The Break-Up Diaries

by Ni-Ni Simone

  “Those cheerleaders, man. They’re pretty irresistible.”

  “Do you want me to tell you or not?”

  He nods. “Yes, I’m sorry. Please tell me.”

  “Well . . . I found out that she doesn’t really like him. It’s all some bet that she has with her real boyfriend. Each of them dates a geek. Whoever gets broken up with first loses.”

  “Man, y’all suburban kids ain’t got nothing better to do, huh? That’s just stupid, you know that right?”

  “I’m not participating in the game! I am an innocent bystander of the game! I am a victim of the game. I think it’s stupid too.”

  “All of y’all need jobs, just to keep y’all from dreaming up stupid stuff to do.” Kellin takes out two long foil pans and begins to load in the cleaned chicken.

  “Do you think I should tell my ex-boyfriend that the cheerleader doesn’t really like him?”

  Kellin places one pan of chicken on the counter and starts filling another. “Why would you tell him? Did he tell you when he started talking to the cheerleader? Did he tell you the exact moment he decided to get with her?”

  “No . . .”

  “Then you don’t owe him anything. Let him figure out on his own that his cheerleader isn’t really digging him.”

  “Well, I don’t want to do it because I feel like I owe him something. I don’t think that’s my reason at all.”

  Kellin taps his chin as if he’s thinking. Then he says, “Oh, I get it. You just want to tell him so you can rub it in. Wow.”

  “Is that bad? Me wanting to rub it in? He’s been mean to me.”

  “Well, my pastor always says that vengeance belongs to God and not man. Maybe you telling him this is something like revenge.”

  “Why do you think that?”

  “Because I can tell that you don’t want him back.”

  I shake my head. “No. You’re right about that. I absolutely don’t want him back.”

  “So you don’t need to be the one to say anything.”

  I chuckle a little bit. “How are you so wise? It’s like talking to a guru or something.”

  “I’m not wise at all. I have no idea how to get rid of a bug-a-boo.”

  “Who, Desiree?”

  “Yep. Desiree.”

  “Well why can’t you get rid of her? I mean . . . she knows that you can’t be the father of her baby. I don’t see what’s so complex about that.”

  “Can you keep a secret? This one I can’t hold in anymore.”

  I feel a little twinge of excitement. He wants to share his secret with me? Cheyenne would say that this is Kellin trying to holla at me.

  “I’m great at keeping secrets.”

  “There’s a chance that Desiree’s baby is mine.”

  I drop my butter knife on the table out of shock. This is the secret he wants to share with me? That he’s maybe got a girl pregnant? What would Cosmo Girl have to say about this?

  “So you hooked up with her after July?”

  “Yes, but only once. So, it’s slim, but there’s still a chance.”

  I nod slowly, gaining understanding. “So this is why Desiree comes up here acting like a fool? She thinks you’re her baby’s father.”

  “I could be.”

  “What will you do if you are?”

  He shrugs. “I’m sure everyone, including Desiree, would want me to still play football and go to college. Because if I go to the NFL, I’ll really be able to provide for a baby.”

  “That would suck though. For you and for the baby. Everyone else would be cool, except for the two of you.”

  “Yeah that would really suck.”

  “I hope it’s not yours.”

  “Me too.”

  “But you won’t know until it gets here.”

  “Nope.”

  All thoughts of flirting and crushes go out of my mind. Kellin’s got real stuff to deal with, potentially being a long-distance father. And the worst thing I can think of is Mario getting played by Dorie.

  At the end of the day, all of that is irrelevant. Again, Kellin’s life has taught me a lesson about my life . . . in five years nobody’s going to remember Crash and Burn and whether I ever kissed Mario behind the bleachers.

  I just have to get through the next two weeks.

  11

  “I don’t really want to go to this party, Cheyenne. I know it’s the New Year and all, but I have no desire to party with anyone from Lewisville High School. Plus, it’s cold.”

  Cheyenne ignores me and continues taking out clothes. She looks good. She’s got on a silver shimmery sequined top, black leggings, and boots. There’s a big silver flower in her gigantic hair, and hoop earrings in her ears. She never puts on makeup. She doesn’t have to, because her skin is so pretty. The freckles that pepper the bridge of her nose almost look like beauty marks.

  “You’re going to this party because everyone needs to know that you are straight. And you are. You’re not thinking about Mario’s stupid self, nor Dorie’s little game. And you’ve got a new boo at your new job . . .”

  “Halt! What the heck are you talking about? I don’t have a new boo! If I do, no one told me about him.”

  “Girl, stop playing! You know I mean Kellin. He’s coming to the party, right?”

  I shake my head with confusion. “Kellin is not my new boo. He is a new friend.”

  “Why is he not a new boo. Does he have a girlfriend ?”

  I think about Desiree. “Um . . . it’s kind of complicated. I guess that’s the best way to put it.”

  “But he is coming to the party, though. Even if he’s not your new boo, everyone will think that he is.”

  “I invited Kellin and his sister Kellita. They’re twins.”

  Cheyenne asks, “She’s the hood chick that works the register, right?”

  “Yep.”

  “The one with the tattoo of the flower on her chest.”

  I nod. “That’s her. Do you have a problem with me inviting her?”

  Cheyenne shakes her head. “I’m just interested to see what happens. This is a social experiment if you will. I love social experiments.”

  “You suck, Cheyenne! This is not a social experiment. This is me inviting my new friends to a stupid party that I don’t really want to go to, but I’m being forced to attend, by my overly pushy best friend.”

  “Simmer down! You always start spitting run on paragraphs when you get stressed. Dial it back a little bit mama. No one is attacking your new friends from the hood.”

  I move my index finger up and down in front of Cheyenne’s face, like I’m pressing a button.

  “What are you doing?” Cheyenne asks.

  “This is me pressing the dislike button on you! I never knew you were a mean girl. When did you get to be a mean girl?”

  “I’m not mean, but there is a certain level of decorum I expect out of my friends. And I can just see Kellita’s ghetto self causing drama at the party.”

  “They’re actually not ghetto at all. She and Kellin work really hard and she’s going to college for Computer Science.”

  “Someone said she has like three kids. How is she going to college?”

  “She has two babies. They’re twins. She ended up with a two for one special. That doesn’t make her any less smart than we are. I’m going to need you to be a bigger person than that.”

  “Listen. If I didn’t think your new friends were okay, I would’ve tried to talk you out of inviting them. It’s cool.”

  “Cool. But what about you and Todrick? Are you going together? As a couple?”

  Cheyenne bursts into laughter. “No. I do not like Todrick.”

  I grin, but keep my comments to myself. I know that Cheyenne likes Todrick, but for some reason she’s placed herself in denial, and that is not a good place to be!

  “What’s wrong with Todrick? He’s cute. His hair is so dark and curly. He’s got the best hair of all the boys in the school.”

  Cheyenne holds up a little pink dress a
nd says, “This is what you should wear. I have some bracelets that would really set this off. And I like this one shoulder strap thing.”

  “But it’s cold. I’ll need a jacket with that.”

  “So wear a jacket. Just take it off when we get inside the party.”

  “Okay. So what about Todrick? Don’t you think he’s cute? He’s awesome, right?”

  Cheyenne places the dress on the table and gives me an evil look. “Did Todrick put you up to this? I know he likes me. He’s been on me for a minute.”

  “So, why don’t you give him some play? He’s a great guy! How you gonna leave him hanging like that?”

  “I’m not. As soon as he does it the right way, then I might just holla back.”

  I shake my head. “Cheyenne, what is he doing wrong? He doesn’t read Cosmo Girl, you know.”

  “Whatever. This has nothing to do with Cosmo Girl, and everything to do with the fact that he’s never once approached me for real, like a true gentleman.”

  “OMG! A true gentleman? Seriously?”

  “Yes. That’s what my daddy always says. The guy should approach me like a gentleman.”

  “What does that mean? And even more importantly, does Todrick know what it means?”

  “I don’t know exactly. But I have a feeling I’ll know it when I see it.”

  I shrug and pick up the pink dress. “Okay, I’ll rock this dress on one condition.”

  “Ha! I don’t do conditions. I don’t care what you wear!”

  “Cheyenne . . . come on!”

  “All right. What are your stupid conditions?”

  “Just promise me that if Todrick makes his move, that you don’t embarrass him.”

  Cheyenne smiles. “If Todrick makes a move . . . like a true gentleman would . . . I will not embarrass him.”

  OMG! Dealing with two friends with crushes is the worst thing ever. But, it really is helping me get over Mario.

  Something else that’s helping me get over Mario is my brand new friend. I know that Kellin has drama going on right now, and I’m not ready for a new boyfriend anyway. But, the fact that I’m very excited to see him and hang out with him is a good sign.

  It’s a sign that maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop bursting into tears when I think about my first date with Mario. And that everything, somewhere down the line, is going to be okay.

  12

  Our class has parties for everything, and New Year’s Eve is no different. Everyone’s at the Main Event with party clothes on like we’re on Times Square watching the ball drop. There are a handful of parent chaperones to make sure that no one does anything crazy. I’m glad they’re here, because my parents wouldn’t let me come if they weren’t.

  Cheyenne and I walk in together, both looking too cute to be coming to a place that serves greasy pizza and soft drinks. We should be going out on the town or something.

  “Good! We got here early enough to grab a table. I hate when we have to stand up. My feet already hurt in these shoes.” Cheyenne directs my attention to her very cute Jessica Simpson black sequined stilettos.

  As we sit down, I scan the room, looking for trouble—namely Mario and Dorie. I wonder if someone has told Mario about the game yet. I made my threat to Mandy and Ashley a few days ago. I’m sure it’s gotten back to Dorie that I said I was going to spill her secret.

  I see Dorie’s crew, but not Dorie. And there’s no sign of Mario either. Hmm . . . this is all bad.

  Todrick walks into the party and waves at us. Cheyenne looks away like she’s uninterested, but I do see the faint smile on her face, so I know that she is.

  “Your boy’s here,” I say.

  “Shut up! He’s not my boy yet.”

  Kellin and Kellita walk in right behind Todrick and I stand up to wave them over. Todrick takes his time getting over to the table. He’s stopping at different groups and saying hello. It’s cracking me up, because some of the people he’s talking to aren’t even cool with him! He’s just stalling!

  I give Kellita a hug when they get to the table and Kellin gives me a one armed hug, kinda like a ‘hey buddy’ hug. It’s cool. I don’t think I can handle anything outside of buddy right now.

  “So, Kellita and Kellin, this is my best friend Cheyenne. Cheyenne, meet Kellin and Kellita.”

  Cheyenne gives them a wide and genuine smile. I feel relieved, because after that conversation we had earlier, I didn’t know how she was going to come at them.

  “Nice to meet y’all,” Cheyenne says. “I’ve heard so much about both of you. Zoey can’t stop talking about how great y’all are.”

  Kellita bursts into laughter. “Well, she must be talking about me, because she and Kellin get into an argument just about every other day at the restaurant. She called him ignorant right out the box!”

  “Those are not arguments,” Kellin explains. “They are debates. We debate stuff. Zoey is pretty good, but I’m better. Sometimes I let her feel like she’s getting the upper hand, but then I swoop in at the end and remind her that she doesn’t.”

  “Boy please,” I say. “I always have the upper hand.”

  Kellin beams at me and then looks around. “Where’s your other friend, Todrick?”

  “He’s here, but he’s making his rounds. He’ll be over here in a minute,” I reply. I’m not going to put him on blast to these newcomers. They don’t need to know that he’s nervous about Cheyenne.

  “That’s not who I want to see,” Kellita says. “Where’s the fool that played you for the cheerleader ?”

  Cheyenne snickers under her breath. “The fool is nowhere to be seen, and he probably won’t show up.”

  “He’ll be here,” I reply. “The entire glee club is supposed to be here.”

  Todrick finally gets to the table and gives hugs and daps all the way around.

  “I feel like I know y’all already,” Todrick says to Kellin and Kellita. “I heard y’all been teaching my homegirl how to cook.”

  “I already knew how to cook Todrick. Don’t play.”

  “Hot dogs and Jiffy corn muffins is not cooking, baby,” Kellita says.

  She looks down and checks her phone. I see her face go from jolly to alarmed in an instant.

  “Is everything okay, Kellita?” I ask.

  She sighs. “My daughter has a fever. I think she might have an ear infection or something.”

  Cheyenne lifts an eyebrow and looks at me. I know her well enough to know what she’s thinking. Kellita has drama that we don’t even wish we knew about.

  “I gotta go make a phone call. I’ll be right back.”

  Kellin looks after his sister with concern, then with a smile on his face, turns to Todrick and asks, “How did you end up with two hot girls for best friends? I need you to teach me a thing or two.”

  “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Todrick says.

  “You have to hear all about their boyfriends, and their ex-boyfriends. And then don’t think you can transition that into a date. They’re looking at you crazy.”

  Cheyenne looks away, and tries to pretend that she’s not in the conversation.

  “Who’s looking at you crazy?” I ask. “You’ve never asked me out on a date. I would’ve gone.”

  “Yeah, right, Ms. Mario, oh Mario, where for art thou Mario?” Todrick says. “A brotha like me would’ve been on the sidelines looking in.”

  Kellin says, “Mario is over and done with now, right? So go ahead and get your mack on!”

  “Well, honestly, I’m not really feeling Zoey,” Todrick says.

  “Forget you, too then!” I reply.

  “And plus,” Todrick continues, “I’m not much of a mack. I’m more of a gentleman, you know?”

  As much as I try to contain my smile, I can’t. Cheyenne kicks me under the table, and I pretend to not feel it.

  “I do think it’s possible to transition from friend to boyfriend,” Kellin says. “It just takes some time and probably the opportunity. Like maybe your friend has to deal with a rea
lly thoughtless jerk to appreciate you.”

  “Or maybe she’ll just open her eyes one day,” Cheyenne says, “and see you like she’s never seen you before.”

  My eyes widen as a huge grin blossoms onto Todrick’s face. If that wasn’t an opening, then I don’t know what was.

  “Kellin,” I say. “Can I ask you a question in private ? It’s about work.”

  Kellin gives me a weird look and then says, “Okay . . .”

  I pull Kellin away from the table and walk him over to the buffet that’s full of goodies. I hand him a plate.

  “I’m not hungry,” he says. “I ate before I came.”

  “Just get a plate anyway. We need to stay away from the table long enough for Todrick to make his move.”

  “His move? Oh. Oh! He likes Cheyenne?”

  I nod. “Yep. They’ve been arguing back and forth forever. I think they’re just now realizing that there is a crush factor going on.”

  “How’s that gonna work if they hook up? Will your little trio be ruined?”

  I shrug. “Probably. They’ll more than likely gross me out on a consistent basis. Especially, since I don’t have a boyfriend right now. At least I do have other friends.”

  “Don’t look now, but there’s a latino looking dude staring at you.”

  I chuckle. “Really? Put your arm around me.”

  “Somebody is being messy,” Kellin says.

  “Can I please, just have this moment?”

  Kellin smiles and does me one better than putting his arm around me. He hugs me from behind and kisses my cheek. Okay, I know this is pretend . . . but dang . . . I could get to like this.

  “Mission accomplished,” Kellin says. “Your friend just stormed away. Was it Mario?”

  “Yep.” I entangle myself from Kellin’s embrace and start loading appetizers onto my plate. When I’m nervous, I eat. Mario staring at me with Kellin and then getting mad about it makes me totally nervous.

  “Are you okay?” Kellin asks.

  “Yes. I just didn’t expect him to be mad about me with someone else. What does that mean? Does it mean he still likes me?”

  Kellin shrugs. “Not necessarily. Guys are territorial, you know? He might not want to get back with you, but he’s probably still mad to think you’re with someone else. Especially someone as fly as me.”