Diagnosis

by Lucy Clark

  ‘Your obs are normal and we’ve found you some clothes. I’ll send Maree to help you dress and then we can get going.’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  Logan nodded and left her to it before organising her discharge. Next, he went in search of Wil.

  ‘Thanks for sticking around, mate,’ Logan said as he walked into the small kitchenette where Wil was rinsing his cup.

  ‘No problem. You ready to leave?’

  ‘Yes. Charli’s just getting changed. I’m taking her back to my house for the moment so I can monitor her tonight because she’s refusing to stay here.’

  ‘Has she remembered anything more?’

  ‘No, but as I said earlier, between concussion and the hypothermia, she’s bound to have some confusion. You can ask her some questions in the car or leave it for later today, but I don’t think you’re going to get much out of her.’

  ‘What about her tests?’

  ‘Everything’s come back normal. CT scan, X-rays—she’s fine but there’s something definitely bothering her.’

  Wil nodded. ‘I’ll get the car, you get the patient.’

  ‘Actually, can you get the patient, have her sign out and I’ll meet you at the car. I just need to get my backpack and a textbook from the hospital library.’

  ‘OK.’

  Charli had finished dressing, had two extra blankets around her and was being led out to the clerical area when the policeman came up to her.

  ‘Hi. I’m Wil.’

  ‘I know who you are. I remember meeting you before.’ Charli’s tone was brisk and radiated impatience. She watched his eyes widen in surprise and realised her direct manner was intimidating him. Good. At least there was one man around here she’d be able to control. Logan Hargraves was impossible—in more ways than one.

  ‘Uh…OK. So…er…Well, that’s good. Logan said you’re staying with him at the moment. That’s good.’ Wil nodded. ‘His kids aren’t too noisy but at least they’ll be a diversion for you.’

  ‘I’m sorry. Did you say kids?’

  ‘Sure. Logan has two of them. Kids, that is. A girl and a boy.’

  Charli was puzzled but relaxed a little, feeling some of her earlier tension disappear. If there were children in his life then chances were he was married. It made her feel better about staying with him, but for some reason she couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed that he was already taken. She shrugged. He was a good-looking man, of course he’d be married.

  The topic of their conversation came into view.

  ‘All signed out?’

  ‘She’s just doing it now,’ Maree said, handing Charli a pen.

  Charli scanned the papers quickly before signing her name without thinking. When she’d done it, she stopped, looked at the pen and then looked quickly up at him. ‘Well, at least that proves I’m really Charli Summerfield.’ She sighed, amazed at how the knowledge relaxed her.

  ‘I guess it does. Come on, let’s get you out of here. Thanks, Maree.’ He turned and said to Wil, ‘Charli hates hospitals.’

  ‘But she’s a doctor,’ Wil said, and Logan chuckled. They headed out to the car and Logan held the rear door open for her.

  ‘I’ll sit in the back with you.’

  ‘To monitor me?’ she asked a little facetiously.

  He smiled and she felt her insides twist with pleasure again. ‘No. I just thought it was a good opportunity to make a pass at you.’ His plain speaking surprised her and then, when he laughed, she realised he was teasing her. ‘Of course it’s to monitor you.’

  Wil was laughing, too. ‘Logan? Make a pass at someone? Now, that’s funny.’ Wil started the engine. ‘It’s been so long, I’m sure he’s forgotten how.’

  ‘Keep it clean,’ Logan told his friend. ‘We don’t want to scare our international guest. She probably thinks all Australians are insane.’

  ‘Only those of the male species,’ Charli said sweetly, as she took her jewellery from the plastic bag and put it back on. She glanced out the window. ‘If I had driven to Halls Gap, would I have come along this road?’

  ‘Probably not. When coming from Melbourne, which we’re presuming you were, you would have come via Ararat.’

  ‘I don’t remember.’ Charli shook her head and Logan thought he detected a hint of fear in her words. Gently, he reached out and took her hand in his, giving it a little squeeze. Heat flooded through her at his touch and again she had a flash that she’d felt this way with him before. It was a nice feeling, a secure one, and she clung to it. She turned to look at him, her eyes wet with unshed tears. ‘I don’t remember any of this and it’s…’ She cleared her throat. ‘It’s scary.’

  ‘I can well imagine,’ he said softly.

  ‘No. You don’t understand. I can remember the most basic things like how to drive a car or how to insert a catheter. I can remember how to do a laparotomy and I can remember the most minute details of practising medicine—but I can’t remember my own name! I only know it because you told me and then signing, just now, confirmed that but…’ She broke off and tried again. ‘It’s…annoying, frustrating and downright scary.’ Charli was starting to shake and for the life of her she couldn’t stop. ‘I’ve never come across anyone with amnesia before. Have you, Logan?’

  ‘A few times, but it’s more of amnesic aphasia in elderly patients. Never someone with the extent you appear to have.’

  ‘Then how am I supposed to fix it? I want to know what I need to do to get my memory back.’

  ‘One thing I can tell you, which I guarantee you won’t want to hear, is that the more you think and dwell on it, the harder it will be to remember.’

  ‘You’re right. I don’t want to hear it.’

  Logan smiled. ‘If you stay with me for a few days at least, give your bumps and bruises a chance to heal and let Wil here find out a bit more information about how you came to be in Halls Gap, hopefully your memories will start returning. In the meantime, we can read up on everything we can find about amnesia so we know the best way to handle it.’ He pointed to the book he’d just collected from the hospital.

  ‘Information.’ She nodded as though this was her lifeline. ‘Now, that’s something tangible I can bank on.’ She took a few deep breaths and then realised she was still holding onto Logan’s hand. She let it go and glanced at him, feeling a little embarrassed.

  Logan smiled, remembering how she’d held onto him at the conference as well. It was a nice feeling. ‘It’s OK to show some emotion, Charli.’

  ‘Not to a stranger.’

  His smile increased and she felt a few cracks appear in the wall which was built around her inner self. ‘I hate to break this to you but as you can’t remember the past, everyone around you is a stranger, whether they know you or not. On that scale, as I’d met you briefly before you forgot your nearest and dearest, I’m almost the best friend you have.’

  Charli watched his blue eyes sparkle with sincerity. There was nothing vindictive about him. She realised that without her memories she would need to follow her instincts, and her instincts about Logan Hargraves were that he was a good man. Definitely eye candy too, but that was neither here nor there in the medical world.

  What about in her personal world? Her heart asked the question and her head went to brush it away before she stopped and thought some more. She had no idea what kind of relationships she’d had in the past.

  Was she married?

  Engaged?

  Divorced?

  None of the above?

  ‘Stop trying to figure it out,’ Logan said softly.

  Charli looked at him and sadly shrugged her shoulders. ‘I can’t help it. It’s the way my mind works. I have a puzzle and I need to solve it. It’s not something I can just switch off.’

  ‘The downside of being a genius?’

  ‘I’m not a genius, I just have a high IQ.’

  Logan raised an eyebrow and she realised that in simply saying things in a calm and controlled manner, she’d remembered something a
bout herself. ‘At least, I think I do.’

  Logan laughed. ‘You do. When we get back to my house, which…’ he looked out the window ‘…isn’t far now, I’ll show you your write-up in the conference programme and the notes I took at your lectures.’

  ‘Thanks. I’d appreciate it.’

  Wil brought the car to a stop outside Logan’s house. ‘I’ll check around at the bed and breakfasts and other accommodation places to see if you were registered anywhere. Depending on what I find, we’ll see where we go from there,’ Wil said as his two passengers climbed from the police car.

  Logan nodded. ‘Ring me, regardless of the information.’

  ‘Will do.’ With that, Wil drove off, leaving them standing outside Logan’s single-storey brick home.

  ‘Hold those blankets tight and I’ll get you inside. We still need to keep you nice and warm.’

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘I need to lock my medical bag in the surgery,’ he said, sliding one arm through the strap of the backpack. ‘It won’t take long. You can come if you’d prefer.’

  Charli nodded and followed him inside, noting the security code as he punched it into a panel on the wall. She knew instinctively that she’d remember those numbers for ever and frowned a little. Did she often go around memorising numbers? She thought for a moment and then recited a number off the top of her head.

  ‘What’s that?’ Logan asked.

  ‘The code for my hospital locker.’

  He turned on the light and raised his eyebrows. ‘Any other numbers come to mind?’

  ‘Um…18, 12, 68, 37, 88, 73.’

  ‘And that is?’

  ‘My apartment alarm code.’

  ‘Excellent. Once we find where you live, you’ll at least be able to get inside.’ He continued up the corridor and into the room at the end. ‘Come on through,’ he called when he realised she hadn’t followed him.

  ‘I’ll wait here,’ she called. He started unpacking the bag and once that was done he went in search of Charli. She was sitting in his waiting room, the blankets around her, flicking through a glossy magazine.

  ‘Anything jump out at you?’

  ‘No, but at least I’m up to date on all the movie world gossip.’

  ‘Ah…probably not as up to date as you think. That magazine’s been there for the last two years.’

  ‘What?’ She flicked it over and checked the date on the cover. ‘You can’t shell out for some new ones?’

  ‘Hey. There are new ones there.’ He pointed to the tables of neatly arranged magazines. ‘But my mother likes to keep the ones that have interesting stories.’

  ‘Your mother?’

  ‘She’s a retired nurse and does my receptionist work for me. That particular two-year-old glossy has a very interesting article about self-examination of breasts. Apparently, she’s been asked to photocopy the article several times so, as far as my mother is concerned, the magazine stays.’ He checked his watch.

  ‘You don’t have a clinic today?’

  ‘Yes, morning clinic, which as my watch says it is now after one o’clock, means it’s well and truly over.’

  ‘Well, where are your patients?’

  ‘Mum would have cancelled the clinic this morning. It’s no big deal.’ He shrugged and leaned against the door frame.

  ‘Doesn’t that bother the people around here?’

  ‘Quite the contrary. It may put the odd tourist out, but as for the locals? No. They fought long and hard to get a doctor stationed in Halls Gap so medical help would be available sooner for emergency and retrieval purposes.’

  ‘And as you came out early this morning to…’ Charli cleared her throat ‘…retrieve me, they don’t mind waiting until tomorrow to see you for a repeat prescription.’

  ‘Exactly, and if anyone had an emergency, they’d simply go to Stawell Hospital as they used to before I came to this area.’

  ‘And this afternoon?’

  ‘House calls. I was thinking of getting a bite to eat for lunch and then heading out. Want to come along for the ride?’

  It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse but she looked around her and realised she had nothing else to do. It was a strange sensation.

  ‘Come on,’ Logan urged when she didn’t answer right away. ‘We’ll make sure you’re rugged up. I can’t imagine someone like you likes being idle, but on the other hand, if you have a headache or feel like a rest after this morning’s ordeal, it’s no problem if you’d prefer to hibernate in your room. Alternately, you could just watch some television.’ He stood up straight. ‘Come through to the house, I’ll fix us lunch, show you the stuff from the conference and then you can decide.’

  Charli stood and nodded. She’d expected him to go out the front door but instead he headed to the rear of the building and stopped in the corridor next to a door. He took out his keys and unlocked it. ‘This connects my house to the surgery. Makes it easy when I’m running late.’ He set the surgery alarm again and they went through the door into an external walkway. She waited again while Logan unlocked another door into his house.

  ‘Good to see that you’re tight about security. Usually small townsfolk don’t bother locking their doors.’

  ‘We have a lot of tourists around and personally, as there are drugs kept on the clinic premises, I prefer to keep everything under lock and key.’ He walked through the door into his house and then turned to hold it open for Charli. ‘I guess it’s one of those things which has stayed with me from when I lived in Melbourne.’

  ‘How long ago?’ she asked as they walked down the hallway into the kitchen.

  ‘Since I lived in Melbourne? Just over five years.’

  ‘Any particular reason why you left?’

  Logan shrugged. ‘Necessity.’ He began taking things out of the refrigerator. ‘Salad sandwiches for lunch?’

  ‘Sounds great.’ Charli sat down at the kitchen table and looked around the room. There were pictures up on the walls of Logan and his family. There were drawings and paintings stuck on pin-boards as well as notices and birthday cards. She could hardly see the surface of the fridge or freezer due to the magnets which covered them. It all seemed foreign to her—but then she remembered that everything was foreign to her.

  ‘Try not to think about it.’ Logan said the words softly and she realised he’d been watching her. There was compassion in his tone and Charli appreciated his concern. She also felt a frisson of awareness at the way he was looking at her so intently. ‘We’ll get to the bottom of things. You’ll see.’ He smiled then and she wished he hadn’t. Compassion, concern and then one of those heart-melting smiles was enough to knock any woman off balance. Charli forced herself to look away and gave herself a stern lecture in self-control. She had to remember that Logan was a married man. He was not available.

  ‘Now, would you like a cup of tea or coffee? Or some soup? What can I get for you?’

  ‘A domesticated male. How refreshing.’

  Logan laughed. ‘Out of necessity.’

  ‘Tea would be nice, thank you.’

  ‘Coming right up.’ Logan continued to work in the kitchen while Charli looked around the room. There were bookshelves behind her and she swivelled in her chair to study them.

  ‘I see you’re quite fond of the classic fairy tales.’

  Logan smiled as he carried the food to the table. ‘Yes, and I’m not kidding when I tell you I’ve read each book on those shelves at least twenty times over, if not more. We have four different versions of the Three Little Pigs and I can probably recite each one word for word.’

  ‘Quite an accomplishment, Doctor. Is that on your résumé?’

  ‘No, but I think it should be.’ Before he sat down, he disappeared from the room and returned a moment later with a leather folder. ‘This is the information from the conference,’ he said, and laid it in front of her.

  Charli looked at him, her eyes wide with fear, but it was quickly veiled as she took a deep breath before opening
the folder. There were the usual pieces of paper about the conference and its aims. A list of people who would be presenting papers. She noticed Logan’s name on the list. ‘You presented a paper?’

  ‘Yes. Emergency medicine in small towns.’

  ‘A favourite hobby of yours?’

  ‘No. More…necessity.’

  Charli looked at him critically. ‘Necessity to present the paper or necessity to do the emergency medicine in a small town?’

  ‘Both, actually.’

  ‘And do you do everything in life by necessity, Logan?’ Her tone was almost critical but he realised it was just a smoke screen. Still, the question was a valid one.

  He smiled politely. ‘Sometimes.’ He knew she was stalling and she knew he knew. ‘Would you like me to read out the section about you?’

  Charli’s gaze dropped back to the papers in front of her. ‘No. No. I’ll read it myself.’

  ‘OK.’ Logan sat in silence, watching her as she flicked through the pages until she came face to face with a picture of herself. Even though her hair was pulled severely back into a chignon and her lips were only slightly curved into a tight smile, the eyes, the nose and the high cheekbones were all the same.

  They were all her!

  Charli read the biography about herself, desperately trying to feel the things she read. She’d certainly accomplished a lot in her life. She was thirty-one years old and had completed medical school at the age of twenty. She currently held the position Director of ER at a Los Angeles hospital. She continued to read the brief of her talks and then scanned the notes Logan had made from her lectures.

  When she’d finished, she looked at Logan. He’d finished his drink and his sandwich while she hadn’t even touched hers. Still, he was watching her closely.

  ‘Trying to figure out what I might be thinking?’

  Logan merely smiled.

  ‘Well, I’ll tell you. I’m thinking how can I read this about myself and it feels like I’m reading about someone I don’t know? Shouldn’t I feel something? Have at least some sort of mental reaction? Instead…nothing.’

  He nodded. ‘It may feel like nothing but it’s definitely a place to start. We know where you work, which means they’ll have a listing of where you live. You’ve already remembered the security code to your apartment, and once you’re back in your own environment the chances of your memory returning are quite high.’