Alpha Liberation: A Bear Shifter Mpreg Romance (Feral Passions Book 1)

by Preston Walker

  He wondered, as the sun set through the trees, casting him in a sad red light, whether he would be alone forever. Would he be left wandering for the rest of his life, never able to settle down no matter where he went, or what he did?

  He felt certain, deep down, he knew the answer to that question.

  He continued on through the forest until at last he made it back to the clearing where he'd parked his truck. He reached into the passenger's seat and pulled out his clothes, sliding them on over his damp, naked body, the heat feeling a little bit oppressive against his skin as he did so.

  He'd gotten so used to being naked and unashamed again over the past several days, but he thought he might be willing to die for a drink right about now. If having to put on clothes like a normal human being was the price he had to pay for a decent shot of whiskey, then so be it.

  Once he was dressed, he slid into the driver's seat and started up the engine. He drove off down along the forest's dirt road and kept going until he pulled onto the highway. Then he instantly jammed his foot onto the gas pedal, accelerating from twenty miles per hour to almost eighty in a matter of seconds. He was in no particular hurry, but he found himself craving the speed, the furious movement of his progress. These days, the momentum of fast driving was one of the only things that made him feel alive.

  About a minute along as he sped down the road, he was surprised by the sudden buzzing of his cell phone on the seat beside him. He'd learned not to expect much at this point. It was probably just one of his past employers, asking him whether he was up for more work. That happened sometimes, though rarely did he remain in an area long enough to take them up on such offers.

  He plugged the phone into his cigarette lighter, noting how low the battery had gotten. Then he swiped the screen to unlock it and opened a message from a number he didn't recognize.

  His eyes widened.

  The message staring back at him nearly caused him to drive off the road with surprise.

  “Chris, it's Alexander. I need to talk to you. Let me know when you can meet me.”

  He sped on in silence down the road, astonished as he stared down at his phone. The car twisted and lurched dangerously from shoulder to shoulder as he attempted to stay focused on the path ahead. But he found he couldn't look away from the screen, as though he feared by doing so the message might disappear right there before his very bewildered eyes.

  6

  Alexander,” said Chris, savoring the taste of his name on his lips. He never thought he'd have the chance to speak it to him again. Alexander sat across from him at the corner table of a coffee shop, his eyes nearly as cold as they'd been on the morning of Chris' departure. There was something else in them now, though. Not just indifference or hatred, but a look of concern, Chris thought, though about what he couldn't quite figure out. He didn't let the contrast of their demeanors get him down, though. This felt like his second chance. His one chance, perhaps, to make things right between them.

  “You look great,” he said, when silence ensued for too long.

  “Um. Thank you,” said Alexander, casting his eyes to the side. His face got a little bit red, and Chris liked this.

  A waitress came and took their orders. Alexander ordered black coffee, Chris ordered green tea. The woman left them, and Chris took note of a man across the restaurant, standing near the entrance. He'd been staring in at them and turned abruptly away when Chris' eyes roved up to his own.

  “Who's your friend?” Chris asked, having noticed the man accompanying him as they pulled up outside the cafe.

  “Oh,” said Alexander, “that's Emmanuel. He's um...He's just here looking out for me.”

  Chris looked blankly at him. He felt something fall inside him. Felt the heat of shame spreading over him like a blanket.

  “You think I might hurt you,” he said matter of factly. The pit of his stomach twisted in shame as he remembered the thin, slender wrist in his hand, and he thought about how dangerously red-hot his heart had been beating on that morning as Alexander pushed him away. The violence that must have flashed at him from his eyes.

  “What?” Alexander looked genuinely surprised at this suggestion, and it seemed to take him a moment to remember what Chris was talking about. It seemed to dawn on him, and he closed his eyes, shook his head. “No, it's not about that. It's not about you. It's about...Well...It's about the thing I needed to meet you here about.”

  Chris was confused and looked at him with a single eyebrow raised.

  “I'm not sure I understand,” he said.

  The waitress came back with their orders, and the men thanked her. Chris watched Alexander sipping on his coffee, looking down into the black surface, the smoke rolling up and obscuring his beautiful young face.

  “Chris,” he said, after a very long silence. He paused for a moment, seeming to hold his words on the tip of his tongue. Then his eyes swiveled up to the alpha male, fixing him intently in his gaze. “I'm pregnant.”

  Chris stopped on the verge of spitting out a hot mouthful of tea. He swallowed it with a painful effort, and a little puff of steam snaked out from his lips as he caught his breath.

  “You're—” he began to repeat. Alexander nodded before he could finish the thought. Then after a moment's consideration, “And I'm—”

  Again, Alexander nodded. “There hasn't been anyone else since that night,” he said. “You're the only one, ever. So. Barring some kind of immaculate conception...You're the father.” He’d mustered up a smile as he said it, but Chris' stony expression seemed to wipe it away again in a hurry.

  Chris felt totally blank in that moment. Totally detached as he processed the news. His heart did somersaults in his chest, and his mind reeled with the implications of what he was hearing.

  “That's...That's...” he stammered, and he could think of only one word for it in the end. “Incredible!” Then he looked up, aware that he might be the only one at this table who thought so.

  He was surprised, when he looked into Alexander's face, to see it lacked the coldness of before. His brows were furrowed into a look of worry, surprise, or something.

  “I mean,” said Chris, backtracking. “I guess maybe you don't feel the same way. I know, that morning, this didn't really seem like anything you might have wanted...But, as far as I'm concerned, even if you don't want me, I promise you, Alexander I will do everything I can. Everything I possibly have in my power to do to make sure our child is cared for. To make sure he has everything in life he could ever need.”

  Liquid pushed through from the corners of Alexander's eyes. It zigzagged down along his face in twin streams, and he lowered his head with a sigh.

  “Please,” said Chris, the knife twisting in his heart. “I can’t stand not knowing what’s going on inside your head right now. Just tell me what you want from me, what you need. Even if you think it’s something I might not like.”

  Alexander was silent another moment, then took in a deep breath.

  “Chris,” the omega said at last. “I was a fool. I don't not want you...even on that morning, when I was kicking you out of my room like the world's biggest son of a bitch. The truth is, I've thought about you every minute of every day since you walked out of my life. I've regretted my words, my actions, and how long it's taken me to come to my senses. I've wished I could take it all back. I've wished I could just have that night with you to do over again. To be upfront with you about everything, and redo this past month or so all over again. But do it right this time.”

  Chris gaped at him. He took a hard swallow. He reached across the table for him. He grabbed for the same hand he'd seized on that morning. Alexander hesitated for a moment, then let his fingers be taken up in Chris' own. He lifted his damp eyes to those of the alpha male and sniffed. Chris smiled at him and had to choke back his own tears as the emotion overtook him.

  “I want that too,” he said, trying to make his voice sound as low and as reassuring as he could. “But, it's not too late. We can work through all of tha
t. Alexander, the truth is, even though we barely know each other...That night together, with you. It was one of the best I've ever had in my life. And not just for the reasons you might be thinking. I felt a connection with you. A sense, when I was holding you in my arms, or when we were down talking at the bar, or wrestling across the hotel floor—”

  Alexander choked out a laugh through his tears at this, and Chris beamed at him. “I sensed, through all of that,” he continued, “I'd finally found someone who understood me. Who knew me. Someone who I could care about. Someone, I guess, who'd also spent their life alone, running, like I had. Even if the things we were running from were completely different from one another. The truth is, ever since I met you, and you told me about your sleuth, I've thought of nothing but being together with you. Nothing but joining your people and building a life together among them. Maybe it sounds like I was thinking way too far ahead, but—”

  “Chris—” Alexander said, trying to cut in, but Chris kept going.

  “But Alexander, I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way you do. And I never believed, all these years, that there could ever be a place like the one you described to me in this world. Where our people were still alive and thriving. Where we could exist without being afraid of persecution.”

  “Chris,” Alexander repeated, more feebly. Still Chris continued.

  “And all of it...The two of us meeting that night, completely by coincidence, while we were headed in totally opposite directions. The connection we instantly shared, like we already knew one another before we'd even met. The fact that you seemed to stand for everything I'd always been looking for in life, and then, that you would—I mean, that you would end up carrying my child...It has to mean something, Alexander. I know it does. And I promise you, now the only thing in the world I want is to do whatever it takes to see this through with you. To be with you. To build a life together. To give you the happiness that you deserve.”

  “Chris,” said Alexander a third time, finally getting his attention on this go, by placing his other hand on top of Chris' own, sandwiching him between his palms. Chris looked down at their hands, then up into Alexander's eyes.

  “Sorry,” Chris said with a crooked grin. “I was rambling, wasn't I?”

  Alexander smiled, then sighed.

  “Chris, I believe you. I really do, about everything. And I feel the same way, but...but there's something I haven't told you. Something I should have told you on that night, and that I tried to tell you. But I was too afraid. Too confused. Too...Something.”

  Chris raised his eyebrows at him. “What is it?” he asked, fully attentive. “You can tell me.”

  Alexander held him with his big green eyes and seemed to see that he really could tell him. He looked down, though, evidently still ashamed.

  “That night,” he said, “when I told you it was my first time—it was the truth. But there was a reason that was the case. I was saving myself for—for marriage. Marriage to my fiancé. An alpha male from my sleuth, called Jules. The strongest man among our people, outside of my family.”

  Chris felt his emotions drain away inside his chest. He thought his face might have gone white, but he wasn't sure. The initial instinct of his former self might have been to react with violence. To vie to win Alexander over and take what was rightfully his.

  But he'd lost so much, time and time again over the course of his life. Flying off the handle in such a way never felt like any kind of viable response to anything.

  He just sat there, looking sullenly down at the table.

  “You're engaged,” he said blankly. “Engaged to be married.”

  There was a long silence. A light clinking of plates and glasses around the cafe, a young woman laughing far too loud at something her friend had just said in a far corner of the room.

  At last it was broken by Alexander again, who said softly, “I don't love him.”

  A dim beam of hope flashed in Chris' mind. He looked up, staring into Alexander's face. He looked utterly serious, one hundred percent sincere in his words.

  “I don't love Jules,” he repeated. “In fact, the very idea of being married to him makes me sick to my stomach. He's violent. Repulsive. He hurts people, and worse than that, he loves hurting people. He sees me as an object. A trophy. Something he deserves for being strong and ruthless, a prize for the arrogant asshole he is. It's only because of his rank and mine, that I got trapped into marrying him. I thought it was my duty to go through with it, for the good of my family and the sleuth.”

  “I...I see,” said Chris, trying to imagine being inside of that sort of situation himself. He'd never even met this son of a bitch Jules, but he could already feel himself beginning to hate him with every fiber of his being.

  “That's why I had to bring Emmanuel here with me. To keep watch and make sure we didn't run into anyone we knew. If he found out who I was meeting, or what the two of us had done...Well,” he laughed here, shaking his head. “He's going to find out eventually, of course.”

  Chris didn't laugh. He looked at Alexander with total seriousness, already thinking of ways they could solve this problem.

  “What do you want to do about this?” he asked, and he noticed the tone of his voice caused goosebumps to erupt along the course of Alexander's arms.

  “I don't know,” he said, shaking his head. “I don't know, Chris. I'm just afraid.”

  “Don't be afraid,” Chris said, and he placed his other hand on top of Alexander's own, trying to calm him down. He felt some of the tension leave him, and after a moment, Alexander looked up, his expression one of total sincerity once again.

  “We could run,” he said. “Leave it all behind. I could say to hell with it, and—”

  “And go where?” asked Chris. The optimism fell from Alexander's face. He sighed.

  “Yeah,” he said. “That's the same question I've been asking myself for years now. Even before I met you.”

  “It's not easy,” said Chris. “Not having anywhere you belong in this world. Nowhere you can truly call home. It's the only thing I've known, for a very long time. It's not the life I want, either for you or for our child. You still have a home where you belong. And I think it would be a mistake for you to throw that away.”

  Alexander shook his head, looking down at their stacked hands.

  “What if I've already thrown it away?” he asked. “I mean...How can I go back there now? After what I've done? After the way I've betrayed them? I mean, I can't see any possible way to get around the consequences of what we've done except to run. It's like I said, Jules is an alpha male! He's not just going to stand by and let his omega be taken from him by some outsider. The only possible way I can think of for you to make a claim on me from him. And for the sleuth to even think about maybe letting you join us, would be for you to take him on in battle. To prove to my fathers and to our people, that you're a more worthy partner for me than he is.”

  Chris thought about this. He thought about how much of his life he'd had to spend fighting up until now and how tired of it all he really was. His bones ached just to think about it.

  Then he thought about Alexander. The man who'd stolen his heart. He was the man who carried his child within him, and the man who, in a matter of weeks, had become his everything. He’d honestly become the only thing in his life that made it even remotely worth living.

  He took a deep breath, furrowing his brow, and made his decision.

  “If fighting is what it will take to free you from this prison, to give you and our child freedom...then, well...I guess I'm fighting.”

  Alexander looked up at him, surprised, like he hadn't actually expected him to take this suggestion seriously. “What? No...No, Chris—Jules is—he's...”

  “He's what? An alpha male?” He smiled as he spoke, needing to reassure himself as much as Alexander. “Well, I've got news for him. So am I. And I have a hell of a lot more to lose than he does.”

  Alexander opened his mouth soundlessly, then closed it
again, seeming lost for words.

  “Are you sure?” he asked finally. “I mean. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  Chris didn't falter. He held the omega in his cool gray eyes, staring as though gazing into his very soul. “I've never been more sure of anything in my life,” he said.

  Again, tears pushed through the corners of Alexander's eyes, and a smile spread across his face in spite of himself.

  The men leaned across the table to one another and kissed hungrily.

  Never in his life had Chris so passionately savored the taste of another man's lips.

  7

  Alexander stood at the head of vast hall. The men he'd known all his life stood clustered around him, all facing the center of the room. Scarcely any of them had seen fit to look at him since he'd come back home with Chris and revealed the news about his pregnancy. Almost instantly, the news had spread of his lechery, his betrayal, and Alexander had the creeping feeling that, no matter what happened from this point onward, things between him and the sleuth would never be the same again. How could he ever really expect them to be?

  He looked across his room and spotted his fathers, Michael and Denis, making their way to a high seat at the head of the chamber. Neither of them looked over at him. Stepping behind in their wake were his two brothers, Nev and Theo. Theo kept his eyes forward, staring straight ahead with a professional disinterest. Nev at least cast his eyes across the expanse of the room and gave Alexander a fleeting, sympathetic look. He turned away again quickly, and Alexander felt more alone than he ever had in his life.