Relief washed through her. She grasped at his offer and nodded.
Inhaling deeply, he rose and motioned to the other end of the table. “Will you eat with me?”
He helped her to her seat. She watched as he uncovered the platters then served them both. Such a normal courtesy, one reserved for the Na’Reish, not her. Until Kalan. He made her feel special. Cared for. Human.
Annika ate what he placed on her plate but never tasted the food. Her mind was reeling, replaying the words in the note she still clasped in one hand. She barely heard Kalan recounting the events of his afternoon, the trip he’d made to the merchant to purchase the supplies sitting on the other end of the table.
It wasn’t until she lay in her bed, hours after the meal finished, staring up into the darkness, that she realized what he’d done.
He’d given her his friendship. He’d accepted her.
And by doing so, he’d laid his soul bare.
For her.
Fingers clenching in the covers, Annika sat up. The strange vulnerability on his face and in his eyes had been fear. The fear of being rejected.
She cringed. How could she not have recognized the emotion? He’d left himself vulnerable in the most terrible of ways. Why would he do such a thing?
Her skin heated then goose bumps broke out over her body. She wrapped her arms around her knees and rocked. Forcing her lungs to take a calming breath she dared think of what his friendship meant. Acceptance.
Should she believe Kalan?
Could she trust him?
What was the alternative? Even without conjuring details, her future appeared bleak but an offer of friendship made it seem less lonely.
She reached under the pillow where Kalan’s letter lay. As her fingertips touched the parchment she heard his voice reciting the words contained on it. The emotions behind them stuck in her mind and from them sprang a warmth that spread rapidly through her.
It brought to life a dream she’d only ever dared think about in the dead of night when there’d been no one watching, no one to see the longing on her face or the color of her eyes.
The darkness and silence of her room made it too easy to be tempted. Reality tended to destroy dreams and beautiful words written on paper. Had done it so many times she’d lost count. But she felt like a moth drawn to a candle flame. Just this once she wanted to know what it would be like to push aside all doubt and fear.
Before her courage deserted her, Annika slid from her bed and padded on silent feet to Kalan’s room. He’d left his door open and there was enough light from the dying fire in the outer chamber to see that he slept. He lay on his back, the blankets draped over his body, where they twisted and tangled around his legs, testament to the fact that he’d tossed and turned before falling asleep.
She took a deep breath at the image he made lying there. Wavering shadows threw his handsome face into sharp relief. Even a day’s growth of beard couldn’t suppress the compelling power and strength of his features.
Just looking at him filled her with such longing. Her shoulders slumped. She could no longer deny she wanted whatever he would give her. A friendship. A future. A life instead of a dream.
You’re weak, just like your mother! Savyr’s condemnation tore through her.
A small sound caught in the back of her throat. Kalan stirred, as if the soft noise had woken him. Long lashes flickered opened and he glanced toward the doorway.
“Annika?” His sleep-roughened voice hit her low in the gut. “Is something wrong?”
She couldn’t speak. He sat up, his bare chest and an enticing patch of naked hip revealed as the covers slid to his lap. She tried to swallow and couldn’t, her mouth suddenly dry. Every instinct screamed at her to go back to her room but she couldn’t make her feet move.
“How can you give someone the power to hurt you?” she asked, hoarsely. “In that letter you gave me the perfect weapon. You knew I was angry at you for not telling me who you were, yet you did it anyway.”
Kalan reached for the striker sitting next to a candle on the small table by his bedside. He lit it and she moved to the end of the bed, to where he could see her face in the small circle of light.
“You take a risk any time you tell someone you care for them.” His voice was soft as he propped his arms up on raised knees. “But what’s the alternative? Denying yourself friendship? Happiness? Something more?
“Yes, I gave you the perfect weapon for retribution against me. I’m frightened my actions have hurt you too much to forgive me, but I’m more afraid of denying myself the chance of knowing what might happen between us.”
Her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands. She stared down at the foot of his bed only half seeing the intricately carved workmanship of the wooden posts as what he said resonated in her soul.
“I felt like such a fool in that Council chamber.” Her voice quavered. “I kept asking myself how I missed seeing who you were. I thought of all those questions I’d asked you about the Lady’s Chosen, of how I was going to beg him for sanctuary because I didn’t think your word would be enough for him to see past the markings on my face… and all that time, I was already speaking to him…”
“I’m sorry, Annika.” His soft apology snapped her head back. His gaze met hers, remorse shining in their depths. “It was hypocritical of me to accuse you of deception when I was doing the same thing.”
She shook her head, the last of her anger dying with his misunderstanding. “I understand why you never told me who you were, Kalan. Had you been found out my father would’ve used you.” Speaking that aloud brought goose bumps to her skin.
A frown creased his brow. “Then why… I don’t understand—”
“Merciful Mother, I drank blood in front of you!” The words slipped from her before she could stop them. “You, of all people!” Shame writhed under her skin. She took a small step back into the shadows, too afraid of what he’d see in her face.
His gaze sharpened and she knew she’d moved too late.
“You saw me at my worst, too, Annika. I lied and also almost killed you.” He issued a frustrated sigh and raked a hand through his hair. “As much as this might sound strange, I wouldn’t change what happened out on the trail. It gave us the opportunity to get to know the real Annika and Kalan. An identity would have hidden all that.”
How many times had she wished for anonymity treating the human-slaves in her father’s fortress without the title of Na’Chi hanging over her head? As much as she still felt uncomfortable with past events, his words held the truth. She’d never have let herself get to know Kalan the man with a title in the way.
“Hesia was right. The real test of a person is whether they can see past the names and labels.” His gaze was steady. “I’ve seen you. You laugh, you fear, you cry, you love. You’re as human as me, Na’Chi.”
Her heart jolted so hard she was sure he heard it as they stared at one another across the distance separating them. His words resurrected her midnight dream and breathed life into it. He made her feel like somebody of worth.
He truly was the flame, and she the moth. The soft fabric of the bedcovers brushed against her bare legs as she stepped back into the candlelight.
“I’m tired of being alone, of feeling cold and empty all the time.” Inhaling a deep breath, Annika trusted him to understand. “I’ve always had to stand back and watch others live normal lives, sharing their love and wanting the same, yearning for it so hard that sometimes it felt like a knife in my gut…” She pressed a hand to her stomach, then locked her gaze with him so he would see the truth in her heart. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
Annika’s courageous words sucked the breath right out of Kalan and shook him to the core. With the life she’d led, and facing an uncertain future, she forged through situations that would have broken a lesser person.
“My friendship is yours.” An unhurried smile curved his lips. “I haven’t changed my mind about that, Annika.”
Her to
ngue darted out to wet her lips as her chin lifted. “And if I want more than that?”
Desire slammed through him so fast it took his breath away. He’d never have believed her inner strength could arouse him like that but beneath the covers he was already half hard.
He liked the way her eyes widened as she caught his scent. It was tempting to reach over and pull her onto the bed but he knew how important choice was to her. Slowly, he lay down on his side and propped his head on one hand.
“There’s space here if you don’t want to return to your room,” he said, and patted the vacant half of the bed beside him.
She knelt on the edge of his mattress, her thighs barely covered by the shirt. Her hands clenched on her thighs as she stared down at him with one of the most vulnerable expressions on her face that he’d ever seen.
“I want to make love to you.” Her gaze stayed level with his, the blue flecks in her eyes ringed with green. She wanted him, no doubt, no hesitation. She reached out to touch him, her fingertips brushing his lips. The sensation shot straight to his groin. “Show me how.”
Chapter 20
ANNIKA’S demand had Kalan unable to breathe. She was surrendering herself to his care in the most intimate of ways and he marveled at the courage and strength it had to have taken to ask that of him. The level of trust it took to do that… something inside him softened, expanded.
“It would be my pleasure.” He caught her fingers in his lips and nibbled them, enjoying the startled look on her face. Encircling her wrist, he turned it over and placed a kiss on the palm of her hand. Her fingers curved over his cheek and her lips parted slightly.
He was going to enjoy showing her the love capable between a man and woman. His thumb stroked the inside of her wrist as he let his gaze move slowly over her. “Anytime you want to stop, just tell me and I will.”
“And give up my dream?” The flecks in her eyes were a solid green.
He tugged at the hem of her shirt, and her lips met his halfway as she bent down to kiss him. He nibbled along her bottom lip then traced it with his tongue. Her mouth parted eagerly, a soft, breathy moan coming from her as his tongue darted between them. He retreated before she could capture it with her own. Her fingers tangled in his hair and he smiled as she took control.
He was more than happy to let her dictate the pace. Over the next few minutes her confidence grew. She deepened the kiss, her tongue flickering against his, teasing, stroking, her lips sliding against his. His body was tight, held in check, when she finally drew back so they both could draw in some much needed air.
Kalan smoothed a hand along her leg, from knee to hip. “As much as I like you in my shirt, I’d rather see it on the floor.” She blinked at his gently delivered statement. Her gaze dipped and she swallowed hard, and for half a heartbeat he thought she wouldn’t do it. Then, slowly, she pulled it over her head and lay on her side facing him.
In the candlelight, her skin took on a tawny hue, her honey colored hair swayed and settled over her curves like a living cloak. Through the long strands, he caught a provocative glimpse of rounded breasts and nipples peaked in the cold then his gaze moved lower, past her lean waist to curved hips and the hairless curves of her feminine mound.
He inhaled deeply and a sweet, musky scent teased his nose. “I’m not Na’Chi but I know you’re aroused. I wonder if you taste as good as you smell?”
Her fingers curled into fists, an endearing betrayal of her nervousness. “You make me burn.” Her voice was husky. “You love someone with your words.”
“It heightens the pleasure.” He reached out to smooth her hair back from her face, flicking the silken lengths over her shoulder. Her breasts rose and fell in shallow breaths as his hand roamed from shoulder to hip and back again. “I love the feel of your skin, so smooth and silky. Firm here…” His fingers trailed across her abdomen. “Soft there…” He curled them around her breast, loving the warmth and weight of her flesh in his hand as he caressed her.
“That feels so good…” Annika moaned and her body arched into his touch as if seeking more. Her nipple seemed to burn a brand in the palm of his hand as he rubbed it lightly back and forth.
“It feels good to me, too.” A wicked grin curved his lips as her gaze darted from his face then lower. Even though the blanket covered his hips it did little to hide his arousal. The delicate flush on her cheeks gave him pleasure. “Roll onto your stomach.”
She trembled and closed her eyes. “Kalan… I don’t think—”
“Trust me,” he whispered, disliking the tremor in her voice, hating how such a confident woman had been made to feel ashamed of her body.
Annika hesitated a moment, then complied, pillowing her head on her hands. Her show of faith added to the fire burning in his blood. He sat up and pushed aside the blanket then straddled her hips, tucking his legs in either side of her. She lay tense and stiff beneath him. Something he hoped to remedy shortly.
Holding his weight on his hands, he leant over her, bringing his hips in contact with hers, holding back a groan as his arousal pressed against the gentle swell of her buttocks. His mouth brushed the curve of her ear. “Feel what you do to me, Na’Chi.” He moved his hips gently against her. “I’m hard, and hot… just this with only a few kisses.”
“Kalan…” Her head turned.
He tangled a hand in her hair to hold her still and placed light kisses along the side of her face, following the trail of skin markings over the curve of her neck, the muscle of her shoulder then took his time teasing and tasting the dips and hollows of her back, alternating between the two sides, loving her with every nip and caress of his lips.
“You taste so sweet, Annika.” An intriguing dimple at the base of her spine earned his close attention. She squirmed beneath him. “I could spend all night loving you like this.”
He smoothed his hands over her back, felt her muscles ripple with his touch, then stroked the firm flesh of her buttocks and thighs with his hands. The scent of her arousal was stronger, and she moved restlessly, no longer tense.
“More?” he asked, his fingers tracing the outline of each mark high on her thigh in teasing swirls.
“Yes…” The word was a long drawn-out moan.
He continued his gentle seduction, placing more kisses along the spotted trails, working his way down from her hips to her thighs then to the back of her legs. Her moans were louder by the time he reached her ankles where the markings faded.
“Roll over again.” This time there was no hesitation and he sat back on his haunches. He nudged her legs apart with his knees. The sight of her spread out on his bed, her body flushed with arousal, her eyes that incredible blue, made his heart pound harder in his chest. “I have never seen anything so beautiful. You take my breath away.”
Again Kalan took the weight of his body on his hands but this time he gradually lowered himself until he lay on top of her, so that her pebbled nipples pressed into his chest and he fit into the welcoming cradle of her hips. He hissed at the delicious friction of skin sliding on skin. Her hands threaded through his hair and she devoured him in a deep, tongue-thrusting kiss that sent him close to the edge.
Annika delighted in the feel of Kalan lying on top of her. She felt surrounded by him, cherished. Safe. The weight of him, the hard planes of his body pressed flush against her created a delicious ache that centered low in her body. His heavy, spicy scent saturated her lungs and it added to the flames licking her flesh as his hands caressed her. She rocked her hips against him, gasped as his erection rubbed against her core. Her body responded with a rush of delicious heat.
Kalan’s groan came from deep inside his chest, his breath hot on her face as he broke their kiss. “You’re so wet.”
Another deliberate slide. This time she cried out, her fingers digging into the solid muscles of his shoulders. He made her burn, and it wasn’t just physical. Kalan was sharing himself with her, hiding nothing. The look in his eyes, the way he caressed her, the kisses, his tender words.
She knew he wanted her and the feeling was mutual. It shook her all the way to her soul.
Kalan’s hand moved between their bodies, his fingers finding and carefully parting her flesh to explore her slick folds. Annika closed her eyes as he stroked her. Anticipation built with the slow slide of his mouth along the column of her throat. As his lips reached her breast and his tongue flickered out to tease her hardened nipple, the tip of his finger grazed her core. She cried out as exquisite pleasure drew tight inside her and threatened to erupt.
Not knowing what to do next, but needing something more than just this agonizing torment of heated kisses and fiery touches, she curved one leg around his flexing hip. “Kalan, please—”
“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice was a guttural growl against her breast.
Opening her eyes, she placed her hands both sides of his head, liking the fire and need burning in his gaze. “I trust you.”
She moaned as his mouth covered hers. The fierceness of his kiss stole her breath. He gripped her hips and the tip of his erection parted her slick folds. Instinctively, her hips tilted upward. His gaze locked with hers, dark and hungry, then he slid into her in one, deep thrust. She couldn’t look away even as the sharp, burning sensation tore a cry from her, and for a moment it overrode the pleasure she felt being so closely joined with him.
Kalan paused, his arms trembling with the effort to hold still to give her time to get used to him rather than thrust into her again and again as his body was demanding. “Mother of Mercy, I’m sorry, Annika.” He shuddered. “You’re so tight and hot.”
Her eyelids flickered, the blue in her gaze almost silver. She smoothed a hand over his cheek. “I’m a healer, Kalan, I knew to expect the pain.”
She shifted beneath him, as if testing the new sensations. Her inner muscles flexed and rippled, gripping him in an intimate caress that he felt right to his bones. He shuddered. A ragged groan tore from his chest.
Vengeance Born (The Light Blade #1) Page 21