1 Dicey Grenor

by Grenor, Dicey

  Aaron stayed seated as well.

  When our eyes met, he looked down. Naturally.

  I folded my arms and pursed my lips. Whatever.

  Dr. Floyd walked over to Aaron first. They chatted, Dr. Floyd slapped Aaron on the back all brotherly-like, and Aaron left.

  When Dr. Floyd approached me, we embraced momentarily then I told him I was interested in participating in the new narcolepsy clinical case study he’d mentioned last week and asked me to think about. It was time to get on the ball, to find a cure for my curse. I’d been thinking about taking a break from cure-seeking endeavors since my human body had habituated to several drugs, and I hadn’t responded to human drugs at all since I’d been undead. All the visits to his office had started becoming a nuisance since there had not been any favorable results.

  I had to keep trying though. I needed a cure, and sooner would be better.

  Given the episode he’d just witnessed, Dr. Floyd didn’t seem surprised by my answer. He knew me well enough to know that although I wasn’t embarrassed about falling asleep, I absolutely abhorred being weakened by it. What he didn’t know was that it crippled me more as a vampire than as a human. It could be the difference between being a predator and becoming prey. Having narcolepsy as a human meant I might hurt myself. As a vampire, it meant I was always one step from my final death whether by someone hard-up for cash or the sun itself.

  And I couldn’t have that.

  When he asked how I’d been coping, I met his wise, compassionate eyes and wished I could tell him the truth. His salt-n-pepper hair and deep wrinkles showed years of study and experience, which meant he’d probably be able to help me better if he knew the full story. But even as my therapist, I couldn’t risk him upholding patient/client confidentiality when it came to me being a vampire.

  So I smiled and lied. Everything’s great, blah, blah, blah. We scheduled a time to meet later and I left, walking through the glass doors out into the light rain and darkness.

  Preparing for my walk home, I pulled my hood over my head.

  “Willow,” a low yet startling voice spoke beside me.

  I jumped.

  Given my keen senses, I was rarely surprised—but in my defense—Aaron had called to me as soon as I opened the door and stepped out.

  “Thought you left,” I said while zipping my jacket.

  He ran a trembling hand over the top of his wet head. “No, I waited for you.” Poor thing didn’t have a hood or umbrella.

  “What d’ya want?” I said coldly. He couldn’t wait to get away from me while we were inside. Now he was waiting for me out in the rain?

  “Can I drive you back to your motel?” he said in that low voice, eyes downward.

  Motel, huh. This was too weird. It was Remi, but not.

  “So how much do you know about me?” I said. And hell no to the ride.

  “Not much. I don’t think Remi knows much about you, but you’re all he ever writes about.”

  “What did he write exactly?”

  He tucked a stray lock of wet hair behind his ear. “That he sees you every Saturday night at some fetish club. He also mentioned you walk everywhere, and that he followed you to your motel. I imagine it’s difficult to drive with narcolepsy.” He glanced up to gauge my reaction. I shrugged. “Willow, let’s get out of the rain. Let me give you a ride,” he said.

  I honestly didn’t care about being wet, but I was curious about how much Aaron differed from Remi. I mean, how often did one find out the person they’d known had multiple personalities?

  “Is that all he wrote about me?” I said.

  He blushed. “No. He also writes about you and him…doing stuff.”

  I smiled. Remi would never have blushed about that.

  This was becoming mildly entertaining. With all the supernaturals and their special gifts I’d met over the years, Aaron was quite possibly the most fascinating person yet. He was a gorgeous man with mesmerizing eyes and was thoroughly whacked in the head…

  “Sure, Aaron. I’d love a ride.”

  Chapter 14

  “A Supreme Love” by John Coltrane was playing nice and mellow-like through the silver Jaguar XJL speakers. The smooth music and laid-back car were both evidence that Remi and Aaron were night and day.

  Leaning my seat back, I found myself relaxing and enjoying the tune and the peaceful company. I glanced at Aaron. He was looking at the road…smiling. When he caught me looking, the smile disappeared.

  “He never mentioned you liked Coltrane. Bet y’all don’t play anything like that at the club,” he said.

  “Franco let’s us use any music we like. There’s just no easy way to slip in supreme love during our fetish performances.”

  “That’s why I wouldn’t go there. A fetish is something weird you gotta have to get off right?”

  “More or less.”

  “Doesn’t apply to me then. Only thing I need is love and that’s not weird. Love is my fetish.”

  “So you’re in love?” Fuck me—I was jealous.

  “Not exactly. Dating doesn’t work out well for me. I just wish I was in love.”

  Dating didn’t work out well for Remi either. They had that in common. I’m sure it couldn’t be easy to tell a girl oh, by the way, I’m actually several people. At least Aaron could leave off the part about liking death…or could he?

  “You’re not a necrophiliac?” I said.

  He looked at me like I’d grown two more arms. “God, no. That’s disgusting.” Then he realized what he’d said. “No offense, Willow. It’s just not me.”

  “None taken. I just perform for them.”

  “But how can you do that? Isn’t that just as bad?”

  Good point. “Yeah, I guess so.” I turned away from him and looked out the window. Performing necrophilia shows was the least of my problems.

  “I don’t mean to sound judgmental. I’m just trying to understand you. I mean, I’ve been curious about who you are for the longest. Why do work there if you—”

  “I’m good at it and I like pleasing people like Remi. That’s why.” That was a question I was used to answering. Even my patrons couldn’t understand why I did it.

  He popped a handful of tic-tacs in his mouth and offered me some, which I declined. It made me realize another difference between them.

  “You don’t smoke?” I said. He shook his head. “How can you stand for Remi to?”

  “I have to make certain concessions to keep him happy. How can you stand Remi smoking?”

  I smiled. “Guess we both want Remi happy. So what concessions does he make for you?”

  “He only gets Saturday.”

  Huh. That had to be tough for Remi. He only got one day and night a week…and he chose to spend most of it with me.

  We talked more about jazz and then more about Hades. It was definitely not the conversation-less ride I’d had with Remi.

  I wondered how long before I stopped comparing the two.

  When we got to my room, I didn’t hesitate to invite him in. Why? How the hell should I know? I was just going with the feeling, and it felt good talking to him, being around him.

  When I turned on the bedside lamp, he looked around until his eyes landed on the heavily-padded window. “Can’t take sunlight?” he said.

  “I like it dark.”

  After tossing him a terrycloth robe and a towel, I went into the bathroom to change out of my own wet clothes.

  “Remi asked me to move in with him, which is weird because technically I’d be moving in with you,” I yelled from the bathroom.

  “I know.”

  “How in the world was that going to work?”

  “I don’t know, but he threatened to go rogue if I didn’t give in. He wants you badly.”

  It almost felt like Remi was speaking of himself in third person, but he wasn’t. It was Aaron’s softer, lower voice coming through the bathroom door.

  “You’ve actually been good for him, kept him out of a lot of trouble. He’s
a bad boy, Willow.”

  “Don’t I know it,” I chuckled. “Was I just supposed to wake up next to him one morning and you’d be there? Was I not supposed to notice the difference?” I exited the bathroom in my satin blue pajamas, proud that I was well-covered.

  He was sitting in the desk chair by the window with his wet clothes on hangers dangling from the heater. What I noticed most was his toned, hairy legs escaping under the bottom of the robe. I’d never seen his legs.

  “The deal we made was that he’d explain everything about himself, about me, to you and if after full disclosure you agreed, then fine. I knew no girl in her right mind would go for that, but he seems to think you’re different. That you care for him and accept him.” He tugged on the hem of the robe self-consciously as if I was staring. I dropped my eyes so he’d be more comfortable. “Do you care for him?” he asked.

  Guess Remi would have spilled the beans about Aaron if Max hadn’t shown up while we were in the diner. “Yes. I do.” I held up my index finger and thumb to indicate just how much and we laughed.

  “He’s right. You are different. Not many girls would invite a stranger to her bedroom after knowing he was clinically insane.”

  Naw, I wasn’t worried. “You don’t feel like a stranger to me. And I’ve always known Remi was off his damn rocker.” Plus, I’d drain you dry before you could say hubba-bubba if I had to.

  And suddenly I wanted to do just that. I turned away in a hurry and focused on the blank wall, willing myself to calm down. Since I’d already fed today, it wasn’t an overwhelming urge so it didn’t take me long to get it together.

  “Please don’t hurt him. I meant what I said about you keeping him out of trouble. I don’t know what he’d do if he lost you,” he said in his serious, soft tone.

  Feeling better, I sat on the edge of the bed. I still didn’t trust myself to be all up in his grill yet. “He mentioned he was kidnapped. I guess that means you were taken.”

  He leaned forward and put his elbows on both knees. “I was.”

  “When you were six.”

  “Yes. Remi saved me.”

  “How?”

  “He killed my kidnapper.”

  Chapter 15

  Whoa. Remi had killed someone? I was a vampire and I hadn’t even done that.

  “Don’t be afraid of him, Willow. He’d never hurt you.” He scratched his head. “He loves you.”

  “He’s said that. He’s also said he’s fantasized about killing me.”

  “I said he wouldn’t hurt you. I didn’t say he wasn’t sick.”

  True.

  Silence.

  It was awkward. This whole thing had me unhinged. I was trying to absorb it all, be cool with it…

  “He never mentioned you were black,” he said.

  Here we go… “Is that a problem?”

  “Not at all. Just funny he never described you physically. I wouldn’t have been able to keep myself from doing so.”

  I smiled. “You’re attracted to me?”

  He blushed. Adorable. “I think you’re beautiful. The color of your skin, the sound of your voice, the way you smile…it’s all amazing.”

  Remi had described different features. “How can you tell? You never look at me. Remi stares and you look at the floor,” I mumbled.

  He raised his eyes to mine. Ah. There. Simply divine. Still metallic blue, but less edgy, more guarded. From this angle, puppy-doggish—the kind you saw in the window and no matter where you were headed, you stopped and bought him.

  “I’m just shy,” he said.

  Shy was okay. I could deal with shy.

  “Which one of you added the permanent decoration to your wrists? Remi?” I said.

  “No. He’s not suicidal. That was Emmanuel. Twice. And once with a bottle of pills. Crazy bastard stays depressed. I hate when he shows up. Page after page of gloom and doom—”

  “—Wait a friggin’ minute. How many are there?”

  “Ten. That I know of.” I stared at him incredulously. He dropped his eyes, shutting himself down again. “I can leave if you want me to. I’m laying a lot on you…and I don’t even know why. I’ve never shared this much with anyone other than my shrinks.”

  I continued staring. Ten different personalities?

  He made a move to get up then settled down again. “I don’t want to go, Willow.”

  “Now you sound like Remi.”

  “He says you’re not judgmental. I could use a friend like that.”

  “Not my place to judge.” I’d grown up with enough people who felt they had a direct link to God. Incidentally, that gave them the green light to judge and condemn everyone else. I’d pass on that. “Tell me about your personalities.”

  He did.

  Turns out, Remi wasn’t the homicidal one, Vlad was—a Russian assassin, to be exact. Remi was Aaron’s protector, the one he couldn’t live without. There was a girl, a homosexual, and a six-year-old Aaron in there somewhere. Of everyone, those were the ones who stood out to me most. His descriptions of them were light and humorous which made the whole discussion less creepy.

  He truly was fascinating.

  And that diary of theirs would be one hell of a read.

  The real clincher was when he exhaled and thanked me for letting him get it all off his chest. It was the first time he’d been real. The first time, outside a clinical setting, he’d opened up about who he was. The first time he’d felt free to be himself without the threat of freaking someone out. He’d learnt the hard way that people didn’t understand him and didn’t want to. Aaron’s own father had rewarded his uniqueness with a few years in a home for the mentally ill. Didn’t visit him either. Helped Aaron realize he was a misfit, an outcast…insane.

  Like he’d asked to be kidnapped when he was young.

  I felt privileged he’d shared so much about himself. Considering how little he knew about me, it was a major milestone on his part. Made me an impostor since I was pretending to be a human whose only issue was narcolepsy. I’d even spun my job at Hades as something I did out of kindness for society’s sexual deviants, like it was a community service project. I allowed him to believe I was the poster-girl for an after-school special when in reality, I was anything but.

  I envied his willingness to be vulnerable.

  Before I knew it, it was close to six in the morning. We’d spent all night talking. He had moved to the bed at some point and we lay side-by-side on our bellies, hoisted on our elbows. But as with all good things, our time had come to an end. The sun would be up soon.

  “I should go,” he said. “I’ve kept you up all ni—”

  I leaned over and kissed him. Simple as that.

  His lips were soft, nothing new there. But he didn’t suction mine like they were something to rip off the way Remi had. In fact, he barely moved at all, like he was scared or inexperienced. When he did finally move, he was gentle and leisurely. His pace made me want more. Leaning closer to him, I ran my fingertips lightly across the hair on his thigh, prepared to hike up the robe and…

  He jumped up suddenly, hitting the floor at a near run. “I have to go.” He turned his back to me and started putting on his clothes like it must be done right now or he’d die. Like his car was about to turn into a pumpkin, his clothes to rags. “I’m sorry, Willow,” he mumbled.

  Remi would never have done that. He would have been all over me like mud on a pickup truck.

  Oh, will you stop it! He’s not Remi.

  “It’s okay, Aaron.” From out of nowhere I asked, “Can I see you tomorrow?”

  He paused halfway down buttoning his shirt and risked a glance in my direction. “Sure, I’d like that.”

  I smiled and got up from the bed. His eyes widened as I approached, but he continued dressing.

  “It’s late enough in the morning for the sun to rise so I’m going to have to hide in the bathroom until you close the door behind yourself.” I helped him button his sleeves since his hands were trembling so badly.

/>   “Why?”

  “Because I’m a vampire.”

  Chapter 16

  His eyes were so wide; I could have crawled inside them and took a nap. Heck yeah, he was scared. Heck yeah, he wanted to bolt. Anticipating he would try to run, I grabbed his arms before he did. Just in time. Staring in his eyes, I whispered soothing words until he relaxed and his pupils opened to the max.

  “It’s okay, Aaron. I won’t hurt you. You’re going to trust me like I trust you.”

  He nodded slowly, his subconscious making the agreement.

  I explained how I had a great time with him, how I enjoyed talking to him and kissing him. Next, I gave instructions for our date tomorrow, erased any memories of my confession, and then disappeared into the bathroom. I stayed there until I heard the front door close. Then I got in bed to sleep the day away.

  I slept like a baby.

  Until there was a knock at the door, then suddenly, I was screaming and diving onto the floor and crawling under the bed for dear life. I’d taken the comforter with me, managing to protect myself from the incoming light.

  “Close the fucking door, Bitch!” I yelled to the housekeeper who was trying to come in.

  Good thing I had the chain on the door. Close call.

  She shut it and begged my pardon over-and-over again.

  This was precisely what I hated about moving to different motels. My old motel had gotten used to me and wouldn’t dare pull this shit…but hell—it always happened at least once, no matter how many times I told the front desk to never come in my room. Paying extra a whole fucking week in advance usually did the trick. And they made out well considering I didn’t ask for a refund when I changed motels mid-week.

  Nothing like nearly bursting into flames to wake your ass right up. Since I couldn’t go back to sleep, I did some online shopping, researched some narcolepsy treatment drugs, and checked my email.

  When it was time to get ready for work, I was excited, though it had more to do with what would take place after work.

  After I did my thing onstage, I mingled with patrons in the Graveyard room, took pictures with VIPs in the booth, and collected blood vials. By the time it was two a.m., I was giddy as a kid first going to Disneyworld. Looking at my watch for the eighteen-hundredth time, I smiled, knowing Aaron would be out back waiting for me.