1 Dicey Grenor

by Grenor, Dicey

  Alternate personalities? I’d caused him to shift?

  I owed him an explanation. What could I say that would be adequate and evasive?

  I needed guidance. Max had said stay away from the human. Saybree had said to bond with the human. I was confused as hell.

  At least he hadn’t regained his memories. That would buy me a little time to figure things out. I’d half expected that would have happened by now and fully expected his senses would be enhanced after having my blood. For how long was the real question.

  “Would you believe me if I said I didn’t know what was happening to you?” I said.

  “No. You know something. I can almost hear you thinking.”

  Uh oh. “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t make everything out. It’s like I need to tune in to the frequency or something. But I know you know something.”

  I sighed. “You’re right, Aaron. I do. But I need you to trust me. I can’t tell you everything I know.”

  “I thought we were friends.”

  There was that word again. Ouch. “We are…and that’s why I have to keep some things from you.”

  “To protect you or me?”

  “Both.”

  “Fine. Don’t tell me…but Willow, if you know how to stop what’s happening to me you gotta do it. If this continues, I’ll have to get back on medication. I hate medicine. Such terrible side effects.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to stop it.”

  He sat for a minute. Then another and another. Finally, I gathered my duffle bag to go. I could see he didn’t want to let it go and he certainly didn’t want to have a romantic evening with me.

  “Wait,” he said as I opened the car door. “Am I still human?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you?”

  I closed the door and sank back in the seat. How to answer this…

  He surprised me by answering first. “Okay. I get it. You can’t tell me that.” I remained silent. “Well, tell me this—did we kill anyone last night?”

  I shook my head.

  He relaxed. “Good. ’Cause I can’t go through that again.”

  Any other time I would have opened dialogue with him about that, but I was thankful he was accepting my half-ass answers. I didn’t want more questions. “We didn’t. I promise.”

  Without another word, he started the car and drove so we could hang out and have a real date.

  At least it was a date to me.

  Chapter 21

  I’d fallen asleep twice while we were at the SkyBar lounge. Once at the table, once on the dance floor. Aaron was there to catch me each time. Other than that, it had been a wonderful night. Most importantly, nothing bad happened that needed erasing from his mind. We’d officially shared pleasant times that could evolve into pleasant memories.

  Rolling over, I snuggled closer to him and buried my head in the crook of his arm. Ah…nice. He smelled good, felt warm, didn’t snore. Too bad he’d fallen asleep before I had the chance to seduce him. I didn’t want to wake him since, due to his insomnia, he said he’d been up for days.

  We were both fully clothed, resting atop the covers. I sooo wanted to be naked with him, bumping and grinding, but this was what humans did—they took it slow. I could do that, right?

  No way.

  Running my hand lightly along his arm, I kept going until I got to the top button of his shirt and began undoing them. Enough with the waiting. Soon sex between us would be illegal. Soon Max would be on my ass. Aaron was already in bed with me. No time like the present.

  Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist and stared in my face. “W-W-W-Willow?”

  I jerked upright. The voice was all wrong, his eyes too fearful, too crazed.

  “W-w-w-where am I?” he said.

  “Shhh. It’s okay. You’re here with me. No one’s going to hurt you.” I leaned over and slowly began to button his shirt. His eyes were wide, but they weren’t on me. They were on the ceiling, the door, the walls, everywhere at once like someone scared to death. “Shhh. It’s okay. I rubbed his head urging him to calm down. “You’ve read about me right?”

  He finally focused on me and sat up. “Yes. I kn-kn-kn-know who you are.” He rested his head on my shoulder. “Why am I awake?”

  “Aaron’s been under a lot of stress lately. I think his brain is scrambled.” I hugged him tightly. “I’ll help you.”

  I was so glad our clothes were still on. It would have been all kinds of wrong for lil’ Aaron to wake up to me fondling the body in his six-year-old mind.

  “I’m M-M-Mason, by the way.”

  What? “Mason? I thought you were lil’ Aaron.”

  “No. I’m the only one who st-stutters.” Well, I’ll be damned. “I woke up yesterday out-of-the-blue. First time in months, jjjjudging by the dates in the journal. Your name was everywhere. Aaaaaron wrote that we should introduce ourselves iiiif we shifted. He said you’d know what to do.”

  Aaron had more faith in me than I did. I was no psychologist.

  I got up from the bed and paced. This was my fault so it was my responsibility. But if memory served correctly, Mason was the one with the eating disorder, as in gluttony. Which meant I couldn’t just cut the tv on and have him entertain himself. Aaron had said Mason ate waaay too much so he only got one day every six months. I had a feeling this wasn’t supposed to be the day.

  I looked at my watch. Fuck. I didn’t have any food for him to eat and since it was broad daylight I wasn’t going anywhere for a while.

  “I’m ssso hungry. Got anything tttto eat?”

  “No. I’m sorry.”

  We sat leering at each other for a long while. I suspected he thought I should be a good host and fetch him something, but I was more concerned about getting him back in Never-Never Land. Fast.

  “I know y-you don’t w-w-want to be stuck here with me. Go. I’ll try to g-go back to sssleep. Maybe Aaron will c-come back.”

  I wondered if he could hear my thoughts. My blood was probably still running strong through Aaron’s body.

  “No. I won’t leave you.” Resolved, I climbed back on the bed and urged him down next to me so I could rub his head. “I’ll hold you ’til you get to sleep.”

  We stayed that way at least an hour but sleep eluded him. Made me wonder if he had insomnia like Aaron.

  Bet he’d fall asleep if I fed him a cheeseburger. And if I stayed in a hotel with room service that wouldn’t be an issue. Hadn’t thought of it until now since I hadn’t made a habit of receiving guests. Maybe I should look in to that.

  Finally, I decided to try something risky since the damage had already been done. I captivated Mason’s eyes and forced Aaron out by calling his name. Just like that. Took all of ten seconds. Funny, he had no clue as to what I’d done. Acted like he had just woken up. I thought it better to leave things that way. What he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him…no more than it already had.

  He showered and put his clothes back on in a hurry saying something about being late for a meeting. Without any prompting from me, he said he’d pick me up from work tonight and we’d hang out again. I was all smiles.

  Perfect.

  When nightfall came I was whistling a tune. Maybe it was because in spite of everything, Aaron and I were getting closer than ever. And I was planning to get a piece of that. Tonight.

  I refused to think of the ramifications.

  Just in case, I tried reaching Max metaphysically to mend things. I needed to reason with him, remind him that even though I had feelings for someone else, he would always be my maistre. Besides, he had many brides. He could grant me one extra-relational affair.

  He refused to answer. Just turned his back to me and shut down his brain wave. I couldn’t see where he was or what he was doing. Which was scarier than his anger.

  It sealed the deal on my plans for the night, however. I was going to fuck Aaron good. No sense in holding out considering Max was already pissed. I’d pray to God for forgiveness afterward and hope
he’d make an allowance this once since he knew how much it meant to me.

  After donning a sweat suit and changing motel rooms, I skipped on over to Dr. Floyd’s lab. He had to run some new tests on my blood for compatibility with the new drug. It was a requirement for each new clinical trials group.

  Seemed like I had to go through this once a week. Hoped that meant new developments and advancements were being made.

  Though nothing had worked for me yet.

  He usually had to send the samples to another lab for testing, but now that his new lab was up and running, everything could be completed there. And I didn’t have to wait forever for results.

  When Dr. Floyd pricked my arm and took ten vials of blood I burst with laughter at the irony. Then I read through a stack of literature detailing new narcolepsy research studies while he put my blood through various lab procedures.

  Sometime later he told me he was calling in several colleagues who were expert hematologists and that he’d have to run the tests again. Time was getting by so I used a courtesy phone and called Franco to let him know I’d be about an hour late.

  Their expert analyses did not take long. Each left the lab shaking his head.

  When Dr. Floyd asked me into the private confines of his office, I knew things were about to get interesting.

  He explained a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo like how the whole composition of my blood had changed. And something about it being predatory. It couldn’t metabolize the drug because it attacked and destroyed the properties intended to help me. It wouldn’t work on my blood and therefore, its healing agent wouldn’t work on my body. Bottom line: I wasn’t eligible for the study.

  Leaning back on his desk, he folded his arms over his white lab coat and looked over the brim of his glasses. In his smart British accent he said, “I had to have a fresh sample of your blood for this new drug, but I wasn’t expecting the make-up of it to be completely different.” He took off the glasses. “And you don’t look surprised at my findings.” I sat in the chair and rested my face in my hands. My existence was getting out of fucking control. “Sooo. Is there anything I need to know about your blood, Willow? Anything at all?”

  There was that patient/physician confidentiality, right? Since he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, not even VET whatever I told him, I may as well give him full disclosure. “Yes. There is something confidential you need to know.” When I opened my mouth again to confide in him he waved his hand, cutting me off.

  “Willow, you have been my patient and friend for years. In fact, you are like the daughter I never had. I want to help you. You know that.”

  “But?”

  “But if you tell me something that violates the law, I am required to give that information to the authorities. That is an exception to the confidentiality rule.”

  Oh. Well, damn.

  Chapter 22

  “Maybe you can keep looking. There’s bound to be another drug that will work for me. I’m willing to pay for the research. Say…ten thousand dollars?”

  I had nothing but motel rooms and clothes to spend on which meant I had accumulated quite the savings. Giving towards his silence—I meant, research on narcolepsy—was just as good a cause as any.

  He put his glasses back on, moving to sit behind his desk and cross his legs. “Don’t say another word. I told you you’re like a daughter, Willow. I don’t need to be bribed. I’ll search for a cure for you no matter how long or what it takes.”

  When I had first read Dr. Floyd’s email about him opening a sleep disorder treatment facility in the Medical Center, I had been hesitant about leaving Max and coming back to Houston. I had not wanted to get my hopes up because after years of human treatments and medicines and therapy, nothing had cured me. So why would I believe his studies and clinical trials would cure me as a vampire? At least I had special gifts that could make my existence more bearable. And if I stayed with my clan, I stood a good chance of surviving as a narcoleptic vamp.

  Yet Dr. Floyd had been so positive, so persuasive. Had even promised free services in exchange for my participation due to a federal grant he had received. I had felt it was worth a shot. Now, I could fully appreciate that decision. Fully appreciate him. I still had narcolepsy, but if anyone could find a cure, it would be him. And if anyone would help me without reporting questionable findings, it would be him as well.

  He went a step further and said he’d explain my blood sample was contaminated if any of his colleagues inquired about what they had seen. I nodded and left his office with a smile. I’d still give him the money. It would be the best tithe I’d ever spent.

  Going through the motions at work was nothing new. That’s how it was whenever I was bored. And I was bored tonight. Would be until Aaron picked me up.

  My countenance lifted as soon as I saw him. He smiled nice and big too. Oh, yeah. Tonight was the fucking night…pun intended.

  I didn’t want to seem too easy or overly zealous about it though. He needed to work a little for it. So I let him drive us to a restaurant while he had dessert and I watched his lips wrap around the spoon over and over. Slowly and deliberately…and sexy as hell.

  I wanted to mount him while we were at the table.

  But I kept my cool.

  When we got back to my new room, Aaron asked why I’d moved. I told him I liked change. Then I changed in to something more comfortable: my bra and panties.

  Subtlety was not my strong suit.

  Walking up to him, I nudged him back on the bed until he sat awkwardly, hesitantly. That was okay. I could handle things. No problem being the aggressor. So I straddled him, planted my hands in his dark curls, and stuck my tongue in his mouth. Probing, sucking, moaning, grinding…I did it all while he held on and let me have my way. I had enough passion for both of us.

  When he finally palmed the part of me that wanted him desperately, I nearly slipped my skin. If I didn’t have him within the next minute I was going to scream.

  Thumbing the side of my panties, I ripped them off. Didn’t need that barrier.

  Boy was I ready, beyond ready.

  “I want you so bad,” I said. And it surprisingly had nothing to do with blood.

  Reaching down between us to let him know exactly what I expected next, I palmed his genitalia through his slacks and found him thick, long and…soft like Charmin. He, most disappointingly, was not ready.

  I froze, probing his eyes for answers. He immediately looked away.

  What the fuck? He didn’t want me. This was so embarrassing.

  Dismounting, I smoothed my hair back from my face. I was flustered. I was humiliated. I was confused.

  I turned my back to him. Couldn’t look at his lusciousness knowing how bad I wanted him and how much it was unreciprocated.

  “I should have told you. I’m sorry, Willow.”

  “Should have told me what?”

  “I’m impotent. Always have been,” he said.

  Swinging around on him like the desperate woman I was, I said, “No, you are not. I have seen you aroused. I’ve seen your erection…and it is spectacular.” I laughed at the absurdity of this conversation. “If you don’t want me, that’s okay. No need to make up shit.”

  “I’m not making it up. I really am impotent.” I looked at him like the freak he was. He stood and walked towards me. “I’m not Remi. When are you going to get that?” I looked hard at that gorgeous face with the mesmerizing eyes and beautiful hair. I couldn’t believe this mess. “No, there’s nothing physiologically wrong with me, but me—Aaron—I can’t get hard. I’m still a virgin no matter how many times my body has physically done the act.”

  I gritted my teeth and stalked to the bathroom mumbling, “This is just too damn bizarre.”

  I was sexually frustrated, but I didn’t have to be. I knew how to get myself off. Fuck Remi…or Aaron, or whoever the hell was in my room.

  “Don’t shut me out,” he said. “I thought you enjoyed hanging out with me. Nothing has to change. You can hang
out with me and have sex with Remi. Isn’t that the best of both worlds?”

  “No. It’s creepy as hell.” I slammed the bathroom door shut but not before I saw his eyes watering.

  Ah, hell. I’d hurt his feelings. Hadn’t meant to do that. Plopping down on the toilet lid, I covered my face with my hands. I hated being cruel to him. He had been nothing but sweet to me. But I was a vampire and cruelness was in my nature. Just because he didn’t know it, didn’t make me any less a bloodsucker. I slowly rubbed my temples and wished taking several deep breaths would help but knew it wouldn’t.

  “I’ve never done oral sex before, but I wouldn’t mind doing that to you if it’ll help,” he said in a soft voice through the door.

  Ha! Tempting, but not good enough. I wanted a big hard dick like the one Remi had.

  I slowly opened the door. “You should go, Aaron.”

  “That’s not fair, Willow. Please don’t do this.”

  “It’s not safe for you here anyway.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “There are some dangerous people after me and I don’t want you to get caught in the crossfire. It’s not your battle.”

  His eyes met mine. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

  Because I wasn’t thinking clearly. Because I was letting my fucking emotions get the best of me. Because you look and taste so damn good. “I don’t know. Just…I guess I just wanted to hang out with you anyway. But it’s not right.”

  “You’re saying I’m no longer worth the effort because I can’t have sex with you.” He looked hurt.

  “No. I’m saying it’s not worth it for you.”

  He walked to me and wrapped his arms around me. “You’re worth it to me.”

  He just wasn’t getting it. “And what about Mason? Is it right for him to get caught up in my mess?” He stepped back abruptly, making me lose my balance. I bumped in to the wall, but I didn’t care. It was best we got all this out. “That’s right, I saw Mason today. This morning. He woke up before you did. That’s what hanging out with me is doing to you.”

  He palmed his head in his hands, backed up to the bed, and slid down to the floor. I sat next to him.