by Len Webster
“You should let go of my hand, Noel. It isn’t very platonic.”
He let out a light laugh and squeezed her hand. “Clara, I told you. I don’t have any intentions of being platonic.”
Her heart and body betrayed her, those words had her breathless and speechless, and she knew her cheeks started to turn red.
Noel’s hand reached up and cupped her face. “I need to hear you say it, Clara. Did you come to Boston to throw away your engagement?” His thumbs ran across her cheeks and sent her heart fluttering.
I should lie. I have to tell him no.
“Yes.” The word came out without a proper thought.
The truth was out and the heaviness in her heart started to disappear. Noel’s other hand reached her face as he held her.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear, Clara.” He slowly breathed out her name as his face inched closer to hers.
Her eyes fluttered close as his lips came close to touching hers.
“Clara!” someone yelled.
She opened her eyes quickly and noticed her hands on Noel’s arms, her engagement ring glittering from the sun’s rays.
“Oh my God,” she breathed out in disbelief.
Noel’s hands disappeared from her face and she felt the emptiness in her heart. Her eyes searched Noel’s to try to find an explanation. Clara quickly stood up and looked down at him. The sadness in his eyes tore a hole in her heart.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” A tightening in her chest returned as she tried to apologise, but she stopped, unsure what to say. She turned away from the one person she had ever truly loved and her eyes met her brother’s. The shock on his face had Clara feeling sick. ”I’m sorry, Alex. It won’t happen again.”
Alex looked behind her at Noel and his nose flared.
“Get inside, Clara. Go back to your fiancé.”
The word drove a stake through her heart and Clara nodded. She didn’t say another word as she walked to the door and into the house. Clara paused and was tempted to turn around but the sight of her engagement ring told her no. She could hear the sounds of Alex’s voice but couldn’t make out the words. Clara climbed the steps up to her room.
Clara opened the bedroom door to see Liam still asleep in their bed. A lump in her throat formed as she stepped foot in the room and closed the door behind her. She walked over to her side of the bed and looked at him.
I wanted Noel to kiss me.
She knew she couldn’t hurt Liam, but it was killing her to have feelings for Noel, feelings that wouldn't go away. Clara turned from the bed and walked over to the armchair by the corner of the room. She removed her woolen cardigan and let it fall to the floor. She picked up Liam’s hoodie and slipped it on.
Clara settled into the chair and wrapped her arms around herself. She was torn between what she knew was right and what her heart had yearned for. The smell of Liam’s cologne reminded her of the times they shared together. Clara closed her eyes and tried to forget the feeling of Noel’s touch and the way he looked at her. That moment today would not make her lose her engagement.
⌘
Placing her MacBook on the kitchen counter, Clara sat on the barstool. She typed in her password and brought up her emails. She looked at the long list of unread emails from her wedding planner. Clara scrolled down until she reached the oldest email. Opening it up, she quickly read that she had to finalise the flower arrangement choices.
Clara clicked the link to the page of flowers to be chosen from. This morning’s sunrise was the first since her almost kiss with Noel. They never spoke and instead she kept her eyes on the rising sun. She shouldn’t have come out and continued watching with him, but she couldn’t stop herself. No other words were spoken except for good morning. She had ignored the pain in her heart and his stares. Clara stopped scrolling down and brushed her curls over her shoulders and onto her back.
After the sun rose, Clara returned to the house and found Liam on the bed, looking at the guest list. She sat with him and went through those they invited to the wedding. Once they got to her parents’ name, Clara quickly changed the topic to Ally visiting Melbourne when they returned home. She wasn’t sure when she’d come clean but right now wasn’t the time. Liam would undoubtedly ask questions and she didn’t want the truth of her mother’s hate for her to be revealed. Clara winced at the thought. Liam wouldn’t understand and she wasn’t sure if she did herself.
“Hey, Clara.”
She looked up from her laptop to see Andrea walking into the kitchen with a smile on her face.
“What you doing?” Andrea asked as she sat on the barstool next to Clara.
“Oh, umm, my wedding planner wants flower choices for the centerpieces. I’ve kinda been ignoring her emails.” The confidence shone through Andrea’s smile and Clara felt small in comparison to her. The way she carried herself and treated Noel made Clara realise that Andrea deserved him. Something she hated to admit.
The only way to forget about Noel is to submerge myself in my wedding. I can’t ruin what he has with Andrea. It’s not fair on anyone.
“Want some help? I know I’m not one of your bridesmaids but another opinion could help you out.” The genuine friendliness in Andrea’s eyes had the guilt erupt in her chest.
I’m in love with your boyfriend.
The thought had Clara quickly turning away. She swallowed the large lump in her throat and blinked the threatening tears away. Admitting to herself that she was still in love with Noel was painful. Clara turned to face Andrea and smiled as convincingly as she could.
This woman deserves him.
“Sure, I’d like that,” Clara replied. She moved her laptop so Andrea could see the pictures of the bouquets on the screen.
Andrea was kind and honest and it made the guilt in her grow. If she were to be with Noel, she’d hurt Andrea and the thought made Clara’s heart sink. Every piece they looked at, Andrea gave her opinion and Clara found herself laughing at the jokes she made. As they clicked for the next page, Julian walked into the kitchen, dragging his feet and mumbling under his breath. Clara turned her eyes away from Andrea and looked up at him. The obvious frown Julian wore had her almost leaping from her chair.
“You okay?” Clara asked.
“Fucking peachy, kiddo. Rob’s an ass. Won’t get off the phone,” Julian said once he leant on the bench, staring at Andrea and then at her. “What are you girls up to?”
“My wedding planner emailed me some flower arrangements. You want to help choose? I mean, it’s really girly, but—”
“Please!” He cut her off, grabbed the laptop and walked around the bench until he sat in the bar stool next to Clara. “This flower choosing has more balls than Rob. I’ve never seen a man work so hard for a bang. My brother is so whipped it makes my balls hurt. This Stevie—or whatever her name is—has him wrapped around her little finger. Rob is such a dumb shit!”
Clara wasn’t sure whether to laugh or frown at Julian’s rant. His annoyance merely masked his jealousy. It seemed that things between Rob and Stevie were progressing and Clara smiled at the idea.
“Stevie is a lovely person, Julian. I think they’d be happy together. Don’t you want that?”
Julian stopped scrolling through the flower choices and glared at her. Andrea stared at Julian as they both waited for his reply.
He let out a sigh. “Sure. Of course I want that, but with someone named ‘Stevie’? She sounds more manly than Rob and that’s a little sickening to imagine.”
Clara shook her head at him. “Julian, I should remind you that you packed your bags over a girl. You can’t judge Rob. He’s making an effort,” she scolded.
“You left over a girl?” Andrea asked.
Julian looked at Clara and shot her an icy stare.
“Long story, Andrea. Not even worth the mention,” he waved off.
“Jul—” Before Clara could continue with her scolding, her phone lit up and rung.
“Who’s Ally?” He tilted his
head and arched his eyebrow up at Clara.
“Liam’s younger sister,” she replied. A little glint appeared in Julian’s eyes, and she and Andrea both laughed at his excitement. “She lives in Sydney by the way.” With that one sentence, Clara knew she had him.
“Sydney, hey?” The fascination in Julian’s seemed to indicate he was seriously considering the thought of Ally.
Clara didn’t swipe her phone in time to answer, missing Ally's call. “I know what you’re thinking and stop that! That’s going to be my sister-in-law.”
Clara quickly sent Ally a message and looked back at her laptop. She sat there, listening as Julian and Andrea debated over their preferred choice. She heard her brother’s voice. Clara watched as he walked into the kitchen with Noel, his eyes meeting hers before turning to Andrea. Rob, Max, Keira and Liam walked into the kitchen moments later.
Liam walked around the bench and stood behind Clara. He let out a laugh and whispered, “Got Jo’s messages I see,” and kissed her cheek.
Clara’s eyes never left Noel’s as she watched him ball his fists.
“We’re hitting the golf course, you guys want to come?” Alex asked.
Andrea swiveled off the barstool, walked over to Noel and took his hand. “I’m a pro at golf. Practically grew up on the green,” she revealed.
“Andrea’s on my team. I’m not losing to Rob at anything ever again. Not after that race we had on the Yarra last week.” Max winked at Andrea and she let out a laugh.
“Coming, Clara?” Noel asked.
It was the first proper thing he said to her in a day, but she shook her head.
“I suck at golf and I have a lot of stuff to do and emails to answer. You guys have fun. Liam, you go, too. I know how much you wanted to try out the course.”
Liam swiveled Clara around until she faced him. “You sure?” he asked.
Clara nodded.
“Don’t worry, Liam. I’m staying with Clara. We can have that Clara and Keira day I’ve been waiting for,” Keira cheered and gave Alex a quick kiss before she walked around the bench and sat on the stool next to Clara.
“Well, we better get going. We’ll take my car and Noel can take Keira’s. Liam can come with me, I think it’s time we had some time together, you’ll be my brother-in-law soon,” Alex said.
Fear flashed in Liam’s eyes and Clara laughed at how cute he looked when he was terrified. She placed both hands on Liam’s cheeks.
“Alex is not going to hurt you, are you, Alex?” she asked over her shoulder.
“I make no promises, Clara,” Alex replied.
She turned and glared at her brother. His face was tensed but no matter how much of a serious act Alex would pull he wouldn’t hurt Liam. He meant too much to Clara.
“You are going to be fine,” she reassured.
Liam kissed her forehead and walked towards the others. They all said bye to Clara and Keira before they walked out of the kitchen. Clara didn’t look in Noel's direction instead she looked down at the bench. Once she heard the door close she let out sigh.
“Thank you,” she whispered to Keira, who took Clara’s hand and squeezed it.
“Alex told me about yesterday. How about we forget about those boys and have an afternoon together. Have you chosen a bouquet yet?”
Clara smiled and was thankful for her brother’s girlfriend.
“Yes, I’ve chosen white tulips.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Where'd you pull that shot?” Julian asked, astonished.
Noel looked at him and shrugged. “I've got no clue. Fluke shot.” He walked out of the bunker and stood next to Julian.
“We're so shit that everyone’s three holes ahead of us. Andrea wasn't lying when she said she was a pro. Look at her,” Julian said.
Noel looked out in the distance to see Andrea swing her club out and hit the ball expertly. It only took her one swing to hit the green only just missing the hole.
“Her dad owns a golf club in Phoenix. I don't think she's been on a golf course since she moved to Boston.” Noel placed his club into the hired golf bag.
Once he reached the golf cart, he loaded it up with his bag and then Julian's. Noel reached for his bottle of water on the seat, uncapped it, brought it to his lips and drank.
“What are you going to do about Andrea?” Julian asked as he leant on the cart, crossing his arms over his chest.
Noel capped the bottle and placed it back on the seat. He ran his hand through his hair and groaned.
“I don't know. Each time I'm with Clara, I feel myself falling out of love with Andrea. I care about her. But I keep remembering why I love Clara each time I'm near her. I almost kissed her yesterday.”
The surprise flashed in Julian's eyes as he pushed off the cart.
“Almost?”
“Alex caught us. Should have seen her. She was horrified when she realised what was happening. I was so close but then again, I'm kind of glad Alex caught us. I don't want her to hate me if I did kiss her.”
Julian scratched his head. “You need to work this out, Noel. You don't have a lot of time left. Andrea was helping Clara choose flowers for the tables. I helped so I could see what she was up to. Heard her the other day with Liam talking about a guest list and a registry. This wedding is happening and you need to make up your mind quickly to stop her.”
Damn! I'm running out of time!
“Don't look now but Alex is coming. Guy looks ready to run you down with his golf cart,” Julian warned.
Noel turned to see Alex drive his golf cart over the hill and stop in front of them. Alex removed the keys from the golf club and took his phone out of his pocket. The frown on his face had Noel tensing.
Something's wrong. Clara has to be okay!
“Alex, what's up with you?” Julian asked.
Alex looked up and his jaw clenched. “Julian, take the cart up to the others. Noel and I will meet you guys a little later. The others know that we'll meet you at the club bar.”
Noel's eyebrows met and he looked at Alex.
“What's going on, Alex?” Noel asked, fearful of what he’d say.
Alex placed his phone in his pocket and shook his head. “The Lyndon account is collapsing. Your junior fucked up! Mercer and Gregson want a conference call. Now!”
Noel froze. He spent hours fixing the mistakes his junior made. The idiot needed to be fired, because that’s what HR hired. An idiot. “Are you fucking kidding me? What the hell did Milligan do now? I haven't been gone a week! Why didn't Colleen call me?” Noel reached into his pocket for his phone.
“Mercer just told me and he's got a video call set up for us. We have to go now. You'll be ‘right, Julian?”
Noel handed Julian the cart’s keys as he tried to figure out what Milligan could have done. His promotion and his job were on the line if it was that bad.
“We'll see you later, Julian,” Noel said as he followed Alex to his golf cart.
“You're the worst golf partner, Noel. With you gone maybe I can actually win! Good luck, boys.”
“Not with Andrea and Max as a team. Liam's pretty good and Rob's been awful. Must run in the Moors genes to be that shit at golf!” Alex shouted as he climbed into the cart.
Noel followed and let out a laugh.
“You're so funny, Alex. I hope you get fired, you bastard!” Julian yelled as he kicked the grass.
⌘
Alex cut the engine and they sat in the car for a moment. Noel knew they were both worrying about their futures at G&MC. Alex unbuckled his seatbelt and looked at Noel, a smile appearing on Alex’s face, one that confused Noel.
“Relax, Noel,” Alex said.
“Relax? Are you kidding me? Milligan has probably fucked us both over with his laziness.” Noel unbuckled his seatbelt and looked at Alex.
“Milligan didn't fuck us over. I lied.”
Noel looked at his best friend in disbelief. Alex was never the type to lie.
“You what?”
Alex le
t out a laugh before he tensed and a cold stare consumed his face. “Yesterday, when I caught you, I didn't want to catch you. But I didn't want Clara to feel awful about kissing you. That's why I stopped you. Not because I didn't want it to happen. I didn't want Clara to feel like she became Darren. I lied about the conference call so that you and Clara could have a moment together. No interruptions from any of us. This is your chance. I was probably the reason you guys ended in the first place and I want to fix that. If Clara says no, you need to let her go, okay?”
Noel couldn't believe what he was hearing.
“You did this for me?”
Alex nodded his head.
“You're my best mate, Noel. I want you to have every bit of happiness that I have with Keira and well… you love my sister. The way she looks at you is enough for me. She's just really confused. All she needs is time but give her a reason.”
I have one chance. Alex is giving me one chance with Clara.
Noel opened the car door and walked up the path to the double story house. He didn't bother knocking. Noel opened the door and walked towards the living room. He stood by the doorway as Keira and Clara's backs faced him. He stood there for a second to listen.
“I don't know, Keira. I'm so lost. There's this big part of me that tells me that marrying Liam is the right thing to do. But there's a bigger, more needier part that wants Noel.”
His heart throbbed with an intense pain and pleasure. A part of her still wanted him, one that outweighed her need to marry Liam. There was still hope.
“I can't forget him because he's the first man I've ever loved. When we were together I was happy and it felt incredible and right to be with him. I never knew that feeling with my ex. I never had sex with Darren, all he was after was my virginity and then…” Clara's voice went small and Keira's hand move to Clara's shoulder.
“Clara, did you lose your virginity to Noel?”
Clara sniffed.
“Yes, just don't tell Alex. If he found out he'd think the worst of it all. It wasn't like that.”