Alive (Mended Hearts #1)

by Beth Maria

  It’s not my mom that I was keeping this from, but my dad. I mean, I love him to pieces, but he’s just too overprotective sometimes. I knew my mom would tell him, hence why I didn’t tell her.

  “I’m sorry. I really am. You know what Dad is like, though. No offence, Dad,” I apologize, looking at my dad. “He would have gone all protective daddy bear on me, Mom. I didn’t know how long Jesse and I would last either, so I needed to make sure first before I told you both. I really do love him, Mom. He’s completely different than Matt. He cares about me, always puts me first, and he listens to me when I need someone to talk to. You will both love him. I know you will. Plus, he’s not bad on the eyes either.” I laugh, winking at my mom. She chuckles.

  Facing my dad, I see no emotion on his face. “I promise you will love him, Daddy. I’ll let you meet him soon, okay?” I give him a smile, letting him know that I’m happier than I have been in months.

  “Come here, pumpkin,” my dad says, his arms stretched out wide. I walk into them and feel safe. “As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy. But you let Jesse know that if he so much as hurts a hair on your head or makes a tear fall from your eyes, I will kill him, and that’s a promise.” I chuckle because I know that isn’t just a threat.

  “I will tell him, Daddy,” I pull away from his embrace and see my mom smiling.

  “Come here, baby girl.” She also gives me a hug. “I’m so glad to see the shine back in your eyes again. I missed it,” she whispers into my ear. I nod, too emotional to talk right now. I know if I do, I will probably cry. “Sit down, and I’ll go make us all a coffee.”

  She comes back in a few minutes later, coffees all made. I sit quietly, waiting for what is to be said next. We have a lot of catching up to do.

  “Wait… Did Maisie say that you were sleeping with Chloe, Jake?” My mom asks, remembering what I had said. Jake sinks back into his chair. Shit. There’s no hiding from it now, buddy. You’re the reason my best friend has closed in on herself!

  “You best start explaining, Jake,” Dad pipes up after a few minutes of silence.

  There is so much tension in the room right now. Jake will probably want me to bail him out of this, but he’s on his own. I know he helped me, and I’m thankful for that, but this is my best friend he’s fucking with. I have to pick my battles. This is one of them.

  “This doesn’t leave this room. Understood?” he finally pipes up. We all nod in response, eager for what he is about to say. If he’s spilling his feelings, I’m listening intently. This doesn’t happen often.

  “Well…” He starts, and then swallows loudly before continuing, “Chloe and I started sleeping together about seven months ago. I ended it five months ago.” His voice changes at the end. I swear he sounds upset. He can’t be, though. Jake doesn’t get upset over girls. Even if he has always had a soft spot for her, it’s not his motto to show feelings. More like love em’ and leave em’.

  “Why did you end it?” my mom asks. That’s what I want to know too. Good thinking, Mom!

  “I can’t tell you why,” he sighs, exasperated.

  We all look at him expectantly. That isn’t going to cut it, especially now that I have a bigger team on my side. My parents love Chloe as if she were their own. If Jake hurts her, they will skin him alive.

  “Jake…” my dad warns, getting frustrated.

  “Fine. I’ll tell you. I got bored of her. It was exciting at first, but it got old very quick, so I ended our arrangement. Happy now?” He rises abruptly from his chair, walks out of the room, and slams the front door behind him.

  We’re all left speechless.

  “What the hell just happened?” I ask my gob smacked parents, confused.

  “I don’t have the slightest clue, but when I get hold of your brother later, I’m chopping his dick off. If he’s going to abuse it, he’s going to lose it. I’m allowed to decide that because I graced him with it,” Dad says matter-of-factly. Mom and I burst out laughing at his seriousness. “But on a serious note, how’s Chloe? When we’ve spoken, you haven’t really talked about her.”

  Maybe they can tell me what to do to help. I don’t know what to do anymore. All I know is that I can’t leave Chloe alone any longer. She’s changing, and not for the better.

  “She’s not good. We had a disagreement one night when I heard her and Jake having an argument. I asked what was going on, and as usual, she dodged the question. I’m fed up with trying to help. I don’t know how to help when she won’t tell me what’s going on. Since then, we’ve been keeping our distance from each other. She’s gone all day, and if she returns, she’s usually drunk. She’s a mess. I miss my best friend,” I say, trying to keep the tears at bay.

  Now that I’ve said it out loud, it’s bad. It’s really bad. I can’t let Chloe keep on doing what she’s doing. She’s deteriorating before my eyes, and I’ve just stood by and let it happen. I’m such a shitty friend. She’s always been there for me. I should have done the same. She would have told me when she was ready. I just needed to be patient.

  “You know Chloe, baby girl, and she will tell you when she’s ready. I know it’s frustrating because you want to help her, but maybe she doesn’t want help right now. Whatever is going on, she obviously doesn’t want to burden you with it. We all know that you’ve had your own problems to deal with recently. She was probably thinking of you,” my mom says soothingly.

  They always know the right thing to say.

  “I hope so, Mom. If not, then I’ll send her to you? You two can knock some sense into her.” They laugh because they know I’m being completely serious. If anyone can knock some sense into Chloe, it’s my parents. It’s a gift they have.

  “Of course, sweetie,” my mom replies for both of them.

  “Okay, I’m going to pop to the store. Do you two need anything?” I ask. I desperately need to get out right now. I need a breather from the twenty-one questions.

  “No, we have everything. We’ll see you soon,” my mom replies.

  I get my car keys off of the side table, and then walk out the front door, to my car.

  ****

  After parking outside the local store, I walk across the lot. I hope I don’t bump into anyone. The last thing I want to talk or hear about is Matt. I’ve not spoken to any of my old friends since that frightful night, and I plan on keeping it that way. The only true friend I had was Chloe, and I pushed her away. I intend on sorting things out with her when I return to campus.

  The bell on the door rings as I step inside, and the familiar smell of hot dogs graces my nostrils. I never thought I would be so happy to smell it. I used to hate the fact that it always stunk of hot dogs in here.

  As I go over to look at the magazines, Mrs Jenkins, the old lady who owns the store, waves at me. “Maisie, dear, how lovely it is to see you. How have you been?”

  “I’m doing well. How are you?” I reply.

  “Oh, you know, the same. I’m not getting any younger, dear. I should be retired, but seeing faces like yours every day makes me want to carry on working. I’ve missed seeing you around. Tell me. How’s college?”

  Mrs Jenkins is nearly eighty years old. She’s run the local store for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, she used to give me free candy, and then when I got older, she gave me a part time job. I really look up to her. She’s had a tough life. Her husband and children died in a car crash, and she’s never moved on. She just carries on running the family store by herself. I used to keep her company, but now, I don’t think she has anyone. I’ll need to spend some time with her while I’m home.

  “Oh, I love college. My classes are fantastic.”

  “You’ve got that glint back in your eyes, sweetheart. Is there a special somebody who’s put it back there?” This woman is too smart for her own good. She never misses a thing.

  With the biggest smile on my face, I tell her, “Yes, actually, there is. His name is Jesse.”

  A smile takes over her face too. “Oh, that’s won
derful, dear! You deserve someone who obviously makes you happy. Have you got a picture of him that I could see?”

  I take out my cell phone and scroll through my pictures until I find one that I took of us the day we first made love. Showing her my phone, I watch her expression.

  “He’s a bit alright, isn’t he?” she says, winking at me. “If only I was fifty years younger.” That causes me to laugh. Hard.

  Under the sweet little old lady act, there’s a woman with a lot of fire still. Mrs Jenkins isn’t immune to a good looking guy. I remember from when I worked with her. If a good looking guy came in, she would flirt with them. I used to look forward to those days; it was entertaining to watch.

  The bell on the door rings, signaling someone entering. Putting my cell phone in my pocket, I look up to see who it is. The smile falls from my face the second my eyes land on Matt. I stand stock still, stunned into silence. He looks as clean kept as ever with his tidy hair and expensive clothes. He hasn’t changed a bit.

  What surprises me the most, though, is that I feel nothing when I look at him. My stomach doesn’t do a little summersault like it used to, and my heart doesn’t skip a beat. Now, he’s just like any other person.

  I haven’t seen him since I walked out of his party. He tried to come to my house to see me before I left for college, but thankfully, my dad wouldn’t let him in.

  Now I have Jesse, the best looking and kindest man I have ever known. Matt doesn’t have anything on Jesse. If I had to compare the two, Matt is mediocre. My skin is crawling just looking at him after all this time.

  “Maisie, I didn’t know you were back,” Matt says, breaking the silence.

  Swallowing, I say, “It’s Thanksgiving. Of course I came back.” It comes out as more of a croak. I need a drink.

  “Of course,” he replies, staring at the floor. “It’s good to see you. You look like you’re doing well.” Yes, no thanks to you, fuckwit, I think.

  “That’s what moving away does. No drama, nobody who knows you. I started over again,” I tell him honestly. His face falls at that revelation. Turning back to Mrs Jenkins, who’s silently watching the scene play out in front of her, I tell her, “I’m going to head home now, but I’ll come back to see you before I leave. It was nice to see you.”

  “You too, dear. Make sure you do come back to see me. Oh, and ignore him. You have an incredible man now. Matt is your past. Don’t hold on to those of your past. They are there for a reason. Let go and focus on what Jesse can offer you in the future,” she says just loud enough for Matt to hear. She sure is a wise woman.

  Ignoring Matt on my way out, I walk to my car.

  “Maisie, wait,” he shouts, running toward me. Fuck. I was so close. Now I’m going to have to talk to him. I have nothing else to say that I haven’t already said.

  I feel him stop behind me, but I don’t turn around. Maybe he will take the hint.

  “I just want to apologize, again, for what happened. I’m so sorry. I regret it every single day. I miss you, Mais,” he says sorrowfully.

  “You’re forgiven,” I reply bluntly.

  “Well, I don’t forgive myself. I never will. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and I lost you.” I can’t bear to hear this anymore. Why does he have to drag up old demons?

  I turn to face him, seeing him with his head held downwards in sorrow.

  “Look, I have to go, but just forget about it. I have. You will never move on with your life if you keep holding onto the past.”

  “I overheard Mrs Jenkins in there. I take it you have a new boyfriend then?” Matt pipes up, just as I’m about to spin back around.

  I knew as soon as Mrs Jenkins said it, that Matt would hear. Who was I kidding, hoping that he wouldn’t ask? I’m not going to tell him, though. He has no right to ask anymore.

  “It’s none of your business if I do or don’t have a boyfriend, Matt,” I reply, my voice filled with finality. Of course, he’s never listened to me before, so why would he now?

  “It is my business, Maisie,” his voice, which is filled with disgust, matches the look on his face.

  “How the fuck is it any of your business, Matt? You were the one who cheated on me, remember? You chucked us away when you decided to go elsewhere. You lost the right to know anything about what I do that night. This conversation is over. Goodbye, Matt.”

  I have to leave right now, or I will lose my temper. How did I ever find him attractive? People always told me that he was controlling when it came to me, but I never believed them. I couldn’t. I was blinded by what I thought was love for him. I realize now that it wasn’t really love, though. It was just a silly high school crush. I love Jesse more after two months than I ever loved Matt in the four years we were together.

  “You’re just a dirty whore, Maisie. It didn’t take you long to move on at all. We were together for four years! How can you move on in five months?” His nostrils flare like they always do when he gets angry.

  Did he just call me a dirty whore? Oh, hell no. I’m not having that.

  Moving to stand right in front of him, I poke him in the chest and hiss at him, “Don’t you dare call me a dirty whore! I wasn’t the one who ruined our relationship, Matt. You did when you slept with Megan. So yes, I’ve moved on. I wasted five months of my life living through the motions, and then Jesse came along and helped me get out of the big black hole that I thought I was trapped in. So sue me for finally having a life.” Shit, I just told him Jesse’s name. Oh, it’s not like he’s going to hunt him down and beat the shit out of him, is it? Might as well just tell him.

  “And I apologized for that!” Matt shouts, exasperated. “So his names Jesse? How did you meet?” He’s now as cool as a cucumber. How does he switch moods so quickly?

  “Yes, and if you must know, he’s in my English class.” I put my hands on my hips and sigh.

  It doesn’t look like I’m getting home any time soon. Matt obviously has a lot of questions to ask. Well, if he’s going to be nosey, I’ll give him what he wants. I doubt he will be happy about it, but if he doesn’t want to hear it, then he shouldn’t ask.

  “So he majors in English?”

  “No, he’s the captain of the football team. You know how I’ve always liked sporty guys,” I tell him, trying to gauge his reaction. He bristles at that. Good. That will teach him.

  “Yeah, I do,” he says quietly. “How long have you been together?”

  “Nearly two months. Are we nearly done here? I have things to do,” I say.

  “Just one more question, and I want you to be honest with me, okay?” he asks, looking me straight in the eyes. It’s making me nervous. They are the eyes that I used to spend hours staring into, but now I can barely stand to.

  I nod my head, waiting for him to spit it out.

  “Have you had sex with him?” he finally asks.

  Did he really just ask me that? Who goes around asking their ex if they’ve had sex with their new boyfriend? He isn’t going to like my answer. However, he wanted the truth, so I’m going to give it to him.

  “Yes.” I don’t hesitate to answer. I’m not ashamed. My first time with Jesse was the best I’ve ever had. He knew what he was doing. He showed me love the whole way through, catering to my needs, spot on. A smile appears on my face from rethinking back to that night. I’ve engrained it to my memory.

  “Of course you have, and by the smile and the dazed look in your eyes, I’m guessing you’re imagining it right now. Well, it was nice to see you again, Maisie. Have fun back at college with your new boyfriend.” With that, he walks off to his car, which is parked on the other side of the parking lot.

  Had I known that would piss him off, I would have told him about ten minutes ago. Oh well. I’m not going to dwell on it. There is nothing more that needs to be said between us. I can finally get on with my life, without Matt subconsciously entering my mind and trying to destroy it. Old demons are put to rest now.

  With a smile on my face, I hop into my car,
turn on the radio, and head back home.

  Chapter 14

  Matt

  When I headed to the store, the last person I thought I would bump into is Maisie. I haven’t spoken to her since the night I made the biggest mistake of my life. That night still haunts my nightmares.

  The night of my party, Maisie and I had an argument. Over what I can’t remember now, all I know is that it had something to do with Chloe. I hated that bitch. She always got in the way of my relationship with Maisie. The only reason I put up with her was because she was Maisie’s best friend. I tried to subtly keep Maisie away from her. She was bad news, constantly sleeping with guys, partying all the time, and she was generally just a loud mouthed bitch.

  Anyway, after the football match, that we won, I went back to my house and started drinking before everyone was due to come round. By the time people started arriving, I was completely shit-faced.

  When Megan tried it on with me, I stupidly said yes when she asked if I wanted to sleep with her. She’s always had a crush on me for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been interested in her, though, as I’ve always only had eyes for Maisie. No way would I usually choose Megan over her, but I was intoxicated. You know what men are like when they’ve got a load of alcohol in their system. They fuck anything and everything. I’m no exception. However, usually I had Maisie with for when I need to let loose. She wasn’t there at the time, and to be honest, after our fight earlier, I doubted that she would turn up. So I went for it. I risked everything for a lay that wasn’t even very good.

  When I saw Maisie standing in my bedroom, watching the whole thing play out in front of her, my heart literally dropped into my stomach. I sobered up instantly. It was too late, though, because she had witnessed my betrayal. I knew that was the end of us straight away, but I had to at least try to salvage our relationship.

  Maisie was it for me. She was who I saw spending the rest of my life with. All of that disappeared the minute I saw her face. She looked so heartbroken. I see that face every night in my dreams, except it’s not a dream. It’s a fucking nightmare, and it plays on repeat every night, taunting me with what I fucking lost all because of one stupid fucking decision.