Change of Heart

by Jennifer Moore

  The softness of her hands, the conviction in her voice when she’d defended and reassured him Clara’s death wasn’t his fault. She actually believed it. Actually believed in him. Telling her the truth had felt like the exact right thing to do. Kissing Val had felt like coming home. Just the thought of their closeness hours later shot heat through his body. He’d trusted her with the deepest, most secret parts of himself and instead of shying away, Val had responded with understanding and acceptance.

  Only when his brain kicked in had he realized what he’d done. What they were doing, and he’d had to stop it. He knew he’d hurt her. The person who’d listened and comforted him. Even in the darkness, he could feel her distress. But what other choice did he have? He couldn’t treat Val like a summer fling. She deserved better.

  Seth continued to regard him with a questioning expression while they stretched out at the old fence. “You sure nothing’s wrong?”

  “Everything’s fine.”

  “How’s Val?”

  Nathaniel shot a dark gaze toward Seth.

  Seth nodded. “I thought that was it.” He pushed on the fence, leaning forward to stretch out his calves.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Means I can tell something’s going on between you two.” Seth traded legs and leaned forward again. “I knew you the whole time you were with Clara, and I never saw you look at her the way you look at Val.” He stood on one leg, shaking out the other, and then switched. “Just the way you’re acting right now tells me more is there than you want people to think.”

  Nathaniel leaned back against the rails, crossing his arms. “And what am I supposed to do? She leaves in a few weeks. Not to mention, Val and I are from completely different worlds.”

  “Last time I checked, you were both from planet Earth.”

  Nathaniel stayed silent.

  “You want my diagnosis?”

  “Are you a psychologist now?” Nathaniel furrowed his fingers through his hair.

  “You’ve been beating yourself up about Clara for years now. Not just her death, which was in no way your fault. You feel responsible for the problems in your marriage, and in some weird way you’re punishing yourself.” Seth walked around the fence to face his friend. “You do deserve to be happy. And if Val makes you happy…”

  Nathaniel’s jaw tightened. “Then what? I keep her from her dream in Paris? Take her to Boston where she’ll feel completely lost?”

  Seth opened his mouth to speak.

  With a wave, Nathaniel cut him off. “Listen, the kids’ grandparents will be here for dinner on Sunday. You want to come?”

  “Marielle and Lawrence?” Seth’s mouth turned downward. “Should be interesting.”

  Interesting was an understatement. “Is that a yes?”

  “One might wonder whether you are inviting me to ease some of the awkwardness, or if it’s my world-famous grilled salmon you’re after.”

  Nathaniel sighed and tipped his head. “It’s both”

  “You sure do know how to make a guy feel wanted.”

  The man’s ego was unbelievable. Nathaniel rolled his eyes.

  “Mind if I bring Melanie?”

  The mention of Seth’s friend was just a reminder of how caught up Nathaniel had been in his own problems for the last few months. He didn’t know anything about this woman his friend was apparently seeing. “You don’t think Marielle and Lawrence will scare her away? She seemed pretty shy.”

  “Nah. And she likes Val.” He smirked. “She came right out and admitted it. Imagine that.”

  Nathaniel muttered something that resembled a farewell and walked up the road to the cottage.

  He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and noticed a spoon in the sink. Val must have had breakfast. She wasn’t on the back porch. Maybe in her room? Or she may have gone for a walk. He didn’t blame her for avoiding him.

  He showered and worked in his office for the majority of the day, thinking of what Seth had said. His thoughts turning more often than they should to Val. Should he check on her? He started up the stairs half a dozen times before talking himself out of it. What would he say? Apologize again for kissing her? Ask if she felt better today after she’d fled in tears?

  He couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t simply dredge up injured feelings. He’d probably make it worse. Or downplay the moment, which would be more hurtful. In the end, he stayed in his office, straining for sounds coming from the floor above.

  Later that afternoon, Nathaniel heard the crunch of gravel beneath tires and hurried outside as his in-laws pulled in front of the house.

  Ruby opened her door and ran toward him as soon as the car stopped. “Daddy!” She squeezed her arms around his waist and looked past him to the door. “Where’s Val?”

  Finn strained against the straps of his car seat and held onto Nathaniel’s neck when he was finally freed. “Daddy. We home!” The boy leaned and squirmed, indicating he wanted to be put down. “Val!”

  Hearing her name, Nathaniel turned his head and saw Val kneeling on the steps, smiling and nodding as she listened to Ruby jabber away about her trip to her grandparents’ house. She wore a short lightweight cotton sundress held up with thin lacy straps.

  Finn joined them, and Val pulled him into her lap as she continued to listen to Ruby.

  “So that’s the famous ‘Val’ we heard about for the last two days.” Lawrence joined Nathaniel and let out a low whistle.

  Nathaniel didn’t acknowledge the man’s reaction with a response. Instead, he opened the car door for Marielle.

  His mother-in-law was applying lipstick and turned her head back and forth to study the effect before she closed her mirror and returned it to her purse. Without looking, she reached out a hand for Nathaniel to assist her from the car. She stepped out and allowed her gaze to travel over the scene, taking in the cliffs, the yard, and finally the cottage. “Oh really, Nathaniel. I didn’t know you were camping out here. Why not take the children to a nice resort?” She took a step toward the house but when her gaze landed on Val, she froze.

  Nathaniel actually saw her nostrils flare, and a surge of protectiveness rose inside him. He walked to the steps. “Val, come meet Finn and Ruby’s grandparents.”

  Her gaze met his briefly, but she turned away, lifting Finn and holding onto Ruby’s hand as she joined him on the gravel drive.

  At the sight of her red puffy eyes, Nathaniel drew in a breath, his stomach sinking. He saw Marielle look Val up and down and fought against the impulse to shield his nanny from her scrutiny. “Val, I’d like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Lassiter. Marielle and Lawrence, this is Valdosta McKinley.”

  “Valdosta?” Lawrence’s eyebrow rose.

  “Pleased to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Lassiter.” Val held out her hand.

  “My goodness, have some decency and put on some clothes.” Marielle pointed toward the door.

  Val blinked. She opened her mouth and took a step back. Red flooded her cheeks as she glanced down at the yellow sun dress.

  He hadn’t seen it before so Nathaniel was sure she’d chosen the dress especially for the occasion.

  “Marielle.” Nathaniel stepped between them, taking his mother-in-law’s arm. “You haven’t seen the view from the porch.”

  “Is this why you didn’t send her down to Boston? That woman is wearing little more than a negligee.”

  Nathaniel shook, furious that Marielle would insult Val. The look of humiliation on Val’s face hurt like a punch in the gut.

  “I won’t have a woman like her around my grandchildren. Do you want Ruby to think it’s okay to dress like a call girl?” She curled her lip and wrinkled her nose.

  The edges of Nathaniel’s vision turned red. He didn’t think he’d ever been so fiercely angry in his life. He wanted to squeeze Marielle’s bony elbow until she screamed. Her voice sounding every bit as arrogant as Clara’s made it all the worse.

  “Marielle—” He was impressed he could make his voice sound as calm as i
t did. “—Miss McKinley is my employee and my friend. She saved Finn’s life at personal risk to her own. She is the kindest, most genuine person I’ve ever met. I don’t care what she chooses to wear because I know she loves my children, and that’s what’s important.”

  The screen door closed behind him.

  Marielle’s eyes narrowed and she darted a look back at the cottage. “What’s really going on up here? Nathaniel, what are you doing with that woman?”

  “That’s enough talk about the nanny.” Lawrence flicked his hand.

  He finally must have decided to intervene before things got ugly.

  Lawrence took his wife’s arm. “Nathaniel, why don’t you show us your vacation home? And Marielle and I were hoping to take you out to dinner. We heard The Cliffside, next to our hotel, is supposed to be one of the best places in town.”

  “That will be fine.” Nathaniel held up a hand, palm forward. “But let me just be clear. I won’t tolerate any ill speaking of Val under my roof. Such behavior is completely unacceptable, and I refuse to allow that sort of talk to reach my children’s ears.”

  Both Lawrence and Marielle stared.

  He was sure they’d never heard him put his foot down. He’d certainly never stood up to his wife. Nathaniel was glad he’d not just let the incident slide. Val needed a defender, and he was the only one who could do it. If only he’d found his backbone a few years earlier when Clara had been the one spouting insults.

  When Nathaniel returned from dinner, the cottage was dark. He glanced out at the back porch but wasn’t surprised when he didn’t see Val. He climbed the stairs. Both children were in their beds asleep, and no light glowed beneath Val’s door. He didn’t know what to say, but couldn’t let the events from the last two days pass without speaking with her.

  He knocked softly on her door. “Val?”

  She didn’t respond.

  She had to be in there. He knew she wouldn’t have left the children home alone. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything.” He heard movement inside her room. “Val, open the door. Can we talk?”

  “Not tonight,” came her muffled reply.

  He didn’t blame her in the least. She had to feel completely mortified by what Marielle had said, and add that to the kiss the night before…Feeling sad, Nathaniel rested his forehead against the door. “Good night, Val.”

  ****

  The next day, Val planned to be out of the house as early as possible. She texted Brandt and learned he and his friends would be spending the day at the beach by the Sea Crest Inn. The last thing she wanted was to run into Nathaniel, or his mother-in-law. Just the thought of the woman’s condescending words made Val’s stomach sour and her face smolder.

  Mrs. Lassiter was one thing, but knowing how Val’d undoubtedly embarrassed Nathaniel—probably the entire time she’d been in Lobster Cove with her white trash clothes—felt a hundred times worse. Of course he didn’t take her seriously. How could he when he was so clearly out of her league? He’d humored her all along and probably laughed at her behind her back.

  His rejection after their kiss made it painfully obvious he didn’t consider her to be the right kind of woman. How could she have thought otherwise?

  Embarrassment and humiliating washed through her, nearly to the point of making her vomit. She breathed heavily, waiting a moment to get up the nerve to open the door. She grabbed her beach bag and purse and peeked in at Ruby and Finn before she hurried down the hall. Luckily, the kids were still asleep. She hoped Nathaniel was, too, or else maybe he was running with Seth. Stepping quietly down the stairs, she glanced toward Nathaniel’s room and office, but both doors were shut.

  He said her name as she laid her hand on the doorknob.

  Val’s heart rose into her throat. She’d only seen him for a few moments since their kiss, and those moments weren’t great. She turned, but kept her gaze on the floor. “I’m sorry, I have to go. I have plans today.” His feet appeared her line of sight.

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “I don’t want to talk.”

  “Do you plan to avoid me for the rest of the summer?” He took a step closer.

  Val backed up, bumping into the door. She was acting like a petulant princess and chided herself. She was an educated independent woman, and she needed to start behaving like it. “Of course not.” She raised her gaze, fighting against the emotion that seemed determined to leak out of her eyes.

  “Good. I was hoping you would join us for dinner tonight.” His voice was light, “Seth’s coming over to grill salmon and he’s bringing Melanie. Marielle and Lawrence will be here, and I thought everyone would love your cornbread and coleslaw. I know it’s your day off, but I’d really appreciate it if you’d make this exception.”

  He sounded as if he were asking her to grab a cola at the gas station and couldn’t imagine this would be distressing in the least. “Are you even kidding me right now?” She didn’t know whether to scream or to cry. Her hands were shaking. Why was he doing this? Was he making fun of her? “I can’t come to supper. I don’t even want to be here, not after what she…” Maintaining eye contact turned out to be impossible.

  “Val, I’m not letting you hide.” He spoke in a serious voice. “I’m not ashamed of you. I don’t care what Marielle says, and I don’t want her to hurt you or make you feel like you’re not welcome. I want you here tonight. We all do.”

  She glanced up at him and felt her heart inflate.

  “You’re one of us and we’re in this together.”

  Her throat tightened as she realized what he was asking. Nathaniel wanted her to come to dinner? Did he really think Valdosta McKinley from the holler was good enough to associate with his wealthy family and friends? A bud of hope sprouted in her chest, but the feeling disappeared when she remembered Marielle’s spiteful words from the day before. “But after what she said…”

  “I can’t believe the same woman that jumped in front of a trolley, raised her family, sold a skeptical man on abstract art, or wowed the entire town at the shooting gallery gives a second thought to the words of one haughty middle-aged woman.”

  Val stared at Nathaniel and her tears threatened to overflow, but for a completely different reason than before. She had no idea he felt this way. He believed in her. He was proud of her and wouldn’t let Marielle tear her down. “Thank you.” She opened the door. She needed to escape, either that or fall into his arms, which obviously wasn’t an option.

  “Seven o’clock?”

  “I’ll be here.” Val’s emotions were on a crazy rollercoaster ride. Her heart raced, her knees shook, and she didn’t know whether she would end up laughing or sobbing. She’d rather find out in the privacy of her car than in front of Nathaniel.

  She drove down the gravel drive, and, once out of sight of the cottage, she pulled over and leaned against the head rest. Did Nathaniel have any idea what his words accomplished? She had gone from feeling worthless to feeling like she could conquer the world. She found a pen in her purse, made a grocery list of what she’d need for the evening, and felt her smile growing.

  For a moment, she daydreamed about spilling lemonade in Marielle’s hair and giggled as she pulled back onto the road in better spirits than she’d felt in days. She arrived at the beach early and relaxed in the warming sun until her friends joined her. The group ate and laughed, but Val’s smile had nothing to do with her company. She didn’t feel bad about leaving early, even though Brandt acted as if she were breaking his heart. Instead, she looked forward to supper, to good food and friends that cared about her, but especially being with the man whose approval had come to mean more than just about anything.

  Chapter Eight

  Nathaniel and his children escorted Marielle and Lawrence around Lobster Cove. This time, the children were decidedly less excited about playing tourist. They’d already seen the lighthouse and statue of the Lost Fisherman. He didn’t think they’d mind so much if their grandparents showed them a bit more attention, or p
atience. Unfortunately, Marielle and Lawrence maintained an adult pace without consideration to the tedium it must be for Ruby and Finn. He did his best to keep the children interested, but eventually resigned himself to the fact that short of a miracle, at least one of them would be whining or crying for the rest of the day.

  They walked out onto the Pier 1, and Nathaniel couldn’t keep his gaze from traveling to the sand beach by the Sea Crest Inn. Val had told him that was where she usually went on her day off, and he’d seen a pink swimsuit strap at her shoulder when she’d left this morning.

  He didn’t like the idea of Val spending the day with those people. Particularly those male people—especially when she wore what he imagined was hidden beneath her tank top and shorts. His jaw ached, and he realized he’d been clenching his teeth. He’d be glad when his life was back to normal, with his in-laws gone and Val keeping everyone happy. But was that really normal? Val would only be part of their lives for a few more weeks. The thought made him feel like his chest was caving in. Could his family return to how things were before? Could he?

  On the return to the cottage, he found the front door was unlocked. Val’s back already? He pushed it open, and the smell of baking cornbread reached him. Nathaniel was glad Val had chosen to join them. His nagging worry lessened. He knew how hard doing so must be, but he also knew she had to prove to herself she was more valuable than anything Marielle could say.

  Val came from the kitchen dressed in a knee-length skirt and a T-shirt. Her hair was pulled away from her face with a band and curled softly over her shoulders and down her back. She wore a necklace he hadn’t seen before.

  “I was wondering when y’all would get back.” She handed a bottle of Lighthouse Lager to Nathaniel and Lawrence. “Mrs. Lassiter, would you like me to pour you a glass of wine? The liquor store in Bar Harbor recommended a California Chardonnay to go with salmon.”

  “How lovely, thank you.” Marielle spoke in a voice that sounded like a recording. Her eyes had a dazed look.