Beneath Your Beauty

by Alexa Keith

  A sense of humiliation came first.

  I felt as though I needed everyone’s approval for me to be in Steele’s life. What sat in front of me were reporters downgrading who I was. Not only was humiliation playing on me, but also pure anger. These people didn’t know me and who I was. Furthermore, I was furious with Steele. He had to have known about the pictures and articles.

  “I said,” I pronounced again loudly, “I can explain.” I twisted to face my boys and said firmly, “Sit.”

  Jeff moved first as I’d expected him to. He was always the more timid and courteous one. If someone asked him to jump, he would want to know how high. Dalton, on the other hand, always spoke his mind. In addition, he’d usually do it before he had a chance to think about the situation. If someone asked him to jump, he would want to know why. My boys were opposite in everything they did.

  They were my night and day, and I was always their dawn.

  Dalton pounded his steps all the way to the chair across from me, and he sat down with a gruffly vocal huff. My mom handed Steele a drink, and he thanked her. She placed a glass in front of Aunt Sally, who had returned to her seat at the head of the table. Mom moved around and sat at the other end.

  “What about the boys, they don’t get a drink?” Aunt Sally asked my mom.

  “They’re not old enough,” my mom specified.

  Aunt Sally rose from her chair and went to the counter. “Oh, for Christ’s sake…” She turned to the boys as she poured two more glasses and asked, “Can you boys wipe your own ass?”

  “Uh…yeah,” Jeff answered cautiously, as if he were being tested.

  Dalton replied with irritation lacing his voice, “Every damn time.”

  “Then, y’all are old enough in this house,” Aunt Sally claimed, setting a tumbler of amber fluid in front of each of them.

  Aunt Sally took her seat, downed half her glass, and turned to me. “Okay, sweetie, the floor is all yours.”

  One of the many things I loved about Aunt Sally was her ability to remain calm in every situation that was thrown her way. Not in my twenty-nine years of being on this earth had I ever witnessed Aunt Sally sweat. She was always cool as a cucumber with a glass of Jim Beam in her hand.

  Maybe I should pick up—oh, I don’t know—a few hundred cases when I get home.

  “Three weeks ago…” I looked around the table to see all eyes were watching me, except for Steele’s.

  He was focused on his folded hands that lay on the table.

  I continued, “Two men came knocking on my door, looking for Mary. They were, I guess, what you would call runners…for a drug dealer.”

  My mom gasped as Aunt Sally whispered, “Shit.”

  I went on with my eyes on the table, “Mary owed him ten grand. He looked for her for eight years, and his search brought him to me.”

  “Eight years, this bastard looked for her?” Aunt Sally questioned in disbelief. “All over ten grand?”

  I looked to her, nodded, and carried on, “I maxed out my credit cards, which wasn’t much, and I sold what I could in the jewelry I had, but I was four thousand short.”

  My mom chimed in, “Why didn’t you—”

  I spoke over her, knowing what she was going to say, “Because I didn’t want to. I took it upon myself to right, what I hoped, was the last of Mary’s burden’s.”

  “Oh, honey,” Aunt Sally said gently, touching my hand.

  Dalton asked loudly, “And where does this fucker come in to all of this?” He gestured to Steele with his empty glass.

  Steele leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “You gonna let your mom finish? Or are you gonna keep pointing blame the whole fuckin’ time?”

  Dalton slammed his glass on the table and bit out, “I don’t know who the fuck you are, but I’ve had enough of you.”

  He rose, Steele stood, and so did Jeff. The furious tension in the air rocketed up three notches. Dalton glared at Steele, Steele stared right back as if urging him on, and Jeff eyed the both of them.

  That was when a rumbling deep voice came from the direction of the doorway, “Guess, I made it just in time before the good shit went down.”

  All our heads jerked toward the voice to see Bull’s large muscular frame taking up most of the archway.

  Aunt Sally rose, and Mom’s eyes went down as she began smoothing the front of her dress. I watched her unsteady fingers pat at the green material. All along, I prayed like hell that she would hold up after I told her everything.

  “Welcome,” Aunt Sally said chirpily, as if we were all just sitting around and sipping hot cocoa while sharing stories of the wonderful lives we had.

  Bull’s long legs took him swiftly to me where he bent and kissed my cheek. “Hey, baby girl, how are ya doing?”

  I looked up at him as he straightened. “Telling everyone the truth.”

  “Ah…” He viewed the table, eyeing the pictures. “I see.”

  “Now, who the fuck is this?” Dalton exclaimed.

  I slapped a hand on the table, catching everyone’s attention. “Please,” I said firmly, “stop cursing.”

  Bull rotated to Steele and put his hand out. “Bull,” he rumbled.

  Steele shook his hand and proceeded in answer, “Steele.”

  I hadn’t worried much about their meeting because Steele was aware of Bull taking care of me and said he was grateful for that.

  “Bull,” I said, pointing, “That’s my mom, Lisa.”

  Bull took a few steps and bent to take my mom’s hand. He laid a soft kiss to the back where he muttered, “Ma’am.”

  We all watched in bewilderment as my mom’s cheeks took on a pale pink blush.

  She coyly responded, “Lisa Brewer,” which came out slightly breathy.

  I quickly continued the introductions. I did not want to even consider processing what I’d just witnessed, but I knew I would at a much later date—like, in forty years from now.

  “These are my boys, Jeff and Dalton.”

  Jeff shook Bull’s hand, and Bull turned toward Dalton.

  “Dalton, this is Bull, a friend of mine.” I felt the need to point it out before Dalton had a coronary.

  “Sup?” He shook Bull’s hand and then plopped back down in his seat.

  Bull turned and faced Aunt Sally at the counter. “Sally, I presume?”

  “You betcha, big guy.” She replied, moved over to Bull, and surrounded him in a massive hug.

  With her small body, her fingers came to his shoulder blades, and his large frame swallowed her. I knew she was enjoying it because Bull gave great warm hugs.

  She released, picked up the bottle, and asked, “Jim?”

  “Absolutely,” Bull replied, taking a seat on the stool at the counter.

  Once Aunt Sally handed Bull his drink, she came back to the table. She looked to me, nodded her head once, and told me, “Continue.”

  “You gonna say this shit in front of him?” Dalton pointed a finger over his shoulder in the direction of Bull. All the while, he kept his blue-eyed glare on me.

  “Yes, he knows everything and stop cursing,” I scolded. “As a matter of fact, Bull works for Marco, the drug dealer I was telling you about.”

  Mom, Aunt Sally, Jeff, and Dalton all turned to observe Bull. He shrugged and took a sip of his whiskey.

  Steele took this period to lay his hand on mine as he leaned in, “Princess…”

  I put my hand up. “You had to know about the pictures,” I said with a hostile air.

  “I didn’t Kay,” he whispered.

  The look of hurt on his face made my heart constrict. “We’ll talk later,” I expressed softly.

  Here we were, no more than two hours after he’d cried and declared how profoundly he loved me, and I was already mad at him. My gorgeous strong, confident man had admitted how deep his feelings ran for me and sobbed with the overpowering effect it had on him. It was the most passionate moment of my life. The play of emotions in his eyes, expressing that I was all he needed
and wanted, was utter bliss. There was no other way to describe it. At that moment, I’d thought I couldn’t ever be angry with him.

  But I was.

  When all eyes turned back to me, I continued, “Being that I was four thousand dollars short, I started looking in the paper. I thought I could get some temporary work to make up for the rest. I came across an ad for a studio called Ecstasy Pictures, looking for models and offering good pay. What I thought to be a photography business was not. It was an adult movie production company.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as my mom downed the rest of her whiskey. I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t face the disappointment held in her eyes. It would kill me. Just having to tell the story with her in the room was eating away at me like a rancid disease. In addition, if I even risked a glance at the boys, I would not be able to finish, and they had a right to know the truth too.

  Bull snatched the bottle off the counter, went to my mom, and poured a few spills into her glass. She thanked him in a small voice, and he went back to his stool.

  Once he was seated, I proceeded, “I called, and they told me what they were looking for. So, I agreed to look over the contract, and before I even knew what I was doing, my signature was scrawled on the bottom of the page, and I was faxing it back.”

  I took this time to look over at my mom. “I’m sorry,” I apologized to her. I began to defend myself, “I had no other choice.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Kayden,” she said authoritatively. “You did have choices. You just chose the wrong one.”

  My stomach tightened, and bile rose to the back of my throat. Instant tears formed behind my eyes. I took a broken deep breath, opened my mouth, and shut it. I didn’t know where to go from here. I was at a loss for words. I concentrated on my twisting hands in my lap. Just the thought of looking up at my boys was enough to make me vomit.

  “I was her co-star,” Steele said, breaking the silence. “When I first laid eyes on Kayden, this protective instinct came over me, so I went to the assistant director and told her I wanted to shoot the scene with Kayden, and only her. If they didn’t pair us up, I would walk off the set.”

  I looked up at Steele, and we locked eyes. I hadn’t known this, and if all this wasn’t going on right now, I would have kissed him.

  “Without going into detail, we did the scene together”—he kept his eyes on me—“as respectful as we could get in the industry.” Then, he faced everyone. “She left her phone in the dressing room, and a text came in. I saw that she was going to meet someone the next morning at nine. So, I found the place and stayed in the hotel across the street. That night, I went to the address in the text. It was this restaurant called Forenzo’s. Marco’s daughter tried hitting on me, and I turned her down, saying I had a girlfriend. The next thing I knew, a short Italian man was questioning me about why I didn’t like his Angie.”

  A snorted chuckle came from Bull, and we all regarded him.

  He held up his hands. “Sorry. It’s just that I know Angie. She’s a pain in the ass, and Marco’s been trying to marry her off for years.”

  Ignoring Bull, I turned to Steele. “How come you never told me this? Wait, is this why Marco acted like he knew you?”

  “Yes,” Steele answered. “When I left that night, I was more confused than ever. I had to find out what was going on with Kayden. I showed up the next morning when she was there to pay Marco. Things got a little heated, and now, I have to pay him a hundred grand.”

  “We have to pay Marco,” I stated.

  My mom stood, putting her hands on the table and leaning in. “Please tell me that’s it?”

  Steele answered, “No, but that’s for another time.”

  Jeff finally spoke up, “Might as well give it to us all at once. This is already fucked beyond belief. What more can shock us?”

  “No fucking kidding,” Dalton said in an unforgiving tone. “I don’t believe this shit.”

  “Oh, Lordy,” Aunt Sally voiced, rising and making her way toward the counter. She snatched the bottle and began pouring whiskey into everyone’s glasses.

  My mom sat back down with a sigh and held her glass up. Aunt Sally poured her a shot. Mom downed it and held her glass back up. Aunt Sally smiled as she poured Mom half a glass. Aunt Sally clinked the bottle with Mom’s glass and then took a swig from the bottle.

  Once Aunt Sally was back in her chair, we all sat in silence for a minute.

  “Let’s go,” my mom said, determined.

  I watched Steele because I didn’t know where he was going with this. I didn’t know what else there was to say. He looked at me with apologetic eyes and then to everyone individually. He stopped at the boys, eyeing them back and forth, and I knew what was coming next.

  “Steele, no,” I pleaded, putting a hand on his arm. He didn’t look at me.

  He just took a deep breath and eyed my boys as he blurted out, “Seventeen years ago…I slept with your real mom.”

  Steele

  I stood just in time as Dalton came flying over the table, causing the glasses and bottle to crash onto the floor. Screeches and yells came from the three women while they jumped from their seats. I pushed Kayden to the side before I grabbed Dalton under his arms and hauled him the rest of the way over the table. His feet hit the ground, and I spun him. Shoving his huffing and puffing body up against the wall, I put my hands to his chest.

  “Pull it the fuck in!” I roared in his face.

  He started to squirm underneath my hold while screaming, “I’ll fucking kill you.”

  “You won’t do shit,” I shot back at the little fucker.

  “Oh my God,” Lisa said in horror.

  I wasn’t sure if it was because her grandson was raging or because I’d just told her that I also slept with her now dead daughter too.

  “I can’t—” Kayden started.

  “I-I’m gonna throw up,” Jeff broke in, pacing the kitchen.

  Sally, with bottle in hand, went to Jeff. “Take a good swig,” she offered.

  He did.

  Bull rumbled, “Fuck.” Then, he headed for Lisa.

  He moved her around the broken glass lying on the floor. Bringing her into the kitchen, he placed her against the counter and wrapped his arms around her.

  Struggling against my hold, Dalton yelled in my face, “Let me the fuck go!”

  I got nose-to-nose with him. His heaving breath heated my face.

  I bit out, “You gonna cut your shit?”

  “Yeah,” he replied vulgarly.

  I let him go, and he came back at me.

  Catching his arm in the air, I pressed him back into the wall and shouted, “Reel it the fuck in! Your mom, grandmother, and aunt are all here. Reel it in!”

  “Dalton,” Kayden bellowed, “stop it.”

  Dalton took a deep breath, and I slowly took my hands off his shoulders. He shoved past me and went to Jeff. Ripping the bottle out of Jeff’s hand, Dalton positioned the bottle to his lips. His wild eyes penetrated into mine as he took a gulp. I watched him, piercing my eyes right back. We were locked in a stare down.

  “I can’t deal,” Kayden said in a broken voice.

  With my gaze still locked on Dalton’s, fury coursed through my body at the sound of hurt lacing Kayden’s voice. Apparently, my look became intimidating enough for him to transfer his eyes over to the floor. I moved over to Kayden and took her in my arms. Her trembling body shook my insides. I knew this was her family, and she loved them, but I needed to protect her.

  Enough is fuckin’ enough…

  So, I took matters into my own hands. “Now, we’re all gonna sit the fuck back down and talk like goddamn adults,” I told everyone forcefully.

  “And why should we do what the fuck you want?” Dalton’s smart-ass remarked.

  Kayden hid her face in my chest where she muttered, “Please, God, help us.”

  I sure as fuck wasn’t God, but I was going to try to answer her prayer.

  “Because I’m g
oing to be around a long fuckin’ time, and you need to get used to that. I’m in love with your mom, and I don’t plan on leaving—ever,” I stated assertively. “So, you need to deal with it now. Got me?”

  Jeff put his hand on Dalton’s shoulder and simply said, “Come on, man, we owe it to both of them.”

  “I don’t owe him shit,” Dalton spit back.

  Jeff’s voice was forgiving when he said, “Mom.”

  Dalton considered Jeff, and then he brought his blazing eyes back to me. He took in his mom, her arms tightly wrapped around my waist and her face buried in my chest. His eyes were on my hands gently stroking her back.

  Then, Dalton quietly replied, “Okay.”

  “Okay,” Sally said loudly, clapping her hands. She carried on, “More Jim then.” At that juncture, she disappeared out of the kitchen.

  Lisa leaned out of Bull’s arms. “Okay…okay.” She took a deep breath. “Let’s do this. If Sal pushes any more of her Jim on me, I’m not gonna remember this shit in the morning.”

  Kayden let out a muffled chuckle, which was music to my ears. Then, Bull rumbled a laugh, and the boys snickered, too.

  The thick tension dissipated some as we all sat back down.

  Sally came back and placed two bottles in the center of the table. She went to the cupboard and pulled something out. When she came back, she positioned plastic cups next to the bottles.

  “Just in case,” she said softly to no one in particular.

  Jeff was the first to laugh, and it wasn’t long before we all did.

  I told them everything. I had nothing to hide, and I didn’t want to. I’d been hiding my true self balls deep in women for years, and I didn’t want that anymore. If someone had told me a month ago that I would fall head over heels for a woman and then air out all my shit, I would have laughed, straight-out fuckin’ cackled, and then I would have gone on to fuck some no-name girl. But, here sat the woman I had fallen in love with, and I was telling her family what had happened eighteen years ago, including the story about the locket.

  I had nothing to hide.

  The instant I had seen her timid person in the lobby that day, I’d felt a connection. At the time, I’d thought it was my cock speaking to me because that was what I was used to listening to. My heart had never had anything to say, but that day, it had. It might have taken some time, and we’d had a few rough patches. Nevertheless, I was here, and no one, not anyone, was going to push me away. By outing myself to her family, I knew that I would have consequences to pay. And I’d pay. Whether it was in punches to the gut, hurt feelings, or maybe even a broken heart, I’d pay. But no fuckin’ way in hell, would I let her walk away.