The Break-Up Diaries

by Ni-Ni Simone

  “Why?”

  “I told my parents you were going with me.”

  “What . . . why did you do that, Jay? That’s got to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” Now I felt almost obligated to go to the dance with him. But that had to be his plan. He would tell his parents so I would feel obligated to go to the dance with him. And I knew he would also tell my mom. And here it comes . . .

  “I don’t know, it just kind of slipped out. My parents were asking if I had a date. I said yeah and then when they asked if I had a picture of you, I showed them your Facebook page.”

  “O. M. G. You did not just put me out there like that.”

  He dropped his head. He really looked sad. He liked me but I didn’t really like him. That to me was one of the worst feelings, when you liked somebody and they didn’t like you. I had been in Jay’s shoes before. But I was still pissed that he had told his parents that I was going to the dance with him.

  I pushed his arm away from the locker. I didn’t like the fact that he had blocked me in. Mr. Jay Carter had blocked me in twice. At my locker and the Christmas dance. While I could walk around him at my locker, there was no escaping the Christmas dance and he knew this. I didn’t like that he was trying to force me to go with him. I felt bad for the guy, but I didn’t like this guilt trip.

  I took a deep breath, then said, “Hey, I’ll go. I will go with you.” I had to wrap my mind around this new plan. Though I was going to the dance with the wrong date, it was up to me on whether I’d enjoy myself.

  “Really?” A huge grin covered his face. The way the dude was smiling, you would think he’d just gotten the new iPhone or something.

  “Yeah, Jay, but we’re going to the dance and straight home.” I didn’t want him to think this was a romantic date. Far from it.

  “That’s fine with me.” He was still smiling hard. It was hard to not smile back, so I finally smiled back.

  “Gotta get to gym class. I will talk to you later.”

  3

  I didn’t hear from or see DeMarco for the rest of the week. I wondered what was going on with him, but I wasn’t about to play myself running behind him and getting up in his business, so I fell back and did me for the rest of the week. Finally, on Friday night, DeMarco called and said he wanted to go out.

  “Shorty, let’s make this a double date. You got a friend you can bring along?”

  I hated double dates, but I needed a reason to wear my new dress from BCBG that I had gotten from Dad for my birthday. It was a beautiful electric blue with a black belt. I wanted to wear it with my mom’s black Jimmy Choo shoes. I even had an electric blue thong that DeMarco was not going to see.

  I invited Candace and DeMarco’s friend was Lil Jimmy from DeMarco’s neighborhood. Lil Jimmy was only five foot six inches, but he had a huge attitude and was funny as hell.

  When DeMarco pulled up to my house, Candace and I were ready to go. I rode shotgun, while Candace and Lil Jimmy claimed their space in the backseat. Before we pulled away from the curb, Lil Jimmy was telling stories about him and DeMarco. They had known each other since they were babies. Their moms had pushed them in strollers together. They were two months apart, with Jimmy being a couple of months older. Out the corner of my eye, I could see Lil Jimmy occasionally put his hand on Candace’s thigh.

  Jimmy was telling us about the time DeMarco got in trouble in grade school. “So this dude peed in a milk carton beside his nap mat.”

  “What? Why?” I asked, giggling. This story was getting interesting.

  DeMarco said, “My mom told me she was gonna whip my butt if I had pissed in my clothes again.”

  I laughed hard, imagining a little DeMarco peeing in a milk carton, then laying back down on his little mat.

  “So you’d rather deal with the teacher than your mom?” Candace asked.

  “Hell yeah. My mom didn’t play.”

  “Yeah, I miss Ms. Brenda.” Lil Jimmy said. “But dude, my mom is now your mom.” I could tell he meant it. DeMarco and Lil Jimmy clearly were like brothers. “You know she calls you her son. She washes your clothes and feeds you whenever you want something to eat. She trusts you more than she trusts me and she’s said that on more than one occasion.”

  DeMarco laughed. “Yeah, his mom and my mom had known each other since they were kids. They were close, too. Almost like sisters, and since I don’t really deal with my aunties, his mom is like my mama.”

  But I wondered if he really looked at Jimmy’s mom like a mother. I couldn’t imagine that they could have the same bond. But I thought it was great that DeMarco had a mother figure in his life.

  Jimmy said, “On a lighter note, I got some smoke,” pulling out some weed the color of spinach. The smell was so strong that it burned my nose.

  “I knew I smelled weed,” Candace said.

  Now, I didn’t mind the smell of weed and didn’t care if others smoked, but I knew Candace wouldn’t be okay with it.

  Jimmy smiled, showing all his teeth. “This is the bomb right here.”

  “Come on, dude, you’re going to make all us go to jail because you wanna get high.” Candace complained, giving Jimmy the stink eye.

  “Go to jail?” Jimmy said, holding up his smoke sack. He shook his head. “This ain’t enough to go to jail about, this is just some personal stuff. The most that will happen is that I will get a ticket. Nobody is going to jail and if we get pulled over, I will just stuff it in my crotch.”

  Candace snickered. “Stuffing it in your crotch would be a genius move if they couldn’t smell. I’ve been smelling this stuff since I got in the car.”

  This double date had officially hit the rocks.

  When Lil Jimmy rolled up a cigar-sized blunt, I turned to DeMarco. “He’s not going to smoke that, is he?”

  Candace leaned in toward me and said, “We don’t smoke.” She looked at me.

  “Nope, we sure don’t,” I agreed.

  “What?” Jimmy said. His expression said You have got to be kidding, right? “I thought everybody smoked. At least everybody in my circle smokes.”

  I looked at DeMarco. “You smoke?”

  “From time to time, I blaze.”

  Jimmy chuckled. “I blaze every day.”

  DeMarco probably blazed every day too if Jimmy was his best friend.

  “Put the weed up, Jimmy. They don’t wanna smoke.”

  “Naw, I will smoke by myself,” Jimmy said.

  The look on Candace’s face made me feel that I had to stop Jimmy from sparking.

  “Hey Jimmy, I don’t want that stuff all in my clothes,” I said.

  “Stop the car, man. I’ll get out and smoke.”

  “Not now, Jimmy. Just relax, man. We can do that later,” DeMarco said.

  Just then I realized I had no idea where we were headed. We’d left my neighborhood behind a while ago and were near the mall. In the visor’s mirror, it looked like Jimmy was stuffing the plastic baggie back in his pocket.

  “So what’s next?” he leaned toward Candace and wrapped his hand around her waist. She didn’t stop him so I knew she was cool with him now that he’d put away his weed. Otherwise, she would have checked him right on the spot. I’d seen her slap dudes for feeling on her.

  Just then I remembered that Candace’s parents were out of town.

  “Candace, let’s go to your house and watch some Dave Chappelle.” I leaned toward DeMarco and flashed my dimples. “And get acquainted more,” I added just for him.

  “I’d like that.” Jimmy grinned, and I peeked his hand moving between Candace’s legs.

  Candace slapped his jaw.

  “What was that for, shorty?”

  Candace snapped, “Come on, Jimmy. I’m taller than you.”

  “Yeah, true . . . until we lay down. Then we’re the same size.”

  I looked back at Candace. She was still smiling, but now I couldn’t tell if she was enjoying herself. Jimmy had invaded her private space. She didn’t know him like that. I was hoping that they
could at least remain friendly; didn’t want them to ruin me and DeMarco’s time together.

  DeMarco asked, “Can we at least get something to drink if we go back to her crib?”

  Both Candace and I said, “No, we don’t drink.”

  Jimmy sighed. “Yo, these girls are tripping, man.”

  DeMarco looked disgusted and I felt that the date was not going well. We had become bored with each other. I was used to this happening when I dated bad boys, especially when it came down to drinking and doing drugs. No matter how I might want to fit in, I just simply couldn’t get with the whole drinking and drugging thing.

  “So where do you live?” DeMarco asked Candace.

  “Ridgewood Forest.”

  “What?” Jimmy screamed. His face was full of amazement. “You live over there, shorty?” He looked hard at Candace.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “No wonder this chick is acting all uppity.”

  “I ain’t stuck up.”

  “I didn’t say stuck up, I said uppity.”

  DeMarco said, “Damn, you’re a rich chick, huh?”

  “Hell, no. I wish I was rich.” Candace said, then pulled me into it. “And Zori practically lives around the corner from me.”

  I knew she was going to say that. She always told people I lived around the corner from her because most of the people knew Ridgewood Forest had half-million-dollar homes and just so she wouldn’t be singled out for being a snob she would tell everybody I lived near her, too. Insinuating that I was rich. I did live close to her, but I lived in another neighborhood with smaller homes, but they were still nice compared to where DeMarco and Jimmy were from.

  “Rich bitches,” Jimmy said.

  “Bitches?” Candace said. She rolled her eyes at Jimmy.

  “Ha. Ha. Ha.” Jimmy laughed faintly but nobody else did. De Marco’s face showed he was annoyed.

  “Nobody’s rich. I’m from a single parent home, my mom is a nurse struggling just like everybody else,” I said. This is the truth. Even though my Dad was in my life and he supported me, we were by no means rich. Candace’s family was in a better financial situation than we were, but she wasn’t rich either. But maybe it seemed like we were rich compared to them.

  “I’m rich!” DeMarco said emphatically as he pulled out a wad of money like he’d pulled out at the pizza parlor. The money was bound with rubber bands and it just looked as if it was gained by some sort of illegal activity.

  I glanced at it. Looked to be at least a thousand dollars in twenties. Not what I would call rich, but it was still a lot of money for a high school kid. The money was both a turn off and a turn on. A turn off because he had bragged about what he had and it turned me on because he had gotten that money by any means necessary. But I wished he would not have pulled that money out in front of Candace and I wished Jimmy had not pulled out his weed. I knew I would hear about this later from Candace. She’ll try to chastise me and tell me why I shouldn’t be with DeMarco. None of this I would want to hear. DeMarco and Jimmy had just given her ammunition for making her case.

  “Can we just go to my house?” Candace said.

  DeMarco finally agreed and followed Candace’s directions to her house.

  As we pulled up to her McMansion, I had to admit it did look like something from a rap video. Once inside, we all sat in the den and watched Chappelle until Jimmy said to Candace, “Show me around the mansion.”

  She giggled. “This ain’t no mansion.”

  “It’s the closest thing I’ll ever get to a mansion. I’m telling you, shorty, I feel like I’m on MTV Cribs,” Jimmy said as Candace stood and led him by the hand toward the basement.

  When DeMarco and I were alone, he pulled out his phone. Was he about to call someone when I was sitting right up under him? Rude!

  “Hey, babe. I wanna take a picture of us,” he said. I guess I had the wrong idea. I moved in closer to him and wrapped my arm around his shoulders as he snapped a shot of us with his camera phone. I knew that picture was going to be hot ’cause we made a cute couple.

  He stashed his phone in his pocket and put his hand on my thigh. I pushed it away and he did it again and I pushed it away again. He was not going to see my blue thong tonight.

  He just looked at me without saying a word, his gaze really intense. I could tell he wasn’t used to resistance from girls.

  Finally, he asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong,” I said. I scooted over toward him on the sofa and put my hand on his hand. We just stared at each other.

  He cracked a smile, like he knew something I didn’t. “You must be worried about Jay.”

  “I told you Jay is not my boyfriend, we’re just going to the dance together.”

  “So you decided to go to the dance with him after all?”

  “Yeah, well you said you wouldn’t be caught dead at the dance.”

  “And I wouldn’t. Nothing has changed,” he said, then he put his hand behind my head bringing my face close to his. Our lips locked. He was a good kisser, but our rhythm was off. His teeth crashed into my lip. I whispered, “Slow down, babe.”

  Just then Candace bolted in the room, screaming. “I want you to make that faggot get out of my house, DeMarco.”

  DeMarco and I stood up from the sofa and stared at Candace. Her hair was disheveled and her blouse was unbuttoned. Tears rolled down her cheek. I ran to her side and put my arms around her. “What’s wrong?”

  “He tried to rape me.”

  “What?” DeMarco said.

  “Yeah, we were in the basement and he grabbed my booty and I told him to stop then. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me toward him. Forced me to kiss him and threw me on the floor and ripped my blouse off. He kept saying, ‘Shorty, you know you want it.’”

  Jimmy appeared, laughing as he held his pants up. “She’s lying. Didn’t nobody do all of that. Besides, she kept bending over like she wanted it. Trust me, bro, I know when somebody wants it and she wanted it. She was teasing me.”

  “Did I say I wanted you?”

  “You didn’t have to, shorty. Look at what you got on. Why are you wearing those tight jeans, if you don’t want me to look at you.”

  “Look but don’t touch.”

  “You tripping, shorty, we take you out for a spin and show you a good time and I don’t get no goods. What part of the game is that?”

  It was time for me to step in. “This ain’t no game. This is real life. That’s your problem—you think everything is a game, Jimmy,” I said. I felt obligated at that point to say something. Felt obligated to protect my friend. “Jimmy, you’ve done nothing but brought negative energy here all night.”

  “Get this dude outta my house, I don’t want to see him again.”

  DeMarco walked over to Jimmy. I guess he wanted to hear Jimmy’s version of the story. I didn’t care about his version. Candace was my friend and I believed her. As far as I was concerned her version was the only version.

  He pulled Jimmy aside, and it looked as if he didn’t want us to hear what he had to tell Jimmy.

  But we did. Jimmy shouted, “That broad is lying, DeMarco. She just kept bending over, she wanted me to push up on her.”

  “Dude, I bent over to straighten up the magazines,” Candace said.

  “Oh, yeah right like straightening some damn magazines was that important, you wanted me to notice you, I saw how you were looking at me.”

  “Get this dude outta my house. As a matter of fact, both of you D Boys get outta my house.”

  Dang, I wished Candace hadn’t have called them D Boys. Though we both knew DeMarco was a drug dealer, I didn’t want him to think that’s what I felt about him. Calling them D Boys gave me away.

  DeMarco glanced at me and then looked at Jimmy. Then he stared at Candace. His expression said that Candace had messed up his night. But I was still on Candace’s side.

  Finally, I said, “DeMarco, I think you and Jimmy should leave. I will call you later, but really I
think you should go.” I could see that DeMarco wanted to get something off his chest. I just hoped the situation wasn’t going to escalate.

  “Wassup with your friend just talking to me any kind of way?”

  “What did I say that was so wrong, DeMarco? I called you a D Boy. So you’re saying that you’re not a drug dealer?”

  “Listen, you don’t know what I do.” DeMarco stared at her. He looked as if he wanted to slap her, but I hope he knew that was not going to happen. He turned to me and said, “Listen, I’m really sorry, shorty.”

  Jimmy butted in with “Sorry for what? We ain’t do shit to be sorry about.”

  DeMarco grabbed Jimmy’s arm and led him to the door. Jimmy fumbled with his belt and zipped his pants up. This dude was indeed scum as far as I was concerned. I didn’t ever want to see him again.

  Before DeMarco closed the door, he glanced back at me and said, “I’m gonna call you later. Maybe we can hook up.”

  “Maybe,” I said as I held Candace. I’d have to calm my girl down before I made plans to meet up with him.

  Candace had a lot to say about Jimmy, but after about an hour I was able to break free from her and head on out. Candace let me borrow her car so I could get home, so I texted DeMarco to meet me at the entrance of Candace’s neighborhood. I followed him to an apartment on the other side of town. It was a very nice apartment, but plain. It was decorated in white leather furniture, and there were no pictures on the walls. I could tell it was a guy’s apartment.

  “So whose place is this?” I asked

  “It’s my brother’s,” he said.

  “The same brother that let you drive his truck.”

  “Yeah.”

  Now I was kind of nervous and wondered if there were drugs stashed in the place. The last thing I needed was to go be hauled off to jail. My mom would kill me. My mind began to race. This had to be some sort of stash house, or else there would be pictures. This place didn’t even look like it was lived in.

  “He knows you’re here?”

  “I got the key, don’t I?”