Diagnosis

by Lucy Clark

‘She’ll be fine for transfer to Melbourne,’ he told Harriet.

  ‘What about the other kids?’ the mother gasped. ‘I’d totally forgotten about them.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Rose said, coming up behind Harriet and giving her a hug. ‘Mrs Blackwell’s already organised everything. One of your neighbours will meet you at the sports oval with an overnight bag for you and also Amelia’s favourite toy.’

  ‘And Kurt? What about him?’ Harriet asked Rose as they walked behind the stretcher to the ambulance. Logan and Charli climbed in beside Amelia and made room for Harriet.

  ‘We’ll get a message to him. You go and be with Amelia. She needs you.’

  Harriet sniffed and nodded. Logan met his mother’s gaze and mouthed, ‘Thank you.’ Rose closed the ambulance doors and soon Bruce was driving them to the sports oval. Harriet held her daughter’s hand, trying hard to be brave. Charli checked the burns area once more, diligently caring for the small child. Logan watched her, amazed at how great she’d been. Of course, he’d expected nothing less from the head of an emergency department but, still, it was so good to have someone else there to help carry the weight.

  Logan checked the drip and changed the bag over. ‘You’re doing a good job, Harriet,’ he said softly.

  ‘I can’t believe I wasn’t watching her. She shouldn’t have been in the kitchen and I’d just made a cup of tea and it was on the bench and I didn’t know she could reach that high. Why wasn’t I watching?’

  Logan nodded, knowing exactly how she felt. ‘I know it’s easy for me to say and hard for you to do, but don’t beat yourself up, Harriet. We can’t watch them twenty-four seven, and sometimes these things happen. Remember when Owen was two and he fell out of the window?’

  Harriet looked at him and nodded. ‘Yes.’

  Logan shook his head. ‘I still feel horrible about it. How could I have let that happen? Why hadn’t I been watching him? Why had I left the window open? I knew he was a climber. He climbed on anything he could—still does, for that matter.’ He smiled and placed a hand on the other woman’s shoulder. ‘But he was all right. A mild bump on the head but Owen was fine and he still is fine. Kids are resilient, they bounce. It’s us adults who store the memories and emotions. Amelia’s only two, and by the time she’s six she probably won’t remember much of this. You, however, will have it for ever in your catalogue of memories. That’s a fact. Another fact is, the more you mentally beat yourself up about it, the harder it’s going to be for you to get Amelia through this. That’s what you have to focus on now. Be strong for her, be happy when she sees you. She’ll cope so long as you cope. There’s nothing you can do to change what’s happened so try really hard to let it go.’

  ‘I know what you’re saying…but it is hard.’

  ‘Of course it is. That’s part of the parenting thing.’

  Harriet gave him a watery smile. ‘Thanks, Logan. Alison would be proud of the way you’ve raised her kids.’

  ‘Thank you. That’s nice to hear.’ They were pulling up at the sports oval, and when the rear doors opened Harriet stepped out first. ‘How’s her skin looking?’ he asked Charli as he performed the obs again and wrote down his findings.

  ‘Still not good but it’s over to the plastic surgeons now.’

  ‘I’m glad she’s stabilised for the journey.’

  ‘Me, too.’

  Amelia was taken over to the helicopter and loaded on while Logan and Charli gave their report to the retrieval team. Harriet climbed on board, her overnight bag stowed at her feet, her focus entirely on her daughter.

  They all stepped back as the chopper started, and once it was gone, Harriet’s neighbour spoke to Logan for a few minutes before leaving.

  ‘I’ll give you a ride back,’ Bruce said, and they all clambered into the ambulance. He dropped them back at Logan’s house. They went inside and found Rose clearing up.

  ‘No more patients?’

  ‘No. The hospital called through with Angie’s results.’ Rose handed them over. ‘I’ve cleaned the second examination room and just need you to finish up on a bit of paperwork from today’s activities and then you’re free to go.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Logan accepted the files. ‘Oh, I forgot to mention that Mrs Jenkinson wants a copy of—’

  ‘The breast-examination article?’ Rose finished. ‘Yes, I know. Charli told me.’

  Logan looked at the woman in question. ‘Thanks. OK, so I can have lunch now?’

  ‘Yes. I’ve arranged with Mrs Blackwell for me to have Harriet’s kids for tonight. That way I can pick all four children up from school, feed them and get them ready for bed. It’s also a treat for Josie and Mikey, which they’ll need as both of their parents will be in Melbourne with Amelia.’

  ‘Have you managed to get hold of Kurt?’

  ‘Yes. I called through to Planet Electronics and he’s going to drive straight to Melbourne. I suggested he stop by home and get a change of clothes for a few days which, once he calmed down, he said he’d do.’

  ‘He’s driving by himself?’ Logan was concerned. ‘Kurt’s not good with pressure and stress, especially where it concerns his family,’ he explained to Charli.

  ‘I agree, so I spoke to Jon and he said Marty was at the plant and was heading back to Melbourne so would take Kurt with him.’

  ‘Excellent. All right. I’ll get these done during lunch and then I’m off to the hospital.’ He glanced at Charli. ‘Ready to eat?’

  She shrugged. ‘I guess so.’ They headed to Logan’s house, leaving his mother to finish up at the clinic.

  ‘Now, if I make you lunch today, will you eat it?’ He set the notes down and headed for the refrigerator.

  ‘Yes.’ She sat on the stool at the bench. ‘Planet Electronics.’

  ‘What about them?’

  ‘They’re here? In the Grampians?’

  Logan realised she was remembering things but didn’t want to break her chain of thought. ‘The plant where Kurt works is in Heartfield, which is south-west of here. It’s not in the Grampians themselves but a lot of people who live here work there.’

  ‘Planet Electronics?’ Charli asked incredulously.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘The people who are branching into biomedical technology all around the world?’

  ‘Yes. Why? Did you want to meet the guys responsible?’

  ‘You know them?’

  ‘Jon and Marty. Sure. Their sister, Halley, is a doctor in Heartfield.’

  ‘I’ve been looking for a company to make the prototype for a new piece of computer software I’ve designed. It’s all a bit rough but I’ve been very impressed with what I’ve read about Planet Electronics.’

  Logan nodded, a slow smile crossing his face. ‘And what’s that?’

  ‘Well, they’re reliable for a start. They always deliver, their overhead costs aren’t too exorbitant and they have the staff and equipment I need. I had no idea they were so close to where I am now.’

  ‘Amazing.’ Logan leaned on the bench, just watching her, waiting for her to realise she was remembering. When she gasped in wonderment, he couldn’t help laughing. ‘You’re cute.’

  ‘Don’t tease me.’

  ‘I’m not.’ He started making sandwiches for lunch but couldn’t keep the smile from his face. ‘You just start talking and I don’t want to interrupt in case I block the memory.’

  ‘So this is how it’s going to be. Little patches at a time.’

  ‘I guess so.’

  ‘How far away is Heartfield?’

  ‘It’s about half an hour from the lower end of the Grampians, down Dunkeld way. And before you ask…’ he held up his hand to silence the question he could see forming ‘Dunkeld is about an hour’s drive south from Halls Gap.’

  ‘And Planet Electronics have the plant there?’

  ‘Yes. It’s almost out in the middle of nowhere.’

  ‘And you know the doctor there.’

  ‘Doctors—plural. Halley married Max Pearson and they
both run the hospital there. They have three children and their oldest is the same age as Trinity, so it makes it easy when we want to get together for a barbecue or something social like that.’

  ‘So they help you out in big emergencies and vice versa?’

  ‘If it’s a big search and rescue, yes.’

  ‘I can’t believe I’m so close.’ She paused. ‘I can’t believe I remembered everything just like that!’ She snapped her fingers and laughed. ‘It’s such a nice feeling.’

  Logan enjoyed her mood while they ate lunch. He quickly wrote up the case notes for his mother and then, without even needing to ask, Charli accompanied Logan to Stawell Hospital for his afternoon shift.

  ‘Being in a medical environment seems to relax you,’ he stated as they drove.

  ‘Yes, it does. I guess as I can remember how to do medical procedures, it’s a way for me to feel more in control of my present situation.’

  He agreed. Both were silent for a while before Charli said, ‘Logan…about that kiss…’

  ‘Don’t go there, Charli.’ His words were abrupt and she jerked back in surprise. ‘Not now. Not while I’m driving. I’m desperately trying to concentrate so don’t go talking about kisses when I’m working hard to ignore the way whatever perfume you’re wearing is winding itself about my senses.’

  ‘Oh.’ A wave of longing spread through her at his words. She sniffed the air, not smelling anything except whatever aftershave he was wearing!

  ‘And don’t bite your lower lip in that cute way you’re doing right now because it really distracts me.’

  ‘Well, the same goes for you,’ she countered. ‘Stop saying I distract you because hearing that sets me on fire.’

  Logan groaned as he pulled the car into the hospital car park and cut the engine. Silence filled the air. ‘This is wrong, Charli.’ He didn’t turn to face her, he couldn’t. If he looked at her, he would crumble. ‘There are so many reasons why we shouldn’t even be sitting here discussing this. You not knowing who you are is top of the list.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘Good. Then it’s settled. We’re going to get out of the car and I’m going to pull superhuman control from somewhere and get on with my shift at the hospital.’

  ‘Right.’

  Neither of them moved. Slowly, Logan turned his head to look at her, knowing he should be getting out of the car instead. Charli glanced up at him, aware that the glazed look of desire in his eyes mirrored the one in hers.

  ‘This is so wrong,’ he whispered, as he leaned towards her.

  ‘I know.’ Charli held her breath, waiting impatiently for the moment when their lips would touch once more. It seemed like days, weeks, months since they’d been this close, instead of just a few hours.

  When his mouth finally made contact with hers, she sighed with longing. She’d been following her instincts, trusting her instincts, and now those same instincts were telling her she’d never felt this way before.

  She edged closer, frustrated to find she was bound by her seat belt, and as she wriggled, Logan quickly pulled back.

  ‘Charli.’ He cleared his throat.

  ‘I guess I’m not your patient any more,’ she stated.

  ‘No. Definitely not. I discharged you hours ago, did I forget to tell you?’ He shook his head and pressed his lips longingly to hers once more. ‘No,’ he said again. ‘We need to go inside…now.’ With that, he opened his door and stood, exhaling harshly as he raked a hand through his hair. He waited for her to climb out before locking the car and heading inside. He knew exactly where she was, he could feel her, sense her, and just knowing that was enough to send his mind into a spinning vortex of ‘if onlys’. If only she didn’t have amnesia, if only she would stay in Australia, if only she could be content to stay and live in Halls Gap with him.

  ‘Too many issues,’ he growled as he headed for the ward, Charli about a step behind him. He checked on Angie and was pleased to see she was feeling much better.

  ‘We’re going to need to monitor you quite closely from now on, at least until you get to learn the signs and symptoms of the angina attacks.’

  ‘So this is going to happen again?’ Angie asked, concerned.

  ‘More than likely,’ Logan responded. ‘We’ll work together, Angie. You, me, your family. This is something we’re all involved in and you need to know you’re not alone. We also need to talk about your daughter and the fact that her leaving next year is putting you under a great deal of emotional stress.’

  ‘You think that’s what brought on that pain yesterday?’

  ‘I’m almost certain of it. I know it can’t be easy to let go and, believe me, I’m not looking forward to it at all. As far as I’m concerned, both Trinity and Owen are living at home with me until they’re well into their fifties. Then I might think about letting them go.’

  Angie smiled at his words. ‘Can I go home today?’

  ‘I’d like you to stay until tomorrow morning just so we can monitor you for that extra twenty-four hours.’

  ‘OK.’

  ‘Good.’

  Maree came into the room and called him over. ‘You have two patients in A and E.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He looked at his patient. ‘You take it easy and try to relax. We’ll get through this, all right?’

  ‘Yes.’ She nodded and gave him a watery smile.

  He said goodbye to Angie and looked around the nurses’ station. ‘Where’s Charli?’

  ‘She’s reading in the hospital library.’

  He shrugged and headed down to A and E with Maree. ‘What have you got for me?’

  ‘One is for removal of ear wax and the other is for a child with a urinary tract infection.’

  ‘Sounds peachy.’ He set to work and ended up with several cases trickling in over the next few hours. He called his children, making sure they were home from school, doing their homework and behaving themselves for their grandparents. He put them on speaker phone while he wrote up some case notes.

  ‘Josie’s here, too,’ Trinity said. ‘Grandma’s going to let her and Mikey stay while their mum and dad are away with Amelia. Isn’t that cool?’

  ‘I’m glad they’re happy.’

  ‘Grandma said Amelia was really sick. Is she going to be OK?’

  ‘She should be, sweetheart. We’ll know more tomorrow morning. Be good for Grandma and I’ll come and give you a kiss when I get home.’ Logan heard a noise behind him and turned to see Charli. He smiled but went back to his conversation.

  ‘Can I sleep at Grandma’s tonight? Please, Dad? Mikey and Owen can sleep at our house and I can stay here with Josie.’ Trinity was pleading with all her might and it looked as though she already had everything worked out.

  ‘I’ll discuss it with Grandma. Put her on.’

  Logan was conscious of Charli being in the room and able to hear everything that was being said. He glanced at her while he waited for his mother to come to the phone. Even in his sister-in-law’s clothes, she still looked…untouchable. She held herself with a mixture of poise, determination and grace. She was way out of his league and he’d known that the first time he’d laid eyes on her. It wasn’t just her intellect or looks but the fact that she came from a completely different world.

  He was a single parent with two children in tow. Those were the words his ex-fiancée had used when she’d broken off their engagement five years ago. She’d been astounded that Logan had not only wanted to give up his lucrative city practice but that he’d actually wanted to move to Halls Gap to keep his niece and nephew in their familiar surroundings.

  ‘Logan?’ His mother’s voice brought himself back to the present. He discussed the children’s sleeping arrangements with his mother. ‘Trin’s a very empathetic little girl, Logan. She feels Josie’s and Mikey’s unease and knows this solution might make it better for them.’

  ‘She’s so much like Trev.’

  ‘She’s like you,’ his mother said softly. ‘Also…’ Rose cleared her throat and
sighed. ‘Wil wants to talk to you or Charli. He has some information for her.’

  ‘OK.’ Logan looked at Charli and she met his gaze. The fear which had been missing for most of the day was back. She was so torn between wanting and not wanting to know. ‘I’ll give him a call. Gotta go, Mum. Kiss the kids for me.’

  ‘All right. See you later tonight.’

  Logan rang off, watching Charli. ‘Do you want me to call Wil now?’

  Charli shook her head. ‘No. Let it wait.’ She felt safe here, safe with Logan, but finding out about herself had to remain her primary focus. She couldn’t go on living her life in limbo. Although it had only been yesterday morning she’d been found, the time since then had been interesting. She’d discovered a lot about herself and for some strange reason she knew it was stuff she’d never realised before. Intuition was her guiding force and she was learning to listen to it. Still, she’d rather wait a little longer.

  ‘Sure.’ He nodded, not wanting to push her. Instead, he forced himself to turn his attention back to his work. He picked up his pen and started writing up another set of case notes.

  Charli sat in the chair beside him. ‘You think I’m wrong, don’t you?’ she said.

  ‘No. I think you need to do what you need to do. If you want to prolong it for a bit longer, that’s fine so long as you know it’s there, waiting to be dealt with.’

  ‘I do know and I’m not running away from it.’

  He smiled at her and closed the file in front of him. ‘Of course you’re not. You’re not that type.’

  ‘Meaning?’

  ‘You’re a doer, Charli. It’s part of who you are. You see a job that needs doing and you get in there and do it. You don’t spend your life procrastinating over every little thing. You wouldn’t have got as far in life if you did.’

  Charli appreciated his words and sighed, feeling the earlier tension leave her. ‘You’re a nice man, Logan.’

  ‘So you’ve said before.’

  ‘That’s because it’s true. You give and you give and you give—to your parents, your children, your patients and your friends. It’s just one of the things I’ve noticed about you since we met yesterday.’

  Logan shook his head. ‘Hard to believe we’ve learnt so much about each other in such a short time.’