Danial took a sharp intake of breath and held it. A few moments passed.
“Depends on the man,” Danial said finally, letting out the breath. “I trust you. You’ve never given me reason not to. But you’re right in thinking I’d kill a human, vampire or any other being who’d entered your body in any way without my permission, especially against your will. If Devlin had turned you or hurt you in that hotel room, I’d have had him executed, brother or no.”
“He did hurt me—” I began stubbornly.
“Sar, be honest with yourself. Devlin seduced you. You’re feeling guilt, plain and simple.”
“He said he would turn me—”
“Sar, if he turned you, you would never again want him or any other vampire to take your blood,” Danial said chidingly in my ear. His arms tightened around me just perceptibly. “At the very least, once you were vampire, your blood would no longer taste of summer. Why would he destroy your mortality after he made such a point to tell you how wonderful you tasted?”
Devlin had drunk from me repeatedly, yet I wasn’t any closer to turning that I’d been before. That meant he’d taken very little blood, despite all the bites. I didn’t reply.
“Further, if you turned, you would lose your ability to have a child. Do you think he would risk that either? You are the only one who has given birth to a vampire’s child in millennia. Stephen said you might be able to heal the damage you sustained birthing Theoron. I shared that with Devlin when Theo told me about it months ago. Dev knows that your being half turned is slowly healing you. Word is spreading about Theoron. All the Rulers already know. Your name is being whispered around the globe. No vampire who valued his own life would risk turning you or hurting you, including Devlin. You are far, far too valuable.”
Devlin’s words to Al came back to me. He had called me valuable, very valuable....
“And what of the hotel curtains?” Danial said softly. “You had only to rip them back and Devlin would have fled into the bathroom or at least beneath the bed, letting you escape. Did you not think of that?”
I hadn’t, even though Devlin had made such a big point of them being a danger when we’d been in that hotel in Pennsylvania together. Guilt hit me like a fist, and I took a shaky breath.
“Sar, let go of your guilt. What’s done is done. Devlin didn’t leave a mark on you, though he seems to have left one on your heart.”
“I—”
“Shh,” Danial whispered, hugging me. “He saved your life when no one else could have. That matters most.”
“I keep thinking about him,” I whispered. “I tell myself not to, but I do—”
Danial shifted, then his lips grazed my neck, kissing lightly. “Why? He is an ocean away, Sar. If you want to fantasize about him, what’s to stop you?” He kissed harder, moving upwards.
I stretched up under his caresses, leaning into him and letting my head loll back. “You’re not going to tell me I’m weak and immoral?” I murmured.
“I’m just jealous you’re not fantasizing of me,” Danial whispered heatedly in my ear. “But perhaps you are. I can visualize you and him together, entwined and then joining you, loving you together with him—”
Images came of being with Devlin again, of losing myself in his lovemaking and Danial there watching us not with angry judgment, but with his own love and lust. Danial kissed me as Devlin made love to me, then Danial made love to me as Devlin sang to me. Having them both touch me together, our bodies meshing together in slippery need as we strained toward climax...
“Sar,” Danial said hungrily, rubbing his cheek on mine. “You are radiating want and need like a cat in heat. Does the thought of having us both move you that much?”
“Yes,” I said lustily, my face heating. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Danial said forcefully as he kissed me. After all I’d just imagined, his kiss was like lighting a case of firecrackers all at once. We both exploded with passion.
Chapter Eighteen
I pulled him to me, and he rolled on top of me in one motion, his tongue thrusting into me. I opened my mouth on his, trying to draw him in further. He ripped his shirt from his body with a sound of tearing cloth, and then he was on me, grinding his hard penis against me, his hands slipping beneath my sweater to touch my breasts. I arched my body off the bed, wanting him, the stretchy material of my leggings so thin it was like having nothing between us.
“I want you,” Danial said roughly, kissing me on my neck and face. “Let me have you, Sar.” There had never been so much need in his voice before, so much wanting. His eyes were wild, a frenzy to his movements.
“Yes,” I said, shakily, “Please, Danial, please.” If I didn’t have him inside me in a few seconds, I was going to die. Nothing mattered to me but getting off my clothes and his. If I could only get him inside me, I could live through the next few moments.
He yanked off his jeans with a grunt as I pulled off my sweater and my bra. In a second, he was stripping off my boots and my leggings and underwear, throwing them aside. Then we were naked together, as we hadn’t been for so long. I felt the brush of his fangs as he kissed me and the coolness of his skin against mine. We were half-mad with lust and love, with the desire we’d lived with for months and hadn’t been able to satisfy. It poured out of us like a river, and like a river, we drowned in it together. He groaned when he slipped his fingers inside me, my body drenching him quickly in slick eagerness.
It was his penetration of me that shocked me back into myself. What was I doing? This was going to make everything ten times worse!
I gathered every bit of willpower left inside me and pushed him away from me. It was like trying to move a tree. Danial put his body over me and moved his hips, ready to thrust inside me. I took a breath to scream for him to stop and then felt Danial’s fangs against my neck, gently pricking me.
All thoughts of stopping him vanished, swallowed in sheer unbridled desire. “Bite me,” I said gutturally, pushing up my hips to rub against his. “Take me.”
Danial hesitated a second, his body shaking with need above mine. And then he bit down deeply, sliding his erection into me completely. I let out a scream of pleasure and clasped him hard, bucking beneath him, trying to get him further inside. He sucked greedily at my throat, his movements on me frantic. I climaxed in seconds, letting out piercing, gratified screams. Danial suddenly arched his back, driving deep and let out a primal scream of utter release. He pumped his hips repeatedly, then slowed, pushing deeply into me one last time before his body sagged on mine. I lay beneath him, fighting to get my breath. My heart was beating wildly. Guilt flooded me, yet it couldn’t dislodge the raw bliss engulfing me.
Danial pushed up from me slightly, smoothing back a lock of my hair. “I’m not sure what to say,” he said tenderly. “I’m not sorry for what just happened, but I think you are.”
I wriggled out from under him and walked over to the stairs where I sat, still breathing hard. He paused only to wrap the bed sheet around him before he followed me. He took my hand in his gently, sitting beside me. “Was this how it was with him?” he asked. “With Dev?”
“The last few times, yes,” I said, wiping at sudden tears. “I knew I shouldn’t do it, and yet I did. Hell, it was worse than that. I instigated it.”
“I’m sorry you’re upset,” Danial said, slipping his arm around me. “Please know I only took a few swallows.” He paused. “I’m sorry also for not wearing protection—”
“Forget it,” I cried, borderline hysterical. I waved my hand. “Devlin didn’t wear any either—”
“Shh,” Danial said, picking me up and bringing me back to his bed. “Come, I’ll help you dress.”
“There’s no fucking point!” I shouted, struggling. “I might as well just get back in bed with you—”
“No,” Danial said coolly, gathering up my clothes with one hand and trying to keep me still. “If we’re together I want you to want me, not act in thrall to my will.” He handed my clothe
s to me. “Now get dressed, please. We need to figure this out.”
We put our clothes on quickly, then sat back down on the bed. He didn’t speak. Finally, I asked, “What just happened to us?”
“I don’t know,” Danial said, concerned. “I felt like I had to be inside you at all costs.”
“I felt the same way,” I said. “There was no pain when you bit me, just pleasure.”
“Something has changed between us,” Danial said with self-loathing. “I constantly desire you, but I always could control my lust before this. Worse, I knew I should resist. That you didn’t really want to have sex. Instead, I gave in to my desire.”
“The problem is I did want sex, though I knew I shouldn’t. I’ve become a slut.”
Danial pulled me close. “Don’t say that,” he said sternly. “You are no more a slut than I am. Whatever had hold of us was irresistible, and it caught the both of us completely off guard.”
“It must be that I’m turning,” I said finally. “It explains everything. The lack of pain when you bite and the desire for your fangs. It was when I felt them that all thoughts of stopping you disappeared.”
“Maybe, but then why the desire for sex we both had?” Danial asked. “Sure, as Stephen said, enough sex with a male vampire might be able to turn a human female, though I’ve never heard of that actually happening. Sex has never been part of the turning process. It’s accomplished through blood exchange. And if you’re turning, why was it so easy for me to stop drinking? Though I desperately wanted to taste you, I didn’t feel like that time I marked you, when I didn’t want to stop. I stopped easily, and I had no desire to give you any of my blood.”
I shrugged. “For my part, I didn’t notice that you were turning me back when we were together. I’ve never before felt I had to have your fangs, or I would die. Letting you drink was just part of lovemaking with you, a shared intimacy. What I felt just now reminds me of that feeling of The Lust, but not exactly the same. I don’t want to be hurt at all. And I don’t want just anyone.” Tears filled my eyes. “Theo and I had a lot of sex last night, Danial, and I didn’t feel like this once.” I swallowed. “My desire wasn’t just wanting sex, it was wanting sex with a vampire. It has to be I’m turning because I’m sure as hell not pregnant again with a dhamphir.”
“Come,” Danial said, standing and offering me his hand. “We’ll go talk to Terian. He can look up the signs of turning and tell us if this fits. I’ve got to say it makes the most sense to me, too.”
“It’s day,” I said, following him upstairs.
“Terian can teleport here and bring us to his lab,” Danial replied, dialing his cell. “He’s worked up to two people he can carry with him. Or we can just talk in the great room, if he can tear himself away from his experiments.”
A few moments later, Terian was standing before us, disapproval written all over his face. That changed to worry and resignation after Danial explained what had happened to us.
“Is this because of her turning?” Danial asked finally. “If it is, what do we do?”
Terian grimaced. “There’s nothing you can do. Despite your love for Theo, Sar, Danial is your sire. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to stay away from him. He’s going to be drawn to you as well. Blood calls to blood, and you’ve had a lot of his over the years.”
I felt immensely better about my wanton behavior, though I chastened myself that it was no excuse. “Advice?”
Terian turned to Danial. “Danial, you have never been around someone who is partly turned, because your power to create vampires is so new. You probably could talk to Devlin about it. He could instruct you—”
“Tell us what you know,” I said, cutting him off. Nobody here would be calling Devlin about this, not if I could help it. “We need facts, well-documented ones.”
Terian shot me a look, then continued, facing Danial. “Sar is partly turned. The vampire virus in her came from your blood. What’s within her isn’t enough to turn her, now she’s no longer getting your bodily fluids, Danial. Still, it wants to, despite its losing the battle. She’s reverting to human with every day she goes without an infusion from you. Sar has always had a strong resistance to the virus you carry, and she hasn’t been with you for months now—”
I hadn’t been with Danial, but I had been with another vampire, one who had drunk my blood and spilled himself inside me many times in that day we’d spent together. Had Devlin somehow been the catalyst of this new problem? A tremor went through me.
“—so the virus is doing the only thing it can. It’s telling her body and her mind to seek you out, Danial. To keep the change progressing.”
“Why am I affected then?” Danial said angrily. “She’s not the only one who lost control.”
“Because your body and mind recognize that need in her, that she’s close to turning. Your cells are hardwired to respond to that need now. It’s part of having the power to make other vampires. The virus in you wants to replicate itself. You’re drawn to her like a moth to a flame.”
Maybe this was why I’d responded to Devlin as I had and even why he’d forced me to be with him. This sounded much more plausible to me than him secretly being in love with me. Still, he’d had no problem with self-control; he hadn’t been in the grip of anything but his own desires. No, he’d just been an asshole who’d taken me on a whim as he had taken everything else he’d ever wanted in his long life...
“So what do we do?” Danial asked.
“You have three choices,” Terian said slowly. “One, you can turn her here and now.”
“No,” I said.
“That isn’t even a choice,” Danial said wearily. “Next?”
“Two, Sar can leave with Theo. You stay away from her for months until she is completely back to normal and no longer a temptation.”
I shut my eyes and shook my head. “No.”
“That would be impossible,” Danial said with anger. “I can’t take Sar away from Theoron. Even with Al dead, Manir is still out there. Also,” he added. “We have no idea that Sar wouldn’t respond the same way to any vampire who was around. Just because Devlin took only what he needed from her doesn’t mean she didn’t want him to take more—”
“You let that bastard drink your blood!” Terian yelled at me incredulously.
“He needed it, Terian,” Danial said quickly. “He’d taken serious damage saving her. Anyway, Sar may react to other male non-vampires. Remember that time she went after you.”
“Sar, that you let him do that to you...” Terian trailed off as he closed his eyes and rubbed them. “I can see how affected you are,” he finished dejectedly. “Though there’s nothing I’ve ever read indicating that a turning female of any species would seek out strange men to have sex with—”
We didn’t need to reopen that embarrassing subject. “Choice three, Tears,” I said flatly.
Terian turned to me. “Three, you agree to let Danial take care of your needs. If he sates you like he did in your pregnancy, you’ll be okay, even around other vampires. Eventually, you’ll revert and stop craving the touch and bite of a vampire.”
“That’s your solution?” I yelled. “In what world do you think Theo’s going to go for that?”
“He may not,” Terian shot back. “But that’s your only other option I know of.”
“Thank you, Terian,” Danial said coolly. “Leave us.”
Terian gave me a reserved look, then disappeared.
Danial and I were silent for a long time, lost in our own thoughts. The longer the silence stretched, the guiltier I felt. Finally, I couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” Danial said, shaking himself slightly. “What is it?”
“I have a moral question for you. Say you’re in a position where you have to kill a few innocent people to protect a lot more innocents. If you don’t, the group of innocents will all be attacked and likely at least half killed. What do you do?”
Danial gave m
e a calculating look. “This is a moral riddle. Theo told me you asked him something similar. Before I answer, I need particulars.”
“Such as?”
“Where is my family? Do I have children, parents, a wife, siblings? Are they safe somewhere else or among the innocents?”
I thought for a moment. “You have a woman among the group of innocents, but not among the ones you’d have to kill. Any other family you have is safe somewhere else.”
“Does the group give me total power over it as leader?”
I shook my head. “As a possible war leader only, but they aren’t sacrificial lambs who’ll die for you mindlessly. The ones you’d have to kill will fight to live, and you’d have to kill at least a few personally.”
Danial studied me. “What do I get out of this? Personally?” he asked.
“Nothing except saving the people,” I replied. “You might say they’d make you king out of gratitude if you want to.”
“Will I have to fight personally if I don’t sacrifice the innocents? In either way, will my woman see battle herself?”
If we hadn’t come so far, I would’ve been tempted to tell Danial to forget it. “You will unless you kill the innocents. Your woman would be in the larger battle, but not involved in sacrificing the innocents unless she wanted to be. So, will you kill them?”
“I can see you’re wondering why I ask so many questions,” Danial replied. “But remember, Sar, I’ve seen real battles. The blood is real, not stage makeup. The cruelty of men is a fearsome thing when its only rein is the zeal of their beliefs.”
“What would you do?”
“Why do you ask, Sar?” Danial countered softly. “Why now of all times? What does this have to do with you and me and our feelings for each other?”
“I want to know if you’ll kill a few to protect many.”
“No,” he said simply. “Maybe in years past, but not now.”
Taken For His Own Page 30