New Year in Manhattan

by Louise Bay

“When you make me come,” I whispered.

  He groaned again.

  “Yes, when I make you. That’s what you look like. And I can’t get enough. It’s like I’m addicted.” His voice was wavering now. “I can’t get enough of your body, your mind, your soul.”

  “It’s all yours.”

  His breathing was heavy now, the grunts more consistent. I could imagine his neck strained as he gave into his orgasm. He was there and hearing him was the sexiest, most erotically intimate thing I’d ever heard. I wished I was back at the flat, somewhere where I could try again.

  But I wasn’t back at the flat and a knock at the door pulled me back to my surroundings.

  Paul Adams, the partner I did most of my work for, put his head round my door and saw I was on the phone and silently indicated I should call him. I was sure he could tell that I’d just got my boyfriend off at the other end of the phone. It must have shown in my face, surely. I nodded and he closed the door behind him.

  “Are you okay?” Ethan asked me.

  I laughed. “I am, it was Paul. I feel like we’ve been caught doing something we shouldn’t be.”

  “Well, it’s a good job we weren’t on Skype.”

  “Yeah, I think that would be a slam-dunk breach of the anti-frat.”

  *

  The rest of the day was better. I loved to hear him undone like that and even though we were three thousand miles apart, it felt like this morning had brought us closer somehow.

  Sometime after lunch, I came back to my office after a meeting to find two pieces of post on my desk. The first was a courier package, the second a hand written envelope marked ‘private and confidential’. I opened the courier package first, expecting some documents from a client but instead I found a book. But not just a book. It was a book titled “Pumpkin Carving in New England”. But before the word “Pumpkin” someone had handwritten the word “naked”.

  Lucy chose that exact moment to make her entrance, and it was always an entrance.

  “What have you got there?” She asked seeing me with a book in my hand and a grin on my face. Not that my grin lasted long.

  “What do you want Lucy?” I didn’t want anything spoiling my mood.

  “Just coming to say hi, that’s all. What’s this?” She asked picking up the book.

  “Nothing.” I snatched it from her fingers. I hadn’t had time to enjoy it yet. To think how thoughtful and silly and perfect a gift it was. I hugged it to my chest.

  “Jeez, someone’s touchy. You still pissed you’re not working with Sexy Scott?”

  “He’s back in the US.”

  “Yeah, but I’m still working with him. He emails me all the time. Can’t keep away. He’s such a flirt.”

  If I could have kneed her in the groin without anyone finding out I would have done. I wasn’t one for physical violence but it was like she was trying to wind me up. Did she know about Ethan and me? Maybe she suspected?

  “Okay, well enjoy that.” I snapped. “I’ve got a lot to do, Lucy.” I stood up and moved towards the door. She couldn’t keep talking to me if I wasn’t in my office. She got the hint and I went to the loo.

  When I got back to my desk I grinned inanely at the book Ethan had sent to me. As I flipped through the book I saw that he’d annotated it so that every time ‘pumpkin carving’ was written he’d added the word ‘naked’. The book was full of beautiful photographs of intricately carved pumpkins set against typical New England homes and landscapes. It was sweet and thoughtful and I loved it.

  I texted a quick message.

  A: I love my gift. And I love your obsession with nakedness. Oh, yeah, and I love you.

  Still grinning, I turned my attention to the handwritten envelope that had been on my desk with the courier package. It wasn’t Ethan’s writing and I couldn’t think who it could be from.

  Inside was a handwritten letter. It started “Dear Anna” but I still didn’t recognize the writing, so I skipped to the end.

  It was from Ben. Ben the Biker. Ben the Bastard. My ex-boyfriend who had been responsible for my flat being broken into, putting me in danger. What on earth was he writing to me for?

  Chapter Four

  Anna

  “Have you got it with you?” Leah asked. I had called an emergency wine meeting to discuss the letter from Ben the Bastard.

  I handed it over and she began to read from the beginning. I concentrated on my wine.

  For the next five minutes all I got was “God”, “Oh, wow” and “Well that makes sense.” And then I got a question. “And you had no idea?” she looked up at me.

  I shook my head. “Like it says, he got very good at hiding it.”

  She nodded, like she understood. Like it was understandable that I hadn’t realized he was an addict. I wasn’t sure it was. What did that say about my ability to read people?

  Leah continued to read. “Oh and this is him making amends. I see. It’s brave.” She looked up and I nodded. It was brave.

  When she got to then end she exhaled dramatically. “What did Ethan say?”

  “I’ve not told him yet. I’m going to call him when I get back. Anyway, this was all pre-Ethan. Before we met.”

  “So it doesn’t change anything?”

  “What? Between me and Ethan?” I looked at her to check she wasn’t high on something. “Of course it doesn’t change anything. What could it possibly change? Ethan and I are together.”

  “Okay, I just wondered if … well, whether you may still have feelings that might come back now you have an explanation about things.”

  “Leah!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from her. She knew, she must know, how I felt about Ethan. He wasn’t just another boyfriend to me.

  “What? I’m just asking.”

  “You know what it’s like between Ethan and me. How can you ask me that?”

  “All I know is that you’re three thousand miles away from each other without a plan.”

  “I have a plan. I have a fucking plan, Leah.” My voice started to tremble a little and from her expression that she hadn’t expected me to react as strongly as I had.

  “I’m sorry. Anna, please, I didn’t mean to upset you. I want you to be happy.”

  “I know, look, I’m going to go. I want to go home and speak to Ethan.”

  “I’m really sorry. Please don’t go, I feel terrible.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Really. I just need to go.” I was standing already. I had to be at home. But I didn’t want to make Leah feel worse than she clearly already did, so I sat down and topped up our glasses.

  “I’m pleased you’ve found Ethan.”

  I stayed silent. I didn’t want to carry on this discussion.

  “And I’m glad you have a plan,” she continued. I didn’t really have a plan, other than I was determined that Ethan and I would be together.

  “Maybe we’ll end up having a double wedding!” Leah said, clearly trying to make me laugh.

  “Fuck off Leah.” She knew how I felt about the whole wedding thing.

  “What? I think it would be a brilliant idea.”

  “We’re not getting married.”

  “Ever?”

  “You know how I feel about getting married. It’s silly and outdated and married people end up hating each other but staying together anyway. And I can’t bear the thought of wearing some meringue of a dress and having members of my family trying to hide their disdain for each other while eating over-priced chicken.”

  “Okay, so no double wedding. But when you’re bridesmaid at mine, I’m making you wear a meringue. And you’re going to be eating chicken. The rest of us will have venison.”

  I laughed despite myself.

  Ethan

  The whole world was literally talking out if its asshole. No one had made any sense since I’d gotten into the office. It was like someone had infected everyone with a virus. Clearly I was immune, but the rest of them had it bad.

  “No, I don’t think that�
��s a good idea. It doesn’t take into account the fact that the value in this business has not been nailed down.”

  Fuck, this was obvious fucking stuff. Why was I having to make these points?

  I checked my phone and smiled at the text Anna had sent earlier. She’d liked the book. It was the least provocative of all the gifts I had planned for her. I was still holding my cell when another text arrived.

  A: When are you free? Can we talk?

  E: Are you okay? I’m in a meeting now, but I can excuse myself.

  A: No, when you are home. I just had a fight with Leah and I want to hear your voice.

  Jesus, the woman made me feel like a god.

  E: I’ll be home by 7pm again, beautiful.

  For the second time in two days I left the office at six thirty. It wasn’t sustainable. Just because I worked from home after I spoke to Anna wasn’t enough. I needed to be in the office. Three weeks until she got here, and then we needed to talk.

  I called her as soon as I reached my apartment. She sounded sleepy and the blood rushed to my dick. The feeling of being ready for her when she wasn’t here wasn’t getting any easier.

  “How was your day?” she asked.

  “A fucking nightmare. I hate dealing with stupid clients.”

  She laughed and the tension in my voice suddenly sounded ridiculous. I could do nothing but grin in response.

  “Anyway, none of that matters. Tell me about Leah. It’s not like you two to argue.”

  “We’re okay, it’s fine. It’s just, I got a letter from Ben.”

  “From who?” The pulse in the veins on my neck throbbed.

  “Hear me out.”

  “Hear you talk about your fucking dick of an ex?”

  She sighed and I felt like a dick, but really?

  “No, whatever. I thought you would want to know.”

  “Anna, what the fuck did the fucking letter say?” I didn’t need to ask. Of course, it would be begging her forgiveness, begging her to take him back. Fucking dick couldn’t keep her in the first place and now wanted a second chance.

  “I need you to calm down.”

  “And I need you to tell me what that fucking letter says before I get on the next plane to London to read it for myself.” The throb in my neck was getting wilder.

  “Calm the hell down, I am going to tell you if you give me a minute and stop acting like an asshole.”

  I had nothing to say to that. She was right. Some of that asshole virus must have got to me after all.

  “Okay, sorry, go on.”

  “I’m not one of your associates that you can boss around, Mr. Bossy Pants. Well not outside the bedroom, anyway.” That made me smile. “So, I got a letter at work from Ben today.”

  Was it me, or was she stringing this out. She needed to get the fuck on with it. And then I could arrange to have him killed or something.

  “And it was to make amends.”

  “I bet it was, the limp-dicked prick.”

  “No, it was like part of his treatment. He’s in AA or something for his addiction to drugs and alcohol. And it was a really lovely letter. Telling me how sorry he was for putting me in danger, for deceiving and manipulating me. How none of it was my fault …”

  “Of course it wasn’t your fault.”

  “Ethan, listen. It was nice. I was shocked to hear he was an addict. I didn’t know. And it kind of makes sense. But he hid it well and I’m pleased for him that he’s getting the help he needs.”

  “And does he want you back?”

  “No, that’s not what this was about.”

  My pulse calmed.

  “Okay, so why did you and Leah fight, or is it not connected?”

  “Yeah, well it’s kind of connected.” She was reticent.

  “So, talk to me.”

  “It’s nothing, and I overreacted. It’s embarrassing, really.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Okay, but you have to promise to hear me out. Don’t go bat-shit crazy again.”

  “Go on, Anna.”

  “Leah just asked if I would try and reconcile with Ben now that I’d read the letter. And I got really mad that she could ever think that, knowing how I feel about you. She knows how different it is between us compared to other boyfriends I’ve had. I mean, if she feels for Daniel even a tenth of what I feel for you, she would never say that. I just lost it. Totally lost it and I feel bad. I apologized and it will be fine, but I was so irritated.”

  I think my heart stopped. Literally, stopped dead. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone more than I knew I loved Anna but apparently it was.

  “Ethan?”

  “Yeah, I’m here, beautiful. I’m sorry you had that fight with Leah—no, scratch that. I’m not sorry at all. I needed to hear that from you today.”

  “You did?”

  “It’s all good. But we need a plan. We can’t live three thousand miles away from each other for long. I think it might just ruin me.”

  “I was thinking the same thing.”

  “So, let’s think of what we can do over these next few weeks, and then discuss the possibilities face to face when you’re in New York.”

  “I was hoping there was going to be a little less conversation and little more action when we see each other face to face.”

  “You’re quoting Elvis at me?”

  “I am.” She laughed.

  “Girls aren’t allowed to quote Elvis. It’s the law.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Really? And now you’re deliberately trying to make me hard?”

  “Maybe.” The smile pushed through her voice.

  “There’s going to be plenty of action, you don’t need to worry about that.”

  “I can’t wait. Can I make a request?”

  “A sexual request? Of course. Anything.”

  “Hardy har-har, Mr. Scott. You know I love Andrew and Mandy …”

  “I take it back, no requests involving swinging or foursomes.”

  “Once again, you’re killing me with the funny. Can’t stop laughing.” She was probably the most sarcastic person I’d ever met, and I loved it. “I’d like to see them, but I want it to be you and me as much as possible.”

  And my heart stopped again.

  Anna

  The next few weeks became a gigantic countdown. Ethan and I settled into a routine of sorts. We spoke to each other when he got up and then sometimes just before I went to sleep. He’d worked every weekend since being back in New York. It was selfish of me, but I liked that his life seemed to be about work. When he went out it was always business related. He’d only seen Andrew and Mandy once since he got back.

  Work was less and less interesting to me. It was difficult to know whether that was because Ethan was the ultimate distraction, or whether it was the job, the clients and the politics. Maybe it was all of the above. I just didn’t see my future at the firm any more. Once I realized that, it made it difficult to get up in the morning. I needed to be working toward an alternative, but I wanted Ethan as part of that. I didn’t want to be the girl whose future depended on a guy, but that ship had sailed. My future without him was unthinkable. I would never choose a job over him, it was as simple as that. Especially a job I felt, at best, ambivalent about. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to resign.

  The weekend before Christmas, Leah invited me to have her dinner with her and Daniel at their place. I was pleased to have the distraction. It was dark, wet and cold as I arrived at their place.

  “It smells delicious, Leah,” I said as I followed her into the kitchen. ”Did you cook?”

  “I did. I hope it’s all right.”

  “I’m not sure I’d ever bother cooking if I had a housekeeper.”

  “I know, but I feel really guilty about her doing everything for us all the time. And anyway, I quite like cooking. Daniel’s been in the study all day working, and I’ve been cooking. It’s been like something from the fifties. Wine?”

  “Of course
wine. So where’s Daniel now?”

  “Behind you,” Daniel said as he came into the kitchen. “My spidey sense told me you were about to open some shitty wine, so I’ve come to save you and find the good stuff.”

  Leah grinned. “So how’s Ethan?”

  “Good. He’s still not asked me to go to New York. But we’re going to talk about it when I go over for New Year, so it’s all good.”

  “Have you offered to go?” Daniel asked.

  “I want him to ask me. I don’t want to feel I’ve backed him into a corner.”

  “He loves you. He’s not going to feel backed into a corner,” Leah said.

  “Then why doesn’t he ask me?”

  “Have you asked him to move to London?” Leah asked.

  I shook my head. “It’s difficult for him.”

  Daniel started laughing. “You know how ridiculous you sound, right?” Was it ridiculous to want Ethan to show me he was sure about us? “He’s in an impossible situation. He can’t ask you to move to New York without running the risk of looking like a dick because he’s asked a girl to give up a life and career for him.”

  I’d not thought about it like that. “I suppose.”

  “And moving to London has got to be tough for a New York lawyer. I mean, I’m not trying to say your career isn’t important, but he’s a partner, he’s built a practice. It would be hard for him to start again.”

  “I know. I’m happy to go to New York. I don’t love my job that much. I’m bored and I could do with a fresh challenge.”

  “I’m going to miss you so much,” Leah said as the kitchen timer started buzzing. “Will you two go and sit down. You’re distracting me.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want us to help?” I offered.

  Leah ignored me, and Daniel guided me toward to the table at the far end of the kitchen.

  “So, you think you’ll end up in New York?” Daniel asked.

  I shrugged. “I guess we’ll talk about it over New Year.”

  “Look, I don’t know if you’d be interested, but I need a lawyer for my hotels in New York. I’ve put a new management team in there recently. There was a whole lot of crap that happened earlier in the year. And I want someone I can trust working with them.”

  My stomach churned. Was he serious? “Daniel.”