The pain dazzled. Like the cut of a scythe, it separated me from everything else that had happened before, from all the terrible things that might happen. All that mattered was him, concentrated. Distilled male.
Still unsure why, and what the hell I was doing, I crept my hands onto the wall. I felt the dips between the smooth square tiles. Water dribbled down my skin. His hand stayed on my jaw as did his crushing hold on my breast. And I loved it.
All those games we’d played meant nothing when he was like this. I saw him for what he truly was. I was dealing with the devil.
“Correct response. But slow. You will be punished for that.”
Desire rippled into me, and I shivered for a full second. Visibly shivered. His threat had done that. Since when had I been into pain?
“You like that?” His eyebrow arched. “You like the threat of pain?”
“No.” My denial was automatic, but I couldn’t stop the tiny swallow that followed. He’d figured me out before I did.
His thumb swept across to my mouth then he curled out my lip as if checking the teeth of a bought creature.
Awareness blossomed in his eyes, a smug satisfaction that half made me want to wipe it away. But the other half of me wanted to do anything he asked.
“Liar,” he murmured, stretching out my nipple, eliciting another gasp. “Pretty liars get hurt anyway. Say thank you.”
My eyes widened. Then he shifted his hand, hooked two fingers into my mouth, and leaned that elbow on the wall behind my head. “Say thank you.”
I wriggled in his grip.
“Say thank you.”
“No, no –”
His fingers hooked deeper in, brushing my tongue. I was crushed, desire annihilating thought. My thank you tumbled out. Tears leaked and dribbled down my cheeks. This was insane.
He pulled his hand from my mouth and held my throat to the wall while he shoved his other hand between my legs, fingers curving along in my moisture and making me part my legs. Then he lifted me an inch or so. My back slid on tile, rekindling pain. I was pinned there, throat and pussy. A needy moan escaped my lips.
I wanted this, I did, but I was afraid. Who would stop him, this monster of a man, if he went too far? He could burn me down to the ground if he so chose. Want and sensible were at war.
“We can’t have sex.” I managed to gasp out, my throat moving against his hand. We couldn’t because of Gregor. What a time to remember where we were. I did what was becoming a habit, I blanked it out.
“I can think of a hundred thousand other things I could do with you. All of them dirty. I own you, Miss Jazmine. Starting with this.”
Own. The word stunned me. His predatory smile widened.
Then he kissed me.
I’d never been kissed before while someone held me down. This, this was what I’d been missing. Overwhelming mind-shaking passion. A desire so strong that it made someone want to hold you still while they used your mouth, abused your mouth, and ravaged you with teeth, tongue, and fingers.
Pieter was a storm not a man, a living, breathing, biting force of nature and I let him sweep me away.
“You know what?” he said at last, his words murmured beside my ear. I was trembling and only held up by his hands on my body.
I looked out through a tangle of his hair. Someone’s hair was in my mouth. Whose, I didn’t know or care, as I was too busy struggling to breathe. We were both sweating, our bodies sliding one on the other, his rock-hard chest squashing my breasts. At some point he’d ripped off his shirt and he’d done it so fast I’d barely registered the act.
“What?” I mumbled, and I gathered the strength to tongue out the stray twist of hair. “What did you say?” No sex allowed and here I was aching to get him inside me.
“One. You moved your hands. Two. I am going to enjoy this.”
Shit. Panic galloped in. My hands were on his shoulders.
While I was still figuring out why his words had made me hornier, he took my wrist and towed me out from the wall. Then he strode to the bed, sat down, and patted beside it.
His erection was so obvious I could have taught penis anatomy with a picture of the gray pants he wore.
“Come here.”
I actually had to mentally brake myself, so as not to twist my foot on the floor. I felt like a teenager about to get chastised. Only this wasn’t going to be just a grounding.
“Come.”
So assured, damn him, and his eyes devilish. The man was supremely confident I’d come when called and I... Truthfully, it made me want to go over there, kneel at his feet, and suck on that cock he displayed.
Hesitantly, I walked his way, only a little sideways, so that I might or might not be going there.
“Do you remember how hard I can hit, Jazmine?”
Duh. You fucker. I pressed my lips into a line and nodded. I think my eyes were on fire, I couldn’t help staring at his lap.
“If I have to stand up and grab you, those bruises are going to be twice as big.”
Bastard. “You’re supposed to help me heal!”
He gave me an assessing look. “They will. Your hand.” He reached out and stupidly I let him take mine and pull me to him. His palm massaged up and down my lower back. “Lie down over my lap, hands on the floor.”
“This doesn’t mean I’m yours or that I’m going to do this again. Experiment. Only.” I was babbling.
For the first time he grinned.
Amusing, was I? “Fuck. I’m so confused.” I was whining now. Shit. I was a wimp, a pussy, and a few other words I never wanted to be.
“Don’t over think it. You like being made to do things. You like doing what I tell you. Nod.”
What a trick. He’d made it easy for me and he knew it. Slowly, shifting my weight from foot to foot, I plucked up my courage, and I nodded, but I whispered, “Just this once.”
“Lie down.”
I was still naked.
I could see the headline – female journalist is traitor to the feminist cause. What did it matter? I’d already been tied up and tortured. I owned the woman kidnapped and turned into sex slave headline.
I sighed, looked once more at the erect present nearly poking a hole in his pants then lowered myself onto his lap until my hands were flat on the floor. Through the wet strands of my hair, I found myself looking at the silver angel on my wrist. I blinked at this pretty reminder of ugliness. Thankfully, Pieter began to wind my hair around his fingers, diverting me from thoughts of Gregor.
The tension and small pains as his fist gathered my hair were familiar, and as the pressure increased, I sighed with pleasure. This, I could grow to love.
“What an ass.” He explored there while he held me in place. All I wanted was to lie on his lap with my head pulled back and my eyes closed, letting him do it, lost in the sensations as he smoothed his fingers over the mounds of my ass and into the divide. He teased me, swirling close to my nether hole, before tickling up my back and exploring elsewhere. Sometimes he brushed over old hurts and made me hiss. And repeat. Mentally I was begging him to touch between my legs. My moans made him take another turn of my hair around his fist.
Nothing existed but this moment. Where we were, the past, everything, I let it drift away.
If I shifted on my hands, it was a distant thing, barely registered.
Every so often, he delivered a light smack. The frequency increased until I was both anticipating and dreading the next. The reverberations in my flesh and his gentle touches combined with lying naked across his lap, and trapped, was locking me into a mindset. What he did, I endured, because he was doing this to me. My normal logic died a fast death.
Once only, when I instinctively tried to escape, he locked his leg over mine until I ceased wriggling.
Damn, I liked that. I fucking loved being trapped like this.
Nothing he’d done before was as intense as this. This was his need, none others, to have me where I was and under his control.
I succumbed, writhi
ng sometimes, crying out at the harder smacks. Under me, the pulse of his cock when I whimpered made me yearn to fuck him.
Then he stopped. He laid his hand over the hottest, most aching part of my ass. “You’re loving this. This isn’t punishment, is it?”
I sucked in some desperate air as I thought.
The question surely needed a no, because even if it meant more pain I wanted to see where this would take me. Crazy. I dug my toes into the floor then shook my head, feeling his grip reining in my moves.
Keep going.
“Your ass is going to be the end of me. I almost want to make you come more than make you hurt.” He leaned down and added quietly, “And I never knew I’d want to hurt you so much.”
I shuddered, reading a vicious guarantee in his words. My clit had been engorged for so long every pulse made it ache. I squeezed my thighs together.
His teeth bit my ear lobe simultaneous with the slide of his hand to my pussy entrance. He crammed slippery fingers inside. No preamble. I jerked and shot into extreme arousal so fast I choked. More. I coughed, swallowed, eyes shut. I tried to grind my clit on his thigh and heard him chuckle.
“Almost more, but not quite.” Then he pulled out his fingers, and slammed his palm down on my butt, jarring me into his leg. “One.”
I groaned.
“Two.”
Pain flared.
“Three. Beg, girl. Beg to come and I stop. Four. Five.” He kept going.
He wanted me to beg? Another smack hit me and I screeched. “Yes! Please. Please.”
I sobbed. Tears leaked and dripped off my cheeks. These were far harder than before. Yet even this crueler pain somehow twisted in and made me ache.
“Please!”
“You want me to make you come? Say exactly that.”
Fuck. Saying the exact words made it more humiliating. I jolted forward as he began again.
“Yes! I want to come.”
“Incorrect.”
What? I scrambled to figure it out. “Please,” I blurted, still sobbing and hiccupping, and now I couldn’t stop. “Please, I want you to make me come.”
“Good. That’s what I needed to hear.”
I knew he was being smug again but I didn’t care because he moved me up his lap until my mons rested on his thigh. My clit was on the dangerous verge of pressing on that nicely solid muscle. I squirmed, but not much, afraid this man would decide I needed more of his hurting.
Though that too enticed me.
My world was a little messed up.
“Stay still.” His hand slid languorously, fingernails tickling and scratching, down the back of my upper thigh, then over the inner curve between my legs. He traced the seam of my pussy, nudging apart the lips, cruising the whole length of his fingers in my moisture until I was about to go cross-eyed imagining them going inside.
“What have I found? Don’t ever tell me spanking doesn’t get you horny.” He slicked those fingers around and around in a little circle at my entrance. I was almost ready to beg again. “Hmm?”
What was the question? He’d stopped doing anything apart from resting his fingers there. So close to going in.
I wiggled, straining for more of his touch. “I won’t.”
“Good girl.”
He slid them further under me, and searched for my clit, and found it. As he played with it, I arched, moaning quietly.
I was so turned on I’d have let him do anything to gain an orgasm. Spank me, tie me up. Anything. My body centered on what he was doing and the heat emanating from my newly hurt butt.
“Tsk. So wet. You’re dripping all the way down here, girl.”
Fuck.
Girl...again. I’d ignore that. He toggled my clit, slowly, squeezing it then teasing me by leaving it alone and venturing to my entrance, and dawdling there. My pussy walls clenched.
“Go in! Please?” I begged.
“Can’t. You know that. Not now. I’ve already done too much. Though I’d love to fuck you.”
Oh. Was finger-fucking sex? I didn’t care as he’d fastened those fingers over my nub and was working at it properly now. Close, so close. I arched even more, grasping at the floor, shaking, my mind closing in, and then...and then, blown away. The climax ripped through me. I screamed once, panted convulsively.
“That’s it,” he murmured. “Come for me, Jazmine.” His massaging kept on, around and around, wringing more from me.
“Oh fuck. No,” I choked out.
“Yes.” For just a second, his thumb slipped inside me, fucking me slowly.
No. No.
Another rippling orgasm shook me. Every strangled gasp hurt my neck and hair. His fist was still entangled.
At last he released my head and he turned me over in his lap, bringing my legs onto the bed, and cuddling me to his chest.
“There. Shh.”
His pats seemed so at odds with what he’d just done but I needed them and I snuggled in, tired, with my lips on his chest. Sweaty, salty man. Mmm.
“See,” he whispered, his face in my hair, inhaling. “I’m not all bad. Once upon a time I was a good man.”
I answered automatically, barely able to think through what he meant. “Mm-hmm. You’re not so bad. I think I like you even.”
His quiet laugh made me smile and take another long breath. Funny how he made me feel safe.
Chapter 13
I dragged Jazmine over onto the bed to spoon with me. I left my pants on. If both of us got naked, right then, I’d think I’d have had an accident of lustful proportions and shoved inside her without thinking. I was happy just feeling her ass with my cock, through the cloth, if that was all I could get without endangering her.
After a while, I felt her slip into sleep. Her breathing slowed and she relaxed against me. We could shower tomorrow. Besides, I loved the scent of a woman who I’d just made to come. Being able to nestle into her, to lean over and watch her breasts rise and fall, to just be there beside her, was enough to make my chest ache, and it wasn’t an oncoming heart attack. Touching, skin on skin, was an underestimated luxury.
We seemed to match, perfectly, in a way only the truly kinky could understand. I lay there, breathing in time with this warm, beautiful creature, wishing what was happening to her was some nightmare instead of real. It had been years since I’d had someone in my arms I connected with this well.
Hard to believe how this had fallen out. From my initial insane urge to help a gorgeous, sad woman I’d come across in Australia, to this. I guess, even back then, I’d fallen in lust with her, as well as a little in love with her bravery. She never gave up, despite all that happened. Not many could weather this sort of darkness and stay sane.
With her in my arms, hope arose. We had to make it out of here.
Her movements, as she turned over, woke me, though I’d only lightly touched sleep. Here, sleep was always shallow, like being in combat only worse. I had no one to trade watches with.
It was morning. Six AM, maybe. The sun was peeking in enough to see colors, like her pretty green eyes looking back at me.
“Hey, beautiful.” Those eyes compelled me to kiss her nose. Then she smiled a full smile that made me sad inside. “I won’t bite. Or not yet.”
I had my arm draped over her and I stroked her hair, felt her curled fingers stir against my chest.
Her lips twitched. “I can’t believe I let you do all that.”
That little squirm she did with her butt reminded me of her squirms last night.
“Hmm?” I figured she needed some space to think.
“I mean, I know some people like pain but that’s never been me.” She shook her head and toyed with my chest hair.
I thumbed the frown lines between her eyes. “Did you like it?”
The red blush that swept onto her face was cute. Still embarrassed, after all we’d done?
It took her a few swallows and head shakes before she met my eyes. “I guess...yes. I even wanted more.”
“So you wanted
what I gave you?”
“It was...” She looked like she didn’t believe her own words. “Incredible. But that wasn’t...normal, was it?”
“Normal? My view – it’s normal for you. Everyone, I’ve found, has some sort of weird kink inside them. Though not everyone lets their freak flag fly.”
I shifted my arm down to gently smooth my palm across her ass. That squirm again. I must’ve touched somewhere sore. “If I can’t fuck you, is it a crime to want to keep feeling you up?”
Jazmine studied me for a long while before answering. “No. I guess not.”
An iffy reply if I ever heard one. Though I could see she’d been thinking about what had happened, I hadn’t a clue as to what exactly those thoughts had been. “What are you thinking?”
“That...” She put her hands up and covered her face then breathed into them. “God. I don’t know. This is such an insane situation. I guess, I don’t even know if I’m going to be alive tomorrow and this is just crazy.”
“Uh huh.” Gently I pulled away her hands. There were tears beneath her eyes. “Keep going.”
“Keep going?” She nodded, half to herself. “You’re pretty scary, you know, though I hate admitting it, even if it’s fucking obvious. I’m not a naive innocent, though. I know what BDSM is. And...I really have never wanted a man to...”
And there she stopped.
“Dominate you? Hurt you?” I raised my eyebrows and wiped away some of those quiet tears.
“Yes. It worries me that this is all because of what you did to me before, in front of...him. You know? This might be just some weird psychological thing?”
Talk about a difficult question.
“I don’t know. What I do know is I want to get you out of this.”
“Mmm. Yeah. That goes for both of us.”
“Good.” I pulled her close and kissed her, long and thoroughly until she was sighing. My leg ended up wrapped over her. Maybe if I tried I could make her part of me, make her so mine no one could separate us. I pressed my mouth against her forehead, thinking, hoping, trying not to despair.
“Pieter?”
I pulled back. “Yes?”
Seize me From Darkness (Pierced Hearts Book 4) Page 9