“Well, he sort of suggested that I go back to Germany with him, on June first so I won’t have to travel alone. And from there I would travel with his sister who is my age. I mean, I know it sounds crazy and all but I kind of want to go,” Marissa explained.
Her father frowned. “First of all, do you even know this person and his family? Second of all, you would put off college for a year? Who’s to say you would even want to go to college when you get back?”
“Dad, I know Marcus pretty well. He’s getting his PhD in psychology. Besides he’s moving heaven and earth to see that I get this European experience. To me, that tells me he’s a pretty nice guy. And as for college, I really, really want to go to college. So there is no way I would decide against it for next year.”
“How long would you go for?”
Marissa bit nervously on her nail and said quietly. “For a year.”
“A year!” her father said astounded. “That’s a long time to travel Marissa. How are you going to pay for all of that?”
“Well, I’ve been saving up all the money I’ve been making and Marcus said that it doesn’t cost that much to travel in Europe if you get a Eurorail pass and stay in youth hostels. He said that tons of students are traveling on a tight budget but they manage. Plus, I could always come home if I run out of money,” Marissa reasoned.
“How much do you have saved up?” her father inquired.
“Almost $2500.”
“And how much is the airline ticket?”
“Well that’s the best part, see? Marcus just reserved a round trip ticket for me for $450,” Marissa said excitedly.
Her father nodded. “That’s a good price.”
“Yeah, and for the first few of weeks, I would be staying with Marcus’ family so it wouldn’t cost me anything, except maybe food. Plus I’d be traveling with someone else. So it would be safe,” explained Marissa as she tried to sell her plan all the while trying to convince herself that it was a good idea.
“Does your mother know about this?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m not telling her until I’ve decided. She wouldn’t help me anyway. She’s convinced I should go to State. Do you think she’d really agree to me going to Europe?”
Once again her father nodded. “I see your point. Well honey, if you’re sure that this is what you want to do, I will match your contribution for the year. But just be sure to call us once a week to tell us that you’re O.K.”
Marissa’s eyes grew wide, “Really! You are willing to match $2,500?”
“Yes. I think it’s a great idea to travel and see the world. But I don’t think you’ll make it on $2,000, once you pay your airline ticket. You just have to be positive that you want to go ahead with this. Do you Marissa?”
Her excitement faded into sadness. Her thoughts were on Nick. “I think I do. But I’m not sure.”
“What’s holding you back honey?” her father said tenderly.
“It’s just that…” her voice trailed off. She couldn’t possibly tell her father about Nick just yet.
“It’s Mike, isn’t it?”
She raised her head to look into her father’s eyes and nodded slowly.
“If it’s meant to be Marissa, he’ll be here when you return.”
Relieved at his understanding, Marissa threw her arms around her father hugging him tightly. “Thanks Dad.”
She then clapped her hands to her cheeks and shouted, “Oh my God, I’m going to Europe! Do you believe it?”
Now, how was she going to tell Nick and her mother?
Before leaving for yoga the following Monday, Marissa stared at the plane ticket on her nightstand. Plans for Europe and graduation were coming to a head. Her father had helped her apply for a passport during the week. Seniors were fitted for their caps and gowns. The choir practiced the songs for the graduation mass and commencement ceremony. Marcus had graciously got his sister on the phone so that Marissa could be introduced. And Marissa had written State to ask if they could hold her spot for the following year.
The changing temperament of the weather patterns in April matched the changing of her moods. In the morning it was sunny, followed by rain at lunchtime and then sun again in the afternoon. Now as Marissa stepped out of the house, it was pouring rain once again. During the day Marissa went from excited, to nervous, to apprehensive, to terrified and back to ecstatic. But one thing was for certain. She didn’t want to tell Nick she was going just yet for fear that he might pull away when they only had a few weeks left before June first.
Without thinking, she stuck her hand out to feel the rain then ran as fast as she could to her car. “How are we supposed to run in this stuff?” she thought. But then again she didn’t really care. She would be with Nick and that is all that mattered.
The rain continued to pound down on the windshield. As she pulled into the parking lot of the recreation center, she realized they wouldn’t be running that evening. The lot was flooded with at least an inch or two of water and it was still coming down strong. To her surprise, Nick’s truck was already there. She drove her car right next to his.
In an instant she was out of her car and into his truck. “Wow!” Marissa exclaimed. “I can’t believe you’re early.”
“Whatever happened to ‘Hello Nick, I’m so happy to see you’?” he teased.
Marissa playfully climbed up on all fours, crawled toward him and in a sexy voice said, “Hello Mr. Smith, am I ever happy to see you.”
He teased her some more, “Whoa, you’re scaring me.”
Marissa continued her ruse, “What? You don’t want me?”
“Yeah, that’s why you’re scaring me. We’re in a parking lot in broad daylight Mariss.”
“Learn to live on the edge a little,” she pouted.
“You don’t call going out with a student ‘living on the edge’? ” Nick said kissing her.
“Well, I suppose it’s a start,” she murmured in between kisses.
“I’ve got news for you,” he whispered into her ear.
She stopped kissing him for a minute and said, “Good news or bad news?”
Nick pursed his lips together and looked up pensive, “Huh. I don’t really know if it’s good or bad. I guess you could see it as either. But I just look at it as news.”
“O.K. Now you’ve totally got me curious. What is it?”
“I got pink slipped today.”
Marissa looked at him wide eyed. “No way! You’re kidding right?”
Nick shook his head. “No, I’m serious.”
She backed away from him sitting cross-legged on the bench. “What did they say to you?”
“They said that they were having budgets cuts and that they were planning on scraping the whole art program,” Nick snickered.
“You don’t believe them do you?”
“That would really surprise me if it was true. They just spent a whole lot of money on the art room, they’re not going to scrap the art program.”
“So why do you think they fired you? Was it because of me?” Marissa asked anxiously.
Nick ran his fingers through his hair as he thought. “It could be. But I really don’t know. They weren’t particularly nasty to me nor were they nice either. I just think I never fit the profile of a St. Mary’s teacher and that scared them.”
Marissa studied her lover for a minute before asking, “Are you upset about it?”
“Not too upset. I’ve got a few more weeks before the end of the school year and then I have to look for another job. I’m a little surprised they let me go, that’s all. I think I’ve been doing a decent job.” He looked up at Marissa and smiled. “But that means good news for us.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, now I can look for a teaching job where ever I want, including in California,” Nick said.
“But I thought you said you wouldn’t consider moving out to California,” Marissa complained.
“Well, now that I have to find another job, I might as well be
a little flexible.”
The pitter-patter of raindrops danced on the roof. Thunder clapped loudly above them.
“Speaking of flexible, we have yoga in a half an hour. How are we supposed to jog in this rain?” Marissa wondered out loud.
“We can’t. We’ll be soaking wet for class,” Nick reasoned. “You know what this reminds me of?”
“No, tell me.”
“Of the day we went to the Folk Arts Festival. Do you remember? It was pouring. And you told me that I’d kiss you one day,” Nick reminisced.
Marissa beamed. “And I was right!”
Nick shook his head in disbelief, “How do you know these things Mariss? How do you just know? How do you make things happen in your life?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I just do it. I imagine it happening and it does.”
*****
“Just as I was starting to get excited about going to Europe, Nick had to come along and ruin it all,” Marissa whined to Chip as they cleaned up the dining room. They both closed the restaurant the following Friday night so going to the bar was out of the question. They wouldn’t be done until close to one.
Chip tossed her a dishtowel. “What do you mean babe?’
She grabbed a bottle of Windex and sprayed down the server stand. “He got pink slipped,” she explained, “uh fired. So he said he would even look for a teaching job in California.”
Chip grimaced, “Ew, I think I know where you’re going with this.”
“What do I do?” Marissa whined. “Before the decision was easier to make. I wanted to get out of here. Nick said he wasn’t going to California with me, so I made the decision to go to Europe. Now this throws a whole monkey wrench in my plans.”
Chip threw his hand on his hip, “So you would actually consider not going to Europe? You already bought your plane ticket. Marcus made all of those plans for you. That would be totally bogus if you blew him off.”
“I know!” she shrieked. “But before I bought the ticket Nick had never even talked remotely about commitment. And now he’s willing to move somewhere with me. How couldn’t I give that careful consideration?”
“I know you think he’s the one Marissa. But if he is, he’ll still be here when you come back from Europe,” Chip counseled.
Marissa threw up her arms. “You sound like my dad!”
“Hey I could be a dad someday,” Chip said looking innocent.
“How are you going to manage that?” Marissa asked with genuine interest.
“I could adopt,” said Chip matter-of-factly.
Marissa scrutinized him. “I couldn’t see you as a dad Chip, more like a mom.”
Chip stared back at her, “O.K. what have you been smoking? But seriously, you’ve planned this whole Europe trip, just do it. And don’t hurt Marcus’ feelings. He’s way too siked about showing you Germany. I wouldn’t want to see his bubble burst.”
“I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings,” Marissa moaned. “I just really want to be with Nick and if this is my opportunity, I don’t know if I want to give it up.”
Chip grabbed the Windex bottle and pointed it at her menacingly. “Do you know what I think? I think you’re scared. You are terrified of leaving home and Nick is your way out of it. Do you truly want your freedom missy? Then go. But I don’t know if you have the guts to do it. It would be too easy to go from your parents’ clutches to your boyfriend’s arms. But could you be out on your own without anyone to turn to? Think about it.” Then he poked her playfully with the bottle.
“Ouch!” she cried. “That hurt.” Yet what hurt more were the words Chip uttered. Her first reaction was anger. She thought he was totally wrong. Yet the more she thought about it, the more she came to realize he had a point. Did she really need to break away from any level of comfort to be free?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Marissa and Pamela sat at the kitchen table writing graduation party invitations.
“Here, Mom made this list of people to invite,” Pamela said.
“Do we have to invite those crazy relatives?” Marissa groaned.
“Hey don’t shoot me, I’m just the messenger,” Pam said as she handed her the list. “But hey, look at the bright side of things, they might give you money.”
“That’s a good point.”
Pamela looked over her shoulder before whispering, “Hey did you tell Nick you’re going to Europe yet?”
Marissa squinted at the list as she tried to read her mother’s handwriting. “No, not yet. I’m holding out until the last minute.”
Pamela raised her eyebrows. “Why in the world would you do that?”
“Two reasons. One, he might try to break it off now. And two, I’m still thinking about it,” Marissa reasoned.
“Still thinking about it? Marissa, June first is two weeks away! You have your plane ticket,” Pamela screeched.
“Yes it is two weeks away,” a voice boomed out. “Have you talked to your mother yet Marissa?”
Marissa cringed. She turned to see her father standing in the doorway. “No, I haven’t told her yet. I was hoping to tell her the day before, maybe.”
Her father shot her “the look”. It was a look only a father could give. “You need to tell her Marissa,” he said sternly. “Be a mature adult, tell her now.”
Marissa folded her arms. She looked from Pam to her dad and back. She glanced down at her watch: eleven thirty. She had to leave for work at four but with all the explaining she had to do, she figured she might need four hours.
“Fine,” she said calmly. Then she gazed down at the mountain of invitations on the table. “Pamela could you finish these please?”
Pamela, who was in the middle of licking an envelope, nodded. “Yes, I’ll finish them.”
Marissa exhaled deeply. “O.K. guys, here I go.” She grabbed her purse, her keys and turned on her heels.
“Good luck!” Pamela called out.
“Yeah,” Marissa blurted out with sarcasm, “I’m going to need way more than luck!”
Marissa treaded softly through the house, “Mom!” she called out weakly.
It’s close to noon, Marissa thought. Could she still be sleeping?
Raising her voice a notch she called out again. “Mom!”
A tiny voice responded, “I’m out here.”
Marissa followed the trail of the voice through the back of the house all the way to the back of the garden where her mother sat picking weeds. She sucked in her breath and made her way cautiously to Barbara’s gardening stool.
“Marissa!” Barbara rang out in surprise.
Marissa slipped her hands into her back pockets. “Hey Mom,” she said somberly.
“What are you doing here on a Saturday?” Barbara asked kindly but also with great curiosity.
Marissa cleared her throat. “I, uh, needed to, uh, talk to you about something.”
In a business-like manner, Barbara nodded her head and patted the ground. “Why don’t you sit down on the grass? It’s a lovely day isn’t it? It would be a shame to spend it indoors.”
Marissa knelt down beside her mother and examined a blade of grass, which she picked and started to nervously pull apart.
“So what do you want to talk to me about?” said Barbara as she began to dig with her trowel.
“Before we get to that,” Marissa sighed. “I would like to request that we have a normal conversation together, please. That means no screaming, no shouting and please Mom, no crying.”
Barbara recoiled. “Well, I can’t help it if I get emotional Marissa. It’s good to cry sometimes.”
“Mom,” Marissa begged, “I’m asking you just this once to try and have a normal adult conversation with me. I’m trying really hard here.”
Already becoming teary-eyed, Barbara nodded. “O.K., I’ll try.”
Marissa exhaled deeply. “Thank you. Now for the first subject,” she paused. “After I graduate next week, I’m going to take the year off to travel.”
“Wha
t?” Barbara jumped in. “What happened to college?”
“Mom, I’m not done explaining yet,” Marissa stated calmly. “As I was saying, I’m going to take the year off to travel. I have this great opportunity to go to Europe for a year so I’m taking it.”
Barbara, who had barely left her state let alone the country, became shocked. “What? Europe? But that’s so far away!”
“I know it seems far away,” Marissa said with empathy, “but I’m not going alone. I’m going with…”
Forgetting what she had promised moments before, Barbara screamed out, “I hope you’re not going with that teacher!”
Marissa could feel her patience draining from her body. Tears welled up in her eyes. “No, Mom, I’m not going with Nick. I’m going with a friend I met through another friend at work. He is German. I’m going back to Germany with him and I’ll be traveling with his sister.”
“You little tramp!” her mother yelled. “It’s all about boys for you isn’t it? You go from one boy to the next, from a teacher to some German guy, what’s wrong with you Marissa?”
Anger seeped from her bones. But somehow, even with the bitter accusations her mother spewed at her, she remained calm. “I’m sorry you see me that way Mom. I’m not here to defend my point of view. But if you must know, Marcus, the German man I’m going with, is gay. His boyfriend, Chip, is the one I work with. Secondly, I don’t go from one boy to the next. And if you took the time to genuinely talk to me, without judgment, you’d see that. I’m deeply in love with Nick, or “the teacher” as you call him, just as I was deeply in love with Daniel before him. And it hurts me Mom, really hurts me to know that your agenda, your worries and selfish motives are more important than my feelings. And it hurts me even more to know that you would go out of your way to hurt the people I love. I know Mom. I know you called Daniel and were cruel and unkind to him and I know you called Nick and did the same. I know you think you were trying to protect me somehow. But in the process you destroyed any remaining respect I had for you. And do you know what else, Mom? By your cruelty, you only pushed me further into the arms of those men. Don’t you realize that? If you had been a little more understanding, a little more open-minded, you could have been an effective parent without the spite. And I sincerely hope that someday we can have a normal mother-daughter relationship but I think a lot of healing needs to take place before that can happen. That’s all.”
Forbidden Fruit: An Unlikely Love Story Page 27