and he took a deep breath before addressing Gileson.

  “Please give orders to have my stallion saddled immediately. I must ride to London.”

  “Yes, sir. Shall I assist you in dressing?”

  “No, I can manage. I will be outside in a moment.”

  Gileson bowed, and left the study to inform the groomsman of Ethan’s order.

  Ethan put his glass down on the desk. He raced out of the study and up to his bedchamber. He quickly pulled on his jacket, and grabbed his cloak for the chilly ride to London. He also grabbed his money pouch.

  “This will have to be enough for now,” he murmured. He flew down the stairs and out the front door. He jumped on his horse, and galloped down the drive.

  ***

  Emily heard a horse neigh outside.

  “Who could be visiting at such a late hour?”

  She went to her window, but could only see a figure receding into the darkness. She turned away, not giving it another thought. She picked up her wedding reticule, and pulled out the linen handkerchief. A slip of paper fluttered to the floor. She bent down, and picked it up.

  My darling Emily,

  How wonderful to feel you in my arms

  The
touch of your sweet lips on mine

  I have cherished you from the first moment

  Our eyes met

  For you are my one and only Bright Star.

  With love always, Ethan

  Emily gasped. Oh, no! What had she done? It was Ethan who had written the letters all along. How could she not have known that? His shy smiles, his concern with her father’s health now loomed large in her mind. What a foolish, young girl she had been. How could she have let herself be swept away with whispers and stolen kisses, when the man who truly loved her had stood gallantly nearby. She was humiliated by her behavior earlier.

  She clutched the letter to her breast. “Oh Ethan, can you ever forgive me? It was you I fell in love with all along.” She had to fix her mistake and rushed to the door. She threw it open and raced down the hall in search of her husband.

  When she reached his room, she knocked frantically on the door, but there was no sound from within. “Mr. Richardson, please open the door. I must speak with you,” she pleaded. Still, no answer.

  She turned away and tried to think of where he might be. Perhaps in his study? But, where was it? She had not had a chance to see the layout of the house before she retired to her rooms. She could only hope that one of the servants could direct her. She went back down the hall and descended the stairs.

  “Mrs. Richardson, do you require something?” Gileson asked.

  The sound of the manservant’s voice startled her, and she grabbed the banister for support. “Um, yes. I’m looking for Mr. Richardson. Could you please tell him I must speak with him urgently?”

  “I’m sorry, Ma’am, but Mr. Richardson is not here.”

  “What do you mean he’s not here? Where is he?”

  “He’s gone to London.”

  A feeling of dread raced up Emily’s spine. “London? When will he return?”

  “I’m sorry, Ma’am. He did not say. Will there be anything else?”

  Emily’s bottom lip started to quiver. She forced herself to maintain her composure in front of the servant. “No, thank you.” She turned and went back up the stairs.

  By the time she reached her room, the tears were flowing down her face. She went to the small box sitting on her desk, and brought it over to the chaise. She sat down and took the stack of letters out. She lovingly traced her finger over each one.

  “Ethan, please come back to me. I have been so cruel to you. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. You must allow me to make up for my horrible behavior.”

  ***

  Ethan rode the stallion hard. The letter from Colby had sounded urgent. He didn’t want to think about what he had meant by “dire consequences.” Mile after mile sped by as Ethan rode toward London. Between Colby’s letter and Emily’s rejection, his mind was racing with all kinds of possibilities, and not any of them good.

  The sun was beginning to rise when he finally reached the gambling house. He jumped off the horse in front of the seedy establishment that he had found Colby in before. A young boy scrambled up from the curb.

  “Watch your horse, sir?”

  Ethan threw the boy a copper. “Keep an eye on him. I’ll be right back.”

  The boy snatched up the coin. “Yes, sir.”

  Ethan raced into the smoked-filled room. His eyes needed a moment to adjust to the darkened interior. The smell of sweat and stale ale assaulted his senses. He strode toward the table at the back of the room, where he had paid Colby’s last debt. Four men sat at the table.

  “I’m looking for Tisbury. Have any of you seen him?”

  Cold, hard eyes turned toward him. “He’s not here.”

  “Any knowledge of where I might find him?” Ethan asked the man who had spoken.

  “Look toward the ridge. Debts are settled in more than one way.”

  Horror filled Ethan’s mind. A duel. Colby, why couldn’t you have waited? You fool!

  He turned on his heel, and rushed out to the street. The boy was there, as promised. Ethan threw him another coin, and jumped on his horse. He pulled the reins hard to the right, and galloped down the street heading toward the ridge on the outskirts of town.

  He pushed the horse harder, and finally reached the ridge. He looked around, trying to spot his cousin. Voices floating on the air caught his attention. He urged his horse toward them. In the clearing below stood Colby and another man, each with a second standing off to the side.

  “Ten paces, gentlemen. Turn and shoot.”

  Ethan jumped off the horse. “Stop! Stop the duel,” he screamed into the still morning air.

  “Fire.”

  The gunfire stopped Ethan short. He stared in horror as Colby wobbled before collapsing, a red spot growing on his white shirt. He rushed to his cousin, and fell to the ground next to him. He took Colby’s head in his lap. “Colby, hang on. I’m here now.”

  “Cousin, you came,” Colby sputtered.

  “Shhh… don’t talk.” Ethan looked up at the men watching the scene. “Give me something to stop the blood flow and go get the surgeon!” No one was moving until he screamed. “What are you waiting for? Go!”

  A young man Ethan did not recognize jumped on his horse, and rode off. Ethan could only hope he brought the surgeon back in time to save Colby.

  Ethan pointed to Colby’s second. “You over there. Grab Colby’s jacket, and press it here to help staunch the blood.”

  The other man, the one that had fired the shot, stood watching Ethan. “It was a fair shoot.”

  “You could have waited,” Ethan said. “I would have settled his debt.”

  The other man shrugged his shoulders. “It was his choice.” He retrieved his jacket from his second. They mounted their horses, and rode off.

  “Hang on, Colby. The surgeon is coming.”

  Chapter 14

  Ethan paced back and forth in the Tisbury parlor, nearly wearing a path in the plush carpet. He had been holding vigil for his cousin for the past five days. Fortunately, Colby had survived the initial gunshot. The surgeon had removed the bullet that was lodged in his upper chest. It had narrowly missed both his heart and his main artery. Unfortunately, he had lost a lot of blood at the scene, and now fought for his life in an upstairs bedroom.

  Footsteps made Ethan turn toward the doorway. His aunt came into the room. An air of exhaustion surrounded her. Her eyes were puffy from shedding too many tears. He quickly went to her. “Aunt Mary, how is he?”

  “The doctor has bled him again in the hopes of ridding him of the infection. He has done all that he can. We must pray that the wound doesn’t fester any longer. If he survives the next two days, he should recover.”

  Ethan nodded in understanding, and embraced the older woman. “He’s strong. Let us remember that. Come, sit down. You have worn yourself out with your vigil. Shall I call for some tea?”

  Mary walked over to the table, and picked up the bell.

  The maid appeared almost immediately. “Yes, Lady Tisbury?”

  “Please bring us some tea and refreshments.”

  The maid curtsied, and scurried out of the room.

  Ethan sat down with his aunt, trying his best to comfort her. “I’m sorry I did not reach him in time. A few seconds less, and none of this would have happened.”

  Mary patted Ethan’s hand. “This is not your fault, dear boy; none of it. You have done more than any man should. This rests squarely on my son. I can only hope that his lust for gambling will finally be satisfied.”

  “Yes, I hope for that as well.”

  “Ethan, your presence comforts me greatly, but you must return to your new bride. Your place is at her side.”

  A grimace passed over Ethan’s face. He pushed a lock of his hair off his forehead to stall, as he composed himself before answering. “I will stay with you until Colby is out of danger. I’m sure Mrs. Richardson will understand.”

  The maid brought a tray of tea and biscuits. “Will there be anything else, Lady Tisbury?”

  “No, thank you. That is all for now.”
>
  After having tea with his aunt, Ethan made his way upstairs to his cousin’s bedroom. He let himself into the room, and walked over to the bed. He sat down in the chair at his cousin’s bedside. Colby lay unmoving against the pillows.

  Ethan reached out, and laid a hand upon his cousin’s arm. “Colby, can you hear me?”

  Colby stirred, and opened heavy-lidded eyes. “Hello, cousin.” His voice was weak, and came out as barely a whisper. “I see I’m still alive.”

  That brought a chuckle to Ethan. “Yes, indeed you are. No thanks to you though.”

  “How long have I lain here?”

  “Five days now, but the surgeon is confident you will live. He has removed the bullet.”

  “Good to know.”

  “You need to rest and regain your strength. And Colby…”

  “I know, cousin; I know. No lectures, please.”

  Ethan nodded. Perhaps his cousin’s lust for gambling had finally been satisfied. Getting shot will do that to a man. He could only hope that was the case. He didn’t know how much more stress his aunt and uncle could take especially when it came to Colby and his gambling. He continued to embarrass the family, and Lord Tisbury was reaching his breaking point with his antics.

  “Rest now. I’ll come back later to see you.

  Colby nodded and closed his eyes, sleep overtaking him almost immediately.

  ***

  Emily had spent the last ten days getting to know the staff, and learning her way around the mansion and grounds. She was trying to maintain her composure around the servants, but her nerves were fraying. She wished that Ethan would return or even send her word of his whereabouts. Where had he gone? Her mind whirled with the consequences of her foolishness. She had acted selfishly on her wedding night, and had seen the hurt in Ethan’s eyes. Her words had caused him immense pain. How could she have done that to him? No wonder he had left her.

  There had been no word from him since that night, and she did not know when he would return, if ever. She was so ashamed of her actions that she had not told a soul, not even Mia, what she had done. All she wanted was a chance to make up to her husband for her mistake, and to once again see the love in his eyes. He had been her champion all along, and she hadn’t seen it. She’d been dazzled by all the wrong things. What a foolish girl she had been. She could only hope to fix things going forward.