Forbidden Fruit: An Unlikely Love Story

by Michelle Fondin

  I have been candid and upfront about all of the dangers of our relationship. It has had to be a condition that no one but you share in this relationship with me which is a most difficult and unhealthy condition for a loving relationship. I believe that when a love relationship is truthful and fulfilling between two people, it cannot help reflecting from their being to all who surround them. Not to share this joy is impossible!

  All signs in my eyes point to one thing. I cannot continue a relationship of this type with you. I’m not ready to risk what I stand to lose to continue on this course. It has brought you to separation from and deceit of your family and friends. If you wish to be “almost silent” friends until you graduate, when there will cease to be a threat to me and when the relationship will be a sharing of joy with family and friends for both of us, this is what I desire. If you do not wish to maintain an “almost silent” friendship with me until then, I understand and release you completely. Either way, know always my truest love for you!

  That is the way it ended, unsigned. Marissa couldn’t believe what she was reading. He was breaking up with her. She reread the letter again and again. Each time she read it, she became angrier with him. In her mind, she could see nothing more than the fact that he waited until they had made love to break up with her. She refused believe it. In fact she couldn’t process any more of the letter’s content except for that part. He was breaking up with her.

  She shook her head in disbelief as she held the paper in between her hands. It didn’t make sense. Nick had been acting completely normal, completely loving with her. There were no signs of pulling away, no signs of dissatisfaction. It seemed so sudden. He didn’t say he felt they weren’t made for each other; he said he wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate. Ready or not, she thought, we’ve met each other. He can’t deny that.

  What made her even angrier was that he had made the decision to end their relationship by writing her a letter. And he hadn’t even had the nerve to give it to her in person. She was so confused by the whole thing that she forgot to cry. The feeling she had inside was worse than any she had ever felt in her life but she still refused to believe it was over.

  And before she knew it, she was headed toward the art gallery. She was a woman on a mission and she wasn’t going to let go until she got to the bottom of what was happening.

  It was still early. She knew Nick wouldn’t be there when she arrived. His shift started at three o’clock. It was ten minutes to three but Nick never arrived anywhere on time. She nervously tapped her fingers on the dashboard as she waited. She wasn’t quite sure what she would say to him. Certainly she had plenty to say but where she would start was unknown.

  Suddenly she spotted the navy blue pick-up truck out of the rear view mirror. Her heart beat faster. She exited her car as quickly as she could so she could catch him before he went in the gallery. Then leaning back in, she grabbed the letter, which she clutched in her fist.

  “Nick!” she called out.

  He turned abruptly from his truck in the direction of her voice. His sandy blond hair danced in the wind just as it did the day she had taken the pictures of the new teachers.

  Marissa started to cry. “Nick!” she called again holding up the letter.

  He stood, motionless, and allowed her to come to him.

  “Why Nick?” she cried waving the letter about. “Why now? Why this?”

  “I thought it was time,” he answered calmly.

  With the opposite hand, she brushed her long hair out of her face. “I don’t buy it Nick. It doesn’t make sense. You owe me an explanation.”

  Nick remained still, almost statue like, “I believe I did explain, in four very long pages. Did you read it?”

  His air of calm irritated her. It didn’t seem normal. “Of course I read it, Nick, four times. I got it: you’re breaking up with me. It’s the ‘why’ I’m having trouble with.”

  “Marissa, I’ve got to get in to work now,” Nick said without emotion.

  “Oh no you don’t Nick. I’m not leaving until you give me an explanation, from you. Not from a letter. You owe me that!” Marissa screamed as tears continued to pour down her face.

  Nick closed his eyes and breathed out heavily. “Just a minute. I’ll be right back,” he said as he opened the gallery door and went inside.

  Marissa sat down on the curb trembling with anger, fear and frustration.

  With his hands shoved in his pockets, Nick came out and said, “We’ve got an hour. Let’s go into the truck.”

  Relieved but still extremely anxious, Marissa followed him over to the truck she had come to know so well. She climbed into the passenger seat and remembered the time he had given her a foot massage in that very seat.

  Nick climbed into the driver’s seat and looked at her, “What do you want to know?”

  Marissa’s eyes grew bigger, “Like everything. Why the letter Nick? Why couldn’t you tell me in person.”

  “Because of this,” he said indicating the both of them sitting there. “I knew it would be too emotional.”

  “But what caused it? It makes no sense. This weekend we were fine. There was no mention of anything different. What happened?”

  Nick’s blue eyes glazed over a bit before he responded, “Nothing happened. I’ve just been thinking.”

  “Thinking Nick? You’ve been thinking? So you just decided that after we make love, you would like to break up with me. Is that what you were thinking?” Marissa asked angrily.

  Hurt covered his face. “I knew you might think that. So that is why I wrote…”

  “I don’t care what you wrote Nick. I want to know how you feel. Do you feel anything huh? Because your cold demeanor sure doesn’t show it. Has this all been a game to you?”

  “How could you say that? You know how I feel about you,” he defended, tears welling up in his eyes.

  Marissa’s hands covered her face as she sobbed, “Then why Nick? Why would you do this now?”

  Inside of him, something snapped. He took Marissa in his arms and cried, “Because I had to.”

  She looked up into his eyes and said, “Why?”

  Nick held her tightly and whispered, “Your mom.”

  “What?” she asked sitting up straight and attentive.

  “Your mom called me,” he explained.

  Her forehead wrinkled as she muttered, “What? How did she? What in the world?” Inside, she was having déjà vu. She went back to the time in the car during the summer and Daniel was telling her that her mom had called him. Her head began to spin. “What are you telling me Nick?”

  “About two weeks ago, you came to see me, on a Monday after school. It was just after our night together.”

  Marissa nodded her head as she remembered that day. “Yes, we made sushi together.”

  “Apparently, your mother was waiting in the school parking lot and she followed you to my house. She saw where you went, took down the address and did some research,” Nick narrated calmly.

  Her stomach churned. “So how did she make the connections? Your roommate owns the house, not you.”

  “I’m not sure. But she may have talked to my roommate, pretending she was someone else. She seems pretty resourceful.”

  “Evil, is more like it,” Marissa said disgusted.

  “Anyway, she called me a couple of nights ago and told me that she knew who I was and that I was dating her daughter. She told me that I was robbing you of your childhood. She called me a few choice words. She accused me of being the anti-Christ. She also assured me that if I didn’t stop seeing her daughter, she would notify everyone in the school and see to it that the press knew what was going on.”

  Marissa clapped her hands to her mouth, “Oh, Nick that is so awful. I’m so sorry you had to endure that.”

  “Mariss, I hate to say this, but your mom scares me. She’s a little crazy.”

  “She is a lot crazy. I can’t believe she did this again.”

  “Again?”

  “Last summe
r, before Daniel came out to visit, she called him and did basically the same thing she did to you. Except, she obviously had no grounds to tell him to break up with me. But her threats and insults did help put him over the edge. Oh my God, she is so evil!” She pounded her fists on the dashboard in frustration. Then she turned to him, “Oh Nick, my Nick, you don’t know how sorry I am.” She stroked his face. “You are not the anti-Christ, you are my savior. You have taught me so much about life and love. You have taught me to appreciate life and not to judge or live life recklessly. You’ve taught me to honor my body and to treat it with kindness. You’ve taught me to be open to new things and new ways of thinking. If the kind of love my mother gives is the kind one is supposed to live by, I don’t want it. You, my Nick, are the model of true love.”

  Still holding her, Nick stared straight ahead. His jaw tightened. “But she’s right about one thing.”

  “What could she be right about?” Marissa snickered.

  “The part about me robbing your youth,” he said as he stared at the sky.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Think about it Mariss, have you been with your friends at all this year? Have you gone to any school dances? Have you been to games or parties? No, you’ve spent all of your free time with me.”

  “But that was my choice Nick. I choose to spend my time with you. All of that other stuff is meaningless to me.”

  “I don’t know if you can say that honestly. But I’ve lived all of that myself. So why should I selfishly take that away from you?” he pondered out loud.

  “Nick, you’re forgetting one important point. I had the free will to choose. You didn’t influence me one way or another. I knew what I was getting into when I chose to seek a relationship with an older man. What did I really miss this year? Getting drunk? Going out with a bunch of guys that didn’t mean anything to me? Acting like a teenager? I’ve done all of that. It was time for me to move on anyway.”

  “I can’t help but feeling partly responsible,” Nick stated firmly. “Every moment we’ve spent together has been so magical, that most of the time, I didn’t see the bigger picture in your life and what you had to give up to be with me.”

  Marissa took both of his hands in hers and squeezed them tightly, “It’s been magical for me too and that is why it doesn’t matter what I gave up. If only we could explain, somehow, to our loved ones how special our connection is, maybe they would understand why we took such risks to be together.”

  Nick vigorously shook his head. “They wouldn’t understand. Please Marissa, don’t tell anyone.”

  “But I have to confront my mother about what she did to you.”

  “Please, especially not your mother! She said she would blow the whistle on us if I even mentioned to you that she called me. You can’t tell her that you know. She wanted you to think I broke up with you on my own,” Nick insisted.

  Marissa started to cry again. “How can she control us like that and get away with it?”

  “She’s your mother and she has more information than we wanted her to have. But you can’t tell anyone, not even Pamela. After graduation, you can say what you want. But until then, you mustn’t say a word. If she followed you to my house and used it against us, who knows what she’s capable of doing.”

  Marissa thought back to all of the times her mother stopped at nothing to control her life. This time would be no different. “You’re right.” Her heart sank. “So this is it until May?”

  “I don’t see any other way, Mariss. We can write to each other and we can meet in our dreams.”

  “In our dreams Nick?” she wept. “I don’t want you in my dreams. I want you for real. I want you near me.” She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. “I want to touch you.” Her fingers glided their way down to his neck. “I want to feel you.” She drew her face in and kissed his lips. “I want to be with you.”

  Nick kissed her back passionately. “I want to be with you too. And that’s why I’m willing to wait until the time is right.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  When one feels as if someone else is pulling the strings, it tends to have a numbing effect on daily life. That is the way Marissa felt going forward from that day. She hated the fact that her mother controlled her life. It created anger and animosity. At a time in her life when she was supposed to feel the reins lift up and loosen, she felt them tighter and tighter until she thought they might actually strangle her. What surprised her most was that even after Barbara had kicked her out of the house, she had still managed to manipulate her life.

  And the fact that she had to pretend, in her mother’s presence, that she knew nothing about the conversation between Barbara and Nick made her feel ten times worse. When in truth, all she wanted to do was tell her mother off in the worst way. This suppressed anger made her extremely moody whenever she had to spend time with Barbara.

  Sadness shrouded them both, yet in different ways. Marissa became quiet, pensive as if she was regrouping to try a whole new game plan. Nick immersed himself in his work whole-heartedly, keeping himself so busy that he didn’t have time to think. Yet, little by little their individual sadness seeped out and the people closest to them began to wonder what had happened to make them so solemn.

  Nick spent the next Sunday, which happened to be Valentine’s Day, with his parents. He had said nothing of his breakup with Marissa but asked if he could go with them to church and take them out to brunch afterward. Jim and Martha Smith were used to their son being different yet he was always social. But that Sunday, they found him particularly quiet and withdrawn and that worried them.

  In the middle of brunch, Martha was the first to inquire, “So how is Samira?” she asked casually as she took a bite of omelet.

  Nick decided to evade the question as much as possible, “She’s fine.”

  The answer did not satisfy his mother, so she continued, “Do you have plans with her this evening?”

  “No,” Nick answered shortly then picked up a glass of orange juice and gulped it down.

  Martha’s eyebrows perked up, “Why not?”

  Now he was in real trouble. Any answer he gave to that question would lead to more questions. But he tried anyway, “Well, I suppose she may have other plans.”

  Upon hearing those words, Martha dropped her napkin, “You two broke up?”

  Jim Smith, who had only been half listening to the conversation, became interested at once.

  Nick scratched his head. “I guess you could say that.”

  His mother looked intensely at her son, “But you two were so happy together, what happened?”

  “It’s complicated mom.”

  “You’ve been looking so unhappy. Did she break up with you?”

  He hesitated for a minute, “Uh, no.”

  Martha leaned forward in her seat, “Well, I don’t get it.”

  Nick observed both of his parents. He was tired of lying to them. Even if they thought he was crazy, he knew they loved him no matter what. “Mom, Dad, I haven’t been exactly straightforward with you about Samira. Actually her name is Marissa and she’s a student at St. Mary’s.”

  And at those words Jim and Martha Smith sat in stunned silence while their son explained the entire situation from the beginning until at last they understood.

  *****

  “Will you stop moping around and talk to me?” Pamela screamed while they were getting breakfast in the kitchen.

  Marissa stared blankly at her sister. “I can’t.”

  “It’s Nick, isn’t it?”

  “Maybe.”

  Pamela huffed loudly, “I know it is Marissa. Just tell me what happened O.K.? I can handle it. I’m not going to say anything.”

  “I really want to. But I promised I wouldn’t,” Marissa whined.

  “Promised who? Nick?” Pamela said sarcastically. “But he ditched you didn’t he? I know he did, just tell me.”

  “It’s not that easy. And he didn’t really ditch me.”


  Pamela rolled her eyes. She was growing more frustrated by the minute. It pained her to see her sister like that. She was normally cheerful and bright. “Well, I’m taking you out tonight whether you like it or not. We’ll go to a movie.”

  “Pam,” Marissa grumped, “I really don’t feel like…”

  “Nope. Not another word. I’m taking you out if I have to drag you by the hair.”

  Marissa smiled weakly, “You’re the best Pam. I owe you one.”

  Before they left, Marissa wrote Nick a letter, which she dropped in the mailbox on the way to the movie theatre.

  My Dearest Nick,

  Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s been one week since we had our conversation and since I read your letter. It’s been the hardest week I’ve had to endure in a long time. You are so close to me, yet so far. Seeing you in the hallways at school makes it worse, not better.

  But the hardest part for me has been not being able to tell anyone about what happened. I feel so isolated and alone. Pamela has been great though. She has seen how sad I’ve been and has asked me why. I haven’t said anything, like you asked me to. But she figures it has something to do with you.

  In your letter, you stated that you are not ready to find the one woman in your life because you haven’t finished your alone, growing time. But what if you’ve met her already? I sincerely hope that I’m that woman. I feel that you are the one for me. I’ve never felt so close to anyone in my life. So what do you do if you have met your soulmate but you’re not ready to meet her? Do you let her go until a later time? When is the right time?

  I’ve been trying to live in the present like you have taught me. But it is very difficult when the present situation brings you pain. I prefer to think about graduation time, a time when I will be free and when we can be together. I’m trying to remember my dreams every night. Have I been meeting you in your dreams?