The Break-Up Diaries

by Ni-Ni Simone

  A room? I didn’t want to go to a room with Jay. Didn’t want to put myself in that position. Because clearly this Adrianna girl was ready to do whatever Kevin wanted her to do with him and I was not at that place with Jay.

  “I’m going home.”

  “You know Jay really likes you.”

  I smiled but didn’t say anything.

  “I mean he rented that Hummer and everything. Not many guys would do that.”

  I hoped this heifer wasn’t insinuating that just because Jay had rented a Hummer that I owed him something because I didn’t owe him a thing.

  “I like Jay, too.”

  “But you’re not going to the room with us?”

  “Listen, Jay and I didn’t discuss no room.”

  My phone buzzed. It was a text from Candace.

  So Adrianna is your new best friend. How fast we move on.

  I texted her back.

  Whatever

  When Adrianna and I stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Candace and two other girls standing nearby. As we passed them Candace rolled her eyes.

  When we reached Jay and Kevin, Jay said, “I saw your girl Candace.”

  “Did she speak?”

  “Yeah, why?” He looked confused.

  “Oh, nothing . . . Nothing at all.”

  “You guys are still friends aren’t you?”

  “Yes,” I lied. I didn’t want to talk about it.

  Adrianna put her arms around Kevin. An edited version of Gucci Mane’s song was playing. All the music was edited, the radio version, but most of us had heard the explicit versions. I was sure many of the staff and chaperones had not.

  Jay held my hand and said, “I’m really glad you came.”

  I smiled and he smiled. I was a little lightheaded. Still thinking about Candace. I really missed her. I looked past him to where Candace stood across the room and we made eye contact. She looked away.

  My phone buzzed again. Text from DeMarco.

  I got a room in the hotel, room 322. Come up after the dance.

  I don’t know why, but a part of me wanted to go see him after the dance. This would be entirely disrespectful to Jay, and my mom would kill me if she knew. But wait! Why did DeMarco get the room? How did he get the room? He’s underage but maybe that doesn’t mean anything anymore. Kevin got a room across town.

  Smitty featuring Rick Ross came on. Died In Your Arms Tonight. I love that song, so I led Jay to the dance floor. I felt so good, so liberated. Music does that for me, especially songs I like. Adrianna and Kevin danced next to us. Adrianna moved closer to me, sandwiching me to Jay.

  Mr. Patterson, the assistant principal, was suddenly at our side. “Ladies, you’re dancing too close.”

  We both backed away, laughing. I had to admit I was having fun, more fun than I’d had in a long time. I felt different; maybe it was the alcohol. Now I wanted some more.

  “Adrianna, come with me to the bathroom.”

  Once inside the restroom, “Do you have any more liquor?”

  Her eyes lit up. “Yes.”

  She dug into her clutch again and handed me a mini bottle of Ciroc.

  “This is the last one.”

  “I don’t wanna take your last.”

  “No, it’s the last one in my clutch. Kevin and I have more in the car.”

  “Okay, great.” I downed it with one swallow. It burned on the way down.

  My phone buzzed. It was another text from DeMarco.

  Are you coming to see me or not?

  I text back: Maybe

  DeMarco: I need to know

  Me: Why? So if I don’t come you can call one of your other girls?

  DeMarco: You tripping

  Me: You miss me?

  DeMarco: I love you.

  He loves me? Whatever. I hope he don’t expect me to believe that. I know he doesn’t love me, but I am tempted to go up to that room, just to see what kind of seduction he thinks would work on me. Hmmm . . .

  “Who’s texting you like that?” Adrianna asked.

  “My mom,” I lied.

  “Yeah, my mom has texted me a few times tonight, too.”

  Adrianna passed me two pieces of gum.

  “Thank you,” I said. I decided I wanted to go see DeMarco.

  When we stepped outside the restroom, I saw Candace again with her date. I attempted to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm. “Can we talk?”

  I turned to face her and before either of us could say anything we embraced.

  “I missed you,” she said. She held me tight, I could feel her heart beat. I really missed her, too.

  When we released each other, she said, “Zori, you’ve been drinking.”

  I blushed but didn’t say anything. I thought the Altoid had covered it up, but apparently not.

  Adrianna jumped in, confirming what I wanted to deny. “We got more in the car.”

  Great, thanks!

  Candace gave Adrianna the stink eye. “No thank you, honey. I don’t drink, I am underage.”

  I giggled. “It’s a big night.”

  “A big night? This is a school dance. What’s so big about it?” Candace asked.

  “Don’t you go and tell on me,” I said. Did I just slur my words?

  “Zori, I’m disappointed but I’m not going to tell on you.”

  “I’ll see you before I leave,” I said.

  Candace looked at me like I disgusted her. “Okay.”

  Adrianna and I walked over to find Kevin and Jay talking to these two girls. One of them was Crystal Rose, the other one I had seen before but I didn’t know her name. Crystal was an average looking girl. I could see why she was at the dance alone. The other girl was very pretty and Jay was talking to her. He was trying to play me out.

  I stepped in between them. “Jay, can we talk?”

  He was startled. He stepped around me and said,” Excuse me,” to the pretty girl.

  She smiled and the look on her face said I can have your man if I want to, but I don’t want this bum. I knew the look because I used the look often.

  “What is wrong with you?” Jay asked.

  “What is wrong with you is the question?” I said. Hands on my waist ready to go into combat.

  “Have you been drinking?”

  “You know I’ve been drinking, I’ve been drinking with you.”

  “Champagne yes, but we only had a little bit.”

  “Well, I’ve had some other liquor, too but I ain’t drunk and that definitely don’t give you the right to play me out.”

  “Nobody’s playing you out. We’re just having conversation.”

  “Yeah, but did you have to be all up in that girl’s face? You came to the dance with me.”

  He put his arm around my waist and pulled me close and smiled. “Look who’s jealous.”

  I freed myself from him. “Trust me, I ain’t hardly jealous and if I was jealous it wouldn’t be of that bum chick.”

  “I think you are,” he said.

  Adrianna came over and said, “Hope y’all can come with us tonight.”

  “Come where?” Jay asked.

  “Kevin didn’t tell you we got a room across town?”

  Jay looked at me and asked, “Do you wanna go?”

  “Not sure.” I was being coy because now I had two invitations to weigh.

  “I think we should go; it could be fun.”

  I hoped he didn’t think that I was going to make out with him because he had rented a Hummer. I was not feeling him like that, so I was amazed that I was jealous that he was talking to that girl. My emotions had gotten the best of me. My emotions and the alcohol. I did like him, but now he probably thought that I liked him more than I actually did.

  “I will get you home at a decent hour.”

  “Jay, I don’t know about going to a room,” I said.

  Candace texted: Where y’all going after the dance?

  Me: I don’t know

  The pretty girl came over and said, “Jay I will see you at schoo
l on Monday.”

  He smiled. His facial expression said he would devour her if he had a chance. He was really in tune with her. I wondered why he wanted me so much when it was obvious to me that he could have this girl if he wanted and she was very pretty. I think the fact that I didn’t want him made him want me more. I rolled my eyes.

  DeMarco texted: I need to see you.

  I texted: I need to see you more.

  I didn’t even feel guilty anymore about wanting to be with DeMarco. Jay had a girl in the wings, and following after me was a waste of his time.

  Kevin came over and pulled Jay aside. They looked in the direction of Crystal Rose and the pretty girl. They both were smiling. Adrianna seemed oblivious that Kevin and Jay were flirting right in our faces. I approached her. “I’m leaving.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  With my hands on my waist, I said. “There is no way that I’m going to just stand here and let him flirt in my face. I’m not going to be disrespected by nobody.”

  Adrianna agreed. “I thought I was the only one that noticed this outright disrespect.”

  “You know I was just trying to be nice. Jay ain’t even my type.”

  “I know. I didn’t think y’all meshed well.”

  “Listen, I know you like Kevin, but what they’re doing is wrong.”

  Adrianna’s eyes became sad. “I know, and Kevin is always doing this kind of stuff. He is always being disrespectful, but now if you leave I’m leaving, but how are we going to leave? Where are we going?”

  I hadn’t planned on Adrianna leaving with me. I really didn’t want anyone to know where I was going. I didn’t want to tell her about the room that DeMarco had gotten but I had to at this point. I figured I could take her up to the room with me and then DeMarco and I could drop her off and come back to the room and chill.

  “I have a friend who has a room here. We can go up and hang out with him for a while.”

  She smiled. “I’m cool with that.”

  Kevin and Jay were still looking at the pretty girl and Crystal Rose when we left the dance.

  When DeMarco opened the door, the first person I saw was Lil Jimmy and I thought I was about to vomit. What in the world was he doing here? I thought I had explained to DeMarco that I couldn’t stand this guy and yet he was in my presence again. He approached me with this stupid grin on his face. “Hey, shorty. So I see you decided to blow that stupid dance.” His eyes grew big when he saw Adrianna. “Who is this little Mami?”

  “I’m Adrianna.” She grinned. Her braces gleamed. Jimmy was showing her more attention than Kevin had shown her the whole night.

  “Well, I was just about to leave you two lovers alone but looks like there is somebody here for me.” Jimmy said as he put his arm right around Adrianna’s waist. She didn’t seem to mind. She kept grinning.

  “I’m Jimmy.”

  “Glad to meet you, Jimmy.”

  DeMarco whispered, “Ain’t that Kev’s girlfriend ?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What is she doing here?”

  “Long story. I will tell you later. But in the meantime, let’s pull those two apart. I don’t think it’s a good idea for Jimmy to try to talk to Adrianna.”

  “Why not?”

  I thought back to the night when Jimmy tried to rape Candace but I didn’t want to bring that up again. “Adrianna has a boyfriend.”

  “She’s not acting like she has a boyfriend. Besides, Jimmy loves Hispanic girls.”

  What does that have to do with anything? He was acting like Hispanic girls were prettier than black girls or something. He kind of rubbed me the wrong way with that statement.

  “Hey listen, I will make sure Jimmy is on his best behavior.”

  “Yeah, right. I wanna see you do that.” I looked over at Jimmy who was holding a bottle of Ciroc in his hand.

  “Jimmy, no drinking tonight,” DeMarco said.

  Jimmy turned to DeMarco and said, “Shorty has already been drinking.”

  DeMarco turned to me. “Is that right?”

  Now everyone knows. “Yeah and I had a drink myself, there was alcohol in the limo.”

  He smiled, and his expression told me that he no longer thought of me as a goody two-shoes. I didn’t know if that was good or bad. I put my arm around him. I was glad to have left the dance. I was glad to be with DeMarco, but a part of me wondered what Jay was doing. Was he looking for me? I began to feel guilty. I wondered how Adrianna was feeling about leaving Kevin, ’cause from the looks of it she wasn’t even thinking about Kevin.

  Jimmy and Adrianna went into the adjoining room of the suite and closed the door. I didn’t want to know what was going on behind that door. I just wanted to spend some time in DeMarco’s arms. I took his hand and led him to the sofa. He smiled as I slipped off my shoes and curled up in his lap. Guess the alcohol was making me tired. Before I dozed off, I saw DeMarco reach for the television remote and turn on Law & Order.

  My eyes couldn’t have been closed more than ten minutes before I was awakened by a scream. Not again! DeMarco was asleep, so I nudged him and waved my hand at the door to the room where Adrianna and Jimmy went. DeMarco and I rose to our feet and walked into the bedroom and saw Adrianna in tears and Jimmy standing over her with his boxer shorts on.

  “What’s the matter, Adrianna?” I asked but I could clearly see what was wrong. Jimmy had tried to violate someone again. How come he can’t get a girl to consent? Adrianna’s hair was disheveled and her dress was ripped. Jimmy was obviously the kind of guy folks warned women and children about: a born sex offender.

  “Get away from me,” she said to Jimmy.

  DeMarco sighed. “What happened now?” Jimmy smiled, but to me it was a stupid grin. “Nothing. We were just kissing.”

  My flesh crawled.

  “I-I-I, think he put something in my drink,” Adrianna said. “All I know is I dozed and when I woke up he was on top of me trying to take my clothes off.”

  DeMarco yelled, “Jimmy, how can you be so dumb?”

  “She’s lying,” Jimmy said, still looking stupid. Still with that dumb look on his face. The same look he had on his face the night he tried to take advantage of Candace.

  “Get him away from me.”

  I ran to Adrianna’s side. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  She looked at me and said, “I need to know his full name. He is not going to get away with this. I’m going to call the police on him tonight. He’s going to jail. I’m going to make sure he doesn’t do this to no other girl.”

  DeMarco looked panicked. He said, “No, you can’t call the police on my friend, he didn’t rape you.” I know he didn’t want his boy to get in trouble, but Jimmy did this to himself.

  “I’m calling the police on both of y’all,” Adrianna said as she pulled her BlackBerry from her purse.

  I agree that was really foul what Jimmy had done to her but I swear I didn’t want her to call the police. All I needed was my name involved with his in an attempted rape investigation. How would I explain to Mom what had happened? How would I explain why I was with DeMarco and not Jay? This night had turned out to be tragic.

  Jimmy walked over toward DeMarco.

  “Can y’all just leave out of the room for a moment ?” I asked.

  “I ain’t going nowhere,” Jimmy said. “I’m not going to allow somebody to call the police on me and lie. I’ll call Kevin; I know he keeps you in line.”

  “I aint scared of Kev. He might be tall but I’ll take a baseball bat to his dome.”

  “Leave the room.” I pleaded with DeMarco.

  He grabbed Jimmy by the arm and led him to the other room. When the door closed I said, “Look, Adrianna. I know you’re upset and what Jimmy did was wrong, but you can’t call the police.”

  She looked up at me, tears now coming down her face. I felt like crying when I saw her cry. Jimmy was indeed a creep, I don’t know why I didn’t just leave when I saw his face. I knew
better ; I knew he was bad news, and I felt some guilt in what had almost happened.

  “That boy is a monster,” she said.

  “I know.”

  “Well, if you knew, why didn’t you tell me he was a creep?”

  “Look, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry this happened to you.” I was about to cry. I fought hard to hold back my tears.

  “You just don’t understand how I feel. I feel so violated.”

  “I know, but calling the police ain’t going to solve anything. It will cause more problems.”

  “He should be in jail.”

  “He didn’t rape you.”

  “But he tried to.”

  “Listen, if you call the cops, I’m going to have a whole lot of explaining to do to my mom, and you’re going to have to do a whole lot of explaining to your mom.”

  She looked at her dress. It was ripped, and I don’t know how she was going to make it past her parents looking that way. If she’s lucky, maybe they won’t be waiting up for her.

  “I can sew the dress,” I said. “But please, I’m begging you not to call the police.”

  She sighed. “I won’t call the police, but we’re going to have to figure out how to fix the dress. I can’t go home looking this way. My parents will call the cops themselves.”

  I let out a sigh of relief. “I can fix the dress. Don’t you worry about that.”

  DeMarco took Jimmy home and went to CVS to buy a sewing kit. I stitched the dress up and with all the ruffles acting as camouflage, you couldn’t tell the dress had been in pieces.

  By the time I finished the dress Adrianna had calmed down and fixed her face. The night was still early, so I asked Adrianna to come along with me and DeMarco to the Waffle House to get something to eat. Adrianna was in good spirits and she was even laughing at some of DeMarco’s jokes. We dropped her off at home at about 11 pm.

  After that, me and DeMarco went to his brother’s house and sat in the driveway and kissed. I didn’t have much to say to him; so much had gone on that night, and I was still trying to figure out how things got out of hand. When he dropped me off at home, it was close to one in the morning, much later than I anticiptated, so I hoped my mom wouldn’t be up, looking for me.

  When I eased in the door, I heard Mom snoring. Thank God she was asleep. I jumped in the shower; happy the night was over and even happier that Adrianna hadn’t called the police.