Angel Blackwood

by Sophie Summers

  Talon looks back at me and just like his brother did, runs his hands through his hair. His entire attitude turns irate, his shoulders tense and he stands up straight; it’s as if he’s angry with me. He walks anxiously back and forth between the door and where I stand.

  “Fuck! What have I done?” He lets out a deep breath whilst talking out loud.

  He turns to face me as he says, “I’m sorry Angel but that shouldn’t have happened. Fuck!” He walks towards the door that links the bathroom and the twin’s room then stops with his hand on the door knob.

  “I have to go. I know we’re mates but I’m dating Lucy. She’s been here for me when you…well, when you were wherever the fuck you were. She’s a great girl and I can’t just dump her now that you’ve decided to come back and face the real world. You have led Tyler and I along for how long now? The least you can do is give us some time. We need to find a way to deal with this,” he says, gesturing to me with the wave of a hand.

  To deal with this?

  He wipes his face with both palms then lets out a deep breath.

  I stand there frozen with a trembling hand covering my mouth, trying not to cry out. I’m waiting for him to say the words and make the rejection final… but he doesn’t.

  I look up to see him watching me with a sad look on his face, I can’t help but beg for a chance.

  “Talon, please… don’t do this. I know so much has happened between us, but things have changed. Remember how it used to be? You love me remember?” I whisper the last part. I know I’m begging, I couldn’t look anymore pathetic than I do right now, but I have to try. I don’t think my heart could survive anymore rejection tonight.

  I take a step towards him and gently touch his chest. When Lucy bangs on the door again Talon flinches then pushes my hand away from him harshly.

  “No Lexi. You may be a cheater, but I sure as fuck am not.” He looks me up and down full of disgust, forcing me to cower away from him. I notice he called me Lexi not Angel, that hurt more than any of the harsh words he put together.

  He turns and walks out the door without a second look in my direction. I flinch when he forcefully slams it shut, making my windows rattle.

  I stand frozen, my heart is hurting, I’m exhausted and broken. I walk towards my little balcony and open the glass doors. I close my eyes, letting the fresh cold air dry up my tears. The music is still blaring and I can hear people laughing and having a great time downstairs. Everyone is at the back of the house so luckily no one is in the garden below my bedroom.

  I know how much I’ve put the twins through since my arrival. I guess this is my karma for all the shit I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt. But I’m so angry with the way both of them have just abandoned me. It overshadows my understanding of the reasons they have for their behaviour towards me.

  The more I think about it, the angrier I become because I told myself I would never allow anyone to treat me this way again. The familiar tingly feeling behind my eyes begins, I know this could only carry trouble if I lose control of myself in my father’s pack house.

  Running to my closet I grab a pair of track pants and a comfortable shirt, covering that with an oversized hoody. As I’m putting on my shoes I hear people talking in the hallway outside my door. I’m not ready to speak to my parents and I don’t want to explain the events of the evening either. I don’t want to see their disappointment in me; I’ll save that for later.

  I run to the balcony and look from side to side trying to find a way down. I blink away the prickly feeling in my eyes, they are now full on burning. The wind has started to pick up, whipping my hair back and forth. No matter how hard I try to calm myself down, I just can’t.

  My heart is beating way to fast.

  Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

  All I want to do is run.

  There’s a ledge to the side and a tree about two feet away. I estimate that if I can get over to ledge on the left I’ll be able to jump on one of the thick branches.

  Just then my foot slips on the railing and I stumble but manage to catch my balance. I hold on to the gutter with all my might, my heart rate speeds up, as does the force of the wind. I slide my feet to exactly where I want them, making sure not to look down, even though I can see how high up I am in my peripheral vision.

  I manage to turn my body around so that my back is leaning against the cold wall and I’m facing the tree. My judgement is seriously off because that tree is definitely not two feet away. It’s a big leap but it’s too late now, I just have to make this jump and hope for the best.

  I bend as much as I possibly can and jump. I just make the tree, but the thick branch knocks me in my chest as I collide with it and I’m left holding on for dear life. I look down and realise that I’m not too far from the ground - I don’t think I will break anything if I land the right way.

  I slowly loosen my grip on the branch and gravity takes hold as I fall to the ground with a thud.

  Of course I don’t land gracefully. I land flat on my back, winding myself in the process and curling on the ground wheezing for air. Finally after a few moments I manage to catch my breath and am able to get back onto my feet. I head toward the little pathway across the car park - the pathway leading to the forest.

  Walking through the cars, I hear movement and voices to my left. I duck behind one of the cars and peep through the glass window.

  A girl giggles and I watch as hands wrap around her waist as she leans against someone who is leaning against a dark blue car.

  “So it doesn’t mean we’re over, baby?”

  The familiar girls voice sends chills down my spine.

  When Talon’s face comes into view, a low growl leaves my lips. I cover my hand over my mouth.

  Where the hell did that come from? These wolves are definitely rubbing off on me.

  I watch Talon look around as if he heard me; I know he won’t track my scent due to the crazy wind. He looks over the girls shoulder. It’s a distant look in the wrong direction but it doesn’t last long, seconds later his eyes meet the girls face infront of him.

  He smiles and my heart drops.

  “No way, Luce. The fates definitely made a mistake with this one.” I notice the smile he gives her is the same one I’ve been using on many occasions these past few months. It’s forced, but the girl doesn’t realize it. I can feel the lie as soon as he says it, just like I felt it when Tyler lied. This time I’m not sad, I’m furious.

  I turn, standing straight up, squaring my shoulders and refusing to look at the love birds any longer. My hurt is transformed into something more wild, more feral and something uncontrollable.

  Rage.

  I can feel the little flames of silver in my eyes and I welcome the burn, I breathe it in.

  I continue my way over to the forest not even caring if Talon sees me. It’s really dark in the woods, even though it’s about three in the morning. The wind is manic now, trees are swaying and the bark is creaking.

  Out of nowhere, I’m forced to hunch over due to a sharp pain in my chest. My heart feels as if it’s about to explode as I fall to my hands and knees trying to catch my breath. This pain is similar to the pain I felt when I was rejected by Jax, but this time the pain starts to move throughout my aching body. My entire body is sweating, but it’s cold out. My fingers fumble to get my jacket off and I quickly throw it to the side. Sweat drips into the sand infront of my eyes, I wipe my forehead and move my hair away from my face; it’s soaking wet.

  What the hell is happening to me?

  Chapter 2:

  Three Months Ago

  I’ve been home for a week since Drake attacked me, leaving me behind in this town to find someone that can help him control his wolf, Sebastien. My feelings are all fucked up and all I want right now is to be left alone.

  I can’t even use the term moody to describe the temperamental attitude I’ve had since I found myself in this situation.

  I’ve been absolutely miserable, I don’t know h
ow to fix it and I don’t know if I even want to.

  Everyone wants to know what happened at Point Bright, but I refuse to speak about it. I will not get any more people involved when it comes to my problems.

  The bruises and scratches healed eventually, but my lower back and ass are permanently scarred. Drake marred my pale skin with ugly pink marks when he whipped me. I’ve been thinking about getting some ink to cover the ugly scars he left behind because no amount of vitamin E oil will repair the skin; I’m not even sure I want them gone… it’s a reminder to never second guess myself again.

  I should have listened to my gut the first time Drake slammed me up against a door. I knew I should have broken up with him, but I didn’t. It’s entirely my fault, no amount of what-ifs will heal all the wounds he engraved into my flesh. That’s something that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

  I could have prevented it…

  After refusing to let the twins into my bed since the day Alex found me all bruised up, and after continuously pushing the them away, they began putting distance between us. At the time it was what I needed, I had no idea what that void would do to our relationship in the future.

  I barely allow Alex and Johnny to touch me, so there’s no way in hell I can even envisage the twins hands on me. I guess Drake got what he wanted after all. I can’t even think about Talon and Tyler without going into a full blown panic attack.

  Sometimes I find myself waking up in a cold sweat all because I dreamt about that night I kissed the twins; I’m so afraid Drake will find out about my dreams. I’m constantly looking around, scared he’s lurking around a corner ready to jump me for thinking about anyone other than him.

  There isn’t a minute, hell, every second I’m thinking about the threat he made to hurt the all the people I love. His words “No more Alex… No more Johnny…” linger in the back of my mind, giving me the chills… and not the good kind either.

  I love the twin’s and my parents more than I cherish my own life at this point, the thought of Drake harming any of them causes a twisted pain in my chest.

  In the beginning, the twins tried talking me into leaving my room, but I just couldn’t physically do it; too afraid to abandon my little safe haven. If it wasn’t for Alex and Johnny coming into my room and force feeding me every day the first two weeks, I would have most probably starved.

  I was so mad at Drake: 1 - for what he did to me and 2 - for leaving me behind and running away like so many in my life have done before him; especially after he was the one to hurt me. Deep down I know he didn’t run away, he left to get help and subconsciously I have a little respect for him for doing it. If anything, I’m mostly disappointed in myself for allowing him to hurt me the way he did, running to him just two days later and begging him to stay like a love sick puppy. I was in panic mode and all I could think of in that moment was, another one bites the dust…

  First it was James who left me, then Georgina with her downward spiral, Jax was next and when I saw Drake packing his bag and I panicked.

  I know it’s fucked up but I miss him; Drake that is. Maybe I miss the Drake I had before Sebastian became so dominant within him or maybe I’m trying to force myself to love him because I’m kinda stuck with him. I know what the consequences will be if I leave him and I will not have anyone hurt because of me. I’ve already messed up so much and broken many friendships because of it, I’m just one big fucking mess.

  As the weeks progressed, the twins slowly but surely started avoiding me. I saw Drake a few times and even though I was petrified, he managed to calm me. He looked well and seemed really happy, which weirdly made me feel better and less worried the more I was around him; it made me believe my old Drake was back.

  He was gentle and sweet and made me feel loved and not so alone. He apologised constantly and asked me if I loved him about ten times a day, as if to reassure himself. After a while I even started believing the lie myself.

  I mended my relationship with Ronny and Chloe and even though things are still a bit awkward between us, I know they still love me and I love them; possibly even more so now, knowing they stuck around even after all I had put them through.

  As for Jax? Not even a blip on my radar…

  The twins aren’t around as often these days. Johnny finally managed to get me to leave my bedroom a few days ago. He wanted me to train and work out instead of sitting holed up all day. All the training Johnny gave me previously didn’t do shit when Drake was holding me down that night. He was too strong and powerful for me to even think I could over power him let alone physically do it.

  I don’t know why Johnny can’t see that when a weak human like me comes across a big bad wolf, a few kicks here and a couple slaps there don’t amount to shit. But I don’t tell him that because he seems to enjoy spending time with me, teaching me all the self-defence techniques that may work perfectly on a human but flat out fail against a possessive angry he-wolf; most probably a she-wolf too.

  The only thing I can really rely on when it comes to defending myself is the supposed white magic that’s hidden within me, even though it doesn’t seem so pure when I’m squeezing the life out of another. But I’ll stick to the term white magic because I don’t know what the hell to call it.

  I heard Alex talking to Johnny today about Talon and Tyler’s girlfriend’s. I wasn’t aware they were even dating, but why would I when we haven’t spoken in weeks. I guess I deserve the hurt I feel and the tears that fall when I hear about how much Alex doesn’t like the new girls; despite the boys falling hard for them.

  This is what I wanted after all, wasn’t it? I mean… I did push them away. I suppose I just didn’t realise what it would feel like when I finally pushed them away for good. I’m just glad I don’t have to see these girls as they don’t seem to bring them to the pack house.

  I know I love Talon and Tyler. Deep down, despite the jealously within me, I want them to be happy. Since I’ve only brought them trouble since I’ve arrived, I’m hoping their girlfriend’s are everything they deserve. I don’t like to think about it though. I don’t want to think about them with someone else and I certainly don’t want to talk about it, it causes a pain in my chest and makes me question every choice I’ve made when it comes to Drake.

  My nerves have gotten the best of me these last few days anticipating my birthday. I’m so afraid of what will happen. Will I even shift? And if I do, will I survive it?

  The twins have started to act a little strangely too, these last few days. They’ve been hanging around the house, maybe they’re also worried I won’t survive the shift so they’re trying to see me as much as they can; just in case… Just in case I don’t make it.

  They don’t speak to me and they’re always a safe distance away, but I can feel their eyes on me wherever I go. Strange as it may sound, it comforts me that they still, in some weird way, care about me; even after I blatantly shut them out. I miss them terribly but I can’t bring myself to talk to them, getting close to them again just in case Drake finds out. I need to keep my distance.

  I haven’t heard a word from Georgina and I haven’t bothered to ask Frankie how she’s doing either.

  When she’s ready she will contact me… well that’s what I’m hoping for.

  She and I have a lot to discuss if we ever want to mend our broken relationship. I will always love her and see her as a mother; even if she isn’t my biological one. Before we can repair broken bridges though, we need to figure out if that bridge can carry the weight of baggage that lies between us, to see if we can let it all go, if it’s even possibility.

  Can it ever become water under the bridge?

  Chapter 3

  The Present Day

  I look ahead of me, seeing the moons reflection shining off the lake through the trees. I roll to my side not caring about the dirt beneath me as I pull my shoes off. I need to cool down and hopefully the lake will do just that. I manage to get onto my two feet. I’m hunched over, leaning against the rough bark on th
e tree, my hand resting on my chest over my heart.

  I’ve never had this reaction to the white magic before, I don’t know what’s happening to me. My entire body is on fire and I’m in so much pain. I’m a few feet away from a clearing that leads to the lake, but I just can’t make myself move any further. I fall to the ground again, lying on my side as the sand sticks to my wet skin.

  Just a little further… I need to get to the water…

  I dig my hands into the dirt and start pulling myself closer and closer towards the glistening water. My vision loses focus and all I can hear is the whistling of the wind through the woods. I cover my ears to stop the white noise, pulling my knees up to my stomach as I lay in a fetal position screaming out for the incessant noise of the wind to stop.

  My back is the first thing to bend into an unnatural angle; the cracking sound echoing inside my ears.

  I cry out in pain, my vision fuzzy. I scream as loud as I can, praying for someone to help me, but the sound of the wind and the forest smothers all my cries.

  “Calm down Angel…you need to survive this,” a female voice whispers. ^I can almost feel her running her hands down my hair soothingly.

  I must be going crazy because even with my blurred vision I can’t see anyone around, but the woman sounds as if she’s speaking right into my ear. I don’t know what’s happening or where she came from.

  “You’re shifting my love and I’m going to help you get through this…” the woman gently says.