“You said you used to give your wife pain? So, she liked it? The same as...” Her lips twisted.
“You? Seems to me that talking about this is more painful than me beating your ass. Maybe we should go back to that?” A man could hope.
She snorted. “It’s hard to get my head around. That I liked you going all cave man on me.”
“I didn’t go all cave man. That’s just me. I let it out around you because you respond to it so fucking nicely. I enjoy it. So do you. Yes, my ex-wife liked being hurt and she’s a masochist. No, I didn’t go cave man on her if you’re wondering because that wasn’t something she liked. We were close to equals in the bedroom. You however, seem to love being my sub.”
I grabbed her and rolled over so she was under me.
After one squeak, she lay there, staring up, her hands on my biceps like she was checking them out in a subtle way.
“Such little fingers you have.” I pecked at her mouth but couldn’t resist deepening the kiss. Then I wedged my leg between hers and leaned some weight on her there. Her eyelids fluttered down and she groaned softly. Magic. “See. This you love. Being mine. My submissive.”
Her eyes flashed open and after a second she threw back, “That’s still negotiable. If I say no, in the BDSM world that means you back away? Yes?”
Except when it came to what Gregor wanted, but I didn’t think for a moment that she meant that. And he could get fucked. This was us.
“Yes. But I’ve seen a fair few people, men and women, explore their kinks over the years.” I leaned on one elbow and swept some stray hairs from her face. “Once they find out their kinks most never go back to vanilla. It’s like crack, cocaine, and a lottery ticket all rolled into one. ”
She blinked up at me, frowning. The woman was overthinking, again. There was no better way to prove she didn’t want me to back away than to show her.
I shifted to straddle her hips then I took her wrists, ignoring her yanks to get free.
“Hey!”
I gathered them in one hand and pinned them to the pillow above her head then I pressed my fingers over her mouth, firm and a little rough. After a few wriggles, her breathing ceased, and she shut her eyes. A moment later, Jazmine sucked in some deeper breaths through her nose and past my fingers. Her tongue licked out, once, like she was checking it was me.
Cute. My balls liked that.
Arousal. For sure. On my part too. I shifted to get my dick more comfortable.
Damn, the things I longed to do to this woman. Guilt flickered in. What Gregor was getting me to do was like handing a plate of lobster and caviar to a starving food lover.
I loosened my fingers, lightly slapped her face, and grabbed a nice big hold of one breast, crushing in a little until it had to hurt. Though her eyes flew open, she said nothing except a muffled fuck in surprise. I felt her hips arch upward.
I know my own eyes were wide as hell right then.
I checked her out, hard smile on my face. Damn, this was sexy.
“Plenty of time for a no there, but you didn’t say it, because you love me taking control.” I waited. “Don’t speak again while I look at you. If you do, I will punish you.”
Ja, for sure I would, I might even go beyond what she liked, just because I could.
Her small shudder thrilled me. I was dead on target, clearly. Her nipples had peaked, small and tight. I took my time examining my girl and handling her like she was my little pet ready for a show.
We should think up a safeword but then again, if she ever really said no, I’d stop, wouldn’t I? God, there was an extra added thrill to having no mechanism for her to stop me.
Exhilarating was the best description.
There was always that tendency to push. Dangerous, maybe. This situation begged me to go one better, harder, nastier. I could control it.
I could.
If there was one thing she stirred in me more than wanting to see her squeal and those red marks come into being on her skin, it was a desire to hide her away so that no one could harm her again. The difference between pain and harm had never been so clear to me. What I did to her, she wanted. What Gregor and his client wanted done to her could lead us god knew where. Sobering.
That night I convinced her to let me share the bed by simply telling her it was so. The satisfaction I got from that was immense. Ridiculous maybe, considering. Fuck though, I’d never had a woman react to me like this.
With Jazmine, now that I’d established who was boss, she was happier. Her smiles warmed me whenever I touched her, swatted her ass, kissed her, or grabbed her for a hug.
Elenor had been my only love after high school. We’d meshed like Ken and Barbie, discovered our love of the S and m dynamic together, ventured into the local Cape Town kinky scene and made some friends without being too involved. Being a cop had made me wary of outing myself, but I’d known all about Dominance and submission. Jazmine was submissive to me at least, maybe not to other men. One thing I’d learned from seeing my friends get their kink on was that everyone was a little different. No two relationships were the same.
If she responded submissively to me only, I didn’t give a fuck. If anything, I liked it better that way.
This was the most tragic of times to find a woman who seemed my kinky soul mate.
The longer I stayed here and suffered, the more this place would grind me down if I didn’t have a way to deflect. By helping her to survive, I was helping myself too. I wasn’t invincible in body or mind. Neither of us were.
My life motto came in handy. I was never giving up on getting both of us out of here alive and intact.
Chapter 14
How Pieter was steering us frightened me sometimes. I was still wrestling with it in my head when he obviously thought he had it sorted. He’d work that alpha dominant routine on me and I’d melt at his feet. So bloody disconcerting. Was I schizoid? The terrible things we did outside this little room of mine...of ours, were impacting on me. Even when I tried not to remember, they’d enter my head like a rude explosion. My fingers would be like ice, my heart sped up, my mind would grind to a halt while I relived terror.
Small things, like someone leaning on the door would make me jerk around and squeak. I was like a mouse.
I hated that. The scars on my mind must go so deep. How would I ever recover? It seemed impossible.
There was one thing that no matter how I turned it around seemed to spell doom. I didn’t want to ask Pieter for his opinion because if he agreed, it’d make it too real to bear. Besides, could I really trust him?
I fluffed the pillow into shape for the tenth time. The days in here forever see-sawed from boring to scary.
“You need a distraction. I have a good one. Bend over the bed and pull your dress up over your head so I can look at you.”
“Not now, Pieter.”
“Ja. Now.”
I protested, but I’d barely said the n in no when he pulled my hands behind my back and forced me over the bed. His knee squashed the edge of the mattress down then the first swat landed. It was hard enough to echo off the walls. I gasped, but dropped like a stone into that mind state where I desperately wanted to obey.
I knew this reaction well. It still stunned me.
It was three more hits before I could catch my breath and choke out, “I’m sorry.”
His grip on my wrists pressed in then he released me.
Without further prompting, I reached down and wriggled the dress up my body, baring myself.
“Spread your legs and tuck the dress over your head. I don’t want to see you look out. Understand, my sweet little disobedient meisie?” He punctuated that statement with one last forceful slap.
“Yes!” I blinked at the sheet before me and shivered. Meisie. The Afrikaans for girl did something to my head. The accent maybe? Who knew?
When he laid his hand on my back and pushed me deeper into the mattress, I bit the sheet to stifle my groan. When he laughed at my noise, I dampened between my legs.
I w
as beginning to look forward to him making me do things. I was sick. No matter what he said. I loved it. I hated it. I shut my eyes and waited.
For ages he seemed to stand behind me, then I heard him step closer and he pulled aside my ass cheeks. The grip hurt. Knowing he stared at my pussy was indescribably hot.
“Put your hands at your back and hold your wrist.”
I did so, drawing in an exultant breath when he growled approval. I was getting so wet he had to be seeing that too. As if to reinforce my thought, his finger drew a wavering line down my soaking wet seam then he thumbed apart my lips.
I shoved my mouth into the mattress and moaned quietly.
“Fok. Your hot klein poesie...”
Nothing more, but I could feel his stare and I trembled. What those words meant, I could guess. Arousal and submitting to him, they tumbled into one messy bewildering haze. I bit the sheet in frustration. I wanted, I needed, more of this. More of him making me. Just...making me.
When he’d had enough of looking and stroking, pinching and exposing me, like I was some pet project, he stripped off my dress and sat me on his lap. I curled up, my mind a little fuzzy. I sniffled and licked his chest. He said nothing, only touching me in a reassuring way, and I looked out at the twilight filtering through my window, wishing I could stay here with him surrounding me, forever.
He was so tender when like this, as if he needed the other before he could bring out his good side.
My question arrived and swirled around. Should I? With his chin resting on my head and his arms around me, I broke. My throat worked. Nothing came out then my question arrived almost before I knew I’d said it.
“What if I get pregnant?”
He stilled. “What?”
I guess he’d been off in his own thoughts.
“I’m afraid.” Say it. “Why are they letting you have sex with me without condoms or anything?”
“I thought you must have told them you were on one of those long-acting drugs. You’re not are you?”
“No,” I whispered, ever more afraid. “No. Besides, there’s STDs. This, to me, means they don’t care. And to not care about your slave getting pregnant means you don’t intend to sell her.”
“The pregnancy thing...”
“They mean to kill me, don’t they?”
“Shh. Don’t go there. Besides, I’ve been tested for diseases and Gregor will know that.”
That was good, I guessed. “But I can still get pregnant. Do you know how we can escape?” I lifted my head and looked into his troubled eyes.
“I said shh.” He put his finger to my lips then he rocked back onto the bed, taking me with him. After holding me tight, he put his mouth to my ear. “I’m sure they at least have audio bugs in here.”
My heart leapt into a terrified rhythm. Why hadn’t he said? We’d done so many things. “What if they have video?” I whispered back.
His shrug said maybe he didn’t know.
“Pieter?”
Did it matter? Apart from not letting them hear of our non-existent escape plans, we’d done nothing dirtier than what they’d seen before. Despair crept in. What was there about me that my captors hadn’t seen? I was an open book to them. A slut to be catalogued, poked, and sneered at while wanking.
“Stop crying.” He kissed my neck. “You know I’m not ever giving up. You need to enjoy what we have.”
I trembled some more but his big friendly hug, the scent of him, and the heavy movement of his body next to mine slowly calmed me. My eyelids drifted down.
When the guard stepped in through the door, it startled me. Pieter stood and dumped me off his lap to stand between me and the guard. I grabbed my dress and tugged it on.
The man was young, with dark wavy hair and he looked like he’d be a local. A raskol, as Pieter said the gang members here were called. His eyes were wild but he shut the door behind him in a measured way. On a belt at his waist were a revolver and a knife. Neither was drawn.
God. I stared at his weapons, eager to act, to get out of here if this was our chance. Shit-scared but ready. Pieter, my big strong ex-cop and merc, could surely have those off him in seconds, if he decided to do it. But was this some sort of trap?
Pieter waited, hands at his sides, but balanced on his feet, ready to pounce.
The man held out his palms, waving them at us, as if that could stop Pieter. “Don’t attack. I’m friend. I will help you. Yes?” He raised his brows, nodding. With his fresh face, I wondered if he was over eighteen. “I have key. This is end of my shift. You come out after five minutes. Okay?”
“Shh. You must be quiet.” Pieter put his finger across his mouth then he pointed at the walls.
The guard stopped talking and looked puzzled. Then alarm hit him and his gaze flitted about the room.
“Why are you doing this?” Suspicion leaked from Pieter’s whispered words. “Say it quiet. Say the truth.”
Though his face had gone red, the man-boy subsided, took a breath and continued. “I tell you.”
If anyone else was listening...
No video. Please not. I glanced around, as if I could suddenly see something that I hadn’t found after all these days.
The guard pulled a few faces, staring at the floor, then at Pieter. “I see polisman hurt bad by Gregor. Women too. I’m no pussy but that is bad. Today I leave this work and not come back. I have a key, in my pocket.”
Ohmigod. This was real. I wanted to leap up and dash through that door. I wanted to hug this boy for his goodness. I wanted to scream with joy. We wouldn’t get another chance like this. Fast. We had to be fast. I jittered on the bed, toes bouncing off the floor.
For a moment, Pieter looked over at me, frowning like he wanted to slap me calm. I scowled. I could handle this. I stuck a finger in my mouth and bit it.
This is happening!
It’d be nightfall soon and if we could reach the jungle around this place, that Pieter had seen over the wall, we might be able to lose ourselves in it.
“Okay.” Pieter stepped in and spoke an inch from this guy’s ear so I could barely hear. “We’re going to trust you. If you...”
Running footsteps had him raising his head. My heart lurched. The boots clattered to a halt at our door.
If the door had turned into a snake, it wouldn’t have drawn us all to stare at it so. I bit my finger harder, tears starting. This can’t be right. Rewind.
“Hey! We know you’ve got Ben in there. We know he’s trying to help you.”
No. Fuck no.
Ben. That was his name. His dark skin shone with sweat. His eyes looked ready to pop. While Pieter...he ran a hand over his head, like he was out on a job and someone had left the correct wrench in the wrong place. A little red and black tattoo of an octopus-like Cthulhu, that I’d never noticed before, rippled on the back of his shoulder.
“Hello in there.”
That new voice was like a spear to my heart.
Gregor.
“We also know, my little performers, that he has weapons. Do not think we will let you use them without punishing you. If anyone shoots or tries to hurt my men, I promise you that everyone in there, Jazmine first, then Pieter, then Benoni, will be skinned slowly.”
Cold prickled down my back. Gregor would do this.
“Fuck.” The boy guard jiggled from foot to foot and played with the butt of his gun.
After a single hissed remark from Pieter, he released the butt.
“If you do not hand the weapons out through the hatch, when I say to, and then open this door, I will skin you all.”
Pieter muttered and shot a ragged glance at me.
My finger was squashed so deep by my teeth, the dent bled at one corner.
“If, this is my last if, Pieter. This is just for you.”
Why only Pieter? A ringing sound sang in my mind.
“If you don’t want to be skinned, Mister Pieter, or your precious lady to be skinned while you watch, and trust me, I would enjoy this greatly...”<
br />
I shuddered.
“You must do this now. Kill Benoni.”
I think my heart beat three times. We were a frozen room of human sculptures.
Pieter punched the boy guard in the throat, stepped in when the boy retched, ripped his knife from the sheath, and plunged it into his stomach in an upward direction. I saw the twist he put to the knife stab, heard the wet thud as the knife entered the body and the sigh from the boy.
I don’t think he even managed to raise his hands. The knife must have punctured his heart.
If this was death, it was terrifying in its starkness. I blinked, and when I opened my eyes, Benoni was on the floor. He gasped twice, his body trembling. Blood leaked onto his pale blue shirt, staining it an almost innocent dark blue, before pooling on the floor where it miraculously turned red.
While I sat with my mouth open, gripping the bed to either side, as if that would stop me flying away, Pieter removed the gun from the belt holster. He went to the hatch, tapped to get them to open it, and pushed the knife and gun through.
The boy had stopped moving, not even his chest rose.
A thought wandered into my shattered mind. They had the room bugged for sound.
Jesus. What and who was this man I’d let kiss me?
Chapter 15
I’d never had children, but he was young and his blood stained my hands. I could still feel the drumming of his heart in my fingers. When I’d reached his heart, the beat had transmitted through the knife blade. This killing was a terrible thing, but it was done. Over. The past. I swallowed and dismissed my sorrow.
Looking at his body would do nothing. I tried to catch Jazmine’s eye but she stared at the floor, or at the boy, her hands caught between her knees. So quiet and lost.
Not good. Though I wished I could comfort her, it wasn’t possible.
“Step over here, Pieter, so we may restrain you. Then we can remove the young man’s body and make your room clean again.”
So many years of killing people and witnessing in-your-face violence had left me immune to wallowing in the emotion this sort of thing caused in others. I could wall it off. I backed up to the hatch. Once they’d manacled me, I followed orders and retreated to the shower area opposite. They hauled out his body then came in with a mop. Gregor did the last clean-up and wiped a towel over the wet area using his foot.
Seize me From Darkness (Pierced Hearts Book 4) Page 10