Change of Heart

by Jennifer Moore

  Val’s gaze moved to his and looked away quickly. Her cheeks were flushed. “We were so hungry.”

  Her whisper was barely loud enough to hear over the waves. He hoped his expression didn’t betray his true feelings. His chest heated and his throat was tight. He was angry and completely appalled no one had helped them. “What about your neighbors? Or relatives? Didn’t Social Services…” How could a ten-year-old child possibly raise a family and care for a mentally ill father? How had this family been overlooked by the system?

  “We have no relatives, and we knew if anyone found out, they’d take us away and give us all to different families.”

  He couldn’t argue with that. “But you wouldn’t have been hungry. Everybody would have been taken care of…”

  She shifted, lowering her feet to the ground. “Could you imagine Ruby and Finn growing up in different homes? Do you have brothers and sisters?”

  “A sister. Rachel.”

  “What if you were taken away and never saw Rachel again? I was more afraid of losing my family than of starving.” She tugged on the hem of her sweatshirt. “I worked at whatever jobs I could find and in time, things got better.”

  Val somehow managed to sound both vulnerable and strong. “And your father, he’s…?”

  “In high school, I was in a psychology class. I realized my daddy needed professional help, and I took another job so we could get him seeing a therapist. He’s good now.” She shook her head. “Not how he used to be, but he works and eats, and sometimes even smiles.”

  Nausea rolled in his stomach. The expression on her face had been filled with such shame, as if she was worried he’d look down on her for things out of her control. “Val, the fact that you survived, completed school, sacrificed your childhood for your family and saved your dad makes you the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

  She lifted her gaze. “I’m not any stronger than anyone else. You never know what you can do until you have to do it. Look at you.” She held out her hand toward him. “A young father who lost his wife. You’ve been through difficult times, too, Nathaniel, and you’re working every bit as hard for your family as I worked for mine.”

  He swallowed hard. If she only knew…he was the last person she should compare herself to, especially regarding the preservation of his family.

  For several minutes, they watched in silence as the last flickers of sunlight played off the waves.

  From the corner of his eye, he studied Val. “You okay?”

  “I’ve never told that story to anyone before.” Val’s voice was soft.

  “It must be the porch. I’ve said things out here that I hadn’t meant to, as well.”

  “Next time, it’s your turn.”

  She sounded as if she were trying to make her voice light, but didn’t completely succeed. “Thanks for trusting me, Val.”

  “Thanks for listening.”

  ****

  Val was thrilled Nathaniel returned from Boston for the Fourth of July. She and the children had gotten excited for the celebration after they’d gone into town for story time and seen the holiday preparations. Flags and other patriotic decorations hung from balconies and adorned store windows. Booths and carnival rides were being set up in the park by Grant’s Lake. Flyers advertising the fireworks show were taped to bulletin boards and the doors of the grocery store.

  She prepared a picnic and when Finn woke from his nap, they loaded into the car, and Nathaniel drove them into town. Val had never seen such a large crowd in Lobster Cove. They found a parking place near the movie theater and walked through the vendors, games, and carnival rides.

  Val and Nathaniel leaned against the metal rails of the temporary fence surrounding the carousel and waved at the children each time Ruby and Finn came into view.

  When she heard someone call their names, Val turned to see Seth striding toward them. A woman walked next to him. Val wondered if she was the only one to notice Nathaniel’s brow inched upward when he saw Seth wasn’t alone.

  “Val, Nathaniel. I’d like you to meet Melanie Owen.” Seth grinned.

  Nathaniel shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Hi, Melanie.” Val smiled and offered her hand. Melanie was small and slender, with light brown hair and hazel eyes. Her greeting was pleasant enough, but Val sensed beneath her friendly exterior, the woman was nervous. Her gaze moved over the crowd and her manners seemed uneasy. She tilted her head as if she was subconsciously hiding her face behind her hair. Val had seen women who’d been mistreated act similarly and wondered about Melanie’s history. Was she afraid of something? Or just extremely shy?

  “Been here long?” Seth angled his body to include Melanie in their circle.

  “Just arrived.” Nathaniel lifted a hand to wave at Ruby and Finn as they passed on the carousel.

  The other adults followed suit.

  “Melanie and I were on our way to set out blankets by the lake. Want us to save you a place for the fireworks?”

  “We have a blanket in the car.” Nathaniel lifted his chin toward the movie theater. “I’ll grab it and help you save some spots.” He turned to Val and raised his brows. “If Val doesn’t mind me leaving her with the kids on her day off.”

  “Course not. Go ahead, and we’ll catch up when y’all get back.”

  Seth touched Melanie’s arm gently. “Will you be okay here with Val and the kids for a minute or two?”

  Melanie nodded. “Sure.” She spoke in a voice that was little more than a whisper.

  They all lifted their hands when Ruby and Finn passed again, and the men left.

  “How’d ya meet Seth?” Val asked, hoping to break through Melanie’s shy exterior.

  “I work at Sang Freud Coffee House—right next to his clinic.”

  “You a server?”

  Melanie nodded.

  “I’ve put in my share of time waiting tables.” Val wrinkled her nose. “Not always the most glamorous job, right?”

  Melanie responded with a small smile.

  Val wondered what was needed to get this woman to break out of her shell.

  When the carousel ride ended, Val and Melanie retrieved Ruby and Finn. They bought the children cotton candy and strolled through the game section of the carnival, watching people competing at the various booths.

  Val smiled as she realized how similar the Fourth of July celebration was here on the New England coast to those in the rural Appalachians. She was pulled out of her musings when Ruby squealed, pointing toward a stuffed elephant that hung from one of the carnival booths. “Val, will you get me that elephant, please?”

  She looked at Ruby and then raised her gaze to the sign above the game. Shooting gallery. A thrill went through her, and she grinned. “Course I will, Miss Ruby.”

  The teenage boy running the booth explained how the game worked. Painted targets moved on mechanical tracks. “For each rubber duckie, you get five points, balloons are worth ten. If you hit one of the small targets, your points double.” He lifted his hat, shook his longish hair off his forehead, and then crammed the hat back down.

  “How many points for that elephant?” Val asked, pointing toward the pink stuffed animal.

  “Two hundred. Good luck.”

  Val paid a few dollars and took a pellet gun from the boy, hefting it.

  He stepped out of the way and put his hand on the start button. “You ready?”

  Val lifted the rifle, widening her stance and pulling it against her shoulder as she sighted down the barrel. “Go ahead.”

  The targets started to move, and Val pulled the trigger. The ping of the pellets striking metal sounded as she hit with each shot, easily passing the two hundred points by the time the music stopped.

  “Whoa, you in the army or something?” Wide-eyed, the teen used a long pole with a hook to retrieve the elephant.

  “This is how we get supper where I’m from.” Val winked, unable to hold back a wide grin. Who knew her skill would ever come in handy for something that di
dn’t involve putting supper on the table?

  Melanie laughed quietly, but shook her head when Val offered her the rifle.

  “You aiming to try that again, miss?” said a man behind her.

  When Val turned, she realized a small crowd had gathered. She noticed Seth and Nathaniel were part of the group, and wondered if Nathaniel had seen her shoot. Did seeing his nanny ace the shooting gallery make him feel impressed or embarrassed?

  “Looks like your nanny’s attracting some attention.” Seth motioned to the people around them.

  Val glanced to Nathaniel and smiled. “Anyone else want an elephant?”

  “Finn wants a doggy.” The boy tugged on her hand.

  With a nod, Val reached back into her purse.

  Nathaniel pulled out his wallet before she got a chance and handed some bills to the teenager in the hat. He smiled at Val and placed a hand on his hip. “Let’s see what you’ve got, Annie Oakley.”

  She tossed her ponytail over her shoulder and lifted the rifle. Her heart fluttered slightly, obviously a result of being the center of attention, but she focused on the targets. When the game started, she tuned out the noise of the people around her, and tried to ignore Nathaniel’s gaze she could feel without even looking. She squinted down the barrel and pulled the trigger. One by one, the pellets knocked over the moving targets.

  When the music finished, the crowd cheered, and the kid handed Finn a stuffed dog.

  Nathaniel stepped next to her and bumped her shoulder with his. “Maybe I should have hired you as my bodyguard instead of my nanny.”

  Val grinned as she handed the pellet gun back to the kid in the hat. “If those rubber duckies were squirrels, we’d be eating good tonight.”

  He grimaced, wrinkling his nose and showing his teeth.

  “Squirrel stew?” Seth threw back his head and laughed. “You can’t be serious”

  “You city boys don’t know what y’all’re missing.” Val wagged her finger at them.

  The group walked away from the shooting gallery and continued through the carnival.

  Seth stopped in front of a baseball pitch game and put his hands on his hips. “High school was a long time ago, wasn’t it, Nathaniel? Too bad that pitching arm of yours has gone all soft from neglect. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself with a little friendly competition.”

  Nathaniel stopped mid-stride and spun, marching toward the booth. “You just talking big, or do you really want me to humiliate you?”

  Seth handed a few bills to the man in the booth, and then placed three baseballs on the counter in front of Nathaniel.

  Nathaniel tossed a ball in the air and caught it. He turned to Val and Melanie. “Ladies, you might want to cover the children’s eyes. They shouldn’t have to see their doctor brought to tears.” He threw the baseball toward the cutout square next to the picture of a cartoon batter but missed. Narrowing his eyes, he threw the other two and landed one of his three pitches through the hole.

  “Looks like the ultimate Red Sox fan suffers from the same problems as his team.” Seth laughed at his joke and took a turn, throwing two balls through the strike zone.

  Nathaniel slapped a few more bills on the wooden counter and picked up three more balls.

  “I think they’ll be a while, don’t you?” Val said to Melanie. “Let’s take the kids somewhere in the shade.” She told the men they were leaving, unsure if they even heard, so intent were they upon their competition.

  Val bought popsicles for Ruby and Finn, and then led them to a table in the shaded picnic area. “Melanie, I never asked where y’all are from?”

  Melanie sat on the bench facing them. “Here and there.” She turned her gaze downward. “I lived in Virginia for a little while.”

  Val thought her answer was strange, but didn’t press the issue. If Melanie wasn’t comfortable talking about herself, that was her business.

  “Back at the shooting booth, Seth said you’re Nathaniel’s nanny?” Melanie looked up at Val through her lashes.

  “Yep.” Val lifted Finn onto her lap and leaned back against the table, propping up her feet on the bench next to Melanie. His popsicle dripped down his arm and onto her legs. “I love it. It’s the best job I’ve ever had, and I’ve worked a lot of jobs.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know. The way you two act together, I thought…” A flush bloomed on Melanie’s cheeks.

  Val blinked. She opened her mouth and closed it, too surprised to find words.

  “I’m sorry.” Melanie’s flush deepened. “I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

  “No, of course not. I…I mean, I can’t believe you thought Mr. Cavanaugh and I…”

  “I guess you just get along well.” Melanie smiled shyly.

  Val took a napkin from the dispenser on the table and wiped at the sticky red streaks on her leg. She wondered if her cheeks were as flushed as Melanie’s. “Mr. Cavanaugh’s just a really nice person. And I love his kids.”

  Melanie gazed at Finn and then to Ruby who sat on the other side of Val, swinging her feet and sucking on her popsicle. “I started coaching a kids softball team a few weeks ago,” Melanie said in a quiet voice. “I’d never spent much time around children, and had no idea how much I’d love it.”

  “Yeah, kids can be great, especially these two.” Val ruffled Finn’s hair.

  “I’d never given much thought to having kids of my own, but now…” Melanie shrugged and smiled. “It doesn’t sound so bad.”

  Melanie’s words made Val wonder. Would she ever have children? She’d started to think of Ruby and Finn as her own, which she knew was silly. She’d always hoped to be a mother, but the idea of leaving these children in two months was a dreaded thought she wouldn’t allow herself to fully form. She was grateful for the arrival of Nathaniel and Seth that pushed away the contemplations before her heart began to ache.

  “Daddy, can we have our picnic now?” Ruby asked.

  “Sure, we can. Seth found a good spot out by the lake.” Nathaniel took Finn and glanced at Val’s popsicle-stained legs. His gaze met hers and he smiled.

  Bending down her head to cover her blush, Val stood. Why does his crooked smile have that effect on me? She took Ruby’s hand as they walked toward the picnic blankets.

  Something furry brushed against her arm. She looked down, and then took the small stuffed squirrel Nathaniel held toward her. “What’s this?”

  “I thought you deserved a trophy for your shooting.” He met her gaze and quirked his lips in a smile. “As long as you don’t try to cook it up.”

  She would never stop being surprised by the deep blue of his eyes. “I love it.” Val ran her finger over the fluffy tail. She was taken aback by the thoughtfulness of the small gift. He’d probably thought of the squirrel as nothing, but she was touched. She couldn’t remember anyone doing something so considerate, and for no reason at all.

  He bent his arm to the side awkwardly, stretching it as he carried Finn. “I’m glad you like it. That little guy cost me my pride, and I’ll be feeling it in my shoulder for a long time.”

  I wonder how many pitches it took him to win this little squirrel. “As long as you beat Seth, that’s what counts, right?”

  Nathaniel grimaced. “That’s the story I’m sticking to. Don’t let him tell you otherwise.”

  The fireworks display over the Grant’s Lake was the most impressive show Val had ever seen, and southerners know a thing or two about explosives. She rested her hands back on the quilt, tilting up her head, and glanced to the side to see Nathaniel watching her. Val smiled, mouthing “what?” as she lifted her shoulders. She was grateful for the darkness that covered the color on her cheeks.

  Nathaniel turned his face back toward the glowing sky, but leaned toward her. “Thanks for today.”

  Even though his arm hadn’t touched hers, his nearness warmed the entire side of her body. Val’s chest felt like a helium balloon was growing inside. She wished she could think of a way to capture the moment and keep it foreve
r.

  Chapter Six

  Out of the six weeks Val had been a nanny in Maine, she’d been on her own for almost three of them. Nathaniel had to travel back and forth to Boston more often than he’d planned.

  While he was gone, Val and the children played in the park and on the beach. They went to story time at the Cliffside Bookstore and Shuckers Booktique, and a few times rented a movie.

  When the weather was bad, they’d explored the attic, finding a hidden panel in the wall and pretending they’d located the entrance to Narnia. They had picnics, ate ice cream, read books, and played, and Val loved every minute of the days. Until the children went to sleep. Then she sat on the porch alone, noticing the absence of fireflies and wishing she had Nathaniel to talk to.

  Sometimes, he called to check on the children. She kept him on the phone too long, telling him about their day, asking about his. She knew the lengthy conversations must frustrate him. He was a busy attorney after all, but she looked forward to his phone calls more than anything else.

  Brandt and Seth had both contacted her nearly every day. She had no hard feelings toward Brandt, but she told him she didn’t have the time to see him with her boss gone. Seth usually called in the evening to make sure everyone was all right. A few times he’d even stopped by with Daisy. Val suspected Nathaniel might have asked him to check on them.

  She’d called home a few times a week, but the calls had become shorter as her sisters were both busy with whatever takes up teenage girls’ time, and her daddy was never one for long conversations. The realization they had all gone on with their lives and didn’t seem to miss her as much as she missed them stung a little.

  One warm afternoon, Val, Ruby, and Finn sat outside on a picnic blanket in the shade. Ruby read aloud while Finn slept curled up in Val’s lap. Nathaniel had told her the day before if sentencing finished early, he might return before supper. She hadn’t wanted to get up the children’s hopes. But they baked cookies, and Val wore a new outfit: a t-shirt and knee-length skirt. She didn’t want to give any credence to what Clam-Bake Candice had said, but her words had made Val think. After that night, she paid attention to what other women wore around town. She didn’t think Nathaniel would notice—or care that she wore something new, but a little part of her hoped.