“You need to keep those walls up, Angel,” his voice echoes in my mind.
“I don’t know how to do that, Nixon. Or if I’m even doing it right; I still have so much to learn,” I link back with him.
“Just think about something else. Let that take over your whole minds focus, so all they see is the picture your thinking about. It’s hard at first, but after a while it will become second nature to you.”
I think about the waterfall in Point Bright and the sound the water makes as it trickles down the rocks. That was always a place of peace for me, seems fitting that I use that as my barrier.
“There, that’s good.” I realise his arms are still wrapped around me, but I can’t seem to let go.
“I’m going to have a word with Alpha about them if they don’t stop tormenting you.” His chest vibrates against my cheek as he grinds out the words.
I pull away and move my hair out of my face. I make sure to communicate the words to him without saying them out loud; I can’t risk anyone hearing me.
“No, you mustn’t tell my father anything, Nixon! I don’t know how he’ll react when he finds out what they’ve done. I’m scared he’ll banish them from the pack or worse, hurt them. I’ll tell him everything as soon as I’ve figured it out myself. I need to try and handle this on my own.”
My words obviously displease him but he doesn’t argue, just pulls me back into his warmth. “You won’t be on your own, Angel. I’ll be right here if you need anything.”
He rubs my back and I hear a growl in the distance followed by a similar rumble coming from Nixon’s chest. I pull away and look up at him again. His eyes glare off into the distance. Following his line of sight I spot the twins standing near a car. Tyler stands with his arm resting on his open door glaring our way. Talon stares much the same, but instead his eyes are focused on Nixon, the muscles in his neck tense, his jaw stiff and his hands in fists at his side as he tries to control his wolf.
“Their wolves want us. They don’t want to see us in another man’s arms,” Faith says within me, sounding melancholy.
“Well you can tell their wolves that I don’t enjoy seeing other girls in their arms either,” I think back as I slowly disengage myself from Nixon’s arms.
A few seconds into our staring contest I hear two louder growls and the boys eyes shining in the distance; obviously Faith passed along the message.
“I see his hands on you again, I’ll rip them off. I don’t care if we aren’t together, you are still our mate and you better show some fucking respect,” Tyler echoes in my head.
“You two are such fucking hypocrites,” I growl back full of anger. I hope they can feel the burn of the glare I send their way. I turn back to face Nixon.
“Angel, wait… please.” I hear Talon’s despondent voice in my head, but the walls are back up and I’m not letting those two back in.
I look Nixon over and notice his chest heaving, the knuckles on his balled fists are white and his lips curled in an evident snarl. I place my hand on his bicep ignoring the growls from behind me.
“Let’s go inside, Nixon,” I whisper calmly. He whips his head down to where my small hand lies, then looks up at me as his anger slowly dissipates.
I pull him towards his front door and he follows. Once we’re inside Nixon shows me the guest bedroom. I flop down onto the lavender coloured comforter and look up at the ceiling, thinking about Nixon instead of my own issues. From the corner of my eye I see Nixon leaning against the door.
“So your parents told you, huh?” He says.
I turn my head to look at him and nod. “You should have told me. I don’t understand why Jax’s pack was so horrible to you.” I lay in the same position on the bed not having the energy to lift myself into a seated position.
“One day I’ll tell you my story, but right now you don’t need to take on the burden of my past as well. Even though we don’t know each other all that well, from what I’ve seen at Point Bright and here, you allow other peoples issues to torment you. Stop worrying. All you need to focus on right now is the now.” He sighs as he flops down next to me on the bed.
After a few minutes of silence I say softly, “The name Nixon suits you better though. I like it.” I turn my head to look back at him and smile. He smiles back and we both continue to look to the ceiling in comfortable silence, before the sleep that has become so elusive finally takes over.
****
I’m woken up in the morning by Faith’s voice nagging at me to let her run free. I get out of bed and walk through Nixon’s quiet cabin. I can hear him snoring in the room at the end of the hall so I tiptoe my way down the hall with my duffle bag in one hand and shoes in the other. Making my way out of his house I make sure to close his front door without making a noise. The sun is about to rise as I quickly make my way through the foggy woods towards the lake. The nights fog still rests over the lake and the morning air is still crisp and fresh.
I stop at the wooden dock and look out into the lake taking in the beautiful scene. After a few moments I find a bush, making sure that I’m hidden from sight before I start stripping. I’m feeling really hesitant about shifting again.
“Will it hurt like it did the first time?” I ask Faith.
“No honey, you may be a little stiff and it may be a little uncomfortable, but it most certainly won’t be like your first shift,” Faith says in a soft voice. I stand there naked behind the bush and try to even out my breathing to calm myself.
“You can do this sweetie. Just think about your wolf form.”
I do as she says and soon feel the tingling in my bones. I close my eyes as I hear my bones bend and break into position. Once I feel myself on all fours, I let out a deep breath.
“It gets better.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Why does it take so long? When I see others shift it’s quick, you don’t even get a chance to see them naked. By the time their clothes are shredded and have fallen to the ground they’ve already shifted into their wolf.” I walk my way around the bush and into the woods.
“You will be as quick as them too, my lovely. Now let’s go for that run,” she says with excitement.
I spend the next two hours running through the woods feeling free; I can tell Faith loves the freedom as well.
Sauntering back to my bag, I think back to my human self and feel my body shift. When I feel the breeze on my naked human body, I open my eyes to see I’m still alone behind the bush. I stretch my stiff muscles still fully enjoying the cool air against my skin. I don’t relish in the moment too long afraid someone will walk by, so I quickly put a bra and underwear on. I look over the bush to see if anyone has come down to the lake and when the coast is clear, I run toward the water with my duffle bag in tow.
I walk to the end of the dock, dropping my bag.
I look down at the water then look to where the sun is rising; it’s so quiet out here and the water is calling my name.
I don’t waste another minute second guessing myself, I just do it. I jump into the cold water with a squeal and resurface giggling. I float on my back, adjusting to the temperature of the water and look up to the clear blue sky.
Today is a going to be a good day! I smile trying to convince myself.
I lay there for a couple more minutes humming to myself and looking at the beautiful sky, making sure to keep all thoughts of the twins out of my head. I’m gonna take Nixon’s advice and I’m gonna live in the now… well… I’m gonna live in the now until my past catches up to me.
When I turn to swim back to the dock, I scream and manage to choke on a little water.
“What the hell, Tyler! How long have you been watching me?” I yell at him as I make my way to the little ladder near his legs.
“Since you jumped in,” he says flatly, not looking all that happy. I feel his eyes on my body as I pull myself out the water.
The tension between us is thick and awkward.
I walk past him towards my bag, wringing my long h
air out. When I bend down to dig in my bag I hear a loud intake of breath followed by an angry snarl.
“Shit!” I whisper, quickly grabbing my hoodie and putting it on to cover the scars on my back; its long enough to cover my underwear too so I don’t bother wasting time putting shorts on. I pick up my shoes and throw the duffle over one shoulder. I turn and I’m immediately assaulted by Tyler’s delicious scent. He stands right in front of me with a compassionate look on his face. I can feel him trying to break the walls down to get into my head, but I won’t let him.
I shove past him, but he grabs me and pulls me to his chest. I really want to hold him tight and take in his scent. It’s so addictive, but I can’t allow myself to give in.
“I’m sorry, Angel,” he says, his voice low and husky. I didn’t expect that to come out of his mouth.
“Those scars…” He continues and my eyes flicker up to his face. I can feel his hurt and his pain as he tries to find the words. “…they haven’t healed… are… are they from the attack?”
I look away and start thinking about the waterfall back in Point Bright.
He grabs my jaw and forces me to look into his eyes. “Don’t do that! Don’t block me out, Angel. Let me in.”
His eyes. God… those beautiful eyes.
His words make me want to do just that, but I can’t; not now when all I can picture is him sitting on the porch swing cuddling up to Kate. Seeing Kate looking into his eyes, holding his body close to hers, her hands feeling him where my hands now rest against his chest.
I swallow the lump in my throat and look back down.
“Just let me in, tell me what happened!” He yells into my face, looks away and then shakes his head when I don’t respond. He lowers his hands to the base of my neck then to my shoulders, his grip firm. Softening his voice, he speaks with such tenderness and I realise that Tyler… the sweet Tyler I once knew is in there… somewhere.
“You don’t know how much it kills me to know that you were hurt, to see the scars on your beautiful skin. You don’t realise how hard it was for me, and my brother to see you in pain for weeks and not be able to help you. To watch you lock yourself in your room, needing to heal on your own when all we wanted was to be there for you. I know you didn’t need us then, but… we needed you. I have so much hate and anger built up inside of me for whoever did this to you.”
He pulls me closer into his chest. His warm hand reaches behind me, running his fingers gently along to find the thick grooves of the scars. He pulls away from me, but still holds me close infront of him.
“I need to find whoever caused your pain and make them pay for ever laying a hand on you.” I stand quietly staring at his chest in front of me, still reeling from the affect his hands on my bare scars had on me; not daring to look back up into his beautiful eyes.
“Tell me who did it!” His loud voice softens to a pleading whisper. “Please, Angel… tell me.”
I look up at his face knowing I’m going to regret it. Once my eyes meet his blue ones, I know it’s a mistake.
“Tyler,” I say, watching as a small breath leaves his lips compelling me to look down at his lips. Bad move.
I feel drawn to him and to his wolf Gunner. The bond we share, the bond that he has yet to accept has me curling closer into his warmth. I know he feels it too, his right hand moves from my shoulder toward the base of my neck, his thumb moving back and forth.
I feel the accelerated beats of his heart under my hand and can hear every breath he takes clearly. He leans in closer and I know he’s losing the battle against the pull our bonds have on us. The Fates want us to be together and I can feel that Tyler wants it just as much. If only he could open his heart and forgive me for the pain I’ve caused him in the past, giving us a chance to move towards our future. Together.
I move in closer feeling his stubble against my forehead, moving my head slightly to run my nose against his jawline and toward his neck.
I pull my head back and immediately open my eyes. Somethings not right. Tyler’s eyes widen and the connection breaks. He knows what I’ve just found so he grabs onto my shoulders tighter.
It’s someone else’s fruity scent on him. It’s on his neck and the collar of his shirt.
“It’s a she-wolf,” Faith says, sounding withdrawn.
I back away from him, pushing his hands off of me. When he takes a step in my direction I shove past him with a scowl on my face; he tries to stop me. “Angel…”
I pull my arm away from him then push at his chest. “No don’t touch me... Just don’t; not when you have her smell all over you.”
“And it’s okay for you to have his scent all over you!?” He hisses.
I turn around to find him standing in the same spot. I throw my hands up in the air. “Who are you talking about?”
“Nixon. His scent still lingers around you,” he says, straightening himself up crossing his arms over his chest.
“Jesus, Tyler. You know he’s just a friend. Nixon is the only friend I have to talk to right now. What? I’m not allowed to have friends now either? But it’s okay for you and Talon to have girlfriends?” I yell as I begin to feel my jealousy and anger building again.
“Not him your not! There’s other girls your age around town, I’m sure you can find a friend,” he says, sounding chuffed with himself. “At least you now know what it felt like for us everytime you came to visit; all we could smell on you was that mutt from Point Bright.”
I stand there open mouthed.
Will he ever move on from the relationship I had with Drake? Will he continue to bring Drake up everytime we have a fight? Does what I did in the past justify what he’s now putting me through?
So many questions that I don’t seem to have the answers to.
“Does that make it okay then, Tyler?” I ask him seriously, his smirk immediately vanishing. “If that makes it okay then this is going to be a never ending cycle. I hurt you, you get back by hurting me and we continue in that fashion. Is that what you want?” I look him dead in the eye and watch as his shoulders sag as he takes another step towards me.
“No Angel,” he says sheepishly, looking down at his feet. “It’s not what I want at all.”
I nod my head. “I understand why you and your brother are lashing out on me. I get that I caused you pain, so I’m gonna give you both more time to decide whether you want me as your mate; but I don’t think I can continue on with it for much longer. I need to figure out what’s best for me too. I won’t sit around forever basing my life around your decision.”
I don’t give him time to respond, hurrying away back up through the woods and toward the pack house. I don’t hear his footsteps or smell his scent so I know he’s not following.
I open the front door and head for the stairs to my room. I can hear my father on the phone and someone in the kitchen making a noise with the pots and pans. I step into my room and find my bed unmade. Was it like that when I left last night? I don’t think so.
Tyler’s scent still lingers on the linen.
Chapter 5
After making myself breakfast I head back over to Nixon’s cabin, trying to put my little altercation with Tyler out of my mind and thoughts. Although today started a little shakey, I’m determined to make this a good productive day.
Today we’re going to go speak to Noelle. She’s been avoiding me ever since the night she saved my life. Alex can’t even get hold of her and Johnny’s forbidden her to go searching for her.
He hasn’t forbid me though… well he hasn’t yet. So Nixon and I are keeping our little trip to ourselves. He wasn’t too happy with the thought of lying to his new Alpha, but I have great persuasion skills when needs be and I managed to convince him. Alex has been busy helping Johnny with pack business so I’ve hardly had a chance to spend time with them. Tonight is supposed to be my ceremony and they have the preparations to get done. I figure that while they are busy, this morning would be the best time to try and find out if Noelle knows anything about wha
t she did to me; as well as the changes that occured when she healed me.
Thank goodness I don’t run into either of the twins on my way to Nixon’s place.
“You ready, Angel?” I find him leaning against his car.
“Sure am,” I respond even though I’m not quite sure that’s true.
I open my window then lean over and press the button to switch his radio on. He starts the car and slowly drives away from the pack house.
****
We’re driving through an area I’ve never been to before on the other side of town. We turn off and onto a gravel road; just like the one we have near our pack house. We continue to drive down the road and into a thick wooded area.
Nixon stops right outside a huge wooden gate.
Weird symmetrical designs cover the dark wood, whilst little silver trinkets hang off the tops of spikes.
“How do you know she’ll be here?” I turn to look over at him in the driver’s seat and find him sitting completely stiff; his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight they’re trembling.
“Whoa, Nixon.” I place my hand on the forearm closest to me, his now dark eyes immediately finding mine.
“They’re in there. She’s definitely inside,” he says turning his eyes back to the symbols that cover the gate.
“They? Noelle’s inside there?” I jerk my head in the direction of the gate.
“Yes,” his voice trembles with what seems to be rage. For a minute I’m afraid he might lose his cool.
“How do you know she lives here?” I ask him, using my hand to turn his face to look me in the eyes. His eyes pulse from his usual dark blue to dark brown, the veins in his forehead sticking out; I’m completely freaked out.
“I heard a few of the kids at the school talking about the creepy houses in the woods, they were talking about the markings painted on the gates. I knew it was a sign of witches. My father used to tell me tales about witches, about the drawings and spells they would cast to ward off wolves.”
Angel Blackwood Page 5