“Ok, Granny, go straight to the ladies room, don’t touch anything on the counter and don’t step on any of the crime scene evidence left on the floor. Come right back out.” He winked at Granny.
“My bladder will thank you,” Granny said in a loud voice as she limped into the store on her umbrella.
Granny peeked around the shelves to make sure no one was watching her. All the police were outside interviewing possible witnesses. Granny studied the earring still left on the floor. Granny knew Hermione and it didn’t look like an earring Hermione would wear. It was a long, beaded, red and purple dangly earring made out of nails. Hermione had commented once to Granny that she couldn’t wear dangly earrings because she had a short neck.
Hermione and Granny had a little history although Hermione didn’t know it. Granny and Hermione’s dear, long departed mother had been best friends in Granny’s young housewife years and since Hermione’s mother had died, Granny had secretly kept an quiet eye on Hermione, sending money anonymously when she was in need. Once Granny also chased away a boyfriend who Granny knew was trouble. Hermione never did know why that rascal left town and left her high and dry and Granny never was going to reveal her part in his disappearance. Hermione’s mom also had a little hidden mischievousness that Hermione had inherited and since Granny had the same spirit she knew her eagle eyes needed to be trained on Hermione as she was growing up. This was just another of Granny’s secrets.
Granny stood up and glanced toward the back of the store. The good looking young man was standing in the back of the store by the saws and chains, glaring at Granny. How could that be? She was supposed to be the only one in here. Granny looked again and he was gone. She quickly ran to the back of the store and looked everywhere. The door to the back was blocked from the outside by the police. There was no other place he could have gone. Maybe she didn’t see him. She would have to get her eyes checked, or her brain.
Granny walked out of the front door. “Thank you, thank you,” Granny proclaimed in a loud voice. “You saved me.” With that she winked at Big Guy, said in a low voice, “Later.” and walked down the street to her next customer.
As Granny was proceeding to Red Lulu’s Quilt Shop, she felt someone following her. When she turned around, there was the red haired old lady Gram Gramstead. “What are you doing following me?”
“I was trying to catch up with you. I thought we might have tea.”
“Tea? I don’t have tea. That’s for little old ladies.”
“Well, what do you think we are?” Gram answered back.
Granny gave her that look that dismissed Gram Gramstead and proceeded down the street.
Gram finally caught up with Granny again at Red Lulu’s. “We have so much in common. We could be friends. I could help you.”
“Help me do what?” Granny eyed her with a suspicious eye.
“Shop, isn’t that what you do every day? I know what it’s like to be lonely. I’ve been studying you. You are the ultimate shopper. You never buy anything except (Gram looked around to make sure no one was listening) wild lingerie.”
“How do you know that? You’ve been spying on me.”
“Isn’t that young man peering at you from Lulu’s front window good looking? Do you know him? He’s been staring at you all the while we’ve been having this heart to heart chat.”
Granny looked up to see the young man who she just saw in Nail’s looking at her through the window from Lulu’s. Who was he? At least now she knew he wasn’t a figment of her imagination since this Gram Gramstead, stalker woman, saw him too. And how did he get to Lulu’s so fast and why would he be in Lulu’s since it was a quilt shop and men usually avoided anything to do with quilting.
“Gotta go. Oh, and by the way, we weren’t having a heart to heart, I don’t have one,” Granny said to Gram as she pushed past Gram. Granny hurried into the store but the young man was gone. “Lulu, did you see where the young man who was just here disappeared to?”
“I’m sorry, Granny, I didn’t see a young man. I was in the back of the store, but if he left through the front or back doors my ding dong bell would have sounded. Are you sure you saw him in here? Maybe it was just a reflection in the glass of someone standing beside you.”
Granny looked through the front window and Gram Gramstead had disappeared too. There was something so familiar about her. Granny couldn’t put her mind on it.
Granny finished checking Lulu’s for sneaky shoppers, continued her rounds of the stores while pondering all the thefts and disappearances in Fuchsia the past week. This time they stole cat food, dog food and the big screen TV’s that Nail’s had recently started selling. Why would they steal cat food and dog food?
Granny walked home, passing Mrs. Shrill’s house. Baskerville was not out so she couldn’t toss him the steak she had picked up for him at Pickles. As she walked in her door, her phone was ringing.
“Granny, did you leave your car downtown? I noticed you walking home and I thought in all the excitement of my store being broken into that you might have forgotten that you drove to town,” Mr. Nail inquired.
Granny’s eyes grew wide with panic. She quickly replied, “I decided I needed a little exercise so I left it there. Your thoughtfulness is just too…too…I can’t find the words. Yes, thoughtful, that’s it.” Granny thanked him again and with a puzzled look on her face, she walked out to her garage and found it empty. Granny felt something brush her leg. It was Furball. Furball dropped something at her feet. Granny picked it up. It was an earring that matched the earring that Big Guy claimed Hermione had been wearing the night before the heist.
Chapter Ten
Granny sank down to the concrete shaking her head. What was going on? Her car was gone. She was sure she didn’t drive it to town. Animals kept turning up on her doorstep and they kept dropping earrings at her feet, not any earrings, but earrings that had been involved in a crime. Furball took that moment to interrupt her foggy train of thought by pouncing on her head and purring loudly. Granny flipped Furball off of her head, grabbed the edge of the garage door and slowly brought herself to her feet.
Granny hurried over to Mavis’ house. “Mavis, Mavis, I need your help,” Granny yelled as she knocked on Mavis door.
“Granny, I’m in here.”
Granny walked into Mavis’ bedroom to find her hanging upside down in some upside down hanging contraption. “Mavis, who did this to you? Let me get you out of there.”
“Granny, relax, it’s ok. This thing stretches out my back. I have to be limber for my imagination reality TV show,” Mavis explained as she released herself from the contraption.
“I need you to drive me downtown to get my car and don’t ask.” Granny hurried out to Mavis’ garage.
Mavis’ car was a brown, 1973 Valiant Sedan that had seen better days. Normally Granny wouldn’t be seen in such a car unless her kids were around but this was an exception.
Mavis and Granny drove out of the garage; Granny had to stop herself from impatiently tapping her fingers in anxiety as Mavis drove ten mph to town. Granny knew she could have walked faster than this but she was tired. All this hoopla had worn her out.
Mavis dropped Granny off by her Corvette without asking too many questions.
Granny waved Mavis off and climbed into her car. Her stomach was growling. When had she eaten last? Granny decided to stop at Rack’s Restaurant and have a bite to eat before heading home. She drove into Rack’s parking lot, avoiding the weeping tree in case darkness fell before she left the restaurant. She pulled into a parking stall right next to a nifty 1957 black Corvette with red trim.
Granny couldn’t help it. She had to walk around the black Corvette and admire its workmanship. She had to touch the sleek body. If the door had been unlocked she might have even taken the chance to sit in the driver’s seat. Whoever owned that car had class.
Granny took her usual seat in the back of the restaurant next to the window so she could observe everything in and out of the restaurant. M
aizie, her usual waitress, came to take her order.
“The usual Granny? Deep fried onion rings, deep fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy topped off with chocolate fudge ice cream and a chocolate donut on top?”
“You got it. Add a glass of water and a glass of milk. They tell me milk and water keeps a gal healthy, wealthy and wise.” Granny laughed and handed the menu back to Maizie.
Maizie was one in a million. When Granny’s kids brought her here, she pretended Granny always ate healthy. She would ask Granny if she wanted her usual baked fish, steamed vegetables, lettuce salad and yogurt for desert. Yes, she was one in a million.
There didn’t seem too much going on tonight. There were a few people at the bar and the tables were half full. It seemed to be a quiet night in Fuchsia. Granny noticed the table at the far end of the room. She blushed when she made eye contact with the handsome older man who she seemed to keep falling over. He winked at her first this time. Granny winked back and lowered her head and glanced around wondering if anyone noticed.
As Granny took the time to savor her food bite by bite, she tried to remember the last time her heart had beat a little faster for a member of the opposite sex. The most romantic thing Ferdinand had ever said to her was, “You come from good stock, Hermiony.” Granny always wondered if he was talking about the kind of stock as in a stock yard, the stock they have in the grocery store, a corn stalk or the stock they carry in the candy store. Granny always hoped it was the candy store stock.
From time to time, Granny would sneak a glance at the older man. He was probably some old fuddy duddy whose idea of a good time was reading the obituaries in the newspaper. Nope, Granny thought, she liked her life as it was.
After devouring her favorite food, Granny paid the check and headed for the door. She forgot about the step up to get to the steps down that led out of the restaurant. She started to tumble head first down the stairs when strong arms caught her. She looked up into the eyes of the handsome older man. Again, he set her on her feet and winked.
“Since you seem to be falling for me all the time perhaps it’s time we introduced ourselves. I’m Franklin Gatsby. And you are?”
“Granny, just Granny, nice to meet you. If I have to fall for someone, I’m glad I picked you.” Granny realized what she said, blushed, and started out of the restaurant. Franklin followed.
“It’s good to meet you, Granny. I’m new around here and don’t know too many people. Perhaps you could help me get acquainted with the town.”
“Where are you from and why did you pick Fuchsia for your new stomping grounds?” Granny asked, never one to be shy to get details. After all, that was her secret job.
“I moved here from New York. I was a detective with the New York City Police Department. When I retired, I’d always dreamed of moving somewhere quiet where there was beauty and no crime. Fuchsia fit the description.”
Granny didn’t think it was time to bust his bubble about the crime part so she kept on walking to her car. Franklin kept pace with her.
“This is your car?”
“Yes, do you have a problem with that?” Granny asked, ready to defend herself and her choice of car.
Franklin patted the black 1957 Corvette. “This is my car.”
Granny’s teeth would have fallen out of her mouth had she had false teeth, but the best she could do was drop open her mouth and stare.
“You have a Corvette? Aren’t you a little old for a car like that?”
“That’s the cat calling the kettle black,” Frank answered back.
Granny hopped into her car still in shock. She gave a wave and squealed off before she could put her foot in her mouth anymore.
As Granny crawled into bed, she decided she needed to go shopping for some new night clothes. Tomorrow morning she’d drive over to Brilliant, Minnesota, and shop at Red Hot Mama’s Boutique. She couldn’t shop for her nighties in Fuchsia. Small towns were notorious for gossip and word would get around that Granny was trying to relive her youth and her kids would come and cart her away.
Chapter Eleven
Granny had a fun morning shopping at Red Hot Momma’s Boutique. They had just gotten in some fuchsia-colored, slinky nighties, edged with pink and purple fur. Granny thought since she was from Fuchsia she should have a fuchsia nightie with fur. They also had black-sequined shortie pajamas that sparkled in the dark. Granny purchased those too, along with the newest bikini they had that had rhinestones around the edges. Of course Granny didn’t go swimming, but she could put on the bikini, hop into her bath tub, and pretend she was at a beach in Malibu. No one would know.
As Granny drove back into town, she noticed a lot of hubbub on Main Street. She parked in the We Save You Church’s parking lot and walked over to Ella’s Enchanted Forest where the hubbub seemed to be taking place. Delight came running to Granny in tears. Granny looked up to see the word “Ella” hanging by a thread to the building. Ella was Delight’s daughter and she had named the store after her.
“Granny, look,” Delight gestured toward the sign above the door, “Ella is hanging by a thread.”
“It’s ok, Delight; we can hang it back up.”
“No, you don’t understand. Someone came into the Enchanted Forest. No locks are broken, no windows smashed. They took my forest, they took Ella. I know they did. She was here closing last night. I haven’t heard from her since. They took my forest, all the plants, all the trees and look what they left me, a dilapidated fountain of a cat. Who would do that?”
Granny walked closer to the window, peered in and saw the empty forest and then she spied the fountain of the cat. Granny backed away muttering, “It can’t be; it can’t be.”
“Did you say something, Granny?” Delight asked
“No, no, but I have to check on something. You’re in good hands with the Big Guy and the police. I have to go. I have to go.”
At that precise moment, the Big Guy walked over and stood beside Granny. “Any thoughts on this, Granny? Where do you supposed that fountain came from? Who would replace a forest with a fountain? I’m gonna catch these crooks if it’s the last thing I do.”
Granny slowly started backing away. “I’m late, I’m late for a very important skate, um I mean, wait, no date!” Granny quickly turned, dropped the pretense of a limp or walking slowly and sprinted to her car, climbed in and screeched down the street, ignoring the possibility of getting stopped for reckless driving.
Granny almost crashed into her garage in her haste to get to her home. She hopped out of her car, ran into her back yard and stopped short. Her cat statue was gone and in its place were many plants and trees. Granny had a forest in her back yard.
As Granny was trying to get over the shock of the forest, she felt a nip at her ankle. She looked down and along with Fish, the little white poodle and Furball, there was a tank of a dog nipping at her ankle. He had stubby little legs, teeth that didn’t fit in his mouth, jowls that seemed to hang down to his chest and beady brown eyes that were staring at her for her attention.
Before Granny could take it all in, she heard the closing of the back yard gate and someone scurrying up behind her.
“Granny, Granny, here you are. Are you alright?”
Granny turned around and looked straight into the face of Gram Gramstead.
“What are you doing here?” Granny used her gruffest voice.
“I saw you tear out of the parking lot of the We Save You Church and I followed you. I thought something might be wrong.” Gram proceeded to eye Granny up and down.
Granny wrinkled her nose, put out her arms and said “Stop, don’t come any closer. I’m contagious. I’m breaking out with chicken pox.”
Gram looked at her suspiciously. “I don’t see any chicken pox.”
“It’s on my stomach.” Granny started lifting her shirt. “I didn’t realize I was breaking out until I was talking to Delight. Caught it from my Grandkids. Be careful; I’ll infect you.” She advanced on Gram.
Gram backed up
slowly and then turned and literally ran out of the back yard, the fence door slamming loudly behind her.
Granny heaved a sigh of relief and sank down onto the garden bench. She looked at the four creatures sitting in front of her and then lifted her eyes to gaze at the forest that had appeared in her back yard.
How had this happened and why? First, the earrings appeared at her feet and now the forest. Granny knew she was forgetful and foggy but she didn’t think she could pull off hiding a forest and transplanting it in her back yard.
Granny lifted her cell phone to dial 911 and then stopped. Would they believe her? She had access to the stores, she had held the earrings, she knew the people who disappeared, and some clues to the disappearance of the jewelry, the appliances, and especially the forest were here in her house. Maybe they’d think she did it. Her kids would be called. Maybe she should turn herself in and plead the fifth.
Actually she thought that possibly she didn’t need to plead the fifth. She could say she didn’t remember because she didn’t. Maybe they’d then take pity on her and send her to the wrinkle factory instead of the hoosegow. Granny got up and paced the patio. What to do? What to do? As she was pacing, Furball jumped on her head, Tank––as she dubbed the strange dog––nipped at her heels, and Fish and the little white poodle seemed to be pacing with her.
Granny stopped pacing, pulled her little 100 lb, 5 foot frame as tall as she could and said to herself, “What is wrong with this picture? Granny giving up? Never!” Granny slammed her cell phone closed and marched out of the back yard, closing the fence gate behind her. She marched straight across the street to Mavis’ house. Mavis was sunbathing on her roof. Granny found the ladder and climbed up onto the roof to talk to Mavis. Unlike Granny saving her bikini moments for her bathtub, Mavis didn’t have any qualms about sunbathing on her roof in her itsy bitsy, teeny weenie, pink, polka dot bikini.
“Mavis, did you notice anyone coming and going at my house today?”
Julie Seedorf - Fuschia Minnesota 01 - Granny Hooks A Crook Page 5